[Funfic] Make Room for ;D
By TFG14VR

Jax: Lucy, I'm home!

Aziaphale: Riiiickyyyy, I lost my job again today.

Jax: Lucy, Lucy, Lucy. What'd I tell-a you I'd do if you lost-a your job again?

Aziaphale: Waaaaahhhh. You said you'd beat me again. Waaaaaahhhh.

Jax: And that's-a exactly what-a I'm gonna do too. ;D

Jax bitch-slaps Azi.

Jax: You like-a that don't ya, bitch?

Aziaphale: Waaaaah Riiiickyyyy.


"So, Jax. What's the answer?"

Jax snaps out of his day dream (that's what that was.)

Jax: What, teacher?

Teacher: I asked you what the answer was to my question! Weren't you paying attention?

Jax: No.

Teacher: What'd I say about your ADD again?

Jax: You'll beat it out of me?

Teacher: Good, you remember.

Teacher beats the ADD out of Jax.

Teacher: Now, Jax. What was the answer to the question. I asked you, "what color is this blue triangle?"

Jax: Leprechaun?

Teacher: Anyone else know the color of this blue triangle?

Prowl raises his hand.

Teacher: Yes, Prowl?

Prowl: Triangle?

Teacher: No, anyone else?

Jax raises his hand.

Teacher: Do you have it now, Jax?

Jax: Yes mam.

Teacher: I'm not female.

Jax: Yes sir, the blue rectangle is four.

Teacher: No.

Jax: Chocalate?

Teacher: No. Anyone el--.

Jax: Fire?

Teacher: No. Anyon--

Jax: Sad?

Teacher: No, Jax. It's none of those things. Jax, I have a very important question for you. Now this is an answer that you can't get wrong, okay?

Jax: Okay. ;D

Teacher: Now stand up here in front of the class and answer my question.

Jax stands up.

Teacher: Jax, why are you so f*cking stupid?

Jax: Uhm...uhm.

Jax thinks for a while.

Jax: Uhm...because God made me this way?

Teacher: No, Jax. God doesn't make mistakes.

God: Well, now that I think of it, leaving no evidence of my existence may have been a mistake but what are you gonna do?

Jax wanders back into his fantasy world...

Omnipotroll: Hi, I'm a troll. I do things to get on people's nerves but I'm not smart enough to stay away from the big King of the group, TFG14over.

Zephreimus: Who the f*ck is TFG14over?

Jax: I think he means TFG14VR.

Zephreimus: Shut up, Jax.

Jax: Okay. ;D

Zephreimus: I was pointing out that this guy can't spell. He's an f*ckhead and unworthy of our time.

Aziaphale: But Billy can't spell either.

Zephreimus: Shut the f*ck up.

Billy enters the scene.

Billy: Hey, 'sup?

Omnipotroll: Oh my goodness, it's you!

Omnipotroll bows down at Billy's feet.

Omnipotroll: I'm so unworthy. I didn't mean the things that I said earlier and I shouldn't have put my signature in the story where I was pretending to be you.

Billy: It's okay.

Billy bitch-slaps Omnipotroll.

Aziaphale rapes Omnipotroll for good measure.

Aziaphale: I do it because I love my job. :)

Jax: Now that his anus is full of Dutch Jizzom, what good is he to the rest of us?

Omnipotroll: Dutch jizzom? Now I only have seventeen more types of jizzom left to go! Thanks, Azi!

Aziaphale: No, thank you. ;)

Omnipotroll: Now I only need Jizzum from Thailand, Czechoslovakia and Portugal. And fourteen other countries which escape me at this moment.

Zephreimus: Thailand, huh?

Zephreimus looks at Joona.

Joona: Don't even think about it.

Jax: I'm from Thailand. ;D

Jax and Omnipotroll get it on.

Jax: So, Omnipotroll. Where are you from?

Omnipotroll: America.

Jax: America!? What a coincidence, I need American jizzom in my rectum to complete MY collection. ;D

Omnipotroll: Eew.

Jax cries. D;

Jax wakes up from the day dream.

Jax: That wasn't as good as my other dream. That was more like one of Billy's funfics! Curse his brilliance!

Teacher: Now Jax, what's the capitol of Washington state?

Jax: Washington State City?

Teacher: No it's--wait. I'm not sure what the capitol is. You may be right. Let me look in my Teacher's Edition.

Teacher checks.

Teacher: Jesus Christ, Jax. You got one right! The Teacher's Edition says that the capitol of Washington state is Washington State City. That's amazing.

Jax: I'm a genius.

Teacher: Now, let's see if we have a budding prodigy on our hands. What's two plus three?

Jax thinks on it for a while?

Jax: ...popsicle?

Teacher checks the Teacher's Edition.

Teacher: Nope, it says the answer is December 7th, 1879.

Jax: Oh. Does this mean I won't get to graduate.

Teacher: No it means you get to--.

A voice comes over the intercom.

Voice: Attention class. We have a new foreign exchange student on the way and we want you to make him feel at home, so quit bathing, get a snooty attitude and talk with a funny accent. He'll be here next Thursday. You think you can do that? That is all.

Next Thursday comes.

Principal: Now school, we have a new exchange student. You could say, we exchanged him for Jax. ;D Say hello to Aziaphale.

Aziaphale: (Speaking in a Swdish accent) Ja, you exchanged Jax for me. Smart move.

Principal: No, actually, we traded him to an old homo for some bubble gum.

Aziaphale: (Swedish accent) Ja, can I have his number?

Principal: No.

Aziaphale: (Swedish accent) Okay. I was told to kill some time, so I thought I'd tell you about my home country. It's a really old country and it stinks a lot. It's called the Dutchland or something. I don't know what you call it in English. We're gonna get electricity sometime next year, we're looking forward to that. Ja, and when we're babies, we're sold to the circus where we learn stuff for our occupations. I majored in juggling and sticking my head into lion's mouths. Any questions.

Student raises his hand.

Student: Why are you so fat and ugly?

Aziaphale: I hate Billy.

Elsewhere.

Old Homo: So, Jax, you ready to get your pipes cleaned one more time?

Jax: Can I read the permission slip again?

Old Homo: Sure, here you go.

Jax reads the permission slip.

Slip: We give the school permission to trade our son for a pack of gum to an old pervert who will rape him for the duration of his natural life--or until he kills himself. Signed: Jax's dad. {;D{=

Jax: I was hoping it was different this time. Yeah, rape away.

The End.