2/16/02


My breath of life
My soles edge
My time is short upon this Earth
And I embrace it

I often think of things
That are unexplainable
I will think of those things
And will hold them close

I often do stupid things
But then we all do
But why should I pay for being human?
When my time is short?

I often cry in pain
I try to hide it
But why should the young?
Endure this living hell?

I often lie in bed
And listen to the rain
As it cleans the earth
It puts my mind in peace

I often feel that time
Is eating me alive
But that’s not the only thing
For emotions do the same

I often feel trapped
Like an animal in a cage
But the bars are made of fear
And the chains made of hate

I often rage in confusion
And tare at my own skin
Wishing I could die
And then be born again

I often love
And never want to go
But time eats love away
Or dose it keep it safe?

I often listen to the heart beat
Of the one hold close
As it beats with the music
And with my own as well

I often go through change
And it pains me deeply
But for something to grow
Something must die

I often smile
When I’m feeling sad
I also frown
When I’m felling joy

I often feel power
Flowing through my blood
I have the power
But not the control

I often caress my skin
And lust for the pain to cease
And wish for pleasure to flow
At my own virgin hands

I often look at the stars
And wonder what I’m doing hear?
And a voice answers
"You will know soon enough"

I often wish to sleep
Under the shade of a red wood tree
And feel the wind in my hair
To feel my heart beating free

I often stare at the Sun
Until my eyes fill with tears
And then I walk away
Blinded from my pain

I often touch
The skin of another being
Male of female
There is no difference to me

I often joke
"things never have been the same
sense that house
fell on my sister"

I often read
Hours on end
And then I stop
And wonder how beauty is made?

I often think of people
As horrible monsters
But they are as complex
And beautiful as I am

I often sit by the fire
Let its vibrant heat
Sooth my mind and body
Wile I sing to the sky

I often feel
That no one understands
The trouble I think about
But then I’m not the only one

I often wish to be unseen
By the world around me
I think that they may hurt me
But this is my home?

I often feel that I am covered
In a dark shadow
That is made by
The one I stand with

I often like to sleep in
On a Sunday morning
But then my brother turns on the games
And I can t sleep any more

I often clutch my chest
For all the beauty
In the world
Feels heavy and full of passion

I often feel incredulous
To the things people do
Their wily ways
May bring war and no peace

I often say "when the world is ablaze
And you cant run to hell
I will bask in the warmth for this world
Is damn cold."

I often sing songs
Older than my self
And far beyond my
Greatest ambitions

I often sit in
Suffocating darkness
And wish for light
But it will never come

I often wonder
Why the world is full of tears?
And why I sit and add
To the ever-growing river of sorrow?

I often want to kill
For the pain people throw out
And thirst for blood
Of good people

I often am alone
If I want to or not
And as I sit alone
I am peaceful in my thoughts

I often wish to stand
In the rain
Clad only to the sky
And feel free and joyful

I often look at the moon
Bask in its beauty
Hold its light
Until the morning sun

I often feel
That I’m the only sane person
In this world of "norm’
But normal people scare me

I often hate myself
For the stupid things I do
And then I forget
And I move on to the next hell-hole

I often wish I could stop time
So I could fix
Things and people
But we all know you can’t "fix" anything

I often sit hear and write
Wile I cry
Scream
Wish
Lust
Hold
Hate
And wish to kill
For the insanity to end