Terri's Poems
L-Z
Leave Me Be
I live here in this house alone
No TV, radio or phone
You could say I'm isolated
Ev'rything here is quite dated
But I do love my solitude
An interruption would be rude
The men in white, they often try
To capture me, but I am sly
I hide until they go away
This is my home, and here I'll stay
They think I'm looney, yes they do
Spend time with me, and you will too
So stay away, and leave me be
Cause I don't want your company!
Terri Lyn Stanfield
1/19/2001
Let Em Look
Shy and retiring
Gentle and kind
Intoxicating
And you're all mine
You don't realize
When others stare
You never notice
They're even there
But heads always turn
When we go out
I see they want you
But I've no doubt
Of your devotion
You're truly blind
You haven't a clue
That you're so fine
You've no idea
That you're a ten
A perfect body
That sexy grin
But you're way too shy
To notice that
Too sweet and gentle
I marvel at
How unaffected
And real you are
You are so special
I'm grateful for
My luck in finding
Someone like you
Beautiful inside
And outside too
Our love is solid
So let them look
It's too bad for them
Because this book
Really can be judged
By it's cover
But you're spoken for
My sweet lover
Terri Lyn Stanfield
6/25/2001
Life Is Sweet
I saw the world through jaded eyes
Expecting the worst
And usually getting it
Trustful of very few
Comfortable with even less
Having ceased to expect the good things of life to come my way
Resigned to a solitary existance
Then one day I turned a corner
And ran right into my destiny
Right into your arms
And I never wanted to leave
In just that instant
I ceased to exist
And started to live
And discovered for myself
That life is sweet
Terri Lyn Stanfield
4/1/2001
Let It Be Me
When you need someone to fight your battles
Let it be me
When you need someone to defend your honor
Let it be me
When you need someone to dry your tears
Let it be me
When you need someone to make you smile
Let it be me
When you need someone to hold you through the night
Let it be me
When you need someone to lift you up when you're feeling down
Let it be me
When you need someone to make your dreams come true
Let it be me
Whatever you need, whenever you need it
Let me be the one who gives it to yoou
Let me be the one who's there for you
Let me be the one who never lets you down
Because I never will
If you let it be me
Terri Lyn Stanfield
2/22/2001
Life's Funny That Way
I saw you today with your new family
And you looked so happy and right together
We spoke for a while
You introduced me to your love
I introduced you to mine
And as we went our separate ways
I thought to myself how funny life can be
There was a time when I wanted nothing more than to spend my whole life with
you
When I thought I wouldn't survive without your love
When I thought I would die over our breakup
And yet, today I am oh, so thankful that things turned out as they did
For if they hadn't, I would never have known my true love
And from the look of it, you feel the same
Funny how life just works itself out
What we had was good
What we've got is great
And I don't think we could have had one without the other
Terri Lyn Stanfield
4/13/2001
Living In Paradise
The roof is leaky
The grass needs cut
The window is cracked
The door won't shut
The faucet's dripping
The carpet's stained
The floor is creaky
This sink won't drain
This old run down house
Sure needs repair
The cracks in the wall
Let in the air
I'm sure you wonder
Why we stay here
The answer to that
Is crystal clear
Regardless how it
May look to you
This is paradise
I tell you true
Yes, it's ramshackle
But it is full
From basement to roof
With rare jewels
Love, joy, happiness
Kindness and hope
And familial bliss
Yes, the full scope
Of things that make
A house a home
And not one of us
Will ever roam
Terri Lyn Stanfield
4/17/2001
Lonely Only
The first day of school
And the child stands off to the side, all alone
As the other children play
Interacting so easily, so naturally
But it's not easy for this child
It's not natural for this child
She has no brothers or sisters
She's never had any playmates
She's spent her entire life around adults
And suddenly, she's thrust into this world of children
But she's not like them
She doesn't know how to be one of the crowd
She's an only child
But she was never lonely
Not until today
Now she's on the outside, looking in
As the years go by she learns how to take part
But never how to fit in
She never reaches the point where she feels comfortable
Where she really feels accepted
And she becomes a loner
She's well liked, but she remains distant
Constantly aware that she's not like the others
That easy repartee that seems to come so easily to them
Is such a mystery to her
So far beyond her reach, beyond her understanding
That basic skill they learned as babies
That flows so easily between siblings
And from there to society in general
Was always impossible for her to grasp
Impossible for her to master
And so, she could never feel a part of them
She was never able to bridge that gap
