Choices

by Sherry

Laura Spencer sat on the veranda of their friend Maria’s Texas hacienda wondering if Luke would ever come back. He had been gone for weeks and not one word from him. He had promised when he returned that they would move to their own ranch a few miles away. Laura had been trying to fix up the old ranch house the best she could, but she needed to go into town to get some of the things she needed to make it seem like a home. Luke had warned her against leaving the ranch, since they did not know if Frank Smith’s men were tracking them. She was bored. Maria was nice, but she was busy and didn’t have time to sit and entertain a visitor all the time. Laura hadn’t left the ranch in a long time and she felt the urge to get out and explore El Paso. To keep Maria from worrying about her, she told her she would spend the night out at the ranch working. Laura left and went in the opposite direction into town.

It was so good to be among people again, Laura thought as she walked down the street. Occasionally she stopped and window shopped, noting items she would return and pick up later. She didn’t notice the expensive car slowly following her as she made her way from window to window. She stopped and went into a restaurant to get a drink and something to eat. As she waited for her food, she wondered what Luke was doing. Life on the run was not all it was cracked up to be. Luke left and went on his little adventures and left her home. He was always going across the border into Mexico for days and leaving her with Maria. She about had her fill of the status quo, and was going to tell him that when he returned. If he returns, she thought. She loved Luke, but she didn’t want to live like this the rest of her life.

Suddenly she wondered what he was doing. What would her life have been like, if she had gone back to the island? Stavros dead, could they have found happiness? No, she shook her head. Helena would have never let her return. She had said so, and Laura hadn’t attempted to try. Nikolas would be eight months old now. What did he look like? What was he doing? How many teeth did he have? Was he trying to learn to walk? Tears welled up in Laura’s eyes, and she lost her appetite. Guilt filled her. She had left her tiny baby to be with Luke. Stefan must surely hate her now. She had promised him she would return, and she had meant to, but Luke had seen her. That had made it hard to leave him. When Stavros fell down the stairs and died, she knew her bridge was burned. Stefan would watch over her baby that was what consoled her. He wouldn’t let anything happen to Nikolas, he had promised. And Stefan always kept his promises.

She walked out into the glaring sunlight and still missed the car that was parked just down the street from her. It wasn’t until she came out of a store and walked a little farther down the street that she noticed the car inching its way toward her. Laura casually continued her window shopping, keeping an eye out for the car that seemed to stop when she did. Finally she ducked into a store and waited for a while. After what seemed to be hours it crept down the street. The windows were tinted so Laura couldn’t tell who was inside the car. Curiosity won out over her fear and she followed the car to the most expensive hotel in town. As she hid inside the entrance to a building, she watched as a man got out of the car and handed the keys to the valet. Her breath caught in her throat. It looked like Stefan Cassadine. She had to duck back and hide, as he glanced around, and she didn’t get a good look at the man.

Laura waited for a few minutes then went into the lobby of the hotel. A young, attractive woman was manning the desk.

“Could you tell me what room Stefan Cassadine is in, please?” Laura asked.

The woman smiled. “He just came in. He’s in room 302. Would you like me to ring him and tell him you’re coming up?” She inquired.

Laura shook her head. “No, I want to surprise him.”

The woman looked envious. “He’s a good-looking man. I wouldn’t mind surprising him myself.” She drawled with a grin.

Laura nodded. “Yes, he is. Thanks for your help.” She said, as she walked to the elevator. What was Stefan doing here, she wondered? Her heart pounded, as she feared the worse.

Stefan walked into his room and took off his jacket, carelessly flinging it onto a chair. He walked to the bar and poured himself a drink. The Texas heat was oppressive and he unbuttoned his shirt to cool off from his time outside. He took a deep swallow of the bourbon. It had been a mistake to come here. He knew that now. Seeing her had only dredged up old memories and feelings that were best left buried. But when he had been so close, he hadn’t been able to resist the thought he might see her again. After days of waiting he had been rewarded. Lasha hadn’t changed, if anything, she looked more beautiful to him. He heard a knock at the door and went to answer.

Stefan opened the door to her. His eyes took her in. She was like a drink of water to a thirsty man.

“So, it is you.” She breathed. “Is it Nikolas? Has something happened to him?” Her voice quivered.

He held the door open for her to enter. “Do you care?” He asked harshly, as he shut the door.

