Lulu Cassadine

by Diana

Bobbie watched them from the doorway of Nikolas' room. He sat in the same position, still holding Nik's hand, still occassionally stroking his hair. Prying him away would be an impossible task.

"Stefan, Nikolas will be sleeping for hours. You haven't left his side since he was admitted and I'll bet you haven't had a decent night's sleep in months while you were searching for him. He has a very long recovery ahead. If you don't take a break soon, you're going to end up in a bed right next to him and that certainly won't do Nikolas any good. Will you at least come down to the cafeteria and let me get you a cup of coffee?"

"Your concern for me is touching, Barbara, if not believable. But there's no need for such transparent subterfuge. I know Laura is here in the hospital with Lesley Lu and that you've been to see her. If she wants to see Nikolas, all she need do is send word. I'll allow her to see him in private." He rose, kissed Nikolas and went to the door of the ICU. "You can tell Laura she's free to visit him now. I'll be in the waiting room until she leaves."

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Laura looked through the window at her son. She wanted to cry. He looked so young, so innocent. She ached when she thought of how much pain he had endured in his young life and how much of it she had been responsible for.

She went to his bedside and bent down to kiss his cheek, her beautiful, strong, wonderful son. She was almost glad he was too ill to know about Lulu. Being unable to help her would break his heart.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"What a beautiful little girl you are.", he said. "I'm so sorry to hear you're not feeling well but don't worry. I will take care of you, my little cherub, just like I do for your big brother. And the two of you will be home and having fun together faster than you would ever believe is possible." He touched her little hand. She opened her eyes and looked at him, then smiled. She closed them again and went back to sleep.

He walked toward the window and took out his cell phone. "Yes, have the pilot ready the jet. I'll be making an overseas flight tonight." He closed the cell phone and glanced once again at Lesley Lu before leaving.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Sitting by Nikolas' bed, Laura put her hands over her eyes. She couldn't hold back the tears any longer. How could so much have gone wrong? Lucky was gone. Nikolas was so ill. Lulu was no longer in remission. She had no idea where Luke was and she no longer had Stefan to lean on either. How could things have gone so horribly wrong? She began to sob, then cry as she felt a hand on her shoulder.

"Laura?"

She looked up. "Stefan? I thought we agreed not to see each other for a while."

"We did but I saw you here with Nikolas, so upset...." he paused. "I heard about Lesley Lu. I'm sorry."

Laura stood and nodded. "They're looking for another bone marrow donor now." Her voice broke. He put his arms around her. Breaking down, she buried her face in his shoulder and cried, holding on to him for support. After several minutes she pulled herself away.

"I can't let myself do this. I can't fall apart. I have to be strong for Lulu and Nikolas."

He wiped the tears from her face and smoothed back her hair. "You ARE strong and it's your strength and goodness that will carry you through as always."

She dried her eyes and turned toward the door. He grabbed her hand and pulled her back.

"Stefan please. We promised we would keep our distance."

"I know but I just wanted to talk, just for a few minutes."

"There's nothing for us to talk about. I told you that I need time. I need time to sort out my feelings. I need time to think about whether I really know what kind of man you are. I'll be honest. I miss you. I miss having you with me especially now with the children both so ill. But it's better to go through this alone now than to let things continue as they've been. I don't want to go any farther down a road which could lead to nothing but heartache for us both."

He sighed. "Laura, I'm not trying to break our agreement. I don't want to talk about us. I want, I need to talk to you about the children. There are things I need to tell you."

"Monica is keeping me up to date about Nikolas' condition. Dr. Miller is taking care of Lulu. I can have him talk to you about her if you like. I think it's better if we deal with the children that way."

He nodded. "All right. I appreciate your having Lesley Lu's doctor speak with me. Laura, despite what happened between us, we will always share this bond. We both love these two children. I'll do anything you want me to for Lesley Lu."

"I know how much you care about Nikolas and Lulu. Thank you, Stefan."

She turned to leave.