To cross that line that separated her from them
She was comfortable only when alone
The way she'd always been
Always would be
A lonely only
Terri Lyn Stanfield
2/22/2001
Longing
This night is filled with longing
It's palpable in ths air
I breathe in its scent
I hear its siren's call
I can almost taste its sweet savor
But it remains unfulfilled
For you are so very far away
And I am here alone
And my need goes unassuaged
Terri Lyn Stanfield
2/26/2001
Love Hurts
I listen for the sound of your car in the driveway
As I lay alone in our bed
And when I hear it, I pretend to be asleep
I just can't bear to hear another of your excuses
You creep into our bedroom, and ease into our bed
And within minutes, you're fast asleep
And I lay awake throughout the night
Trying to decide if I can continue on like this
I'm still in love with you
And strangely enough, I believe you still love me
Is this just a phase you're going through
And what if itis
Does that make it any more accepable
Not to me, it doesn't
Regardless of your reasons why
This is slowly killing me
And yet, the thought of living without you is more than I can bear
Though if you were to stop this deceit today
I'm not sure I could find it in my heart to forgive you
And as the sun makes its appearance I am no closer to answers than before
When the alarm goes off, you reach over and take me in your arms
And I let you
And for a little while, it's just you and me
All of our troubles fade away
But they'll be back all too soon
And the answers will still be unknown
Terri Lyn Stanfield
4/12/2001
Love Matters
The million stars that light the night sky as we gaze upward
The sand that provides a warm, soft bed for us
The sound of the waves coming into shore, constant and neverending
These things should combine to make me feel small
Inconsequential in the big scheme of things
But as I lay here in your arms, they do not
For you make me feel the most important thing in the world
And if I mean so much to you
How can I mean so little to the world at large
I'm not saying that I am not expendable
Or that I am vital to the status quo of the universe
But as long as we share this precious love
I know I have a place in this world
That I am essential to its continuation
And there is nothing, and no one, who can ever make me feel small again
Terri Lyn Stanfield
6/24/2001
Love's Dirge
I look at you
Across the way
And wonder how
We reached this day
Full of anger
At loggerheads
The love we felt
Completely dead
As your lawyer
Argues with mine
My mind goes back
A bit in time
To when we were
So much in love
Happy, content
And so sure of
The love we had
We knew it'd last
So how did things
Go bad so fast
We passed the point
At which we could
Repair the hurt
Love died for good
And now we're here
The court decides
Who should get what
Opposing sides
Of council state
Their layed out plan
For division
Each sure they can
Get the most for
Us, their clients
Going at it
Like mad giants
While you and I
Try not to look
At each other
Or give in to
The urge to speak
To shout, to rant
To reunite
Because we can't
The love is gone
But memories
Can make it seem
That it still breathes
But it is dead
And we are through
And our parting
Is long past due
Terri Lyn Stanfield
5/27/2001
Man
How handsome you are, with your shining blue eyes
A dimple in each cheek, and one in your chin as well
Thick, black hair; just perfect for me to run my fingers
through
A smile that would melt any woman's heart
And you hold so strongly, yet so gently, to my hand
If only you would stay so perfect
What a shame you have to grow up
My precious little man
Terri Lyn Stanfield
1/19/2001
Mid-Life Crisis
You say you need your space
That it has nothing to do with me
But you just can't be with me right now
You have to do what's right for you
And after all this time together
Suddenly, that's not us
You say there's no one else
But you don't look me in the eyes when you speak
What am I supposed to think?
Is this your mid-life crisis?
You're just going to destroy all we've worked to build?
You say it's only temporary
That when you've got your head on straight
That you'll be back
Well, you know what?
I won't be here waiting for you
You can't just use me as your safety net
If you feel you have to leave, then go
But don't bother coming back
Because there will be nothing to come back to
Terri Lyn Stanfield
4/7/2001
A Moment Of Weakness
What we took years to build
I destroyed in a moment
A moment of weakness
I should have walked away
I should have run
But I stayed
And I succumbed
And the look in your eyes is shredding my heart
As I have shredded yours
You say you don't hate me
But you can no longer love me, either
I hate myself enough for both of us
And I will love you til the day I die
I won't ask you to forgive me
And I will never forgive myself
And I will forever curse that moment in time
That moment of weakness
Terri Lyn Stanfield
3/31/2001
I dedicate this to my mother, Juanez, and to
my dearest friend, Nadine. Two
sweeter ladies never walked the earth.
