[Funfic] Masters of The Universe.
By TFG14VR

The Cast of Characters:
He-Man: Billy
Skeletor: Aziaphale
Man-at-Arms: Prowl
Fisto: Prowlus
Moss-Man: Some Guy
Beast Man: Some other Guy.
Man-E-Faces: Jax
Faker: Jax
Mer-Man: TigerMegatron1
Teela: Blue-Jackal
Sorceress: Brian Kirby
Orko: Zepherimus
Cringer/Battlecat: TrypticonX
Tri-Klops: Chris McFeely

In the Nether Regions of ATT...

Skeletor: Bwahahahahahah! I have done it! Yes! I have!

Mer-Man: What is --> that (Skeletor)?

Skeletor: I have a fool-proof plan! I'll destroy He-Man and people will love me!

Beast Man: Very good, master. Qwe reprialle qwintro!!!!!

Tri-Klops: I'm evil and see everything.

Faker: ;D

In the Good Regions of ATT...

He-Man: I sense a great disturbance in the force, Cringer.

Cringer: Force it out, yes, with only a slight amount of pudding makes very good bingo, N-Bomb.

He-Man: You feel it too? I thought so.

Cringer: I feel you as a Jax.

He-Man: That's not good, Cringer. Not good at all.

Man-at-Arms: I think I can build a device to locate and observe the problem.

He-Man: You do that, I'll go hit on Teela.

He-Man walks over to Teela.

He-Man: Hey there, baby. Wanna go feel the power of Greyskull?

Teela: No, thanks I got a take a bath tonight.

Fisto: Can I watch?

Fisto masturbates violently.

He-Man: Fisto, please, could you do that elsewhere? You're getting blood all over us.

Fisto: Sorry...

Man-at-Arms: I can't get the machine to work.

He-Man: Dammit!

Man-at-Arms: But my mom said Skeletor is behind this EVEN THOUGH SHE DIDN'T EVEN KNOW THERE WAS A PROBLEM!!!!!

He-Man: So, that Skeletor fellow is causing the disturbance in the force. What do you know of him, Orko?

Orko: I hear he's Dutch, He-Man.

He-Man: I'm terribly sorry to hear that.

Orko: Other than that, he has a skull for a face.

He-Man: He must be terribly lonely, having an ugly face, being Dutch and all that. I even believe it's his birthday. Let's take him a present.

Cringer: Present him a horribly disfigured Dutch, He-Man.

He-Man: Good idea, Cringer.

Man-E-Faces: I have an idea He-Man. ;D

Man-E-Faces turns into robot mode.

Man-E-Faces: *Bzzzt* Maybe we should *Bzzzt* make him a present and use it as a type of Trojan Horse. ;D

Man-E-Faces turns into beast mode.

Man-E-Faces: Maximize! Raaaargh. ;D

He-Man: But does that go by the rules of fair play?

Orko: To HELL with fair play, He-Man!

He-Man: You make a good point, friend. This *is* a pickle. What do you say, Man-at-Arms?

Man-at-Arms: I have a machine that cooks pickles.

He-Man: Indeed.

He-Man: Now I'll turn into He-Man--.

Orko: But you already are He-Man.

He-Man: Well, that saves us some time, doesn't it? Let's go to find Skeletor's present!

Elsewhere...

Skeletor:

[ATT RPG] Heathe comes to Frog Town

Heathe: This is Frog Town isn't it?

Frog Man: Yes yes it is--.

HOLD IT!

Spamticon interrupts the fanfic.

Spamticon: Hold it, hold it, hold it. Isn't it obvious? Jax is Billy!

The ATT Community: Surely you jest. How could Jax be Billy?

Spamticon: Isn't it obvious? Jax is Billy!

The ATT Community: But do you have any proof?

Spamticon: Isn't it obvious? Jax is Billy!

The ATT Community: Dear God...Jax is Billy!

Jax: ... Dear God. I'm BILLY!?! n_n

Elsewhere, Jax's home where he is drinking a Pepsi...

Jax's Mom: Jax, what are you doing?

Jax: Writing obscene stories about me and my person.

Jax's Mom: That's good dear. Keep it up.