He looked after her for a moment then turned and looked down at Nikolas. She went to the door and stopped, looking back.

"Stefan?"

He looked up. "Yes?"

"I'm sorry things have to be this way."

He nodded sadly. "So am I."

She turned and left the room.

He took Nikolas' hand. "Nikolas, I have to go away for a short while but your mother, Barbara and Doctor Quartermaine will be here with you. I will be gone for no more than 24 hours and I will stay in constant touch with them about your condition. Sleep well, son." He kissed Nikolas' forehead and left.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Lulu opened her big blue eyes. "Mommy, where's Daddy?"

"He's not here honey but we're going to get in touch with him as soon as we can."

"But he was here a little while ago. I saw him. He was sitting right there by my bed. He touched my hand."

"No baby that was a dream. You need to rest now. Go back to sleep and you can dream some more of me and you and daddy having lots of fun."

"And Nikky?"

"Yes and Nikky."

"Okay Mommy. I love you."

"I love you too, baby."

Laura rubbed her daughter's damp hair.

"Bobbie she's still so feverish."

"I know but the fluids they're giving her should bring the fever down soon. It'll take a little more time."

"Nothing seems to be helping. Did Dr. Miller hear anything from the donor network?"

"Not yet but I'm sure they'll find someone, Laura. We can't give up hope." Bobbie put her hand on Laura's shoulder. "Why don't you lie down on the cot. You've been sitting up all night. You're going to be sick yourself if you don't get some rest."

"No, I can't. Besides, I'm not tired. Have you heard anything from Luke yet?"

Bobbie shook her head. "I called the number I got from the last place he stayed but they said he'd left a week ago. They didn't have any idea of where he'd gone."

"Did they think he would be coming back?"

"No. He took all of his things with him. They didn't expect him to return."

"We have to find him, Bobbie. Lesley Lu needs him. She keeps calling for him."

"I know, Laura. We all need him right now. I'm sure he'll be checking in soon and he'll be on the next plane home as soon as he finds out about Lulu."

Laura was angry. "We don't need him when he finds out. We need him now. Damn him, always going off on his adventures without leaving so much as a number or a name."

Bobbie was noticeably irritated at Laura's tone, instinctively wanting to defend her brother. "I know this is a terrible time for Luke to be gone, but he had no way of knowing Lulu would get sick again or that Nikolas would get too ill to help her. This isn't Luke's fault."

"I know it's not his fault. There's no way Luke could have forseen this, but he needs to be here with his daughter not galavanting around the world."

Bobbie sighed but agreed.

Laura rubbed her hand across the back of her neck. "Have you seen Stefan?"

"No. I haven't seen him since yesterday."

"What? You mean he isn't with Nikolas?"

"I thought you knew. Stefan left yesterday afternoon and hasn't returned."

"He left? Why? Where did he go? How could he have left Nikolas at a time like this?"

"Well apparently something urgent came up and he had to leave town. Monica said he called several times to ask about Nikolas. He left his cell phone number if they needed to reach him. I can get it for you if you want to call him."

"No, I have his number. But I can't understand what could be important enough for him to leave Nikolas when he's so ill."

She looked down at Lesley Lu. "Bobbie she's so pale. She's getting weaker. We can't lose her, Bobbie. We can't."

Bobbie put her arms around her. "We won't lose her Laura. We have to have faith."

Dr. Miller walked in quietly. "Mrs. Spencer?"

"Oh doctor, yes. Is there any news.?"

He smiled and took her hands. "I have wonderful news. I just received word. They've found a donor."

Laura rose quickly from her chair. "Are you sure?"

"Yes. I just got off the phone from a hospital in France. It seems they found a donor in Marseille."

Laura grabbed Bobbie's hand. "Are they sure? Are they really sure? Who was it?"

"I have no idea. No information was available about the donor. He or she wishes to remain anonymous."

Laura's face darkened. "Why? Are we sure we can trust the match?"