My Inspiration
You are so beautiful
I look at you
And I see an angel
It's not so much a physical beauty
Although you have that too
No, it's a beauty of the soul
An inner beauty that colors everything you do
Everything you are
The baser instincts that plague us all
Have no purchase with you
It would never occur to you to be cruel
You wouldn't know how
I pray you never learn
You are an inspiration
To all who know you
But most of all, to me
You are my guiding light
My proof that goodness does exist
And it is my fervent wish
That the ugly things in life
Never touch you, never change you
For you are the rarity in this world
A pure and gentle soul
Terri Lyn Stanfield
4/5/2001
My Last Broken Heart
I can't believe
You're here again
Sometimes it seems
I just can't win
I really thought
That I was through
That I was free
And over you
But when you knocked
On my front door
I let you in
Just like before
You promised me
That you had changed
Not the first time
You've made that claim
You're bad for me
I know it's true
But I'm in love
What can I do
If I was strong
I'd tell you no
Just close the door
And make you go
But I am weak
Where you're concerned
I just don't think
I'll ever learn
So once again
I'll take the chance
And bet my heart
On this romance
But you should know
That for my part
That this is my
Last broken heart
Should you use it
There is no more
No replacement
I have none stored
So this is it
End of the line
All or nothing
Make up your mind
It's your last chance
To make amends
So stay with me
Until time ends
Terri Lyn Stanfield
2/25/2001
MY Son
You were never there while he was growing up
You contributed nothing to his upbringing
But now he's grown into an exceptional young man
And suddenly, here you are, front and center
As he receives his kudos
You sit there acting the proud father
And though I've always tried to be fair
And non judgemental where you were concerned
I swear that if you say, "That's my boy!"
I won't be responsible for my actions
Where were you when he was sick so often
Where were you when he was playing ball
Where were you when all of the other little boys were doing things with their
dads
Where were you on his birthdays
Where were you all the times he needed you
How dare you take any credit for the man he has become
Even at such a young age
He's a better man now than you ever were
Than you'll ever be
And he's MY son
Not ours
I earned the right to be called "mom"
You never earned "dad"
And you never will
Terri Lyn Stanfield
4/5/2001
My Time Will Come
I had the chance to see my dreams fulfilled
It was right there at my fingertips
All I had to do, was reach out and grab it
And the temptation was almost overpowering
But if I had taken it
I would have destroyed someone else's
And though I teetered on the verge
And came close to giving in
I just couldn't do it
So I stood back, and watched someone else's dreams come true
And found, to my surprise
That I felt happy for them
And not sorry for myself
Besides, my time will come
My dreams will come true
And the triumph will be all mine
Free and clear
At no one else's expense
And I'll be there to claim it when it does
Terri Lyn Stanfield
4/1/2001
Nightmare
I wake to total darkness
My skin cold and clammy
My heart thundering out of control
And my breath coming in harsh gasps
Still completely engulfed in terror
Held tightly in the grasp of the nightmare
My screams still echoeing through the room
I try to remember the dream's content
But can recall only vague images
Horrors tugging at the edge of my memory
Thank God it was only a dream
It was only a dream, wasn't it?
Yet it seemed so real
I fumble with the light
And as it comes on
I realize my nightmare has only begun
Terri Lyn Stanfield
1/20/2001
Ode To Ice Cream
Decisions, decisions
So hard to make
Banana split, sundae
Malted or shake
Ice cream's simply awesome
In any form
And in any flavor
Though as a norm
I prefer chocolate
It really rules
But strawberry is great
Both make me drool
With pecans and whipped cream
Or all alone
Served in a fancy dish
Or just a cone
With sprinkles or candy
Any which way
A serving of ice cream
Just makes my day
Terri Lyn Stanfield
4/8/2001
Older And Wiser
When I made my vows, they came from the heart
In sickness and health, til death do us part
And though the same words were spoken by you
You really didn't, though you said "I do"
When the going got tough, you walked away
Knowing how much I wanted you to stay
How can two people who were so in love
Reach the place, so fast, where push comes to shove
The only answer that makes any sense
Is that your feelings were only pretense
How could you play with my emotions so?
