Whichever Way The Wind May Blow
by Celia
Laura Spencer made her way through the park, wondering just how she had allowed Scott Baldwin to bully her into getting married again. Maybe she thought she needed to go all the way back to the very beginning to start her life over with a clean slate. Or, maybe she just wasn’t thinking. She had hoped that after she and Stefan Cassadine had worked so closely together to bring down Stefan’s brother, Stavros, that they might have worked their way back to each other, but Stefan still did not completely trust her. Not that she could blame him. She had stomped on his heart so many times in the past. The hardest part of it all was that she never meant to hurt him. She really had intended to return to the island, to Nikolas and to Stefan. It had taken her 20 years to utter the words he wanted to hear, that she loved him, but at the first sign that he might have done something she knew in her heart he would never do, she had turned on him. Her chin quivered slightly. Why had she done that? Did she have a prejudice against his name, just like everyone else? But that was absurd. She knew the man behind the name he had been born to but did not ever accept as a part of himself.
The gathered guests looked at the frowning bride and wondered what she was thinking as she made her way to her waiting groom. She looked more preoccupied than joyous. And she hadn’t looked at Scott once. Instead, her gaze swept across the invited guests, settling on the one person she had not expected to attend her wedding, although she had mailed his invitation. Her step faltered briefly, only noticed by him, her blue eyes staring deeply into his wary, green ones. ‘Please tell me I should stop this,’ her eyes begged of him. Instead, he looked away. She had no choice but to continue and take her place beside Scott.
Stefan found himself studying his shoes. He didn’t know why he had come to watch Laura marry another man. When he had received the invitation, he didn’t know what she expected of him. He wanted her to find happiness, but Scott Baldwin would not bring her what she sought. Could any man? Why had she looked at him that way? He well remembered that pleading look in her eyes from long ago, the night they had met in the wild garden on that accursed island. Why had he not followed his first instincts when he had opened the wedding invitation and gone to her, professed his still undying love, promised her the moon and the stars if she would only give him the chance to win back her love? No, not her love. He knew that Laura still loved him on some level. It was her trust that he craved. If she trusted him, she would have come to him after the nasty business with Stavros had been settled. Maybe she hadn’t because she sensed that he, himself, did not completely trust her. Listening as the justice of the peace began the wedding ceremony, all he felt was emptiness and a crushing loneliness in his heart. He wanted to shout to the gods that this madness should end, that Laura belonged with him, that they belonged together. With a grimace, he sat in the chair when the gathering was instructed to do so. In a few moments, Laura would, once again, be out of his reach. It was for the best. He just could not bring himself to risk his battered heart again. He could not bring himself to speak out then, he could not bring himself to utter the words to stop this now, no matter what he had just seen in her eyes. His attention wandered away from the ceremony being held as he searched his mind for the proper words of best wishes to give to her before he walked out of her life forever. No matter what, he would not tell her he was leaving Port Charles tonight.
“Do you, Laura, take Scott to be your lawful wedded husband, to have and to hold from this day forward?,” the justice of the peace asked.
Laura hesitated for a moment, hoping that Stefan would step forward and whisk her away from making another mistake in her life. She closed her eyes in relief when she heard someone shout, “Stop this!” Her sense of being saved from the executioner was so great, it was a few seconds before she realized the voice did not belong to Stefan, but to Luke.
“No, you don’t, Spencer!,” Scott shouted. “You’re not going to mess up my life with Laura again!”
Stefan’s head snapped up just in time to see Luke launch himself at Scott, the momentum carrying both men down to grapple with each other on the grass. Fists were flying and everyone jumped to their feet to rush forward to pull the combatants apart. Stefan stayed rooted to his spot.
So did Laura. She could have joined in the fray to break up the fight, but she really had no desire to do so. Let Luke and Scott bash each others brains out. Suddenly, she just didn’t care. She felt a presence and looked up to see Stefan beside her.
He glanced at her for a brief moment, his expression unreadable, before they both turned their attention back to the rather nasty fist fight. It was Stefan who broke the silence between them. Very softly, he whispered, “Why do you insist on playing with boys?”
“Damned if I know,” she muttered in exasperation. She tossed her bouquet on the ground. “I think I will be long gone before anyone notices. May I catch a ride with you?”