"Oh yes. Everything has been checked out thoroughly. I had the results faxed to me and examined them myself. I was astounded. The match was even better than with Nikolas. It was a near perfect match, almost unheard of in people who are unrelated. This isn't scientific, but it truly does seem like a miracle."

Laura hugged Bobbie, closing her eyes. "Thank God. Oh Bobbie, thank God." She looked at the doctor again. "How soon can the marrow be taken?"

"It's already been drawn and on its way via the Concorde. It should be here in a couple of hours. In the meantime we need to prep Lesley Lu for the procedure."

Bobbie squeezed her hand, smiling. "Laura we need to go outside while they get Lesley Lu ready."

"Okay." She turned toward the doctor once more before leaving. "Thank you, Dr. Miller. Thank you for everything."

"Oh please don't thank ME, Mrs. Spencer. We all need to thank the donor, whomever he or she is."

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
"Father?"

"I'm here, Nikolas."

"Why did you bring me back here?"

"Because this is your home and we are your family."

"He stared straight ahead. "I don't have a home or a family."

Stefan brushed a lock of hair from Nik's forehead. "You have your mother, your sister and I."

Nikolas found himself beginning to cry. "It's not a family because you're not my father. My father was a murderous dog who died like an animal trying to rape my mother. He's my family. He's what I come from."

"No. No he isn't. You have nothing whatsoever to do with him. You are no more a part of Stavros than I am a part of Helena . You are your own person, Nikolas, with your own heart and soul." He put his hand on Nik's face. "You are the finest person I have ever known. Don't you dare ever think anything different."

Nikolas raised himself up from his bed slowly and put his arms around Stefan. "I wanted you to be my father. I wanted it more than anything in the world."

Stefan's eyes filled with tears. "I AM your father and I always will be even when you decide you're sick of me and my interferring. I'm afraid you're stuck with me for life."

They both laughed.

Nikolas put his head on his father's shoulder and closed his eyes. "I'm sorry that I ran away like that. I'm sorry for what I put you through having to search for me. I just had to leave. I don't know why but I just had to do something to make it stop, make the pain go away. I know how much I worried you and Laura."

Stefan stroked his hair. "Don't you give that another thought, Nikolas. The most important thing is getting you well again. You need to rest and concentrate on that."

Nikolas lay down and closed his eyes. Stefan held his hand as he began to drift off.

"Please don't leave me, father."

"I won't, son. I'll never leave you."


~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Laura stood as Bobbie came into the waiting room, still wearing surgical greens.   "I just wanted to tell you that the procedure was a complete success. Lulu is being taken to pediatric ICU but it looks great so far."

Laura laughed and hugged her. "When can I go in to see her?"

"In a couple of hours. Oh and I got in touch with Luke. I told him about Lesley Lu. He said he would be here in the morning."

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
He looked at her sleeping so peacefully, a slight smile on her pink lips . "Well, my little angel, my little heart, you are looking so much better now, aren't you? The color is returning to those beautiful little cheeks. I told you everything would be all right. Sleep now, my darling. Daddy will always take care of you."

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Sitting in the hospital waiting room she drifted into welcomed sleep. Luke would be home in the morning. Everything would finally be all right, well almost everything. She shifted in her chair, still sleeping.

"Hi Mom."

She could see him there in front of her.

"Lucky!" She rose from her chair. He slowly moved away from her.

"No, don't go. Lucky, Lucky!"

"I have to, Mom. I can't stay. Tell Lulu goodbye for me."

"No please, Lucky let me help you. Just let me see you. Please Lucky, don't go."

He continued to move away from her more quickly now. She ran toward him trying to keep up.

"Lucky!"

Laura ran down the hospital corridors following him as he slipped away from her.

"Lucky, come back please!"

The hallways became dark suddenly. She didn't know which way to go.

"Lucky? Where are you? Lucky?"

A dim light shown in front of her far away in the distance. Laura moved toward it feeling her way along the walls of the dark hallway.

Finally the light shown right in front of her and in it stood a figure dressed in white, his back turned to her, his golden hair shining.

