Alt.Unfunny

Inspired by Aziaphale...who's not funny. Leave the jokes to those with talent. You no talent hack.

Dedicated to all my late brother's fans. God bless him.


Shockwave: I'm bored.

Dirge: Me too.

Shockwave: What do you want to do?

Dirge: Don't know.

Ramjet comes in.

Ramjet: I'm bored.

Shockwave: Us too.

Dirge: Want to do something bad?

Shockwave: Sounds good.

Shockwave: Let's call our gang.

<They call the gang.>

Thrust: Let's do some hurting.

Thundercracker: Yeah.

Starscream: I'm cute. ^.^""

Dirge: Uhm...yeah.

Skywarp: Hey, look over there!

Jax: Where?!?!

Skywarp: How did you get in here?

Jax: It's required by law that I be in every fanfic Billy writes. ;D

Skywarp: Oh. Who's that over there, though?

Dirge: It's Aziaphale. Let's give him some sweet loving.

Aziaphale: I hate being me. So lonely. So fat. Even my mom won't look at me without laughing. God hates me.

God: Yes. Yes I do, Aziaphale.

Aziaphale: God! It's you.

God: Yes. Yes it's me. Look out, you're about to be taken out--like old garbage.

Aziaphale: Huh?

Aziaphale is hit in the back of the head by Dirge.

Dirge: Guys, look what we have here.

Shockwave: It's ugly. Let's skin it alive and make it into pudding!

Dirge: No. Sweet loving. I called it first.

Shockwave: Okay.

They pull down Aziaphale's britches. He cries.

Aziaphale: No! Whatever you do! Don't hurt me.

Thundercracker: Heh. We'll hurt you, JUST BECAUSE YOU DON'T WANT US TOO!!!!

Aziaphale: Uhm...whatever you do...don't let me go. ;)

Thundercracker: Uhm...uh.

Aziaphale: And...uh...whatever you do...don't give me a dollar.

Thundercracker: Dirge! What do I do?

Dirge: What we always do. Destroy! Destroy! Destroy!

Jax: ;D

Aziaphale: Uh-oh.

They tear open Aziaphale's rectum. It bleeds.

Aziaphale: Don't worry. It always does that for the first few minutes. Ignore it.

Dirge: ????

Starscream: I have the same problem. ^.^""

Thundercracker: ????

Shockwave inserts his hand.

Aziaphale screams.

Aziaphale: No! No! Quit! It hurts!

Shockwave: Bwahahahahahahahahahahah.

They keep sticking things into his rectum until he can no longer take it. He quits screaming.


Aziaphale is dead.

Jax: ;D

Aziaphale: X.X

Dirge: ????

Starscream: ^.^""

Shockwave: .

The End.

Aziaphale is a hyppocritter.