FUNFIC #48: X-Entertainment(and Jetbolt) Goes There! :D

In a message dated April 10th, 2001, Jetbolt writes on ATT...

"Hey guys! This is Jetbolt. Something incredible has happened at
X-E.com...they put up a new article! Go see it for yourself. Oh and
btw, could we trim down on the off-topic junk? Especially you stupid
wiigii! jerks? Well, see ya!"

Jetbolt sends his new message to ATT.

DarwinnianRoadKill: Hmm...I like his style :>

Jetbolt: Ah, a job well done. X-E rocks!

Jetbolt really works at X-Entertainment in case you didn't know.

Jetbolt: That is indeed correct :)

But his job occupation in the public world is "Computer Specialist".
In other words he has no life.

Jetbolt: I'm a master in espionage :)

Hooks clenches his teeth and prepares to kick his ass.

Meanwhile...

"The Dangers of Corey Haim and Facts of Life: Part 9!!!"

X-E_DrRocket: It's so fun writing X-E articles. Hahaha I have real
talent. Maybe I'll see if the usual fans on the X-E forum have read
my new article yet

X-E_Scott: By fans you mean us impersonating fake people, right?

Suddenly, a man's voice rings out.

X-E_Matt: Hey DrRocket, come here for a second...

Suddenly a supermodel's voice rings out.

CindyCrawford: Hey DrRocket, ignore that man. Wanna show me your
OTHER rocket instead??

DrRocket: *gasp*... Matt, the owner and sexy icon of X-E, just called
my name!

Scott: He freaking RULES!!

Matt: Yeah. I know :)

DrRocket: What is your command oh gratious leader?

Matt: I wanna know what pair of sunglasses will make me look coolest
for the X-E camera images.

Matt shows a collection of ten different shades that he might possibly
wear.

DrRocket: Hmm. Well, Matt, put those long black glasses on.

Matt: Okay.

Matt puts the long black glasses on and tries to act cute while
holding a stuffed Squirtle.

FemaleReader: Awww! He's so handsome! What a stud!

EveryoneElse: Blarrg! Enough, I've lost the will to live!

DrRocket: Yep Matt, you're a looker alright :)

Matt: :D

Matt flocks his hands through his "adorable" hair and the same female
woman from before goes wild.

Female: Yes yes!!! More Matt, more!!!!!!!

EveryoneElse: Half of us have commited suicide :/

DrRocket: Alright Matt! Your sexy good looks and witty attidtude have
given our web page a MILLION HITS today!

Matt: Really??

DrRocket: No, but saying that on the web site gives us a good
reputation. Like UGO.

Scott: LOL, UGO is a funny name. Like CBS. Or George Lucas

DrRocket: Let's write an article about George Lucas! Better yet let's
write an article about the Star Wars X-Mas Special!!

Matt: Great idea guys! I'll give you the twelve articles I've written
about it already to inspire you.

DrRocket: Thanks Matt! But...I forget how to copy and paste :/

Female: Matt, you're the cutest thing ever! Do that thing with your
hair and eyes again on the camera where you try acting serious but
deep down your just posing for the camera! I love you!! :D

Matt: Thanks! Whats your name?

Female: Err...I'd rather not say.

Matt: Why's that?

Female:...

Matt:...

Female:...

Matt:...

Male:.... :/

Matt: Oh God, you're a man? Well, are you at least an attractive
looking one?

Male: My name is Aziaphale ;D

Right then and there, Matt shoots himself in the head with an
elctro-bolt from Pikachu's ass.

DrRocket: Oh no, our head writer and web-page manager! Dead! Sorry
everyone but X-Entertainment is now officially closed down :( :( :(

EveryoneAroundTheWorld: Yessssss!!!!! Free at last!

Scott: *sigh* We'll miss you Matt, old buddy...I can guarantee that.

DrRocket: I can't live without Matt's guidance! AHHHH!!

Dr Rocket commits suicide. Meanwhile, a man pisses in a toilet.

The next day, the www.x-entertainemt.com web site adress was bought
out and turned into a site where children's heads are cut off and then
eaten by a man under the name of "Dave".

Still, as gruesome as it now was, the new X-Entertainment page managed
to garner more hits than the old one.

Jetbolt: I also like to eat donuts ;D

The End!
Epilog

In a cubicle in Heaven...
Matt: Some days are definitly better than others :/ ...say, that gives
me an idea for a new article to write! Dr Rocket, how many articles
have we written about Mr T?

Rob: 47.

Matt: Great! :D Add one more to the tally...

Gary Coleman: Now it's time for The End! And that's what I'm talkin'
about!