"Lucky." She smiled and touched his shoulder as he turned around. Then pulled back shocked.

"Stefan!"

She pulled away. "I can't be with you. I thought you were.... I told you. I can't be with you."

He moved toward her holding out his arms.

"It's all right Laura, I'm here. You're safe."

She turned away, looking down the halls. "No I can't. I can't do this."

Suddenly there was darkness around her. The light had disappeared. She was alone. There was the sound of gunfire and breaking glass. She fell to the ground, terrified screaming. "Lulu? Lucky? Are you all right? Luke, where are you? Luke? Someone help me, please. Luke?" She began to cry hysterically. "Why did you leave me?"

She pulled herself up, still crying, feeling her way along the black walls. She came to a crossroad in the hallway. The walls were gone. She had nothing to hold on to at all. In front of her was darkness. Behind her was the same. She felt as if she were floating alone helplessly in space. Then suddenly she felt his arms around her pulling her down into the darkness, pulling her closer and closer to him until their bodies were as one. She wrapped her arms around him tightly, holding on to him for dear life, terrified of letting go of him, even more terrified of holding on.

"I'll take care of you my darling, always."

She looked into his green eyes and smiled. He smiled back. She was safe there in the darkness with him. She was safe. She closed her eyes as he kissed her. "Stefan, I'm so glad you're here."

"Laura?"

She opened her eyes, startled to see him looking down at her.

"Stefan?" She stood up quickly. "What are you doing here? I thought I asked you to stay away from me?"

"You were calling out in your sleep."

She shook her head. "No, no, I wasn't. I didn't say anything. I...I thought we made an agreement not to see each other but it's obvious that you intend to break it whenever it suits you."

He became angry. "The only reason I am here is because of Nikolas as you well know."

"Looking after Nikolas doesn't explain your constantly coming to see me or Lesley Lu."

"Perhaps it would please you if I disappeared off the face of the earth, Laura, but unfortunately I can't oblige you at the moment."

"Don't you dare turn this around on me. I asked you specifically to keep your distance. But no, you're determined to sneak around and stalk me anyway."

"I'm sorry that my presence has become such a source of annoyance to you. But as long as my son is ill, I will be here for him whether that makes you uncomfortable or not."

"Nikolas is not your son. He's Stavros' son."

Stefan's eyes turned cold. Laura bit her lip, wanting to take the words back, knowing it was too late, realizing how deeply she had hurt him.

He came very close to her, his eyes hard like emeralds. "When you needed me, I was there for you. Whenever your family needed me, I was there. It's clear that you no longer require my presence in your life, so I will do as you ask and retreat. Perhaps the day will also come when Nikolas feels the same and he no longer needs or wants me with him. But until that day comes, I will be there for him whether he is my son or not."

"Stefan, I'm sorry. I didn't mean what I said."

He turned and walked away, refusing to look back, determined to appear unaffected by her words. He went again to Lesley Lu's room but this time couldn't bring himself to go in. Memories rushed back into his mind, so strong and painful he felt for a minute he might be sick. He closed his eyes and struggled to clear his head but the memories ruthlessly refused to let him go.

********************************

"Stefan."

"It's been 11 years, Lasha."

"I know."

"I can't imagine what would possess you to contact me. Is it Nikolas? Do you wish to see your son?"

"I want desperately to see him, you know that. But I can't right now, not with everything that's happening."

The anger rose in him quickly. "You haven't seen your son since he was 3 months old and you come to me with excuses not to see him?"

"I can't see him right now, as much as I want to."

"Then what is it you've come to ask of me?"

"I need your help. There is a man tormenting my family, a Mob Boss named Frank Smith. Luke worked for him a long time ago. I need you to use your influence to stop him. I'm asking for your protection for my family."

"You come to me on behalf of Luke, your murderous husband, the man who killed my father and my brother? You come to me caring nothing about seeing your son and expect me to save that miserable cretin? You delude yourself, Lasha. If anything I would help this mob boss affect his execution."

