10 Minutes Later   "What?!   You`re going where?  To do what?"  As predicted, Margaret was furious.     "Mom, I can`t just let them be killed.  It`s not in my nature."   "I`m supposed to stand idly by while you go to rescue the people who kept you away from me for thirty-six years?  This is ridiculous.  They don`t even deserve to live!"   "This is one of the negatives of being part of a family," Emily whispered in her brother`s ear.  "Just wait, it gets worse."   Jarod ignored her and tried to reason with his mother.  "Mom, Sydney went there to try and rescue me.  You can`t expect me to leave him to be killed." "And the other two?  Especially that Miss Parker.  She`s certainly her father`s daughter.  Why would you want to rescue her?  She`s been stalking you for years."   "She`s as much a victim of the Centre as I am."   "Ha!" Margaret screamed.  "She`s been free all this time, and where were you?  Twenty-six stories underground eating rabbit food!"   Jarod looked dazed and confused.  He had never encountered anything like this in all of his pretends.   Emily stepped in to rescue him.  "Listen, Mom, for whatever reason, these people are clearly important to Jarod.  If nothing else, we owe it to him to do whatever we can to save them."  Margaret threw her hands in the air and left the room.  "All right, Jarod," Emily continued, "this is the plan."   Jarod interrupted her.  "You`re not going."   "Like hell!  What is it with men?  I`ve been handling whatever the Centre threw at us for over fifteen years, and now my own father and brother think I`m too delicate to be involved.  Get real!" she hissed.  "I speak several Nilote dialects, not to mention that I have several connections in that part of Uganda.  Can you say the same?"   Jarod shook his head.  "I didn`t think so," Emily said.  "Now back to the plan.  I`ve already contacted the Centre posing as one of the rebels and changed the meeting place.  The missionaries there have agreed to pose as a group of Mamdanis, get the sim, and take Lyle and Brigitte hostage.  All we have to do is meet with the real rebels in their place.  And I know a nice patch of kudzu where we can pick up a jet."   "But what will happen when Sydney and Miss Parker see us?  They`re sure to say something, especially Miss Parker.  After all, they still think you`re Lee."   "That`s where the power of prayer comes in, big brother."   ************************************************************************************** The Next Day Northern Uganda   "You must eat something, Miss Parker.  It`s been four days."  Sydney experienced an odd sense of déjà vu as he urged yet another child of the Centre to eat.   "No thanks, Syd.  I got plenty of protein from the water."   "It`s really not that bad, Miss Parker," Broots said hesitantly.  "You just can`t look at it too much."   "They`re feeding us locusts and road kill, you moron, nothing is going to help the smell.  You, Samwiri," Miss Parker raised her voice as their captor walked in, "don`t you have anything better than this slop to feed us?"   Samwiri sighed deeply and turned to Sydney.  "Doesn`t she ever shut up?"  Sydney just smiled, clearly amused.       Miss Parker glared at both men.  "My father will never tolerate this kind of treatment.  If you infantile, back-woods morons know what`s good for you, you`ll take a break from your little war-games and…"   Sydney tried to quiet her but it was too late.  Samwiri interrupted her, shouting first in Nilotic and then in English.  "You will learn respect!"  He left the hut and came back a moment later, carrying a long strip of cloth.  "If you cannot give the Mamdanis the honor they deserve, then you will not speak at all."  With the help of the guards, he gagged Miss Parker and then turned to Sydney and Broots.  "At least now you will have some peace and quiet.  But do not remove the gag unless you wish to share her penalty."   **************************************************************************************   The Next Day Airstrip in Northern Uganda   A chartered plane landed on a deserted airstrip and let off two passengers.  As a group of poorly armed rebels arrived, Lyle whispered to Brigitte, "Should be like taking candy from a baby."  Then he stepped forward, pasted a polite smile on his face, and stumbled through a phrase of the local dialect.  To his surprise, the rebels broke into laughter.   