Poems by Terri Lyn Stansfield

Reulyn@aol.com

She

She stands strong against adversity
She is my port in every storm
She fights my battles, defeats my foes
She knows no fear, she has no weakness
She never backs down, she always wins
She is all that I can never be
She is the warrior inside of me

Terri Lyn Stanfield
12/3/2000

Stolling through life
Alone, and lonely
Til I turned a corner
And ran right into you
I wasn't looking for you
That's what I'd have said
If you asked; you didn't
You simply waltzed into my heart
And made it your own
Took control of my emotions
And turned my world around
Filled a void in my soul
That I'd refused to acknowledge
And for the first time in my life
I am complete

In the middle of the night, dreams of you insure my
peaceful sleep
I wake in the morning, filled with the comfort of your
love
And as I struggle through the war zone that is my
daily life
Thoughts of you protect me from man's inhumanity to man
You have touched my soul, and rescued it from darkness
You have touched my heart, now it beats only for you
You saved me from myself, and I am yours forever

From My Heart To Yours

Do you know how dear to me the two of you are
You came into my life at a time when I was ready to cut
myself off
From relationships, from commitment...from feeling
And, in so doing, to cut myself off from pain
But from the very first, you reached past my defenses
And touched my heart in a way that few ever have
And I know that if, God forbid, our relationship should
end tomorrow
I would be the better for having known you
To have been blessed with your love has been a balm to
my soul
You have put joy back into my heart, and into my life
There are no words to truly let you know what you mean
to me
None to describe how deep is my love for you
None to describe how unbreakable my commitment
None to describe how great is my gratitude for letting
me into your lives
And no matter how beautifully words may be strung
together
They could never speak as true, as when my heart speaks
to yours

Mystery Man

I wait here in the twilight's gloom
Seeking comfort in the darkness
Searching for a faceless lover
One who comes to me in the night
And fulfills my every desire
Makes my every dream come true
Then leaves before the morning light
He touches the depths of my soul
He takes me to passionate heights
But he is a stranger to me
Were I to meet him of the street
I would pass him by, not knowing
His name, his face....unknown to me
Still, every night, without fail
He comes to me from dusk til dawn
And loves me as no other has
So I wait for his arrival
With baited breath and burning heart
To once more lost myself in him
To leave behind my lonely life
And live what other fantasize
In the arms of my mystery man

Tortured Soul

In the solitude of the night
When thoughts run rampant
And deeds run dark

I battle my inner demon
Lest it takes control
And destroys me

The sun's bright light holds it at bay
With its' soothing warmth
Its' calming rays

But now the darkness is complete
And the beast inside
Raises its' head

And I battle it for control
But I grow weaker
And it gains strength

Soon to burst from its' restraints
And consume us both
Til there's nothing left

Salvation just a distant dream
My soul in its' grasp
Heart hard as stone

In the breath before I succumb
You reach out your hand
And I am saved

Only you can tame its' fierce rage
You alone will it heed
You...you alone

You touch the darkest part of me
My black heart you tame
My soul you heal

You sooth the savage beast in me
Give me back myself
Make me believe

With you I can hold back the dark
I can face the light
I can be me

Life's Highway

I saw that twinkle in your eye
As you watched that sports car pass us by
Our mini van no competition
For that hot fuel injected engine
I heard the sigh you tried to hide
And knew you'd set your dreams aside
To be my husband, and our children's dad
And never a better one was had
As you stopped for the light and turned your head
Any doubt I had instantly fled
For much more than a twinkle was in your eye
And you didn't even try to hide your sigh
"I love you, honey," is what you said
"And I really enjoy being a dad."
"I wouldn't trade you guys for anything."
"And I'm proud and happy to wear your ring."
The light turned green, and on we went
And I sat there basking in content

Fearless Heart

Behind a fortress, walls unbreachable
Lived my lonely heart
Protected from the cruel, cruel world
It beat, a world apart
And then you came, and so unexpectedly
Not slowly, brick by brick
You destroyed all my castle's defenses
So tidily and quick
My heart lay bare, not strong, but faint
It shuddered at your touch
So many times it had been crushed
It's need was so, so much
But with gentle hands, and patience sure
You just refused to relent
You tamed my heart, its' beating wild
Denial all but spent
No longer hiding in a fortress strong
But to the world exposed
My heart beats softly, wary still
But not completely closed
To you, at least, it's open wide
No limits in existence
Willing to risk it all for love
Futile, all resistance
And on the battlefield supreme
Where all is won or lost
I have no doubt of victory
And no fear of the cost
For one thing is worth any task demanded
No risk too great to bear
In order to attain love neverending
And another's heart to sure
No dragon too fearsome, no mountain too high
If, at the end of it all
I stand at your side through all of eternity
My heart at your beck and call

You Promised

You promised me forever
But, forever's come and gone
And so have you

You promised me love everlasting
But it didn't last long
At least not for you

You promised me honor and fidelity
But you don't know the meaning of the words
Sadly, for me, I do

You promised to be a father to our son
But he barely knows you
And you know him not at all

You promised so much
You delivered so little
You promised

Love Mourned

I sit here in my lonely room
Full of sadness, darkness, gloom
The world has passed me by, it seems
Stolen my youth, destroyed my dreams

