DISCLAIMERS:
Most of the characters belong to the TexasPup List, OK all of them. This
story was written strictly for outrageous laughter, or reading when you are
very bored.
Sex: Hey what can I say, When you have sex goddesses like <insert name(s)
here_____________________>, you will automatically get an XXX rating.
Feedback: I'm a lover, not a writer. So if you find a misspelled word,
poor grammar or punctuation, stick it up your nose cause I don't want to
hear about it. This is my second attempt at fanfic writing, so deal with
it. Of course I know there are those that will just need to send their
little comments, so please send to upyour@butt.com.
Warning: My memory is blurred on a few things, so if I miss something feel
free to jump right in.
THE AUSTIN STORY
Part 1
Amanda backed into her lover with hunka, hunka burning love. Lex feeling
the heat, reached out a cupped Amanda's ....damn wrong story. Sorry Carrie.
:o)
September 1, 2000, was a day that will live in infirmary(?), or something
like that. Road blocks were set up all around Austin, Texas, USA. The Pups
were on their way!
I arrived at the destination approximately 8:30 p.m. Gina did a real good
job making this meeting place look like a real hotel. The magic passwords
were "What are you wearing" as I kept in touch with the Tulsa/Dallas pups.
I finished packing and went down in the lobby to wait for Gina, MA, Wendy,
and Shery. After they were settled, we had our first important
mission.....find some place to eat.
After the three little pigs, Gina, Wendy, and Shery, finished their 'Death
by Chocolate' we headed back to headquarters. For easy reference, let's
call it "The Clarion Hotel". OK? Having a long day, we all turned in. To
my surprise, my partner in crime, Amy, had arrived. <gee that rhymes>
Had
a hard time going to sleep, because Amy must have been dreaming. She would
holler out "I object your honor" and "No, please no more lawyer jokes". The
morning would come to soon.
to be continued..............
DISCLAIMERS:
All of these characters, and believe me they all are characters, belong to
the TexasPup List. We are fans of Xena Warrior Princess, we lust after Xena
& Gab. Ok, some lust after Joxer, sorry no names will be mentioned, Wendy.
Sex: Carrie says it's like riding a bicycle. Mine still has training
wheels.
Feedback: Hmmm? I ain't no writer, I like riding bicycles. The ones with
big wheels, well formed seats, and definitely firm handle bars. YEE HAW! As
I have said before, if you just feel the need to send comments, the addy is
debtango@whipit.com.
THE AUSTIN STORY
Part II
It was Saturday morning. Mary Ann woke with a jerk. The meeting was to
take place at 11:00 a.m. As I entered the hotel lobby, I could hear Dina
smashing the clerk up against the wall. All I heard was something about the
room rate, and not able to get the Disney Channel. As I looked towards the
main door I saw them. LindaC, Salina, and Jerri aka "The Three Amigos".
LindaN and Laurie arrived, then Becky, Drew and Cami. The plan was coming
together.
Then all of a sudden we all heard fingers snapping........then
singing........in walked Gina, Shery, and Wendy.
GINA:
"There was a time,
when they use to say.
That behind every great man,
there had to be a great woman."
SHERY:
"But in these times of change
you know it's no longer true
So we are coming out of the kitchen, <Wendy on pots and pans>
Cause there's something we forgot to say to you."
"Sisters are doing it for themselves
standing on their on two feet
ringing on their own bells."
STOP!!!!
We have a mission....the Natural Bridge Caverns, let's go!
Before we made the treacherous journey, our tummies need to be filled with
nourishment. We over took a couple of tables at the Grist Mill in New
Braunfels. Our orders were placed, as Drew went around taking mug shots.
As the food was being brought out, we saw them......."tators"! Big tators!
OMG I have never seen tators so huge. We shared tators, we talked tators,
we laughed tators, we did funny things with tators. Ok, you had to been
there.