One of them stepped forward and said in English, "You just told us that you are an ostrich and have come to bury your eggs in our sand."     "Oh, good, you speak English.  Then you must know why we have come."  His businesslike approach afforded him a moment of dignity, which was quickly spoiled when Brigitte put her hand over her mouth and dashed to the bushes.  "You must excuse my stepmother," Lyle said, in a desperate attempt to recover.  "She is pregnant, and it seems that the plane ride was a bit too much for her."     As if on cue, the engine of the plane started and it began to taxi down the runway.  Lyle looked shocked, and by the time he recovered, the plane was already in the air.   "Do you have the package?" the English-speaking rebel asked.   "I want my sister first," Lyle demanded, returning to the matter at hand.   The rebel smiled broadly.  "You are in no position to make demands."  He nodded at the man beside him, and the smiling rebels moved forward to disarm Lyle and Brigitte, who had just returned from the bushes.  "Now, the package, please?"   ************************************************************************************** Kudzu Patch Louisiana   Jarod and Emily cleared the last of the kudzu off the jet and smiled at each other.  "Finally," Emily said, "Maybe next time I`ll wait to make sure we don`t need the jet before I hide it."  They heard a rustle in the brush and turned around just in time to see an alligator sliding into the water.  "Well, hello, Miss Parker," Emily added with a mischievous grin.   Jarod smiled.  "Come to think of it, I did name an alligator after her once.  By the way, thanks for helping me out with Mom."   "I have an advanced MM degree."  Jarod looked puzzled.  "Mother Management.  I`m 30 and still live with my mother.  It`s a very necessary skill.  And you really need to work on your arguing skills.  If Mom can take you, you don`t have a prayer with me."   "I usually just argue with Miss Parker."   "The alligator?  Well, there`s your problem; you`ve been practicing on someone with the intellectual capacity of a spoiled four year old."   Jarod smiled but looked uncomfortable.  "Do you understand why I have to do this?"   "Understand?  Yes.  Agree?  No.  I grew up on a mission, so I understand the need to save souls, but some souls just don`t deserve to be saved."   ************************************************************************************** Northern Uganda   The ox-cart lurched from side-to-side and Brigitte looked ill.  Lyle looked impatient.  "How much further?"   " A while, Mr. Ostrich.  We`ll be there by nightfall."  The "rebel" looked up and saw a cloud on the horizon.  He pulled out two pieces of cloth and handed them to his captives.  "Here, cover your faces with these.  There`s a dust storm coming."  A few minutes later, they were surrounded by darkness and swirling dust.   Lyle crawled under a blanket.  "Can this trip get any worse?"   Brigitte winced and put her hand to her mouth.  "They`re not worth it."   ************************************************************************************** Rebel Airstrip Northern Uganda     Emily landed the plane and turned to her brother.  "Looks like we`re on, luv.  Damn, I forgot my lollipop."   Jarod smiled and reached in his coat pocket.  "Would you like some Pez?  It`s very good."   "That`s okay.  I have my own.  Let`s go."  They stepped outside where the rebels were already waiting.  Miss Parker was glaring furiously at Samwiri, but when she saw Jarod her eyes widened and she struggled to speak.   "Oh my God, Sydney," Broots whispered.  "Look!"   "Shh.  Let`s just play along."   "Do you think Lee got to him…um, he`s been retrained?"   "I hope not, Broots."   Emily relaxed visibly when she saw the gag in Miss Parker`s mouth.  "The power of prayer, bro," she said with a smile.   Samwiri came forward.   "Mr. Lyle, Ms. Brigitte, I presume."     "That`s correct," Jarod replied.  "Who is in charge here?"  Samwiri said something in Nilotic and a tall older man came and stood beside him.     "This is Kabaka Idi; he is our leader." Jarod turned to Emily who much to his surprise had adopted a rather submissive posture.  She did not look Idi in the eyes but spoke in a very respectful tone in the local Nilotic dialect.   "My stepmother will be able to translate for us.  She will also be able to instruct your people in the proper use of the chemicals."  