Laura swung around. “Of course I care.” She said angrily, her eyes flashing.

Stefan walked to the bar and picked up his drink and took another swallow. “You’ve been gone almost seven months and not a word. Not the kind of message that makes one think you care what happens to your son.” He said scathingly.

Laura closed her eyes and sighed. She opened them again to see him staring at her, his expression inscrutable. “I know.” She admitted. She walked over to him. “Once Luke saw me what was I to do?” She asked.

“You should have told him you had a child and had to go home to him.” He said curtly, as he folded his arms.

Laura gave a short unamused laugh. “Oh, yes. If I had told him that, do you think he would have let me go?” She didn’t wait for Stefan’s answer. “No, he would have insisted on going to that island and taking Nikolas by whatever means necessary.”

“You think we would have been unprepared?” Stefan asked darkly.

Laura looked at him with frightened eyes. “No, I knew what to expect. That’s why I didn’t tell him anything. Then after Stavros died, how could I have come back?” She pleaded. “When he died that ended any hope I had of ever returning. Your mother would never have let me return. You know that.”

Stefan was silent. There was truth in what she said, but she never even attempted to come back. That’s what broke his heart that she didn’t care enough about their son to return. He knew Nikolas was his, he had known since the day of Stavros’ death. That was the secret he would never tell her.

“Nikolas, how is he?” Laura asked hopefully.

Stefan smiled at last, and she could see the love he had for Nikolas. “He’s growing up so fast.” Stefan marveled.

“Do you have a picture of him?” Laura asked tentatively.

“Yes.” Stefan walked over to the briefcase lying on a table and pulled out a picture and brought it back to her. Nikolas was sitting up and had stuffed animals surrounding him. He had a big smile on his face. He had grown so much since she had seen him. The tears coursed down her cheeks as she struggled not to breakdown. She had missed so much already.

“He crawls all over the place.” Stefan said with a smile. “He’s always getting into things. About a week ago he started pulling himself up and standing. Soon he will be walking.” He said with pride.

Laura nodded, staring at the picture, wishing she could hold him just for a minute.

“Nikolas likes the horses, so I take him to the stables to see them. But his favorite place is the cove. He reminds me of you, staring out across the water, as if searching for something.” Stefan said sadly.

“He won’t remember me.” Laura whispered.

“No.” Stefan answered brutally.

Laura started to sob, and he couldn’t help himself, he took her in his arms. Laura buried her face in his shirt and leaned into him, taking his comfort. His hand came up automatically and he stroked her hair.

“Shhhh.” He whispered in her ear. “It will be all right. I’ll make sure he never forgets you.” He promised. His voice roughened, as he immersed his face in her hair. He closed his eyes as he inhaled the fresh scent of her hair, a slight shutter going over his body, as his senses recalled the impression again. His arms tightened possessively around her, and he nuzzled her hair.

They fit together so well, she couldn’t help but think as she lay in his arms. She had always felt safe in his arms, as she did now. The last time they had made love had been a promise, the promise that she would come back to him and Nikolas. Suddenly it became urgently important that he know she hadn’t meant to break her promise, that she had no choice in what she had done

“Stefan.” She said softly, pulling slightly away from him to look up into his eyes. “I always meant to return. But Luke saw me, and then when Stavros died, there seemed to be no way I could go back. Luke would have followed me back, and would have fought for me.”

“He would have had to kill me before I would have let him take you away from me.” Stefan rasped.

Laura nodded sadly. “Yes, I know. Both of you would have fought. I couldn’t take the chance of Nikolas being in the cross fire. I would never have forgiven myself if I had and something had happened to him.”

“I would have protected Nikolas too.” Stefan insisted.

Laura searched his face. He seemed so young in comparison to Luke. “You don’t know Luke. You don’t know what he’s capable of. Luke can be ruthless. He fights dirty when he has to.”

She thinks I’m weak, Stefan thought. All the mocking words of his mother flooded his mind, all his insecurities. He smiled bitterly. “I’m not afraid of Luke. He would not so easily defeat me as you think.”

“I know.” Laura said softly, reaching up to cup his face. “But I couldn’t take the chance of something happening to either of you.” She took a deep breath, and gave him a tremulous smile. “If he had killed you, I wouldn’t have been able to live with myself.”

