1/29/02


_____What a bunch of bullshit how can I be sent to pay for the fucked up things people have done to me? I refuse to let my self or any one around me becomes a victim to any man or woman on this planet. I protect my self, the people around me and what happens? Now as many people said,
"Oh Avery dearest it’s not your fault, just let it all go and forget about it all."
____Yea I’m going to go ahead and forget about it, hmmm well fuck that! I’m not one to sit there, stuff it all down and go on with life until some prick sends me off to a shrink and it comes up and I break down and kill my self because of all the pain.
____No! If I can deal with it now, God damn it I will! So what? If you don’t like the way I deal with my self, then fuck you and all those that think the same. _____Or would you rather have it happen when my boy friend gets pissed off at me cause I won’t fuck him because I was raped and I never told him. My boy friend then rapes me like the guy before and I spend half my life in rehab! Oooooo yea that’s how I want to spend my life! Kicked out of my house! Yep in and out of drugs and boos getting 25 cents for giving some queer fuck a blowjob. I then take that 25 cents and all the other money I have made that night (a grand total of 50$) and buy a hotel room and a box of condoms I save about 10$ each night so I may by my birth control for that month. I find some cute guy on the street to keep my company in the night and in the morning there is a 20$ bill on the table and a thank you card on the bed. I then walk down to the coffee shop and find some of my "friends" from the other night……and well. How about this for an answer…………FUCK NO!

I may be a fucked up teenager but I wont be that forever, every second I live I creep that much closer to death. So I’m going to live my life to the fullest!