Stefan grinned at her. “Where would you like to go?”
“The airport to catch the first flight to anywhere.”
He nodded. “What about Lesley Lu?”
“Mother was planning to stay with her anyway. I’ll just call and leave a message on the answering machine, if I may borrow your phone.”
Stefan held his arm out to usher her away from the park and to his car.
***
Aruba had been a delight. Laura had enjoyed the opportunity to relax. Stefan had booked them a large suite with two bedrooms and had been the perfect gentleman, giving her the space and time to come to terms with ditching Scott at the altar.
Little did Laura know, he had paced the floor in his room every night, in turmoil with his feelings for her. He could not allow himself to fall in love with her again. He could not risk his heart again. But, every morning when he looked at her across the breakfast table, his heart would constrict in his chest. He wanted her. He wanted to spend every morning for the rest of his life, looking at her sitting across the table from him. Maybe, he had thought late last night, if he admitted it to himself, he would be able to control these feelings. But, no. Here she was again and he had to harden his heart for another day. They had been here for two weeks and each day had been harder than the day before. Damn it all, he loved her! He just could never let her know. He could never give her that sort of power over him again. His heart would never survive another onslaught. Still, when she wasn’t looking, he would watch her so he could remember. She was sitting across from him, addressing postcards.
She leaned back and looked at the cards she had just finished filling out and grinned. “Is this too mean?,” she asked sliding the cards across the table for him to read.
Donning his reading glasses, Stefan picked up the two cards. One was addressed to Luke, the other to Scott, but the message to each was the same. He read the message aloud. “This has been the best honeymoon ever! Thanks! Affectionately, Laura.” He dropped the post cards back onto the table. “Do I feel this message is too mean? No. They each deserve far worse.”
“Yes, but they may get the impression we have been sleeping together.”
“Do you care?”
Laura frowned slightly. “No, not really.”
“You must live with your own conscience. Personally, I would love to see their expressions when they read it, but they will both be in foul humor when we return.”
“Are we in a hurry to return?”
“No. We may stay as long as you wish.” He frowned slightly. He could have told her he needed to return and left her to enjoy another few weeks on her own and escaped this torture. Being near her was agony, but he knew that leaving her behind would be far worse.
“Another few weeks and things should be settled down at home. Do you mind?”
“Of course not,” he replied, hoping his tone was not as tense as his gut.
***
The next two weeks passed peaceably but the tension was getting to Stefan. His head ached constantly and his appetite had been negligible. Glancing at Laura sleeping beside him in the first class seat, he shook his head. She looked tanned and rested and ready to take on the world. He, on the other hand, was a nervous wreck. He was going to miss spending every day with her. Wyndemere was going to be a lonely place. Still, he refused to tell her what he wanted to say, that he loved her. The past month had made him face reality. Once he had told Laura that when he loved, he loved forever. It was true. He would love her until the day he died. But he could never admit it to her. With a heavy sigh, he hardened his heart, adding another brick to the wall. Once he had escorted Laura home, he would be returning to his life and she would be returning to hers.
***
Elton bustled into Laura’s office at Deception a week later. “Honey, you look like hell,” he observed, placing a cup of tea before her. “Rough night?”
Laura smiled weakly. “You might say that.”
Elton pulled the chair closer to the desk. “Well? Tell me all about it, girl.”
“Scott came by the house last night. He kept yelling at me about how I had humiliated him in front of the whole town again.”
“So, what did you tell him?”
“That what we had was over. I just couldn’t go back. I need to move forward. I returned his engagement ring.”
“And then cried your eyes out. No wonder you are looking so tired.”
“That’s not the end of the story, Elton. Luke came by after Scott had left.”
“You just had them coming in droves.”
“Luke wanted to know if I had spent my “honeymoon” in Stefan’s bed. I told him it was none of his business. That we were finished. I had divorced him and I intended to stay divorced from him.”
“Did you? Spend time in Stefan’s bed, I mean?”
“That’s none of your business either, Elton, but no. Stefan was the perfect gentleman while we were on vacation.”
“Did you want him to be a bad boy?”