Stefan took her hand and gently kissed her palm. Laura gasped at the erotic sensation it evoked. He looked at her with eyes filled with passion. And she couldn’t seem to help herself as she swayed toward him, tilting her head to invite his kiss.

He needed no other invitation and softly kissed her. As he pulled back, Laura moaned at the loss of his mouth. She opened her eyes, they had gone dark with desire, his eyes echoed hers, the passion burned like fire in his green eyes. He reached for her again, and she melted into his arms. Nothing had changed, the way he could make her feel, nor the love she still felt for him. It had just been buried deep inside her.

Their kiss deepened, Laura’s hands moved automatically to the buttons on his shirt, wanting to feel his magnificent chest under her fingers. He moaned against her mouth as her hands played over his chest. His furry lips trailed kisses down the side of her neck as he unzipped her dress. When she stood before him just in her panties and bra, his gaze raking over her, Laura felt as if he had branded her with one look. She felt herself tremble under his gaze.

“Lasha?” He asked softly.

“Yes.” She breathed, a sigh of surrender.

Stefan scooped her up and carried her to the bed. He ripped off his shirt and went into her open arms. All afternoon and into the night they made love with the fury and passion of two people who knew not what tomorrow would bring.

Laura woke just after dawn. Nestled on Stefan’s chest, it felt right. She raised up and gazed tenderly at his sleeping face. Asleep with his hair tousled from the night of lovemaking, he looked like a boy. Her heart swelled with love and despair. She had no choice, but to leave him. She was between a rock and a hard place. She hadn’t told Stefan of the ominous threats Helena had made if she returned to the island. If she went back or even tried to see Nikolas, Helena had said she would kill someone dear to her. Who it would be, Laura had no way of knowing. And if Helena knew how she felt about Stefan, it could very well be him. And then there was Luke. He would never give up the search for her if she disappeared again. And it wouldn’t take him long to figure out where she was. Stefan wasn’t as strong as Luke, not as cunning, nor ruthless. There was no doubt in her mind that Luke would kill Stefan. That she couldn’t nor would allow to happen. To keep him safe from both Helena and Luke, she had to leave. Nikolas needed Stefan. Without him, her child would be completely under Helena’s control. This was going to hurt him again, but she had no other option. She had to keep him safe, not only for herself, but for her son. Laura lightly kissed his lips.

“I love you, Stefan.” She whispered to the sleeping man. “Someday I hope you know just how much.”

She reluctantly got out of bed and dressed. At the door she turned and looked at him one last time, before the tears clouded her eyes, and her vision of him. She left swiftly before she changed her mind.

When Stefan woke and found himself alone in the bed, he knew immediately she had gone. She loved him. He was certain of that. It didn’t lessen the pain of her abandonment for the second time. She just loved Spencer more than she loved him and their son. He sat on the side of the bed with his head buried in his hands and cried, mourning the fact she could love another man more than her own son.

The next day Luke returned and things got back to normal between them. But in the back of her mind Stefan was in her thoughts as well as Nikolas. Two months later Laura told Luke she was pregnant. During the delivery Laura was in a panic, what if the baby looked nothing like Luke? What if he found out? She knew Stefan would not be safe if Luke suspected anything.

When her son was put into her arms, she gasped. He looked so much as Nikolas had she was stunned. He had the same dark hair, and eyes, the only difference was his complexion was not as dark as Nikolas’. Luke seemed to think the baby’s coloring came from Laura’s mother Leslie, and Laura breathed a sigh of relief. As Lucky grew older his hair color changed to a dark blond and his eyes turned out to be blue. Laura thought then that Luke was the father after all. It wasn’t until Lucky was a very precocious three that Laura knew for sure. Her son had become angry with her and she had turned to see her son standing with his arms crossed and a scowl on his face, a miniature copy of Stefan in look and stance, she knew immediately he was Stefan’s child.

On reflection, there had been many signs, she had ignored or explained away. Now it was too late to do anything about it. If she left now and took Lucky to Stefan, Luke would go ballistic. He loved Lucky, and to him, he was his son. And she didn’t know what kind of reception she would get from Stefan. After keeping his son from him for three years he would probably hate her. She felt trapped all over again. By going to one, she would hurt the other. It would be best to leave things are they were, she finally decided. She hoped she was doing the right thing. And after all, she would probably never see Stefan again. Laura made her choice, and hoped she wouldn't regret it.

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