When I was young, my heart aglow
I fell in love; heartache to know
I watched my love turn to another
And from the pain, thought to smother

I built around my heart a wall
Determined not to let it fall
And then Prince Charming sauntered in
And thought my heart his own to win

But I held strong, would not concede
Never again would my heart bleed
How hard he tried, my heart to touch
My strength of will just proved too much

And so he left, in sad defeat
No more for love did he entreat
And as the months turned into years
I saw how foolish were my fears

And now I sit here, all alone
No family to call my own
With no one but myself to blame
For I'm the one who doused the flame

Of love's pure ardor, brave and true
And gave him little else to do
But walk away, and leave me there
Afraid to let him know I cared

Oh yes, I have my dignity
How foolish such a thing can be
I'd rather be held in his arms
All safe, secure and free from harm

And so, I sit here by myself
My hopes and dreams stored on a shelf
Gathering dust, much as I do
Knowing they will never come true

Just waiting for the end to come
Frozen in time, unfeeling...numb
I'll welcome it when it arrives
And ends this sad, and wasted, life

Fantasy Love

For years I mourned the broken vows
The life that should have been
I suffered through the sleepless nights
And never loved again

Occasionally I'd see you
With your new family and wife
And I'd think, "That should be me"
Who gets to share with you your life

But time has passed, my view has changed
And just the other day
I saw you once again, and thought
How'd I ever feel that way

I looked at you, and felt not a thing
Much to my surprise
The fantasy love that I'd held to
Met a quick demise

I saw with my eyes, and not my heart
The years I'd put to waste
Pining over something that never was
Feeling unloved and abased

No longer do you hold the key
To all my happiness
Finally I am free from you
Never to regress

I deserve so much better than you
Plainly now I can see
That you never wore shining armor
Or rode upon a steed

You stole from me my innocence
My belief in fairy tales
My certainty, above all things
That love always prevails

But now I'm taking back my life
And once again I'll dream
Of shining knights, and castles strong
And take the risk supreme

I may live with dreams unanswered
My heart upon my sleeve
My hopes forever unfulfilled
And yet, now I can breathe

My fate is in my own hands now
You have no hold on me
Regardless of what the future holds
From you, at last, I'm free

Miracle of Life

I saw a miracle tonight
It was the wonder in a new mother's eyes
Reflected back by her newborn son
It was in the grasp he had on her finger
And the tears that rolled down her cheeks
I felt it in my heart as I watched them bond
That age old connection between a mother and her child
That love that defies description
Tonight I saw a miracle

That's Life

I loved you when you were just a distant dream
When thoughts of you were just hope, unfulfilled
And the day you became reality
I thought my heart would burst with the love I felt
I've watched you grow with maternal pride
And not one time did you give me heartache
You've been the one, true joy in all my life
Together we've weathered life's ups and downs
And somehow emerged, for the most part, unscathed
Just as I was proud of the boy you were
I am, oh so proud, of the man you've become
Full of honor, integrity, compassion
A gentleman in a time of ill-manners
Soon the time will come for me to step aside
As some young lady steals your heart away
And your dreams are made real, and placed in your arms
And the cycle will start all over again

Joined At The Heart

How did this happen, where has the time gone
Only yesterday, you were a baby in my arms
Today, when I looked at you, I saw a man
Full grown, goals set, school days behind you
Can I release you to face the world on your own
Can I face the world, without you to ground me
Have we learned enough from each other to function alone
Will we ever be, apart, as complete as we are together
You have been so much more than just my son
You've been my strength, my brother, my friend
I only hope that I have been the same to you
I know that I have, for ours has always been a two-way
street
Yet now we go our separate ways, but our connection will
never end
For I have loved you since before you were born
And I'll continue to love you long after I'm gone
We will be, forever, joined at the heart
Neither of us will ever, truly, be alone
Wherever you go, I will be there with you
And I will carry you inside of my heart
We will succeed apart, because we triumphed together

A Dif'rent World

Over the river and through the woods
But where is it that we go?
To spend quality time with the fam'ly?
Or to search out the best snow?

Are our hearts full of Christmas cheer?
Or items for Santa's list?
Do we greet our fellow man with love?
Do we even get the gist?

The season's Spirit is joy and love
Kindness, caring and giving
The one, true time in all of the year
We change the life we're living

And just why is it that that's the case?
Why not in our daily lives?
Can we not continue throughout the year?
Surely we're at least that wise

Think what a dif'rent world ours would be
With love as the guiding light
Do we really have to bow to hate?
To disrespect and to fight?

Let us take this Spirit of Christmas
And let it the whole world span
And live our lives in a new found way
Filled with love for our fellow man

Terri Lyn Stanfield
11/29/2000

Life Begins

Today I watched two newborn babes as they struggled
with the newness of life
One's path smoothed by his family's excited welcome
The other wracked with the tremors of addiction
As one sleeps peacefully, without cares or worries
The other shakes and screams with needs not his own
I know, as I watch them, the lives they will lead
One cherished, loved, pampered, all right with his world
The other neglected, abused, fending for himself
One will grow up strong, confident; knowing his worth
The other will grow up fighting on the mean streets
Just for the chance of survival
But that is the future; today they lay here side by side
Ignorant of all the things we adults are so certain make
us different
Knowing only the need to be loved, and cared for
For today, they are just two newborn babes