The Christmas Special
By Care
Cloud: ~looks at the house they just left 1 minute ago~................
A giant blue panda: MEERRRRYYYYY CCCHHHRRRIIIISSSTTTMMMMASSSS!!!!!
Shiva: AHHHH!!! WHAT THE FUC-- oh, hi.
False Seft: ~pulls out a calander~ eh whadda you know, panda ain't on crack. todays christmas eve!
Shiva: i KNEW that!
Seft: ~blinks~ elven.
Care: SEFFTTTTYYYY POOOO!!!!
Ifrit: ~mocks care~
Carolers: Jingle bells, jingle bells, jingle all the way...
Tifa: ~just got multipul meanings to thast song~
FD: ~shoves a korn cd down each of their throats~ BA HUMBUG!!!
Sephiroth: hee hee..... you said BAA!!! YOUR A LAMMBBB!!! ~gets down on all fours and starts to jump around merily~
False Seft: RIIIiiiiiggghhhhttttt.....
Care: NEways, we gotta throw a x-mas bash you half asses!
FD: ~head is somewhere in tifa's chest~ I'LL GET THE MISTLETOE!
Tifa: ~SIGH~
Quistis: i'll bring ice cream.
(other ppl list things that they will bring)
Care: THEN IT'S AGREED! we will meet at my house at 3:00 and leave once no one can say the alphabet backwards or walk in a straight line!!!
Cloud: is it a bad thing that i can't do any of those things right now?
Sephiroth: ~pulls out his sword~ hee hee.... i just like to do that.
**Author: anyone who still respects me stop reading now**
Tifa: PEEEENNNIIIISSS!!!!!
Care: SIGH!!! okay then, until 3 we will... FLY AWAY!
Bahumat: and i will save the princess ~short nod~
******************* 3:00 ************************
Care: ~puts out the last bit of wine~
Seft: ~scoff~ elven el-elven....
Care: shut up seft.
(doorbell rings)
Care: eh look, ppl.
FD: ~brings in a spanish speaking dog~ ^_^ i was bored
Care: welcome.
FD: are their any drunk women here yet?
Seft: ~points at Squall~
Squall: ~small girlish smile~~waves politely~
Zell: ............... NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!! ~tries to pull a knife out of the turkey and stab himself~
Care: BAD ZELL!!!!! ~takes the knife~
FD: ~sees quistis~
Quistis: ~adjusts her skirt AND her glasses~
Squall: ~adjusts her erch it's bra~
**SHUDDER**
**Author: why do i write? i WANT TO KNOW WHY I WRITE!!!! my stories are so queer..... not as queer as squall, but queer**
Eden: i want to bath in a giant bowl of spagetti!!!!!!!!
(doorbell rings again)
FD: AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!
Sam: erch.... was it something i said?
Amber: must... get.... more... books.....
Care: we've never had real humans attend our events before.... ~pulls out a knife~
Bill Clinton: we've had inflatable ones....
Hiei: AHHHHH!!!! What the hell is up with your brain!!!???!!
FD: i know why you wanna hate me.
Missy: ~sees seft~ OOOhhhh!!! he's so cute!!!!
Care: ~evil growl~ ~pulls seft over by her~
Seft: elven?
Missy: hmmmmm... (thinking: just wait til you get drunk.... MMMMuuuuUUUUuuuuHHHHHAhhahahahahhahaa!!!!)
**Author: she has screwy thoughts, what can i say?**
Squall: ~puts all the presents under a christmas tree~ ~clears throat~
FD: ~shuves eggnog down squalls throat~ no speeches.... ~runs over to the humans~ you look.............. weird.
Amber: ~eye twitches~ book? where's a BOOOKKKK???!?!! MUUUSSTTT HHHHAVVEEEE MMMOOOORRREEE BBOOOKKKSSS!!!!!!! ~picks up diablo and starts to shake him violently~
Siren: ~puts on a santa costume~ why do i get stuck with the pathetic jobs?!?
(doorbell rings again)
Care: hiii!!!!!
Cloud: sorry we're late, i had to screw tifa and save the world so i was kinda rushed....