Did you love me at all? I need to know
So I can put all of this behind me
In hopes that my true soulmate will find me
So tell me the truth, you owe me that much
Was it all a lie, ev'ry kiss and touch?
I can see from your face, you don't know yourself
Maybe we were both just too young to tell
So let's leave it at that, and part as friends
We're older and wiser, and here it ends
Terri Lyn Stanfield
1/19/2001
Only One
In all the world there is only one
From whom I wasn't able to run
Who owns my heart to all exclusion
And keep it safe from all intrusion
Who knows my secret, innermost fears
And soothes them all, and who sees my tears
Things I keep hidden from all others
Are not allowed to be kept covered
Though there are things I'd rather not share
My innermost being is laid bare
I have no defense angainst this one
Though I've come to know that I need none
At last I have a safe place to go
And when I doubt all else, this I know
I'm loved and accepted for all time
By this precious soulmate that is mine
Terri Lyn Stanfield
2/24/2001
Out Of My Hands
How did you do it?
Tell me, how did you get in
I spent a lifetime building barriers
And you walked right through them
As if they weren't even there
The day I met you, you claimed my heart
And I never realized it was at stake
I never even had the chance to fight
There was no opportunity to run
And I would have, I always did
I've never willingly let anyone close
But I will be eternally grateful
That you didin't give me a choice
Terri Lyn Stanfield
6/7/2001
Persistant Suitor
I tell you no
You hear maybe
I tell you go
And you hear stay
What will it take
For you to see
That I don't want
A "you and me"
I've made it plain
I've left no doubt
I meant it when
I say, "Get out!"
But you just laugh
It's all a joke
You act as if
I never spoke
I'm at the end
Of all my wits
I don't know how
I can convince
You that I mean
It when I say
I'm not inclined
To feel that way
Where you're concerned
I never will
Because you just
Don't fit the bill
You're not my type
Not even close
But I don't want
To hurt you, though
You're not giving
Me much choice
I've tried hard to
Use reason's voice
It just went right
Over your head
So then I tried
Bluntness instead
But you didn't
Even get that
What if you caught
Me in the act
That just might work
Though it's extreme
I've used up all
My other schemes
I've reached the point
Where I will try
Most anything
But being sly
Just really goes
Against my grain
You are driving
Me so insane
I really tried
To be gentle
But you are dense
Are you mental?
I've given up
It's come to this
Now you'll witness
A lover's kiss
And hopefully
That will do it
And finally
We'll be through it
Terri Lyn Stanfield
3/30/2001
Predators
What is this thing we have between us
Attraction, temptation or lust
There is no way that it could be love
For there is not an ounce of trust
Yet you invade my thoughts constantly
You inhabit my dreams at night
And whenever we're in the same room
You remain in my line of sight
This is a game of the predator
We're both champions in the sport
Pursue, overcome and then discard
We're not looking for a consort
It's the thrill of the hunt that lures us
The more difficult, the better
And the supreme test of mastery
Is the two of us, together
But one of us would have to concede
Supremacy to the other
And I do not see that happening
It's much too fun fo discover
Just how far we are willing to go
To bring the other to their knees
The contest is far too exciting
For neither will give up with ease
We are both enticed by the notion
Totally commited to win
And the spoils will go to the victor
Then we'll be on the prowl again
Terri Lyn Stanfield
6/10/2001
The Player
I know you think you're really hot
But let me tell you that you're not
Oh, you've got the looks, true enough
But all the rest is just a bluff
You pretend to be shy and sweet
And your conquests fall at your feet
Then you use them for your pleasure
String them along at your leisure
Letting them think they're your main squeeze
But playing the field as you please
Then you dump them without a thought
Breaking their hearts, and caring nought
Well, let me tell you, that's not cool
And you're the one playing the fool
You just don't toy with emotions
Throwing away true devotion
You've been handed the gift of love
And trashed it, without thinking of
The pain you caused, or what you've done
Only concerned with number one
You're callous, cruel, self absorbed
Reigning king in your own small world
I doubt you'll ever realize
Just what you've lost, or even why
You're far too shallow to perceive
What you have missed, you just believe
That love's a game, and you're the ace
So you'll continue to abase
The sanctity of love's sweet gift
Never knowing you are bereft
Terri Lyn Stanfield
4/6/2001
Playing With Fire
I was aware
Of your desires
I decided
To play with fire
I fanned the flames
Teased your senses
And never gave
You recompense
I held you in
My temptress' web
Never let your
Interest ebb
Kept you dangling
Right on the verge
Never bothered
To sate your urge
But then I erred
Along the way
I fell in love
My heart was swayed
I let the game
Go on too long
I went to far
And you were gone
But there has been
A lesson learned
You play with fire
You will get burned
Terri Lyn Stanfield
3/31/2001
Quiet House
Is there anything sadder than a quiet house?
