2/19/02


What the hell is going on with me? I feel as if one second I’m over taken by all the beauty in the world, the music the things people say and think. Then I’m horror struck from the things that people do to each other. I feel that I’m the only sane person on this fucked up planet. There are a few lucky soles out there that feel like I do but finding them is a bitch. I try to think that some day I will be out of suburban craziness, and I will live in a hut in the Out Back, something like that. There I will live until I die making love to one of locals, who I find to be ‘the one," and I will write my book.

It’s funny I feel like the hobbit, all he wanted to do was see the mountains and find a quiet place to write his book.

I love the people here and the way people are, but sometimes I feel like all they do is feed off me like parasitic monsters, with masks of Brittany Spears, with T-shirts that say "Spear Brittany" on them. I cant do any thing about it so I just deal with it and act as I always do… unhappy… no I cant say that….I’m happy a lot and in the past few days I have been even happier. But still there is that nagging feeling in my chest that tells me that things are not right, and when its gone I will have found me place in life.