Emily came forward rather demurely, presented Idi with an automatic weapon, and translated as Jarod said, "A gift from my Father for sparing my sister."     Idi smiled broadly, very pleased with the weapon as well as the respect he was being shown.  He spoke directly to Emily for a moment then waited while she translated.  "Samwiri will take you to the hostages and I will instruct Idi and his officers on the proper use of the chemicals."  Jarod looked worried but she had already started passing out the gas masks they had brought.   Sydney watched as Jarod and Samwiri approached.  Was this the Jarod he knew so well or had he been retrained by the Triumvirate?  He didn`t know what to expect.  "Sydney, Broots, you`re looking none the worse for the wear," Jarod said causally because of Samwiri.     You`re looking surpisingly well yourself, Mr. Lyle."     "Yes, I`ve recently found a very relaxing vacation spot."   Sydney studied Jarod`s face.  "Indeed Mr. Lyle indeed."   Jarod walked carefully to Miss Parker`s side, looked questioningly at Samwiri, and then removed the gag.  "You`re not looking well, Sis" Jarod said in a very even tone.     "Jarod what`s going on here?" Miss Parker whispered.   "Right now what`s going on is that you`re going to stay very quiet and we might get out of this alive."   Sydney came and joined them.  "Jarod, who is that woman?"     "Would you believe someone I picked up in a bar?"  Miss Parker`s eyes smoldered with an unspoken response.   "Jarod, where are Lyle and Brigitte?"  Sydney asked to keep Parker quiet.   "All in good time, Syd, all in good time."  Jarod replied.  "Mr. Samwiri, my sister is not looking well.  Do you suppose they could wait in the plane while Brigitte finishes?"   Samwiri considered this a moment and, not being able to think of a reason to say no, replied "I will have the plane checked for weapons."  He came back a moment later and said to the hostages sarcastically "I hope you have enjoyed your stay in our beautiful country."     "Beautiful cesspool," muttered Miss Parker as she walked to the plane.     "Parker," cautioned Sydney.     Jarod walked part of the way with them.  "We stocked up on food and water and there`s even a shower.  Try and relax; this will probably take a couple of hours."   Miss Parker walked very close and hissed, "You`re enjoying this aren`t you?"     "Enjoying what?" he asked with a false smile pasted on his face.     "This!  Coming to our rescue.  Once again you are in complete control and we don`t know what`s going on.  Oh, you are defiantly enjoying this."   "Miss Parker," Jarod snapped "someday we will talk about control but now is not the time."   Samwiri caught up to Jarod.  "You should have left the gag on."     "Yes," Jarod agreed, "but it would have to come off eventually."  Both men laughed and Parker glared at them from the steps of the plane.   Jarod joined Emily, who seemed to be about through with the training phase of the adventure.  She was talking to Idi, and said something that made all the men laugh.   "What`s up?" asked Jarod.   "Idi was just explaining to me that Miss Parker needs to be taught proper respect.  I explained to him that my step daughter has always behaved like a rhinoceros with tooth ache."   Jarod laughed and then sighed. " Yes, and the rhino is in an unusually foul mood."     "This should be fun," said Emily.  "I haven`t poked a rhino in years."  Jarod sighed again and looked worried.   Inside the plane Broots was already eating and saying between bites, "What do think is going on?  Was Jarod, you know, himself?  Is that Lee?"     Sydney replied, "I think Jarod is himself and that is certainly the same woman from the Centre, but I`m really am not sure of her place in all of this."     "I am," spat Miss Parker.  "As usual, boy wonder is in charge and she probably is just some bimbo he picked up in a bar."     "I don`t know, Miss Parker," said Broots.  "A bimbo that speaks the local language and knows all about biochemical weapons?  That must be some bar."     Miss Parker glared icily, but Sydney interrupted before she could speak again.  "Haven`t either of you noticed?  There is something very familiar about her.  I feel like I should know her but I can`t figure out why.  Something about her eyes."   Broots and Miss Parker studied Emily through the window.  The rebels were all laughing again.  "Who is she?" said Miss Parker.  "The Eddie Murphy of Uganda?"     "You know who she reminds me of?" Broots asked.     "No moron tell us," snapped Miss Parker.     "Well, um…. she kinda looks like, um, Jarod."       ************************************************************************************** 2 Hours Later Northern Uganda   Jarod and Emily entered the plane after saying their good-byes to the rebels.  The hostages were all showered and fed, but very tense.  Emily headed for the cockpit to start the engines without acknowledging anyone.  Miss Parker stepped in her way.     "Who the hell are you?" she demanded.     "Well how quickly you forget you own dear step mom, Luv". Emily said in an excellent imitation of Brigitte.   She pushed past Miss Parker who looked at Jarod and snapped "Well you two are certainly friendly enough with criminals."     Before Jarod could respond Emily called back, "Oh, Jarod is very used to the company of criminals.  After all, he grew up with the likes of you three." With that Emily disappeared into the cockpit and started the engines.  When the plane took off a few minutes later it could best be described as a hostile take off.     "Am I correct in assuming that Lee is not Matumbo`s assistant?"  Sydney asked.     Jarod looked at the trio and sighed.  "The less you know the better for all us.     "Does that mean you are working for the Centre?"   "The Centre had nothing to do with this," Jarod snapped.     "But Jarod," Sydney protested, "it was our understanding that Lee had taken you to Africa."   "Emi-ly did take me someplace."   "Who the hell is Emily?"   "Emily is Jarod`s sister, Miss Parker," Sydney explained.  "She was born six years after Jarod was brought to the Centre."   "You mean you were free this whole time," Miss Parker sputtered, "and you didn`t even bother to tell Sydney?"   "No one asked you to come to the rescue," Jarod pointed out angrily.   "Actually, Jarod, you did.  You were begging Sydney to help you when she was dragging you out of there.  You owed it to him to tell him you were safe."   "I don`t owe Sydney or anyone else in the Centre anything.  So instead of complaining, why don`t you just be grateful I came for you at all."     "And I suppose I`m suppose to say 'Thank you?`"   "I wouldn`t want to ruin your perfect record."   "Thank you, Jarod," Broots gasped.  "You saved my life again."   "Shut up, moron!" Miss Parker shouted.  "They`re doing this for a reason.  They must have an agenda."   "Sorry to disappoint you, Miss Parker, but I believe you have us confused with your father."   Miss Parker was speechless.  "I take it all back, Jarod," Emily called from the cockpit.  "You`re better at this arguing thing than I though."     "You mean you drug my father into this just to impress your baby sister?" Miss Parker snarled.   "Why not?  You`ve spent the past three years stalking me just to impress your father."   Miss Parker opened her mouth and was about to speak, but Broots interrupted her.  "Oh, Miss Parker, just lighten-up.  In case you`ve forgotten, they just saved our lives."   Sydney spoke up to save Broots.  "Parker.  This is neither the time nor the place."   ************************************************************************************** Sunrise Mission Compound Northern Uganda     Brigitte rolled over and opened her eyes, to the delight of several children who ran squealing from their posts by her and Lyle`s cots.  She stumbled outside for the day`s first visit to the bushes.  Several of the children followed her.  "What is this charming little dung heap?"  The children looked at each other in confusion before giggling again.  "Where are your Mummies and Daddies?"  The children giggled again and ran off.  "Finally, a little privacy."   The privacy lasted until she went back in the hut, where an excited group of children were listening to Lyle snore and cautiously poking at the stump on his hand.  She would have left her stepson at their mercy and gone back to sleep, but as soon as she lay down the children started drifting over and petting her blonde hair.  "Get me an adult," she snarled.  The faces disappeared, but soon Brigitte realized that they hadn`t understood her; they had simply discovered her bag of lollipops.  "Vile little rodents!" she screeched.  "Those are mine!"   The younger children, a group of seven three- and four-year-olds, began to cry.  Lyle finally woke up.  "What`s going on here, Brigitte?  Are you practicing your parenting skills?"   "Very funny.  Just get them out of here."     