When once it rang with the sounds of laughter
When little feet raced throught the halls
And jumped on the beds
When smudgy fingerprints adorned the walls
Along with crayola murals in bright colors
And later with the sound of young voices
Discussing the latest fasshions
Or the sports star of the day
And who they were taking, or going with, to the prom
When you've watched that last march of the cap and gown
And they've all gone on to lives of their own
And the silence is deafening
Is there anything sadder than a quiet house?
Terri Lyn Stanfield
2/24/2001
Raging Storm
Outside the rain pours down, and it mirrors the weeping
of my soul
The roll of thunder echoes inside my heart
The flash of lightning is repeated in my eyes
I am a being at storm, in tandem with nature's fury
The melancholy weather equals my sorrow
The steady downpour beats out the cadence of your
betrayal
The rage of the storm matches my fierce anger
If only the tempest inside of me would cease when the
weather cleared
But this deluge of emotion beats down upon me
mercilessly
And this storm that has concumed me will never end
Terri Lyn Stanfield
1/16/2001
Senseless Thoughts
So many words
Spin in my head
But none cohere
And so, instead
They make no sense
They form no thought
And I am in
This temptest caught
No firm idea
To latch onto
No opinion
To follow through
And so, I wait
Upon my muse
Til she decides
My hand to use
Terri Lyn Stanfield
4/13/2001
Shadows
I have spent a llifetime in the shadows
Dodging the sunlight, evading its rays
So much easier to live with myself that way
Never having to really examine what I was
Embracing the darkness and revelling in its anonymity
Doing things that could never happen in the light of day
My soul even darker than the darkest night
And my heart harder than solid granite
The inky blackness of the night at one with the savage beast that lived
inside of me
Coming out in the darkness and preying upon the weak
Innocents drawn to me like moths to the flame
And I, gladly taking their offerings, without one iota of remorse
But one night, the innocent was you
And it was I who was burned
Straight through to my heart, to my soul
You took my hand, and led me into the light
And though I'm still haunted by the shadows
By all of the damage that I did
Though I constantly fight the pull of the nighttime
I live here with you in the lightness of day
Ever knowing I don't deserve the purity of your love
Yet determined to hold fast to it for as long as I live
Terri Lyn Stanfield
6/25/2001
Silhouettes
I sit on a bench across the street from your apartment
And I see the silhouettes on your window shade
The two of you so close together you appear as one
And I watch as you slowly lower your lips to hers
And as your shadow melds into hers
I feel as if a knife is twisting inside my heart
I shouldn't be here, I know
You made it very clear that you no longer wanted me
But I held the hope in my heart that you would change your mind
Though I can tell from the way you're kissing her
That she now holds your heart
And though I should leave, I'm frozen here
Watching the dance of your silhouettes on the shade
Until at last the light goes out
And with it the last of my dreams
Terri Lyn Stanfield
4/15/2001
Society's Standard
Society has its standard
And we're judged, one and all
According to the limits set
And one can't be too small
Young girls starving themselves because
They dare not weigh too much
Using anorexic models
And actresses, and such
As examples for which to aim
Trying to emulate
Their perfect bodies, and their looks
Too often tempting fate
Shattering their own self image
And their self worth, as well
Sacrificing their health and pride
So caught up in the spell
They lose themselves in the attempt
To be someone they're not
Never even considering
To embrace what they've got
Perfectly lovely young ladies
Vibrant and beautiful
Slaves to society's measure
Always feeling its pull
Just what does that say about us
That we let this go on
Allowing our daughters to feel
Belittled by this scorn
We need to make them understand
That all they have to be
Is the person they really are
And make sure that they see
That they are truly wonderful
Perfect just as they are
Get them to believe in themselves
Instead of some big star
Encourage them to look inside
And love what they find there
And always make sure that they know
How very much we care
Terri Lyn Stanfield
4/14/2001
Tall, Dark And Handsome
You walk in to the room
And all eyes turn to you
Drop dead gorgeous
Doesn't even come close
To describing your looks
Tall, dark and handsome
You wear your clothes with such flair
And you exude self confidence
Every woman in the room wants you
But you walk straight to me
And I can't help but gloat just a bit
Because I know you are mine
And you don't even notice them
And you never will
Terri Lyn Stanfield
4/5/2001
Talking In Your Sleep
You've been talking in your sleep
And it's not my name you call
And I wonder, is it only a dream?
