TigerMegatron: Good evening, ladies and ---> gentleman. I'll be your narrator
for the night.

Jax: Good evening ladies and gentleman. I'll be your Jax for the night ;D

TigerMegatron: Unfortunately, I don't like to insult the person we are doing a
biography on so soon, but this time I think I have ----> special rights...

::TigerMegatron spouts obscenities at Jax until he cries.::

TigerMegatron: There, now we can begin. Our story starts about 20 years ago,
when Jax was just a wee little boy...

Jax: Ma, how come all the girls have big boobs like me? Am I a girl?

Mom: No, honey. Those are caled "man breasts". Your father has them, too.

Dad: Let's have sex.

::All three have an orgy.::

Jax: Am I good in the sack?? ;P

::Jax is kicked out of the orgy.::

::For a replacement, they use Jax's dog::

***

TigerMegatron: When Jax grew into puberty, his parents
saddened...yes, even more saddened than the day little Jax was born.

TigerMegatron: -----> His parents thought he was nuts, but the poor little boy
wasn't nuts. No, he wasn't crazy at all. Unfortunately Jax had a rare chronic
case called "MSTDA", where the victim repeats and comments on
everything somebody else says.

Mom: Jax, we're having Meatloaf tonight. It's your favorite.

Jax: Sigh, MST time:

Jax'sDinnerMST:

> Mom: Jax, we're having Meatloaf tonight. It's your favorite.

Jax: Great ma. Will there be a side order of "Two out of three ain't bad"??

EndMST

Jax: ;D

Mom:...Get the hell out of this house.

***

TigerMegatron: Jax was forced out of the house and had to live with a pack of
wild geese. Foretunately for Jax, one of the geese happened to be a top music
executive at Island Records. One day, the goose overheard Jax singing in the
shower...

Jax: I wanna hold your hand, I wanna hold your hand...

GooseMusicExecutive: What a voice! Beautiful! *Honk*

Jax: Hey, were you spying on me in the shower??

Goose: Yeah.

Jax: Good :D

Goose: I'm willing to sign you on for a single *Honk* deal if you want it, Jax. *Honk*

Jax: :D !!!

MusicExecutiveGoose: You'll have to come up with your own lyrics and *Honk* song
melodies, though.

LyricsAndSongMelodies: Stay the hell away from us.

Jax: :*( !!!

TigerMegatron: Jax had his own record deal! He could hardly control his
excitement.

***

Jax: Ha ha mom and dad, Island Record is giving me a million dollar contract,
and you're not getting any of my money!! Haha! Look who's wealthy now, I spit
in your face!! You beat me, made fun of me, and now you're paying the ultimate
price!

Jax'sDad: Honey, we love you.

Jax: The check is in the mail.

Jax'sDad: I'd prefer cash, please.

***

TigerMegatron: Now, all Jax had to do was come up with a song. He began
experimenting with different sounds, different colors, and different grooves.

TigerMegatron: Simply put, Jax was taking acid. But the acid aided in his
development of the first song Jax would write...on June 13, 2001, Jax released a
jingle that was reminscent of many songs from the discotheque era.

Segment from Jax's interview with a cow:

Jax: Look, I know the public isn't fond of disco music anymore, but my song is
more than a simple disco. My song, "Disco Ja", is a disco for the new
millenium. It has a steady beat, funky rythem and cathcy vocals provided by
myself. Simply put, this is a disco song for the pop-oriented industry.

Cow: You're aware that every disco song ever made had a "steady beat, funky
rhythem and catchy vocals", correct?

Jax:...;D

TigerMegatron: "DISCO-JA" (Jax put the title in capitol letters because he
thought it would make him look more serious) was a smash hit. It won the award
for Best Disco Song of 2001.

Jax's song:
You can reach, but you can't grab it.
You can hardly control it, you can't bag it...b*tch.
You can push, but you can't direct it.
Circulate, regulate, oh no...you can't connect it.

Oh...;D

Ya know you're chewing on Azi's ass
Ya don't know whaere it's been, but you still want some
You just can't get enough of that funky stuff.
Let's go, let's go...disco Ja.

JA! JA! DISCO-JA!

BOOM-CHA
BOOM-CHA
DISCO JA!
BOOM-CHA
BOOM-CHA
DISCO JA!
;D

TigerMegatron: "Disc-O Ja" went on to sell twenty nine thousand records, and
became the most successful pop single ever.

Joonduh: Stupid Americans ;P/

***

TigerMegatron: But would Jax spend his money wisely? ----> Let's find out...

::Jax is throwing his money into a lawn-mower::

TigerMegatron: Unfertunately, Jax didn't invest in his money wisely enbough.
DISCO JA became a pop phenomenom, but he had nothing to show for it, except his
merchandice and collection of Grammys.

