Aziaphale: I need to go threaten Billy, and then be too much of a pussy to
follow
through.

Azi goes to ATT. Azi threatens Billy and is too much of a pussy to follow
through.
Later...

Jax: Hi Azi. Wanna have sex?

Aziaphale: ...not with you.

Jax: D;

Aziaphale: I'm gonna buy a hooker.

Azi goes to find a hooker. Azi sees a girl standing on a sidewalk.

Aziaphale: Are you a hooker?

Girl: I'm a NUN, you idiot!

Aziaphale: Oh. So, is $5 enough?

The nun prays. Lightning strikes Azi.

Aziaphale: Uh.. $10?

The Nun: Grrr...

The nun prays again. A safe falls on Azi. Then an anvil falls on Azi. Then a
building collapses on Azi.

Aziaphale (from under the rubble): $15?

The nun says some things a nun shouldn't say, and leaves. Azi tries to run
after her, but he's too fat and loses his breath after taking three steps.

Aziaphale (yelling to the nun): How about $20?

The nun makes a gesture she really shouldn't have and leaves.

Aziaphale: $1? Hey! Where are you goi - aw, she's gone.

Azi sees somebody else.

Aziaphale: Are you a hooker?

Somebody else: No, I'm a cop, and you're under arrest.

Aziaphale: But that woman was a Nun! Not a hooker!

Cop: I'm not arresting you for that.

Aziaphale: Oh good.

Cop: I'm arresting you for being stupid.

Aziaphale: Oh...

Later in court...

Judge: How do you plead?

Aziaphale: Are you a hooker? I've got $20 here!

Judge: No. I sentence you to 30 days in jail, and 5 years of helping old
people use the bathroom in retirement homes.

Aziaphale: Huh.

Azi goes to jail. Azi shares a cell with a guy named Biff.

Aziaphale: Are you a hooker?

Biff: I'm your big daddy, now bend over.

Biff ass rapes Azi.

Aziaphale: Aw. I only wanted a hooker...

The end.