Laura's eyes blazed with anger. " I came to you because I thought you were different. You were never like the others. You had a heart, you understood but I guess all that's changed now, hasn't i?. You're no different from the others now, aren't you?"

"The others? There are no others, Lasha, save Helena, thanks to that animal you call a husband."

"Luke didn't kill Stavros or your father. You know that." Her voice softened. "I don't blame you for hating me. I deserve that. I know how much I hurt you and Nikolas but please Stefan...please. Help me save my child."

His voice was brittle and cold. "Yes, your son. Lucky."

"You know about Lucky?"

"Luke Jr.? Isn't that right? Your other son, the one you chose to stay and be a mother to?"

"Frank Smith will kill Lucky, Luke and I. I know you wouldn't let that happen. I know you wouldn't take your revenge out on a child."

"Do not lay this at my door, Lasha! I am not responsible for what becomes of you or your husband and his son. If his criminal associations will cost him and his son their lives, that is no concern of mine."

"And what about me? Is my life of no concern to you either? Is that what you'll tell Nikolas, that you let his mother die?"

He couldn't answer. He couldn't look at her.

She wiped her eyes. "Okay. You don't have to say anything more. You've made your position clear. I'm sorry to have troubled you. Please kiss Nikolas for me."

She started toward the door of his hotel suite, stopped and crumpled to the floor. Stefan ran to her, picking her up in his arms and laying her on the sofa.

"Lasha, Lasha!" He patted her hand, then her cheek. She began to come around. He placed a pillow under her head. "Shall I send for a physician?"

She sat up, groggy, holding her head. "No I'm alright, just tired."

He poured a glass of brandy and gave it to her. She took it from his hand and sipped it slowly.

"Lasha, I can't intervene with you and Luke. You and your son are HIS family, not mine. Even if I chose to, it isn't my place to interfere. How could Spencer have allowed this to happen to you?"

"It doesn't matter. Luke and I are over. I've left him. I can't live like this anymore. I can't live with him, running from place to place in fear of our lives, terrified that at any moment some hitman will break into my home and murder my child. I won't live like that. I won't raise my child like that."

Stefan sighed and shook his head. Try as he might, he couldn't help but be moved by her pain, her desperation. He held her hand in his, savoring the cool softness of her skin, remembering the days long ago when he reveled in her touch. Finally he nodded. "I will help you and your child. I will see to it that Smith is eliminated in such a way that Luke doesn't realize my involvement. Does he know anything about me or Nikolas?"

Laura looked down fingering her empty glass. "No. I haven't told him about you."

"Good. It is best he never know. He will believe that he has defeated Smith on his own. In the meantime you and your child will be under my protection." He hesitated, looking away. "And Luke as well."

Laura smiled. She put her arms around him and hugged him tightly. The clean sweet smell of his cologne made her smile. She closed her eyes feeling the softness of his hair against her face. He put his arms around her. For the first time in a long, long time she felt safe. For a moment she felt transported back in time. It was 12 years ago on the island when in his arms were the only place she could go for comfort, safety and sanity.

He put his hands on her face and looked into her eyes, happy to see some semblance of relief there, surprised at how good it made him feel. Unable to stop himself, he slowly put his lips against hers. She opened her mouth, inviting his tongue to enter. She closed her eyes, enjoying the sweet eroticism of his kisses as he laced his fingers in her hair. "Lasha you are so beautiful", he whispered

She leaned back, lying on the sofa as he eased down on top of her, his kisses becoming wetter, more urgent and uncontrolled. She unbuttoned his shirt, running her fingers up and down his chest, causing him to tremble as she touched him. He quickly unzipped the back of her dress, easing it down off of her shoulders as he ran his lips along her neck and down lower to her breasts. She shuddered at the feel of his lips across her skin, and clung to him, caressing the muscles in his back through the crisp fabric of his shirt. She removed it slowly, feeling her naked arms against his chest.

He unclasped her bra, letting her bare nipples tingle as he moved above her, grazing them lightly with the soft golden hair on his chest. The hypnotic smell of his cologne intoxicated her. She felt drugged, like she was blissfully falling under a spell.