Laura sighed. “Not really. I needed some time to get my head together so I could face Scott and Luke. Making love with Stefan would have complicated matters. Still.....”
Elton waited for a full minute while Laura was lost in thought. “Still?,” he finally prompted.
Laura ignored the pointed request for more information. She wasn’t about to tell Elton that she was still in love with Stefan.
“So, have you had a good cry yet?”
“No. I never shed a tear.”
“Well, something is bothering you.”
“What is bothering me is that I have a ton of work to do. With no men in my life, I have decided to expend my energies on my company. I think both of us need to get busy,” she raised her eyebrow at him.
Elton had the good sense to leap to his feet. “You’re right. I have a ton of paperwork to do. Buzz me if you need anything.”
“I will,” she replied, glancing down at the report she had been reading for the last ten minutes and had no idea where she had left off. When Elton closed the door behind him, she slumped forward and held her head in her hands.
She was tired because every night since they had returned to Port Charles, Laura had done nothing but toss and turn. Whenever she would start to drift off to sleep, this feeling of loneliness would wash over her. It wasn’t Scott that she missed and it sure wasn’t Luke. It was Stefan not being in the next room, somewhere near so that she could call for him at a moment’s notice. She missed seeing him over breakfast, she missed talking to him while they walked on the beach at night. Last night had been the worst. She kept dreaming about making love with him. She would wake up and then wonder why he had not made any attempt to bed her while they had been in Aruba. He still cared for her, she knew it. If this didn’t stop soon, she would collapse from exhaustion. Maybe it was time for her to make a move, to get off her rump and go after what she wanted. She wanted Stefan and she was going to do whatever she could to win him back. Pride goeth before a fall and she was falling, all right. Falling in love with Stefan Cassadine again. Not that it mattered. Stefan had done his best to avoid her ever since they had returned.
***
Laura walked down the hallway to Stefan’s office at Wyndemere late that night. She had to see him. The door was open and she stood for several minutes, watching him working at his desk. He looked like he was having as much trouble concentrating on his work as she had for the past two weeks. Was he having the same thoughts about her that she had been having about him?
In frustration, Stefan took off his glasses and dropped them on the desk, reaching up to rub his tired eyes. He had not slept worth a damn since he and Laura had returned and he was exhausted. He couldn’t concentrate on anything, the vision of her lovely face kept floating around the edges of his mind. “Laura,” he whispered, slumping back in his chair while he rubbed his eyes, which felt like sandpaper.
It was the opening Laura was waiting for, having been unsure what she was going to say to him. “It’s very late, Stefan. Come to bed,” she replied softly.
His head snapped up and he stared at her, unsure for a moment if she had been conjured by his tortured thoughts. He frowned at her. “I shall not be another rebound relationship for you, Laura. I.....I,” he stumbled over the words, struggling with the idea of risking his heart once again.
His hesitation told Laura everything she needed to know. He had already given his heart to her, he just refused to admit it. “Can’t we do it just for the fun of it?,” she asked, knowing his answer will tell her more than he realized.
He shot to his feet, glared at her and growled out between clenched teeth, “No.”
She walked across the room to stand on the other side of the desk from him. It was now or never. She had to tell him the truth. “I love you, Stefan. I tried to let anything and anyone come between us, but it is no use. I love you. There is nothing more I can say.”
“And how long shall your love last this time?,” he snarled at her, dropping back into his chair, unable to look into her eyes and see the truth.
“Forever,” she whispered. “Starting with now and going forward for eternity.”
He winced slightly from the blow his heart took at her words. He wanted to believe her. His heart was melting at the sight of her. He wanted nothing more than to take her upstairs to his suite and make love to her all night. One night might ease the ache in his loins, but it would never ease the emptiness in his heart. Only finding her in his bed every morning would fill that void.
Laura watched the turmoil playing in the depths of his green eyes. Anyone else might have been fooled, but not her. She knew him too well. Now was the time to strike. She thought by trying to lure him to bed, she might be able to soften his heart. Instead, she knew that his heart needed a frontal assault. Walking around the desk, she dropped to her knees beside his chair. Taking his hand in hers, she looked up at him. “I am on my knees before you, Stefan. I give myself to you to do with as you please. You have every right to use me, to break my heart and cast me aside. I would deserve it after the way I have treated you. But, even so, I do not think you have the hardness inside of you to cast away the opportunity I offer to you.” She stared deeply into his eyes to make sure she had his undivided attention. “I give you my love. I give you my trust. I give you my heart and my soul and, if you want it, I give you my body.”