Jax's Dad: What did he say he was doing?

Jax's Mom: Masturbating to the book of Revelations again.

Jax's Dad: Poor kid, next think you know he'll be writing obscene stories about himself.

Jax's Mom: Heehahahaehheehahahaha!

Jax's Dad: Bwahahaheehahaheheha! Nah, THAT will never happen! {;D+=

Back in Jax's room...

Jax: If I were Billy, and apparently I am, what would I do to myself? I'd write a story where I get raped by a horse! Wait...would I *me* do that or would I *Billy* do that. I mean, if it were I *me* I don't think I would be writing stories about myself but I do. If I were Billy I would be writing stories about other people and not myself. I'm lost. D;

Jesus: Yeh, verily I have found thee and will comfort thee in Father Abraham's bosom. Only if ye accept me as your personal savior.

Jax: You...don't want to make fun of me?

Jesus: No, my son. For I died for your sins on mount Calvary. That you and everyone else could be saved.

Jax: What do I have to do to get that!? Sex?

Jesus: No my son, to receive eternal life all you have to do is accept me as your father and believe in me.

Jax: ;D Done!

Jesus: Verily I say unto thee that you are my son and you will live forever in Heaven. You and all other believers shall live in perfect and live in the land where milk and honey flow.

Jax: What about those who...don't believe in you? D;

Jesus shakes his head.

Jesus: Verily they will be cast into the pit of fire as they were given every chance to come to me, to love me as their father.

Jax: Why?

Jesus: Because it's the only way.

Jax: Why?

Jesus: Because that's what it says in the Bible.

Jax: Why?

Jesus: Because that's the only way to get to Heaven. Every person who has read my book knows this. It's all part of the deal.

Jax: Why?

Jesus: ...

Jax: What if they don't read your book? How will they find you? Are you listed in the yellow pages?

Jesus: ....

Jax: What about those without a phone? How will they reach you then? Your deal sucks ass, Jesus.

Jesus: Back into the pit of HELL you go!

Jesus sends Jax to Hell.

Jax: Well, you'll never get anywhere with an attitude like *that*.

Satan: Hi there Jax. Do you want to play BINGO?

Jax: Yes please.

Satan: Sorry, NOT IN HELL!

Jax: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!

An alarm clock goes off.


Jax: Whew, that was only a dream.

A light goes off in Jax's noggin.

Jax: THAT would make a GREAT funfic! I'm Billy aren't I? Or was that part of the dream?

Optimus Prime: I think you're still asleep, Jax.

Jax; EVEN BETTER! ;D


Jax writes the funfic about his adventure in Hell and posts it to ATT.

[Jax's Funfic] My Time in Hell.

Chris McFeely: LOL.

Jax: Boing.

Prowl: Whoop! Whoop! Whoop! Whoop!

Chris McFeely: LOL!

Jax: I'm a car.

Prowl: Boing! Boing! Boing!

The End.


ATT: Your fanfics SUCK, Jax.

Spamticon: I still think he's Billy....

ATT: We don't.

Spamticon: Okay, I don't either.

Jax: ;D

The End.

(C) MMI TFG14VR Studios

Billy: Wait!?!?

ATT: What?

Billy: What about the other story?

ATT: Whoops. <Blush>

Jax: Wait, aren't I Billy?

Billy: ...hehahehehehehehehehahehehahehehaehaheheheh. No.

Jax: Oh.

Jax's heart quits beating because of the massive amounts of stupidity blocking his brain arteries.


Back to Masters of the Universe, already in progress.



Skeletor: A present!?!

He-Man: Yes, a present.

Skeletor: But I've slaughtered your people. Teela is dead. Man-at-Arms has no arms...I cut them off.

He-Man: I respect the irony, Skeletor.

Skeletor: But--but why?!

He-Man: My mission was to give you a birthday present...no matter the cost.

He-Man starts to sing:

He-Man: Happy birthday to you. Happy birthday to you. Happy birthday dear Skeletor. Happy birthday to you.

Skeletor: But...it's not my birthday.

He-Man: Oh.

He-Man lobs off Skeletor's head with his sword.

He-Man: That was remarkably easy.