WOW Fantasy by Chris Connor

Ohhhhhhhh...WOW!

[Title sequence, etc.]

David McLane and Lee Marshall sit at the announcers'
table.

McLane: I'm David McLane, and this is my co-host Lee
Marshall. And fans we got a show for you! This week
will feature....

(Suddenly the WOWtron, lights up as the words 'Danger,
Virus detected, Virus detected." Before anybody can
say a word, Cyrus the Virus walks out, to a huge ECW
chant. He gets in the ring wearing a WCW jacket and
saluting the crowd.)

McLane: What is HE doing here? He is not supposed to
be here! He is not even an employee of WOW?
Marshall: Well rumor has it that Cyrus has been hired
by Shane McMahon of WCW to be talent coordinator for
wrestling. And it looks like he has something to say.

(Cyrus walks over to the announce table and grabs a
mike, staring at Marshall and McLane through his
colored glasses.)

Cyrus: Welcome everyone to Women of Wrestling, hosted
by yours truly Cyrus...
McLane: Can you tell us why you are here?
Marshall: What do you want with WOW?.
Cyrus: Isn't it obvious here Davey and Stagger Lee.
Since I am the member of the Network and employed by
Shane McMahon of WCW... I have come here to announce
the signings of six new superstars from WOW. Infact
two of them are going to be joining me any minute.
McLane: What are you talking about? Every wrestler I
have here is under contract with WOW?
Marshall: I want to know who has been signed?
Cyrus: Who, will be revealed tonight, but right now
the answer to Davey McClue is that your company is so
cheap and bankrupt that the only way to save money
would be for WCW to pay you for contracts of WOW
wrestlers. So right now let me introduce you to two of
the newest stars of WCW...

(This entrance video...someone spray-painting
something on a windshield? It's Riot accompanied by
Poision. The two superstars walk to the ring with big
smiles on their face as they head over to the
announcers and each gives Cyrus a big hug, causing the
crowd to boo.)

Marshall: I guess I have to ask you two the most
obvious question? Why sign with WCW?
Riot: Why not!!! Me and Poison sat down and had a long
talk with good old Shane o'Mac and it finally dawned
on us. Why should we waste our talent here in this
piss poor federation when we can make it big in the
big time.
Poison: WOW should stand for Whores or Whales, because
that is what this federation is all about. Most of the
women cannot wrestler or can collect retirement checks
they are so old. Fact of the matter is that WOW is
too small for Dangerous Inc.
McLane: But these fans of WOW need you two? Why sell
your souls to Cyrus and WCW?
Riot: Because for the money we are getting paid and
the opportunity of a lifetime... McLane I would play
stick ball with a babyseal, and not shed one tear.

(Suddenly, 'The Real Deal" plays as Selina Majors and
THUG make their way out to the entrance way looking
very irate. Riot and Poision stand ready to fight as
Cyrus gets a worried look on his face. Selina eyes
Thug warrily but continues to glare at Poision and
Riot.)

Marshall: Here are the living legends of WOW, and lets
here what they have to say about this announcement.
McLane: We could see fireworkds any minute now.

(Selina listens to the cheers (surprisingly big) as
she makes her way to ringside.)

Selina: Who do you two punks think you are? We warned
you time and time again about what hell was in WCW,
how WOW was all for womens wrestling without T&A and
you do this? You two are prehaps the biggest sell outs

in this industry.

Cyrus: Now hold on there old windbag, I will
personally have you removed from the building just
like I had your brother Jake Roberts removed when he
was in ECW...

Thug: And I will personally stomp a mud hole in your
Canadian bacon eating, ass if you don't shut up!

McLane: That is one woman who I would not mess with
and I am glad she is here... EVEN IF SHE IS NOT
SUPPOSED TO BE HERE!
Marshall: The head trainer of many female wreslters in
the world today, she is not going to take this
invasion without a fight.

Thug: Look here Riot, if you think that you can march
in here and slam WOW and my girls work, than you are
on the Highway to Hell. I have beaten every big name
female wrestler in the history, Bertha Faye, Baby
Doll, Wendy Richter, Sherri Martel and even that ho
Medusa. And I am not going to stand for two punks to
bad mouth WOW

Cyrus: Well look here you two dinosaurs without the
scales, if you two want to put a wager on it, I will
have a match tonight for the negotiating rights of
WOW. You two and any partner of your chosing against
three of my warriors. And WHEN we win... WOW will be
part owned by WCW

Selina: You got a deal Cyrus, and as far as you two
new 'wrestlers' are concerned... tonight I am going to
kick both their asses back to the rock they crawled
out from.

