I Hate the Night

Day I can deal with. Day takes all
of my flaws and hides them in gold
light. Day I'm fine with. I can
handle seeing glimpses, there are
always people to distract me and
so many things to do in the
daytime. It's night that gets me.
I hate the night like most people
hate spiders. Shivery fear that
creeps up my back and grabs my
stomach hard. Night means loneliness.
Night is the time when all of my own
inadequacies close in and strangle me.
Night is when I realise how completely
alone I am, a star in a sea of other
stars. Indistinguishable and imperfect.
Fuck, I hate the night. I count down
hours until darkness falls and I live in
miserable loneliness again. If I had a
watch I might set it, know the exact
seconds until the fear and the pain came
back. I hate the night.

~

...return...