Jax: Hey stranger, do you want to see my various merchandice and collection of
Grammys for two dollars? It's the mauseleom of Jaxerobila!

Zooropaver: If I only want to see the merchandice, can I just pay one dollar?

TigerMegatron: Sadly, few showed up to see ----> Jax's collection. Jax decided to make a second single, "DISCO-JA: THE FIRST MST". The audiences soon realized it was nothing more than a rehash, and left Jax standing in the cold.

Jax: This wouldn't be so bad if I had a coat ;D

Audiences:....

Jax: ;*(

TigerMegatron: What would a poor singer do? In Jax's situation, he decided to
release a second MST single.

Jax: In my opinion, two wrongs make a right...so the music audiences should love
this one.

TigerMegatron: "DISCO JA: THE SECOND MST" sold nine copies.

Jax: I bought seven of them ;D

TigerMegatron: Jax was no longer swinging elbows with ---> the rich. He was
now a nice, normal fellow. But it was all a disguise.

Jax: Hey ATT, I'm cool.

ATT: You're a f*cking corrupt pop singer, that's what you are :D

Jax: That's mean /:P

ATT: SHUTUP.

TigerMegatron: ATT was through with him, and the public saw his impact on music to be wavering. Jax needed to make another album, quick.

TigerMegatron: So, what did Jax do? While burrowed under his dad's basement, he devised a plan. Jax finally realized something that day: The public didn't want bad songs. They wanted good songs. Of course! Jax finally found out! The public likes to listen to GOOD music! :D GOOD MUSIC!! :D :D :D

Zephramus: News to me.

TigerMegatron: Now with a new mentality, Jax had an idea. To come up with the
single greatest album EVER. ----> It would have sentimentality, catchiness and
an impact that would last for ages. On August, Friday 13th, 2005, Jax would
release what would be hailed as "the greatest album since the great album from
2004". The public would buy it by the dozen. And God would look down with not
a vengeful frown, but a happy smile.

God: See, I'm doing this, :D, not this >:( .

TigerMegatron: That's right, on August 13th, 2005, Jax
released...

;D

TigerMegatron: ";D", Jax's new album, would eventually win Grammys for album of
the year, rock album of the year, blues album of the year, heavy metal album of the
year, pop album of the year, and ragtime album of the year. He lost out in the
pop album of the year catergory, though, to Britney Spears with her hit "Ohh
Baby Baby Opps I did it again Baby Baby Ohh".

Jax: There's two reasons why the CD did so good. One, it was a sh*tty year
for music. Two, I really tapped in to different influences with the album.
Thirdly, it came at a time when Americans were looking for a way to break away
from fighting.

Jax: Oh, and it had a retail price of 4.99. Yeah, ";D" is definitly my best
album to date.

TigerMegatron: Jax didn't skimp out in any department with his new record, truth
be told. All 12 tracks were a sigh of relief for the desperate listening
audience. Many of ---> the songs went into detail on Jax's childhood life,
which he rarely talked about in the past. Now, he wasn't afraid to discuss it.

INTERVIEW segment with Dan Rathers:

Rathers: I understand your child years growing up weren't very pleasent, Jax...I
also understand you don't like to discuss them much, so if you don't want to-

Jax: I was beat, I was anal raped, I still am. And I liked it. I moved on.

Rathers:...

Jax:...:/

Rathers: Goodnight, America.

TigerMegatron: Eventually, Jax went back to being what he was most famous for:
An annoying, stupid ATTer. And the newsgroup welcomed him back with open arms.

Jax: Hi guys ;D

ATT: HI JAX!!!

Jax: It's great to be back, I'm glad you have forgiven me for my past ways. Now
I hope we can all be friends again. :P

HooperX: *plonk*
Hyperton: *plonk*
Sandrah: *plonk*
Trypticon: *plonk*, in the garden under the TM2 tweety bird.
Zooboomaver: *plonk*
Zephramus: *plonk*
BrianKirby: *plonk*
MadMadMadMadMax: *plonk*
AlexJ334579Fuckhead97: *plonk*
Joonduh: In Finland, it's pronounced "aplonka" (:-{|})
Sandrah: *plonk*
Scccylla: *plonk*
DuoMaskell:
Aziphrale: *plonk*

Jax: Azi, we were friends!

Aziraphale: I'm not so sure about you :D

TigerMegatron: Jax now had a loving relationship with the newsgroup, billions of
dollars, and freedom of mind. All was well. There was only one thing he was
missing...

Billy: A severed penis!!!

Jax: Good grief!