"If it helps you work harder, think of this place as a chicken hut."
"If work is too stressful, here are the keys to the roof. Please use the other side of the building so you don't disturb the other employees as you fall."
"We had a smart guy here once, but he was no good."
"Most of the really important work gets done after 3:00 in the morning."
"We try to get the most out of co-ops before they expire."
"There once was a guy called green man. He was a professor at MIT but was afraid of water. He never took a bath and he got kicked out of his apartment. They let him stay at the university all the time and he went on to invent a great operating system and become one of the best CS guys in the world." (on why leaving to go home and get a shower isn't a valid excuse)
"Christmas is no excuse to go home and see your family."
"I am very disappointed in you, you will be punished. From now on I will send you home every night at 6:00."
"Must Work Harder"
Bonus Quote:
"You are hot water; she is cold water. Together, you make luke-warm water." (on why employees shouldn't interact)