With the faint sounds of belching and burping, we mounted up (don't even
think about it) and headed out. The caverns.......let me think......being
it was 108 degrees outside, we felt the hole, in the ground, (all right quit
you guys!) would sooth our sweaty, stinking bodies. But Noooooooooo! Oh
yes it was a nice 70 degrees with 99% HUMIDITY!!! We started our journey
into the unknown. Every now and then you would feel something drip on your
head. Was it the caverns crying, or the restrooms up on top? Ewwwww! Our
knees grew weak, our breathing very shallow, how long have we been in this
hell hole........looked at my watch....2 minutes. OMG!!!! After hours, and
hours, of grabbing and sliding, (that doesn't sound too bad does it?), we
saw the light at the end of the tunnel.
Next time, I think I'll go have a root canal instead. <g>
We regrouped, and headed for Threadgills. Gabby here we come!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
There were pups everywhere! San Antonio Pups, Dallas Pups, here a pup,
there a pup, every where a pup pup. Then I saw her....Deb aka "Tango".
Knowing she was our contact, the secret words were exchanged "What are you
wearing"? Her response in a slow, sultry voice "Nutin Honey". YEE HAW!
As I was staring at Deb's holster, another voice broke my concentration.
Damn, if it isn't Carrie aka "beer for a book" bard. Knowing her real name
was Lex, I went over and introduced myself as Amanda. Carrie, wiggling her
eyebrows, said "let me introduce you to AJ". All of a sudden our table was
ready. We were all lead to the briefing room. Introductions were made,
speeches were said, grub was ordered, now let us be fed. (Damn, I'm going
to give Trish a run for her money).
to be continued.....
next: Deb interviews Austin, Bev stops traffic with car dancing, Gina gives
dancing tips at the club........
DISCLAIMERS:
The following story is true. To protect the innocent, well that went out
the window, there were no innocent. Everyone played with themselves..I..I
mean everyone is playing their own parts. Geez
SEX: As often as I can. :o)
FEEDBACK:
Whaaaat? Can't hear you? Feed who? Since I am not being paid for the
story....it's my story and I can say what I want too. However, whatever
floats your boat, you can send comments to imalooser@duh.com
THE AUSTIN STORY
Part IIIa
After a very nice dinner at Threadgills, and then saying goodbyes with all
the pups, it was time to go batty. Quickly, Linda grabbed Laurie and they
disappeared. What the heck was that all about? We headed for the Congress
Avenue Bridge singing songs for the occasion. Such hits as Bat In My Arms
Again, Bat On The Run, Bat With The Blue Dress On, and Bat Moon Rising.
For many of us, this was our first time <g> seeing the little varmits.
All
of a sudden, we heard commotion coming from the bridge. We immediately
recognized one of the people that was causing the ruckus. LindaN was
pulling someone dressed in a Robin costume, by the hand. All we could make
out is "Linda! Bats! Not Batman! I'm going home to Atlanta"! Man, LindaN
needs to add some beef to her diet. As the last of the bats dropped from
the bridge carrying a "The End" banner, we marched back to Threadgills. Ok,
boys and girls, what are newborn bats called...hmm? Batches?....no
Batters?....no Give up?....PUPS!!!
We gathered at the command tent at Threadgills where we planned our strategy
of the evening. Four words and we were off.....can you say swimming pool,
booze, and hotel. We had just left the parking lot when we heard a
beautiful magical sound. Next to us, on a flat bed pick-up truck, was
LindaC in a very bright gay costume. Salina, Jerri, and gals were dancing
with the music. They sure looked cute in those very revealing golden shorts
and matching bras. Then, it happened.....LindaC started singing with a
funny accent..........
"Everyone!
Why don't you all throw up your hands and feel the rhythm.
Ha! Ha!
We get it almost every night
and when that moon gets big and bright
It's a super natural delight
Everybody was dancing in the moonlight"
The sunroof to the Toyota magically opened as I was drawn out of my seat.
The beat of the music, the swaying of bodies, and everyone started Butt
Dancing! A little background here, Butt Dancing was discovered in Austin,
Texas, around 2000 BBD (before butt dancing). We understand it occurs when
you are in a motorized vehicle, preferably a car, and get the urge to dance
but you can't stand up. You butt dance! All I can say is that the Toyota
has great shocks. As I was butt/standing dancin out the sunroof, Gina and
Wendy were in the front seats dodging my OOCB (out of control butt). We
later found Shery in the back seat knocked out cold, with a butt mark on the
side of her head. Whaaats up! Another great idea, let's make a BD video!