Or do you have a secret lover?
I can tell it's a very sensual dream
But is it only your imagination?
Or are you reliving some past liason?
I've never had a reason to mistrust you
Do I have one now?
And how can I know?
Terri Lyn Stanfield
4/5/2001
The Tease
Always right there
Just out of reach
Is where you stay
You're such a tease
You play the game
But by your rules
And keep a count
Of lovesick fools
What they don't know
But what I do
Is that the same
Was done to you
You fell into
A well layed trap
And lost your heart
To one suave chap
Then he moved on
And your heart broke
You decided
No other bloke
Would ever do
To you again
What he had done
And that is when
You turned into
What you are now
A wicked tease
Who cares not how
Much pain you cause
Or who you hurt
You stay remote
You're just a flirt
You tease until
Things get intense
Then you back off
Of your offense
You leave them there
Quite frustrated
Yes, you've become
What you hated
You tease and use
Misrepresent
Your intentions
Your morals bent
All I can say
Is, what a shame
That you sold out
For whatshisname
Terri Lyn Stanfield
4/8/2001
That's What You Are
What are you to me, how can I put it into words
You take my breath away like a beautiful sunset
You fill me with hope like the start of each new day
You put joy in my heart like the laughter of a child
And you refresh me like a cool, summer breeze
All of the things that make life worth living
That's what you are to me
Terri Lyn Stanfield
8/2/2001
Through The Eyes Of Love
I look into your eyes
And I see undying love
I look into your heart
And I see unshakeable steadfastness
I look into your mind
And I see eternal committment
I look into your soul
And I see the other half of my own
Terri Lyn Stanfield
1/16/2001
Time To Grow Up
I see the wheels turning
As you're plotting away
At you next get rich scheme
Looking for the quick pay
You want so to be rich
That has been your life's goal
If you thought it would work
You'd gladly sell your soul
The minimum effort
Is what you will expend
Yet you'll be expecting
To be raking it in
You're nought but a dreamer
And though that is not wrong
There must be a limit
This has gone on too long
Responsibilities
Though they are not pleasant
Are there, front and center
They are always present
And though it would be great
To have lots of money
You have nothing to prove
You have my love, honey
Perhaps it will happen
And one day you'll succeed
But you can't just ignore
That we have daily needs
It is time to grow up
And set your dreams aside
I have carried us both
And I've done so with pride
I wanted you to have
The opportunity
To chase after your dreams
All unhindered and free
And you have had your chance
More times than I can count
But enough is enough
And it's time you bowed out
Welcome to the real world
And though it's not your dream
It can be fulfilling
And I think you will see
That an every day job
Isn't really that bad
Though it may not compare
With the dreams you have had
And I'm not asking you
To forsake all your schemes
You'll have plenty of time
To devote to your dreams
But you're an adult, and
It's time you acted one
And I think you will find
You and I will have fun
Terri Lyn Stanfield
6/23/2001
Torn Between Two Lovers
Caught in the crossfire
In love with you both
How did this happen
I don't really know
I didn't intend
That it go this far
Things got out of hand
And so, here we are
I'm in the middle
Torn almost in half
Completely to blame
For this foolish gaffe
I had just met him
I've always known you
And it just happened
Now what do we do
My feelings are real
For you, and for him
You both love me
The outcome looks grim
A heartbreak awaits
At least one of us
And how can I choose
Even though I must
You both mean so much
You're special, and true
You don't deserve this
What I've done to you
Both of you acted
In honor and faith
I'm the deceiver
I carelessly played
With your heart and his
With your emotions
I gave you false hope
But my devotion
Wasn't pretended
I really love you
I really love him
Now what do I do
I can't bear the thought
Of causing you pain
Even though I should
I can't stay away
This can't continue
Just dragging things out
I have to decide
Of that, there's no doubt
But how do I choose
Either one of you
You're both so special
And I'm torn in two
But I deserve it
While you and he don't
You should both just leave
Though I know you won't
And now I must hurt
One, undeserving
Because I was vain
And so unworthy
The only fair thing
Is to walk away
My own broken heart
The price that I'll pay
Terri Lyn Stanfield
7/30/2001
Unknown Destination
As I drive down this lonely road
Not knowing where it will end
I search my heart for regret
But I find none
I lived under your rule for too long
Never having a voice
Never having a life
Always having to do things your way
You never once considered my feelings
Or even that I had any
At this moment, you probably have no idea why I left
You've always been so self-absorbed
I know you never realized how miserable I was
Would it have mattered if you had?
