Wufei’s Page Of The Unjust

· watching helplessly as a full day's work is eaten alive by your PC

Wufei stretched backwards to get rid of any kinks he had developed while typing his 1000 word report on the Preventor toilets. Not only was the subject an incredibly stupid topic to be forced to write, but he couldn’t think of anything to say about it. Heck, he didn’t even use the bathrooms here if he could help it.

He wouldn’t even have realized there were washrooms in the headquarters if his office wasn’t underneath one. Duo thought it was the most entertaining thing and would come in the office just to listen. Wufei, like everything else, did not think this the least bit amusing. He did not enjoy listening to toilets flushing for hours.

He admired the graph he had created. His guess was it would take 20 more years before the plumbing would have to be replaced. He moved his mouse up to the send button; the plumbing creaked overhead. Suddenly there was a small explosion in the ceiling. Wufei pushed back on his swivel chair and had just gotten out of the way when the ceiling crumbled and water poured out, all over his computer.

“This is injustice. I had just finished that report. I don’t think I pressed the send button. Who the heck is the stupid baka who would do something as inhonorable as flushing something big enough to break the pipes. Go drink some Metamucil you constipated freak!”

“Wufei, are you talking about yourself? What happened to your computer?”

“Can’t you see what happened to my computer onna? It short-circuited after some idiot ate too many prunes. This is injustice, I had just finished my report on the condition of the building’s toilets too.”

“Look at it this way Wufei, if you had sent it you would have had to do another report now anyway. I don’t think Lady Une would appreciate obsolete information.”

From somewhere upstairs a voice could be heard calling. “Heero, I think I accidentally may have flushed your shoe… bomb. Why in the world do you have a bomb in your shoe?”

“Kisama!!!!! Maxwell, I should have known this was all your fault!”

· spending three hours on the internet in a futile search for information

· the fact that you could have obtained the information in three minutes by opening a book

Wufei clicked the Internet search button yet again. It had to be the thirtieth time that day. All he wanted to find was romantic ideas to woo his date for the evening. It was a difficult procedure because people like Sally and Duo kept interrupting him just as the search results came in, he would then click the exit and make it look like he was doing work.

‘Ways to woo women.’ He smiled as 100 results came up on the page. He read the first site’s summery.

‘Do women not find you as irresistible as you think you are. Get the attention you deserve. Order a penis enlarger today!’

Wufei blushed and clicked out of that search as quick as he could. He stood up quickly and slipped on a magazine that was lying on his newly waxed floor. He picked it up and looked at the cover, COSMO, What Women Really Want From Men. He flipped to page 124 and started to read.

2 hours later Sally stuck her head in Wufei’s office door. He seemed to be engrossed in paper work.

“Wufei, have you seen my new Cosmo magazine?” She noticed her was trying to shove something in his hand out of sight. “I guess you have seen it then.”

“Why can’t you people leave me alone? Kisama, I need my personal space. Get out of here onna, and take your dishonorable magazine with you.” He started to mumble under his breath about not buying anyone flowers, and women are strange creatures.

· joggers who perform ostentatious stretching exercises in public places

· fitness zealots who carry hand weights when they walk

Someone had commented to Wufei that if he wanted a challenging sport he should take up jogging. Wufei didn’t like the fact his training was being called unchallenging, so he decided to try this weak sport called jogging. He asked around and found out the best place to go was a nearby park. So here he was, ready to run for his life, and most definitely not having fun.

This immodest hussy of an old woman started to do these stretches right in front of him. She bent down, trying to touch her toes but a layer of fat was in her way, and she wriggled her buttocks slightly right in his face. Wufei wasn’t even close to being impressed; in fact he was disgusted.

One of those power joggers zoomed by. He was carrying one of those expensive hand weights and was swinging his arms wildly. On a back swing the weight flung out of his sweaty palm and butted Wufei in the stomach. He doubled over in pain as a marathon of runners came up behind him. The first of the pack pushed him over on to the spit-covered sidewalk; the rest of them then ran over him. He tried to get up as Sally ran by, waving. He grumbled a bit about injustice and spit, and then noted jogging was more challenging than he thought.

· health-food fanatics who faint at the sight of a cheeseburger

· health-food fanatics who smoke

Wufei had a date. Yeah, he was surprised too. It was to this beautiful girl he had met at the gym. He planned to take her to McDonald’s for supper, a real romantic guy he is. Sally had suggested to him that he go through the drive-thru and then bring her to a near-bye park for a romantic picnic. Wufei wasn’t too keen on letting ants crawl up his leg, but Sally was a woman and knew what they like.

They got to the drive-thru and the girl looked thoroughly disgusted. She sniffed and ordered a salad while Wufei ordered a cheeseburger. They got to the picnic sight and set up to eat. Wufei took out his burger, and unwrapped it. The girl opposite him collapsed on her salad. He finally woke her up, she looked at his burger, picked it up and threw it into the woods where a mangy mutt grabbed it and took off.

“I’m sorry, but that quarter-pounder of fat was making me nauseous.” She picked a cigarette out of her pocket and lit up. She blew smoke in his face and continued to eat her smushed salad.

“Injustice! My burger... come back here you stupid dog!”

· 500 channels and nothing you want to watch

· romance novels with Fabio on the cover