Don't remember what street we were on, but I started videoing out the
sunroof. Wendy then grabbed the camera from me saying "I'm the one who
works
for a TV station so it's my turn". Well, I went back up top, hoping she
knew where 'not' to point that thing. We butt danced all the way back to
the hotel.
There was a crowd around the pool taking pictures. Ok lets break it up, get
back to your rooms, haven't you seen Pups in a bathing suits before? We
made Dina, Carrie, and Janna get out of the pool and wrap towels around
themselves until the crowd dispersed. How in the hell did they get their
thongs on backwards? Deb arrived carrying some video equipment. Gina and
company went on a mission to buy booze. Salina and Jerri were trying to get
Shery up the stairs to her room. Kinda looked fishy to me?
to be continued..............
DISCLAIMERS:
The characters of this story were given a weekend pass to Austin. The names
on their arm bands are correct. However, the name on the back of their
orange jump suits belong to, and are property of, the County Hospital.
SEX: The number that comes before seven, and after five.
FEEDBACK: El do not want-o comments-o OK-O? Translated means write to
goplaywith@yourself.com.
THE AUSTIN STORY
PART IIIb
Roving reporter Deb/Tango was interviewing and video taping some of the
pups. I briefly listened in on Deb interviewing Wendy.
DEB: "So Wendy, what do you do in your spare time"?
WENDY: "I like gardening, and lusting after Lucy Lawless".
DEB: "OK.....What are your favorite types of vegetables"?
WENDY: "Tomatoes, peas, and squashing Lucy's body against mine".
DEB: "Hmm? OK, Why did you become a pup"?
WENDY: "I was surfing the internet and found the MerPup site. Missy, Good
God I'd love to have Lucy look at me with those gorgeous blue eyes".
DEB: "How long have you been a Xena: Warrior Princess fan"?
WENDY: "Let me see....It has been about four years, since I was rushed to
the hospital for licking the TV screen".
DEB: "Ok, times up!"
The pups did, what the pups do best, have fun. Swimming, drinking, lounging
around, drinking, bonding, drinking, and singing. Did someone mention
singing? "Feelings, nothing more than feelings.............../Pretty
woman, walking down the street, pretty woman the kind I like to
meet..../Who's tripping down the streets of the city, smiling at everybody
she sees, who's bending down to capture a rainbow, everyone knows it's
Wendy. By the Gods, what voices!! Nawwww, it was just Bev and Laurie.
Jerri was drinking some funny tasting chocolate mix drink thingy, Salina was
garbage can dancing with a bottle of rubbing alcohol, Deb was going around
giving people wine glasses and calling them 'Honey'. Isn't she sweet. Oh,
it's Honey Wine....damn, foiled again Batman! Gina was reclining on the
chaise lounge getting very wet, LindaN was fighting off Deb's advances for
an interview, I was putting the microphone down my t-shirt begging, I mean
trying to get Deb to help me clip it on, Dina was wiggling her eyebrows at
Becky, Shery was trying to get Wendy to show her the secrets to Butt
Dancing, and AJ and Carrie...sorry, can't say. Not wanting to break the
hotel rules, it was time to leave the pool area. The penalty was a free
weekend at the Clarion.
But the night was young, and some of the pups were ready to howl.
Arggggggggg! Gina, Wendy, Salina, Shery, Jerri, Deb, and I headed for town.
While driving around to find a parking space, Xena, I mean Deb spotted her
first. Everyone's mouth dropped open. OMG!! It's Callisto!!!! She must
have been following us, because every where we went, she was there staring
daggers through the Toyota. Then Deb made an observation, she was a he, or
use to be a he. Whatever....we were just happy we didn't have to kick butt!