In your own way, I'm sure you cared
That's not enough anymore
It never was, really
But it's taken me this long to find the courage
The will, to strike out on my own
I don't know where this road will lead
But I won't be looking back
Terri Lyn Stanfield
1/22/2001
What Changed?
I don't know how it happened, I've no idea why
I don't know what changed, if anything
But today, when I looked at you
I didn't see my oldest and dearest friend
I saw a handsome, vibrant man
And I was shaken to my very core
For years we have been inseparable
We've done everything together
And I never once felt anything for you but friendship
But what I felt today wasn't platonic
It was awareness, it was sensual, it was lust
And I'm scared to death, it was love
Terri Lyn Stanfield
8/1/2001
Was It Just A Dream?
I had a dream
And it seemed so real
I was a princess
And in love with a prince
He was so handsome
All of the ladies of the court wanted him for their own
But he had eyes only for me
He brought me the most beautiful rose
And we walked hand in hand
Through a field of flowers
The feelings of love and joy were palpable
Then as he took me in his arms
And pressed his lips to mine
I awoke
To find a perfect red rose on my pillow
Terri Lyn Stanfield
4/4/2001
What Could I Have Done?
Over and over
Around in my head
I wonder what I
Could have done instead
I don't understand
I thought we were fine
Was that only an
Illusion of mine
I thought that we had
A good thing going
Thought we were in love
Thought we were growing
Then suddenly you're
Telling me goodbye
I was so dumbstruck
That I couldn't cry
At least not right then
But after you left
I cried a river
I felt so bereft
Now I'm just empty
And trying to find
An explanation
To help ease my mind
I should have seen that
You were not happy
But I had no clue
Is the blame on me
Could I have loved you
Anymore than I did
Or should I have seen
The things that you hid
I have no answers
My heart is broken
I guess that we just
Left things unspoken
Whatever the cause
You are gone for good
What does it matter
What I could or should
Terri Lyn Stanfield
3/31/2001
Winner
There's nothing you can do for me
I'm drowning in my misery
I had the winning numbers, true
But like a dummy, what'd I do?
I left the ticket in my jeans
Which, you might notice, are now clean
Ususally, I'm such a slob
But I was starting a new job
Now I'll have to hang on to it
How'd this happen, why'd I do it?!
Yeah, you sit there and shake your head
I'll just keep wishing I was dead
Terri Lyn Stanfield
1/19/2001
Women Like Her
Do you really think
She doesn't know
What you are doing
And where you go
She's not that stupid
But you must be
She's really special
Or don't you see
That women like her
Are rare indeed
And you should treat her
Respectfully
I can't imagine
Why she still cares
As much as she does
But you beware
If you should lose her
You'll never find
Another like her
So keep in mind
The price you will pay
So great a loss
And consider if
It's worth the cost
Terri Lyn Stanfield
4/16/2001
You Hurt Her
She heard you, you know
When you said those hurtful words
But, perhaps that's what you intended
You knew they would cut her to the quick
Why would you say something like that?
She's such a gentle soul
She looks for the best in everyone
Even you, and you bring her to tears
Are you proud of yourself?
Well, you should be ashamed
She didn't deserve this
And you can't take it back
You really hurt her
And you shouldn't have
Terri Lyn Stanfield
4/5/2001