He had removed all of her clothing now. She lay there in his arms completely exposed, feeling his taut bare body on top of her. It was like a dream, one she'd secretly had so many times over the years. She wanted nothing more than for him to make love to her. His tongue moved down slowly as he played with her, engulfing her breasts in the warm wetness of his mouth, then lower to her navel and lower still to the place he loved between her thighs.

Her body writhed and ached from the torrent of exquisite sensations, sensations she had long remembered from so many years ago. She dug her nails into his skin, gasping for air, feeling she would explode as he continued. He stopped and looked into her eyes wanting to know, needing to know before he went any further. Is this what she wanted? Was he what she wanted after all these years? She kissed him and guided him into her then closed her eyes and screamed as he exploded inside of her.

******

It was dawn. The rising sun peeked gingerly into the darkened room. She lay in his arms, her head on his chest, listening to the sound of his breathing, their bodies still unclothed, oblivious to the cool morning air. She loved him. She knew that. But she also knew she had made a terrible mistake. Stefan and Nikolas were a part of her life she could never reveal to anyone. Bringing them back into her world now, Luke's world, would only spell disaster for all of them. She looked at him sleeping and found herself smiling. He still looked so much like a little boy. What would it do to him to awaken and find her gone? She didn't want to hurt him again like this.

She rose from the sofa, lifting herself off of him carefully, trying not to disturb his sleep. She picked up her clothes from the floor. He grabbed her hand, pulling her down toward him. "Lasha, are you leaving?"

"Yes" she said nervously. "I need to get back and see about Lucky."

He rose with her. "All right. Here, let me help you with your things." He helped her pick up the rest of her clothes, then found his pants and put them on.

"I will see to it that you're taken safely to the airport. Frank Smith will no longer be a problem to you."

She kissed him. "Stefan, thank you. I can't tell you how grateful I am to you for doing this."

"He kissed the insides of her hands. I am happy I can help you, Lasha. Will you call me soon?"

She looked down quickly pretending to look for her shoes. "I, I don't know when I'll be in touch with you. I have to look after Lucky and settle things with Luke."

"Of course. I understand." He smiled. "I'll make arrangements for you to come to the island and see Nikolas. You can bring Lucky. The two of you are welcome to stay as long as you like. It will mean everything to Nikolas to finally meet you and his little brother."

She listened silently, unable to look at him. "Stefan..."

"Yes?"

"I... I. I have to go."

"Of course." He helped her with her coat and held her hand as they walked to the door.

"I'll call you as soon as I can." She kissed his cheek. "Please kiss Nikolas for me."

"I will."

She walked out of the door of his hotel room.

*************************************

Stefan looked at Lesley Lu sleeping in her hospital bed. That was the last he had seen or heard of Laura for the next four years. He'd enabled Luke to do away with Frank Smith, saved both her husband and her son, but Laura had never called or written, not a single word, not until Lulu had become ill and she'd needed Nikolas. He had been a fool then as he was now. Laura had only slept with him to get him to save Luke.

"How were either of us to know that you would be the result of that betrayal, my little cherub? What a strange and wonderful twist of fate you are."

He heard voices approaching the waiting room and quickly left. It was Laura holding Luke's hand, leading him into Lesley Lu's room.

"Hey princess."

Lulu opened her eyes and threw her tiny arms around Luke's neck.

"Daddy, you're back!"

"Why you're not looking sick at all now are you? Someone told me my little girl was sick but they must have been playing a trick on your old Dad because you are as bright and beautiful as a new penny."

She hugged Luke tightly. "Daddy, I'm so glad you're back."

Laura smiled, tears in her eyes. She was glad to have him back as well. For a moment she felt cold. She could sense his gaze on her. She turned quickly but no one was there. Still she knew. She knew that it was him, knew that presence standing somewhere in the darkness. He was there, as he always was and always would be. He was there in the deepest recesses of her soul.

Back To SNL FanFic Archive Page