Before you read...TURN THOS SPEAKERS! UP!!!

Alt.My.Tenth.Fanfic.Your Dumb Charlie Brown!!!
By TFG14VR.


Dedicated to Charles Schwab, thanks for Snoopy and Charlie and everybody.


Dedicated to Robowang, who read my fanfic! Yay! Read my others, okay? Your my hero!!!! Dedicated to Zepheriumus.

Not dedicated to Jax (who is DUMB) and Aziraphale or Prowlus (who makes NO sense).

New!!! Written with a spell checker!

Sponsored by Pepsi and MegaTelco! Drink that Pepsi! MegaTelco!!!!



Sometime in the future...


Charlie Brown: Lucy, I don't know. I mean, we're kind of young. And what about Linus???

Lucy: I Love Linus but what he doesn't know won't hurt him!

Charlie Brown: Okay.

Lucy pulls down Charlie's pants and bites off his penis!!!

Charlie Brown: Good grief!

Lucy: Bwahahahahahahahahahahah! Now I have my OWN severed penis! Penis envy no more!!!!

Charlie Brown dies.


Elsewhere...


Jax: I'm new to this town.

Some guy: Hey there son, who are you?

Jax: I'm Jax! I'm the stupidest person on Earth!!!!!

Some guy: Oh well, that's great! We need somebody stupid to go in this eclectic cast.

Jax: ;D

A girl walks in.

Jax: This is my sister, Peppermint Fatty.

Some guy: Uh...oh. Patty won't like this...


Elsewhere...


Lucy sits drinking a Pepsi, using MegaTelco.

Lucy calls Peppermint Patty's gay friend--what's-her-name.

Lucy: Hey, you, you know what I got?

What's-Her-Name: A severed penis?

Lucy: Yeah, how'd you know?

What's-Her-Name: I can tell by the sound of you're voice.

Lucy: Damn. I didn't know it was that obvious. Well, the point is, it's Charlie Brown's...

What's-Her-Name: Snoopy won't like this.

Lucy: Fuck Snoopy! I'll fuck up that World War 2 Cock Sucking Ace and Woodstock too.

Jax walks by...drinking a Pepsi.

Lucy's eyes light up.

What's-Her-Name: Lucy, you there?

Lucy: I just saw the perfect man.

What's-Her-Name: I'm gay, sir. All men are the same to me. What makes him perfect?

Lucy: He's stupid.

What's-Her-Name: Makes sense...


Elsewhere...MegaTelco!


Peppermint Fatty drops her pants.

Jax: C'mon, Baby.

Peppermint Fatty: But I'm your sister.

Jax: Gotta keep it in the family, gotta keep it in the family.

Peppermint Fatty: Okay...

Aziraphale comes in and touches Jax's butt.

Jax: Yay! I love me!

Aziraphale: Can I join in?

Peppermint Fatty: But he's not family...

Jax: He is now!!!


Elsewhere...

Lucy: I must have Jax...but how? I know...the severed penis!


Back to Jax's orgy!

Lots of moaning and groaning and stuff.

Lucy jumps in with the severed penis.

Jax's eyes light up.

Jax: Severed...peeeenis.

Jax jumps to the severed penis but is beaten to it by Aziraphale who eats it and runs away laughing "Fools, you thought you could control the severed penis! But it ended up controlling you! Now, NOW it is mine! Yum!"

Jax: Good grief!

The End.

Use MegaTelco! Drink Pepsi!