Lyle frowned in concentration before attempting another line in Nilotic.  Several of the children shrieked with laughter, while others only cried louder.  The smallest one, a little boy, ran to Lyle for comfort.  Before Lyle could stop him, the child had grabbed hold of his hair and used it to climb, still sobbing onto his lap.  "There, there; the bad lady won`t scare you anymore."  He stood up, putting his arms around the child just tightly enough to avoid dropping him.  "In fact, she`ll hold you and give you some candy."     Brigitte held the screaming child at arm`s length.  "What am I suppose to do with this?" she whined.   "How should I know?  Practice being a mother or something."  Brigitte set the child down to have a tantrum of her own.     "I`m in hell, here!  You have to do something!" she whined, jumping up and down.  The sight of an adult behaving even worse than themselves on a bad day finally startled the children into silence.  Finally, an adult arrived to rescue them.     Lyle spoke first.  "Where is my sister?"   "Your sister?  I know nothing about that.  We were only asked to keep you here a few days.  Consider yourselves our guests."     Brigitte`s jaw dropped.  "You mean, you`re not the Mamdanis?"     "Oh, no.  We`re missionaries."   ************************************************************************************** Twelve Hours Later St. -Etienne, France   Broots sat up and rubbed the sleep from his eyes.  "Hey, we`re on the ground.  Where are we?"   "Well, we`re definitely not in Kansas anymore," Miss Parker commented.   Jarod walked out of the cockpit.  "Rise and shine, everyone.  This is where you get off."   "Where are we, Jarod," Sydney asked.   "St. -Etienne, France.  Your home turf.   Miss Parker got up and looked out the window.  "And now what?  Are we just free to go?"   "Of course.  We have taken the liberty of preparing a cover story; we didn`t think you were up to it."   "Cover stories?  What`s the catch?"   "Simple.  You were never in Africa, and you never saw us.  As far as you know, I`m still at the Triumvirate`s funny farm."   Emily stood in the doorway, arms folded and a look of great disdain on her face.  Miss Parker noticed her.  "And what`s your part in all this?  What do you want?"   "Well, Mary Grace," (Broots gasped) "what I want is for my family to be left alone."  Emily walked over and stood nose-to-nose with Miss Parker.  "You people have stole enough of our lives.  Now it`s time for you to go away and leave us alone."  Emily pulled out a gun (Jarod gasped).  "And one more thing: if you ever shoot at my brother again, I will make sure you never see another sunrise."   "That`s Miss Parker.  Do you really think the Centre will just leave you alone?"   "No, but you will."   "Nobody tells me what I will and will not do."   "Except for Daddy, right?"   "You know nothing about my father."   "I know more than you do, Mary Grace."   "Don`t call me that."   "All right, then, 'Mary, Mary quite contrary.`"   Miss Parker decided to ignore the comment.  "Do you really expect me to keep this from my father?"   "Yes!" came the unanimous response.   "They`ve gone to great lengths to give us a cover story so that the Centre would never find out about this," Sydney added.   "Besides, do we really want the Centre to know that we went to Uganda to rescue Jarod?" Broots asked.   "But what about the hostage situation?  How is that going to be explained away?  Have you figured that out?" Miss Parker spat.   "Well, when they figure it out, they`ll just blame me," Jarod replied.  "Oh, don`t try and do business with the Ugandans again; they`ll be quite upset when they discover that the Centre traded their hostages for hair dye.  You really should hurry.  Especially you, Broots.  Debbie`s waiting for you in Paris.  Take her to Euro Disney.  And keep your stories straight."   Sydney put his hand on Jarod`s shoulder.  "I`m glad you found your family, Jarod.  You look happy.  I assume you found your mother as well?"   "Take care of yourself and Miss Parker, Syd.  You`ll need to watch your back at the Centre now."  Emily rolled her eyes and looked impatient.  Jarod looked misty.   Miss Parker and Broots were already getting off the plane.  "Miss Parker, is that…really your name?"   "Don`t you ever call me that.  Oh, by the way, Jarod, I`d watch my back if that were my sister."   **************************************************************************************