YEAH! Deb, knowing her way around, directed us to a club Hubba Hubba. The
music was loud, the beat pulsing, the liquor flowed, YEEEE HAAAW! The dance
floor wasn't that crowded,so what was up with those three chicks dancing
like they were glued together. Huh? Gina, Deb, Wendy, Shery, and I danced
the tribal dance. Were we good or what? Jerri made the mistake, and talked
to Gina about dancing. Gina said "Oh it's easy, ya just go out there and
act like you are ________". (If ya want the answer, please write
gdhsun@aol.com ) Gina was admiring, yeah
admiring, the leather on this one
chick. I guess she wanted to ask her where she buys her clothes, but she
was shy and just kept looking. We had fun and it was time to leave. I
think we made a couple of circles before we got our directions straight.
Miz Deb was not helping at all with her slurring speech, and her constant
Xena yells. Salina, Jerri, and I were dropped off at the hotel while the
others went in search of nutbread.
to be continued...................I don't know how much more I can
stand!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
DISCLAIMERS:
No one had better DIS my CLAIMERS. OK? If you do not know any of these
people, be afraid, be very afraid. They are very well known for having lots
of fun, and one hell of a good time. Even though one looks like Xena, and
one like Gabby <I will not mention any names Deb & Wendy> they do
not belong
to anyone, except of course the TexasPupList. Where they get free lifetime
memberships.
SEX: Once in Waco
FEEDBACK:
I no speak English. How you say....."dollar"? Yes?
Send to:
La-Xena
1011 Tamale Road
La Yusten, TX 88999
THE AUSTIN STORY
Part IV
Sunday, September 3, 2000. Nothing memorable happened in the morning. Oh,
wait! Some of us went shopping at the Outlet Malls. Gina's sister lives in
New Braunfels, so she joined us with her three sons. Memorable?......yes I
guess this kinda fits into the definition. Let the games begin.......There
are ten (10), of us in the Toyota, 105+ degrees, very humid, we are tired,
sweaty, and all of a sudden this 'fog' seemed to drift through the Toyota.
The paint starts to peel, the seats are turning a pukish brown, and everyone
starts rolling their windows down grasping for breath. People started
screaming "there is a dead animal
in the car", "who has the rotten garbage", but mostly screams of "ewwwwwwww"
were most prevalent. Hey, I give her credit, Gina's sister that is,
because she confessed, and very proudly I might add, "Oh that was me, excuse
me"! Argggggggggggggg I forgot to tell you not to read this part while
you are eating.
Ok, on to the Picnic at Cathy's and Tamrin's house. When we arrived, Dina,
Becky, and the kids (that does include AJ & Carrie) were out in the pool.
The smell of BBQ was very, yes very, welcomed. Head cook and bottle
washer, Cathy had definitely out done herself. Lets Eat!!! You couldn't
see the table for all the food. Don't ya just hate that when you can't see
the lovely table top. Nawwwww!!! I guess you don't need a play by play of
the slurping, chomping, belching, smacking, and finger licking. Deb had
brought over some Plum Wine. The only problem with that, after everyone
had there little taste, it was all gone. :o( That's kinda like kissing
your GF through screen door. Think about it.
Cathy's son came down stairs in torn, worn out clothes. All we remember
hearing was "well son, if I can get some of these pups to buy some books, we
might be able to get you a new shirt on Monday". That did it, we had to go
shop. Walked a few steps into Renaissance Alliance Publishing, and knew
what we had to do.....buy books!
After we made ourselves miserable, we gathered to watch videos. The first
movie we watched was 'Late Bloomers'. I'm no movie critic, but didn't those
two main characters remind you of Mary Ann and Gilligan? You know, the wife
and the basketball coach. Just wanted to share that little observation with
you. The second movie was 'It's in the Water'. Personally, I would much
rather have *it* in the water than, let's say, Bud Lite, Miller Lite, or
whatever quenches your thirst. Then the room became very quite as Deb
very...slowly...crawled to the VCR. Can you say p-r-o-w-e-l? The first part
of the video was Deb Co-Anchoring on 'Geek Unique' at Dragoncon. Then there
were <gulp> clips from some of the movies she has made. I want to thank
Miz
G for coming to my rescue, and fastening a bib on me. Damn, must have been
that linseed oil I drank that made me drool. Just to give you a little
preview of these clips.....leather, very little leather....hmmmmm. XWP
bloopers ended our lovely evening.
The next morning we all met for breakfast, said our goodbyes, and headed
home. Let's see....where can we have the next meet?
The End