Stefan looked at her. The memory of the pain she had caused him in the past was raw and bleeding, reopened by her assault on his heart. He rose to his feet and pulled her up with him. Staring down at her, mere inches separating them, he growled, “You are poison to me. I know what you are capable of doing to me. I cannot mourn you or the loss of your love again.”
“What will convince you that I am sincere?”
That was not the response he was expecting. Actually, he wasn’t sure what he expected from her. “I do not know. I only know that you should leave.” He settled back in his chair, slipped his glasses back on his nose and attempted to ignore her even though she was standing so close he could feel the heat from her body.
Laura stood there for a few moments before she understood what was happening. She was being dismissed, but not because he did not want her. He was sending her away because he was absolutely terrified. She smiled to herself. He still loved her. She knew that. Now, she just had to make him admit it. She leaned down to place a light kiss on his cheek. “Have it your way, Stefan,” she whispered. “But this is only the beginning.” Gracefully, she turned and left Spoon Island. She needed to plan her next assault. She needed to do something even more blatant than to offer to take him to bed to convince him of her love.
***
Two days later, Stefan settled on the sofa in his study to have his morning tea and peruse the Port Charles Herald. He had just settled his tea cup back on the saucer when he turned the page of the paper to the middle of the first section and choked on the tea he swallowed. There was a two page ad that read, “I, Laura Spencer, being of sound mind and body and very much in love, do hereby ask Stefan Cassadine to marry me.” He stared at the ad in total disbelief. At least, the ad was only in big, bold words. There were no silly cupids or hearts around the border. That was when the phone started to ring. He had to get to Laura and settle this matter before everyone in Port Charles started hounding him for his answer. How could she humiliate herself like this?
Stepping off the launch onto the dock, Stefan was surprised to see Laura sitting at a table set on the docks, a violinist playing softly in the background. He had spent the trip across the harbor, staring at the newspaper he still clutched in his hand.
Laura glanced at her watch. “What took you so long?”
He stormed across the dock and slapped the paper down on the table before her. “Why did you do this?,” he demanded.
She poured him a cup of tea and motioned for him to sit in the chair across from her. “I love you. I thought I had established that fact the other evening.”
Settling into the chair, he casually draped the linen napkin across his lap and grumbled, “You are the most frustrating woman I have ever known.”
“But you love me.”
“You make me want things I can never have.”
“But you love me.”
“You make me so angry, I could cheerfully strangle you with my bare hands.”
“But you love me.”
“I cannot do this again, Laura,” he looked at her, his eyes pleading for mercy.
“But you love me,” she whispered again, reaching out to stroke her fingers down his cheek.
“But I love you,” he rasped at her gentle touch. “God help me. I love you.”
Laura’s 1000-watt smile washed over him. “Then kiss me, tell me that you will marry me and take me home.”
He sat there for a moment, looking into her eyes. She wanted him to marry her. It was the only thing he had ever craved for in his life, to have Laura as his bride. They had danced around this moment for years, but in the past, it had always been he who had broached the subject of marriage. Before, it had always been a private matter between them alone, but with the ad, the whole town was in on it. His heart was pounding in his chest. Closing his eyes, he bowed his head for a moment so he could think. Losing her again would kill him, but he had to take the chance. Looking up at her, he leaned forward and gave her one of his most tender kisses. “Yes, Laura, I will marry you,” he whispered against her lips. He rose to his feet and offered her his hand to escort her home.
She stood up and, much to his surprise, headed for the launch. She had taken a few steps when she realized he had not moved. “Take me home, Stefan. Take me to Wyndemere and the beginning of our life together.”
“No. I will not take you to my bed until we are properly wed. This time, we shall do things in the proper order,” he replied.
“You are the most frustrating man,” she grumbled.
With a grin, he responded, “But you love me.”
“Yes, I do,” she laughed, launching herself into his arms where she belonged.
Back To SNL FanFic Archive Page