Prowl: I know it's a stupid question, but what happened to Jax?

TrypticonX: There are no stupid questions, me boogie, only stupid Jax.

ATT: Amen.

Prowl: But...couldn't he be dead or something? We should really check on him...

Elsewhere, high above the mountains in a silver eagle...

Jax: Who would've ever thought that silver eagles would be domesticated and used for transportation? I find things interesting, especially things I don't really understand. Like where does the poopy go when I flush and where do the little puppies go when I choke them to death...?

The passenger beside of Jax looks at him and responds.

Passenger beside of Jax: Quit talking to me.

Jax: Ja, I left ATT because nobody seemed to like me. There was only one person who ever liked me--he was me and I was him and we did it A LOT. Now I just do it by myself, but I'm not me and he's dead. I wish I could stop killing but that's what doctors are for, I guess. I don't understand why I like hurting things, I find it very interesting. Very interesting like everything else, everything else that I don't understand.

Passenger: Don't you get it, Jax? You kill things because you are dumb and dumb people will never do anything productive. That and you are a very lonely creature, that's why you need ATT and that's why you post stupid things--because you don't want to kill. You need to find someone and settle down. In fact, I sell inflatable dolls, that would be a good place to start. I have a couple in cargo if you would like to purchase one.

Jax: Really...?

Passenger: Really. Now why don't you--

A terrible explosion is heard! BOOM!

The plane goes down over the high sea.

Jax and a few crates wash up on shore.

Jax: Did I do that?

Elsewhere...

ATT: Probably.

Back on the beach...

Jax: What am I gonna do here? This is a deserted island, I'm not gonna make any friends here. What am I gonna do for food? For love? For killing? I hate this. D;

A few hours pass. Jax has built a city in the tree-tops, Jaxville.

Jax: Finally a place to call me. ;D

Jax: Now I need some food. Let's see what's in these crates.

Jax opens a crate.

Jax: Hm. The first crate has an inflatable doll. That's good for company, but not too good for food. It's good for killing, I suppose, but I usually like to feel the life drain from in between my fingers as I choke them to death. If only Azi were here to show me how to kill. He's so damn good at it.

Jax opens another crate.

Jax: Food! Edible panties are food, right?

Elsewhere...

ATT: Probably.

Back in Jaxville. Jax drives by a street corner in his coconut-car, he propositions the inflatable doll on the street corner.

Jax: Hey, inflatable honey, want to have some fun.

Jax mimicing the doll's voice: Sure big fella, let's hump.

Jax: ;D

Jax puts the doll in the back seat.

Jax: I see that you have on your edible panties, I'm hungry so...

Jax eats her panties and sighs.

Jax: I could do this forever.

The next morning...

Jax: I'm hungry, let's see if that doll has any inflatable panties on...

Jax finds the doll.

Jax: Nope, she's going eu naturale.

Jax puts on the edible panties and eats breakfast.

Jax: I could do this forever.

Fifteen years later...

Jax: I need some lunch. Does that doll have on any panties?

Jax checks the doll.

Jax: Nope, she hasn't grown any since I ran out fourteen years ago. This sucks. D; Being stranded on a deserted island isn't as fun as it was when I washed up. Won't anything improve my current situation?

Jax turns on the coconut TV.

Commercial: Tired of being stranded on a deserted island in a city of your own design? We can help. Call 1-888-Away-Deserted-Island for your rescue. Remember that's 1-888-Away-Deserted-Island to be rescued.

Jax:... I never built a phone. D:<

A few weeks later a ship stops on the island.

Jax: You're here to rescue me!? ;D

Pirate: No, we're here to plunder and kill you. We work for the Dread Pirate Roberts, he never takes prisonders and--hey, is that an inflatable doll?

Jax: Ja, she's my wife. ;D

Pirate: I never thought that you had an inflatable doll. We get lonely on the pirate ship and maybe we can work out an arrangement. I'll take you to my boss.

The pirate takes Jax to the Dread Pirate Roberts.

Dread Pirate Roberts: I don't take prisoners but I never had a lackey, you can try if you might, but I'll probably kill you in the morning.

Jax: Ja, sounds good.

Dread Pirate Roberts: Go empty my bed pan.

Jax: Ja, can I eat it?

Dread Pirate Roberts: ...

Jax: What you don't know won't hurt you, Ja? ;D

The next evening...

Dread Pirate Roberts: Jax, shine my shoes, brush my teeth and wash my clothes and I'll probably kill you in the morning.

Jax: Ja, good. Thanks. ;D

Time passes, that routine is played out every night. "Shine my shoes, brush my teeth, wash my clothes and I'll probably kill you in the morning." It continued on and on and on until the Dread Pirate Roberts and Jax became lovers.

Dread Pirate Roberts: Jax, toss my salad, give me a head job, suck on my nipple and I'll probably kill you in the morning.

Time passes, that routine is played out every night. "Toss my salad, give me a head job, suck on my nipple and I'll probably kill you in the morning." It continued on and on, with Jax gleefully complying. It continued until the Dread Pirate Roberts told Jax...

Dread Pirate Roberts: I am not the real Dread Pirate Roberts. My name is Keith, I inherited the name from the Dread Pirate Roberts before me, he was not the real Dread Pirate Roberts either. I, too, shall one day pass the name.

Jax: Why are you telling me this?

Dread Pirate Roberts: I wanted to be honest with you, as I am taking you for my wife. We'll be so happy together. Can't you imagine it? Early mornings, sunrises over the crystal sea, waking up with jizzom in your rectum? It's a slice of heaven it is.

Jax: Aaargh, matie. A pirate's life for me. ;D

The End.