goto puzzle
goto about Bangalore, India
Here are some conversations, which had actually happened between help-desk people and their Sardarji customers in Punjab
{ More likely they are blonde jokes been converted to Sardar ones ! } :
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Sardarji: "You've got to fix my computer. I urgently need to print a document, but the computer won't boot properly."
Tech Support: "What does it say?"
Sardarji: "Something about an error and non-system disk."
Tech Support: "Look at your machine. Is there a floppy inside?"
Sardarji: "No, but there's a sticker saying there's an Intel inside."
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Tech Support: "Just call us back if there's a problem. We're open 24 hours."
Sardarji: "Is that Indian time?"
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Tech Support: "Ok, now click your left mouse button."
Sardarji: (silence) "But I only have one mouse."
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Sardarji: "Excuse me can I use this disk? It has a hole in it."
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Tech Support: "Do you have 3 1/2 inch diskettes?"
Sardarji: "No, I only have 3 of them."
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Tech Support: "I need you to right-click on the Open Desktop."
Sardarji: "Ok."
Tech Support: "Did you get a pop-up menu?"
Sardarji: "No."
Tech Support: "Ok. Right click again. Do you see a pop-up menu?"
Sardarji: "No."
Tech Support: "Ok, sir. Can you tell me what you have done up until this point?"
Sardarji: "Sure, you told me to write 'click' and I wrote'click'."
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Sardarji: "Now what do I do?"
Tech Support: "What is the prompt on the screen?"
Sardarji: "It's asking for 'Enter Your Last Name.'"
Tech Support: "Ok, so type in your last name."
Sardarji: "How do you spell that?"
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Sardarji: "I received the software update you sent, but I am still getting the same error message."
Tech Support: "Did you install the update?"
Sardarji: "No. Oh, am I supposed to install it to get it to work?"
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Sardarji: "I'm having trouble installing Microsoft Word."
Tech Support: "Tell me what you've done."
Sardarji: "I typed 'A:SETUP'."
Tech Support: "Ma'am, remove the disk and tell me what it says."
Sardarji: "It says '[PC manufacturer] Restore and Recovery disk'."
Tech Support: "Insert the MS Word setup disk."
Sardarji: "What?"
Tech Support: "Did you buy MS word?"
Sardarji "No..."
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Sardarji: "Do I need a computer to use your software?"
Tech Support: ?@#$?
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Tech Support: "Ok, in the bottom left hand side of the screen, can you see the 'OK' button displayed?"
Sardarji: "Wow. How can you see my screen from there?"
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Tech Support: "What type of computer do you have?"
Sardarji: "A white one."
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Sardarji: "I'm going to be using Windows NT. Should I get the Server or
Workstation version?"
Tech Support: "Well, are you using it as a workstation or as a server?"
Sardarji: "A server. So, which one do I get?"
Tech Support: "The server version perhaps?"
Sardarji: "Which one is that?"
Tech Support: "Windows NT Server."
Sardarji: "Ok, thanks."
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Tech Support: "Type 'A:' at the prompt."
Sardarji: "How do you spell that?"
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Tech Support: "Is your computer on a separate telephone line?"
Sardarji: "No." (clicks the button to log on to our service)
Tech Support: "Well then we can't--"
Sardarji: "It says 'no dial tone'."
Tech Support: "That's because you're on the line with me right now. You need to--"
Sardarji: "No, that's not it. It does this all the time. I just have to try a few times, and it will let me through."
Tech Support: "No, ma'am. It's not even trying to dial right now because you're on the phone with me."
Sardarji: "It must be busy. I'll try again later."
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Sardarji: "I can't log in to my account."
Tech Support: "Ok, let's look at your configuration."
Sardarji: "Ok...but I know that my User ID is case sensitive."
Tech Support: "Yes it is. Ok, what does it say in the 'User ID'field?"
Sardarji: "Like I said, 'Case Sensitive'."
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Tech Support: "What's on your screen right now?"
Sardarji: "A stuffed animal that my boyfriend got me at the grocery store."
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Tech Support: "What operating system are you running?"
Sardarji: "Pentium."
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Sardarji: "My computer's telling me I performed an illegal abortion."
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Sardarji: "I have Microsoft Exploder."
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Sardarji: "How do I print my voicemail?"
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Sardarji: "I don't need any of that SQL stuff -- I just want a
database!"
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Tech Support: "What does the screen say now?"
Sardarji: "It says, 'Hit ENTER when ready'."
Tech Support: "Well?"
Sardarji: "How do I know when it's ready?"
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Sardarji: "I have a long distance modem."
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Sardarji: "I don't have a space bar.
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Boss: You need to commment your code. First of all your code does not work. Secondly its impossible to debug it. Please add comments immediately.
Sardarji (Programmer): But sir, will the code work if its commented?
________________________________________________
From: Amit
Sent: Monday, July 09, 2001 04:02 PM
To: Vijay Anand Thakur; Vijay Kumar; Mahesh Rao; Manjunath KS; Manjunath KM; Tushar Kapila; Anupama
Subject: something crazy!
Which of the following statements is true?
1. One of these statements is true.
2. Two of these statements are true.
3. Three of these statements are true.
4. Four of these statements are true.
5. Five of these statements are true.
6. Six of these statements are true.
seems to be crazy?hu? But it has sensible answer.try out!
