[Jax mini Funfic] Chris McFeely goes to the supermarket

Here is my "Funfic"

[DISCLAMER]:
<This is only to get back at Billy, his fics about me, and all those who
encourage him>

Now, lets begin...

<Chris McFeely goes to the supermarket>

(One bright, sunny day...)

[Chris's mom] CHRIS!!!! GET YOUR LAZY ASS DOWN HERE!

[Chris] <Runs off his computer> What is is, mother dearest?

[Chris's mom] I need you to run to the store. We're all out of Potato Chips
and Lard Hunks.

[Chris] Oh, mom, you know how Lard Hunks are my favorite! Thanks so much for
letting me get some!

[Chris's mom] I know. They're my favorites too...

<They hug>

[All] Awww....

[Chris's mom] ...SO NONE FOR YOU!!!!

[Chris] Aww... <Puppy face> ...Please?

[Chris's mom] F***... you know that look always gets me! Ok, you can have
what's left when I'm full...

[Chris] But that means I'll get none!

[Chris's mom] Exactly!

[Chris] LAUGHING OUT LOUD!!!!!

[Chris's mom] Shut up. Now.

[Chris] Darn... <Walks to Star Basket>

<In store...>

[TFG14VR] Excuse me, do you know Jax?

[Chris] I know *of* him...

[TFG14VR] Do you know where he lives? I'm spying on him to see if he does
anything funny, but I lost him when I was arrested for stalking...

[Chris] Sorry, I don't know his address...
That's so funny...
<Shouting>LAUGHING OUT LOUD!!!!

[Manager looks up]

[Chris] SORRY!

[TFG14VR] Aww, darn...

<Walks to another person>

[TFG14VR] Excuse me, can you make a device to track down Jax's natural
energy signature?

[Prowl] Who are you, and why do you keep following me?

[TFG14VR] <Hides shirt with his name on it> Umm, I'm Frank Jopinhimer.

[Prowl] <Gets out lie detector> Heh, not that I need this, but...

[TFG14VR] Aww, shit. <Runs out of store>

[Prowl] <Grin>

[Chris] That Billy... <Shouting> I'M LAUGHING OUT LOUD!!!!!!! HA! HA!
HA!!!!!

[Manager comes over] I thought you said that was the last time you would do
that in my store!

[Chris] Sorry...

<Walks over to "Fat Obese Obnoxious Dork" food section>

[Chris] <Looks at shelf> WTF?!?!?! THEY'RE ALL OUT OF LARK HUNKS!!!

[Employee] Yup, we're all out. Last week, we got a giant order form a "Mrs.
McFeely"...

[Chris] Eeep! <Mutters "Mom! Jeez...."> Oh, well, we'll have to put up with
"Little Fatty" blubber muffins...

[Chris] This is the right time for...
<Shouting> LAUGHING OUT LOUD!!!!

[Manager holding gun] Get. Out. Of. My Store.

[Chris] Ok, sir. <Carries whole shelf out of store>

[Chris] Jeez, this is heavy... Excuse me!

[Optimus Prime] Yes?

[Chris] Could you give me a hand with this?

[Optimus] Do you know Billy?

[Chris] Yes...

[Optimus] Do you like Billy's fics?

[Chris] Well, they're not about me, so, yeah!

[Optimus] Then I can't help you. But I know people who can...

[Chris, turning red] Really? Who?

[Optimus] <Points to mental hospital>

[Chris puts down all the muffins] But it's hard making new friends in new
hospitals... I had to leave all my friends when I moved from the last five!

[Optimus] Well, you know, Billy lives there...

[Chris] Really! WOW! I'll go there as soon as I get these blubber muffins to
my mom! She gets angry when she's hungry. I still have the marks to prove
it!

[Optimus] O_o

[Chris] @_@

[Optimus] Don't DO that!

[Ultra Magnus] Yeah! I can't DEAL with that right now!

[Optimus] Skadoodle, soilder.

[Magnus] Yes, SIR!

[Chris] Shit!

[Spike] Oh, shit, what are we gonna do now?

[Optimus] Shut up, Spike. Chris, what is it?

[Chris] I forgot the potato chips!
<Shouting> LAUGHING OUT LOUD!!!!!

[Optimus, covering where ears would be] Primus, SHUT THE F*** UP!!!

[Chris] Ok. Let me drag these muffins home...

<Drags muffins home>

[Chris's mom] WHERE THE F*** WERE YOU? I'M HUNGRY!

[Chris] Sorry. There were out of Lark Hunks. I got Blubber Muffins, though.

[Chris's mom] Humph.

[Chris] Listen, I forgot the potato chips, so I have to run, or waddle as
the case may be, to Shaw's Market, 'cause they won't let me in to Star
Basket. Don't eat any muffins while I'm gone!

[Chris's mom, crossing fingers] Ok, I won't.

[Chris] Good. As I say on the internet, "Bee Are Bee"

[Chris's mom] As I say to you, 'Double-you Tee Eff does that mean?

[Chris] Never mind... Hey, I'm... LAUGHING OUT LO-

[Chris's mom gets out a big cannon]

[Chris runs out of the house]

<At Shaw's Market>

[TFG14VR is hiding in the bushes, spying on some kids]

[TFG14VR] Hmm, he sure is sexy...

[Guy] Um, will you quit staring at me?

[TFG14VR] HOW DID YOU SEE ME? I HAD MY MAGIC BARNEY HAT ON!!!!

[Guy] Riiiiight.

[Chris] LAUGHING OU-

[Another person] INCOMING!!!!

[Chris] Eh?

[Bomb blows Chris into a million pieces, but since this is a fic...]

[Chris pulls himself together, literally] Great stuff as always! But, oww,
that hurt... Hey! I'M LAUGHING OUT LOU-

[Megatron aims cannon]

[Chris] Sorry!

<Walks into Shaw's Market>

[Chris] Hmm, potato chips, potato chips, potato chips... There they are!

<Pulls out 20 "Kong'' sized bags, and runs out of the store without paying>

[Manager] YOU *** **** ************ ******* ******!!! Never set foot in my
store again!!!

[Chris] I'M LAUGHING OU-

[Megatron fires his cannon, killing Billy, and sending Chris flying back to
his house]

[Chris brushes himself off, and sees all the blubber muffins wrappers are on
the floor]

[Chris] Hey!!! You said you weren't going to eat the chips!

[Chris's mom] So I lied!

[All cast members smile, bow, and say] LAUGHING OUT LOUD!!!!

<Corny music plays>

[THE END]

[Chris] LAUGHING O-

<KA-BOOM!!!!>

[REALLY the end]