Tifa: ~puts on a towel~ ^_^ sephiroth ate my clothes
FD: i have a pet DOGGY!!!!!
CAre: ~stands up on a table and starts to scream something but no one really knows what~
Hiei: TURN UP THE MUSIC... NICE AND LOUD! this is the case of the danc--
Care: no you turn DOWN the music! THANK you! NOW THEN! it's time to open our presents :)
Siren: ~kicks drunk men~ hee hee.... ~distant evil laughter~
(Straken, Destyle and Nighthawk burst through the door)
(silence)
FD: ~turns the music back on~ BUNCHA BITCHES!!!!!
Straken: ~walks over by squall~ .... you look nice
Squall: i told you we were over strake. don't talk to me.
Quistis: ~is greatly disturbed by the fact that squall wore his nicest.... gown to this party~
Seft: ~finds his present~ elllllllvvvv... ~shakes it~ ~clattering~ ELVEN!!!! ~finds a translator~ ELVEN ELVEN ELVEN!!! Translation: i don't want one of these who the fuck bought this?!?
Care: ~kicks the machine~ now your ruining all the fun!
Seft: ~whispers something under his breathe~ TRANSLATION:--
Seft: ELV!
TRANSLATION: fuck you bitch...... NO!!!!
Care: who had seft?
Diablo: me. i found that in the devil closet... he said i could have it if i would kill some guy named glenn zipperer..... ~shrug~
Siren: my turn. ~opens her present~ a shirt?
Quistis: ~smile~ just a suggestion dear.
Shiva: ~opens her present~ oh look..... a mime.
Zell: ~opens his present~ NOOOOOOOOOOooooooo!!!! ~kills himself~
Clown: what?
Care: ~evil chuckle~
AD: COOL CIGERETTES!!!! be RIIIIIIIIIIiiiiiiiiiigghhhtt back!
Squall: i got this really nice new lipstick color.... it's a mix between light burganery and--
FD: SHUT THE FUCK UP!!!!
**Author: whadda you say, should we get rid of gay men?**
Mulan: i am a MANNNN!
Limp bizkit: did we miss something?!?!
Care: ~abducts limp bizkit~ eh, sam? do you mind if i hide them in your closet???
Sam: ....... as long as you don't see ANY CRACK okay?
Amber: BOOOKKKKKK!!!!!! ~reads it~ that was short....
Hiei: THE FUCK!!! it was 4006 pgs long!!!!! it was the longest book in canada!!!!
Amber: i didn't like it....
Quistis: ~cracks her new whip~
Ifrit: ~eats all of his breath mints~
Seft: ~drank too much egg nog~
Siren: ~eats a box of candy canes~
AD: ~hides her cigerettes in hedr pocket~
Ajala: CARE!!!! did you give AD more cigerettes?!?
Destyle: i want to hump a kiwi ajala
AJala: WHY THE HELL DID I HAVE 6 FUCKING KIDS WITH YOU!!?????!!??!?!?!
**Author: so what? i kind of am dropping a hint towards ajala**
Brandon: ~is gay~
Hiei: ~puts on his new hat~ i am BATMAN!!
Carbuncle: ~puts on his cape~ WHHHHHHHHHHEEEEEE!!!!
(the music is blaring by now and everyone is dancing on tables and drinking egg nog, eating candy canes, and smoking pot)
(doorbell rings)
Care: ...
(scilence)
(everyone jumps in a giant closet)
Caer: ~gets the door~
MIB: we have heard of you protecting illegal aliens.
Pigs: WHAT!!!! bad author call us cops or we won't arrest pplss!!!!
**Author: FINE**
Cops aka Pigs: ~SIGH~ we have some shit bout you smoking pot
Care: ~nervous chuckle~
Destyle: i hump kiwis.
(closet gives out)
ALL: FUCK!!!
**we wish you a merry christmas!!!! all that happens is them getting arrested and you know, usual stuff ^_^ well, i'd love to chat with you more but i have to get ready to go open presents.... plus i am being chased by 20 cops for illegal usuage of advil...... oh well**