AmitRN
{ scroll down }
The answer is statement 1.
Because incase of every other statement if we consider it as true then other statements become false revealing it's own falsity.
Check this out & u shall nod ur head saying 'YES'
Regards,
AmitRN
------------------------------ PUZZLE -------------------------------
The distance between Station Atena and Station Barcena is 24 miles. A train starts from Atena towards Barcena at 60 miles per hour. A bird starts at the same time from Barcena straight towards the moving train. On reaching the train, it instantaneously turns back and returns to Barcena. The bird makes these journeys from Barcena to the train and back to Barcena continuously till the train reaches Barcena. If the bird flies at 20 miles per hour, then what is the total distance in miles the bird travels?
{ scroll down }
Answer 1 ] This is the officlai one: The speed of the train is 60 miles/hr.
So it covers distance of 24 miles in 24 mins & reaches to Barcena.
As long as train is moving bird is also travelling to & fro.This means bird also travels for 24 mins when the train reaches Barcena.
Now the speed of bird is 20 mile/hr. & he travels for 24 mins.With these things u can easily get the distance bird has covered.
So the distance travelled by the bird = 8 miles
Answer 2] This one is mine :
The speed at which the bird and train are coming to each other is 80 miles per hr , initially the dist is 24 miles
so time taken = 24/80 = 0.3
in 0.3 hours bird does 20 * 0.3 = 6 miles , so at 6 miles away from B they meet , then it starts back, train caries on at 60 miles/hr for last 6 miles
it does this in faster than bird - it overtakes it - thats why in the "simple" calc it is only 8 miles ; but bird has to do full journey - 6+6 = 12 miles
i think thats why the website says "
Food for thought:
How many journeys back and forth does the bird make?
Would the distances in these back and forth journey form an infinite series with a finite sum?
"
http://www.syvum.com/cgi/online/serve.cgi/teasers/train1.tdf
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_____________________________________________________________________________________________
** **BANG!!!! LORE.....KNOW ABOUT IT
SCROLL DOWN TILL THE LAST FOR THE ULTIMATUM
1. Bangalore was a name coined by Britishers for the conventional name
BENDA KAALUURO (meaning "cooked peas"). Recently it's popularly coined as
Bangy or B'LORE.
2. Bangalore is the fastest growing city in the world.
3. Bangalore has the impeccable record of highest growth within a span of
20 years.
4. Bangalore has highest number of pubs in Asia.
5. Bangalore has the highest number of breweries in the world.
6. Bangalore has highest number of cigarette smokers in India.
7. Bangalore has the highest number of software companies in India -
212,followed by Hyderabad -108, Pune - 97. Hence called the silicon
valley of India.
8. Bangalore has 21 engineering colleges, which is highest in the world in
a given city.
9. Bangalore university has 57 engineering colleges affiliated to it, which
is highest in the world.
10. Bangalore has the biggest statue of Shiva & Hanuman in the world.
11. Bangalore is the only city in the world to have commercial and defence
airport operating from
the same strip.
12. Bangalore has highest number of public sectors and government
organizations in India.
13. Bangalore university has highest number of students going abroad for
higher studies taking the
first place from IIT-Kanpur.
14. Bangalore has only 38% of local population (i.e.Kannadigas). Hence a
true cosmopolitan with
around 25% Tamilians,14%Telugites, 10% Keralites, 8% Europeans, 6% a
mixture of all
races.
15. Bangalore has the highest number of software professionals in the world
taking the first place
from Osaka, Japan.
16. Bangalore police has the reputation of being second best in India after
Delhi.
17. Bangalore has the highest density of traffic in India.
18. Bangalore has the highest number of 2-wheelers in the world.
19. Bangalore has the dubious reputation for 2-wheeler thefts .
20. Bangalore is considered the fashion capital of east comparable to Paris.
21. Bangalore has produced the maximum number of models from a specific
area.
22. Bangalore has the most number of gardens in a city. Hence called Garden
City.
23. Nearly 40% of Bangy's landscape is gardens/parks & 15% lakes/ponds.
24. Bangalore has the typical Mediterranean climate with a hi of max/.34.C &
and lo of 14.C.
25. Bangalore is rated the cleanest city in India.
26. Bangalore has produced the maximum international sportsmen in India for
all sports ahead of
even Mumbai & Delhi.
27. Bangalore has produced the maximum number of scientists considered for
Nobel Prize
nominations.
28.Bangalore is the only city in India with maximum number of temples,
mosques, churches &
gurdwaras.
29. Bangalore University produces maximum number of doctors in India.
30. Bangalore has the richest people in India. The line of poverty is the
least of all cities of India.
31. Bangalore was founded in 2nd.Century & still has the same
infrastructural drainage & sanitary
systems - the oldest in the world.
32. Bangalore has the highest number of Anglo-Indians in India.
33. Bangalore has produced the highest number of professionals in USA almost
60% of the Indian
population abroad is from Bangalore(except Gulf).
34. Bangalore is famous for THREE: Software Professionals, Girls and Dogs.
This one is Ultimate
35. Bangalore is famous for its dog bites, an average of 12 people is
bitten by stray dogs per
MINUTE somewhere in Bangalore ; 
Bow Wow Bangalore!
a nice, clean Aishwarya Rai Puzzle
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