(Security comes to hold Thug and Selina back as Cyrus
and his two women smirk behind him.)

McClane: What is going to happen next?

[Benny Hill commercial]

(Cut to the "WCW-WOW office", a small, pristine room
with file cabinets, desks, etc. Cyrus is sitting in a
huge chair as Poison and Riot stand at attention. He
carefully lights a cigar before turning his attention
to his new wrestlers.)

CYRUS: Are you two prepared for what is going to
happen tonight?

Riot: I got no problem kicking the 'old-timers' all
the way back to the retirement. But who is the third
partner for us.
Poison: She better be somebody worthy of us... and not
some loser like Caliente or Jacklyn Hyde!

(Before another word can be said Jungle Grrl walks
into the room, her face emotionless. She dressed in
street clothes, boots, leather jacket and jeans. she
eyes Poison and Riot without regard before approaching
Cyrus.)

Jungle Grrl: I want you to include me in this new
regime going to WCW!

Poison: Why should we let you in Georgia of the
Jungle?

(Poison goes to high five Cyrus but is met with an icy
glare. Riot smirks as the head of the WCW recruitment
walks over to Jungle Grrl. He extends his hand as
Jungle Grrl shakes it.)

Cyrus: You see my dear Poison, who better to repersent
WCW along with you and Riot then the female version of
Chris Benoit. Infact she is going to be our third
partner in tonights main event!

Poison: But what about your 'chosen one'? I thought
she was going to be in this match?

Cyrus: I think that the big surprise will come out at
the right time... Anyway if you three excuse me I got
a tag team match to take care of.

(We go to the ring as we see David McLane in the ring,
announcing the next match between Caged Heat-Asian
Invasion.)

{I don't have a match simulator but what I would do is
have at the end, Caged Heat delivers the Drive By as
Jay Fernandez is down. As Loca goes to make the cover,
Cyrus gets in the ring and stuns her with a stun gun.
He does the same to Delta Lotta Pain. Jade and Lotus
apply the Mijonlir Submission (double fujiwara
armbar)}

MARSHALL: Look at this! The Asian Invasion has just
joined forces with Cyrus!

(McLane is standing in the ring shocked as referee's
tend to Caged Heat. Cyrus raises Jade and Lotus' hands
as the crowd boo.)

CYRUS: Once again WCW has made its mark in WOW.

McLane: Jade, Lotus, why would you do something like
this? Why would you turn your back on all your fans..

(Jade grabs the microphone from his hands and glares
at him.)

Cut to Jade and Lotus' locker room.

Jade: I have sat back and watched as other wrestlers
got their shot. I speak both Japanesse and English
fluently, yet you have treated me as a mute... well
McLane... you can kiss it!

(McLane looks on in surprise as Lotus grabs the mike
and glares at him.)

Lotus: Ever since we got to WOW, we have been treated
like losers by the committee. Told to hold back and
forget our heritage. Everything my trainers taught me
about martial arts, was looked down on by you.

(McClane squirms as Jade sneaks up behind him.)

Lotus: I even had to go by a stupid name... A
FLOWER... to get my chance here. But tonight, you are
going to pay for your crimes against us... by bad
gimicks!

(Asian Invasion delivers Total Elimination to McClane
as Cyrus grins. The fans actually pop as referee's
come down to help out the WOW owner.)

Cyrus: From now on you will know them not as Lotus and
Jade, Asian Invasion. But Jeanie Kim and Jade... THE
SHOGUN WARRIORS!

(Camera fades out to commericals as McClane is loaded
on to a stretcher.)

{EnErex commercial.}

Cut to Lana Star's locker room. Lana is, of course,
admiring herself in the mirror. Cyrus walks by as the
Shogun Warriors walk with him.

Lana: Cyrus, just the person I am looking for.
Cyrus: Well, if it isn't Miss Hanah Starr, What can I
do for you?
Lana: Its Lana, and I wanted to talk to you about the
Lana Starr show being in WCW?
Cyrus: What are you suggesting? That I actually hire
you to be in WCW?
Lana: Of course silly, what would WCW be without the
Lana Starr show.

(Cyrus and the Shogun Warriors start laughing as Lana
looks at them with a puzzled look.)

Cyrus: Look here you cheap, Barbie Doll looking
floozy. This is a league about talent and if I ever
wanted a dumb, blond haired bimbo on the show... I
would just hire some stripper off the street.
Lana: What are you saying?
Cyrus: I am saying that Shane McMahon would never hire
a cheap, talentless bimbo like you!

(Lana looks stunned before bursting into tears and
crying. Jade and Jeanie look on with smiles on their
face as Cyrus laughs.)

Cyrus: You know I think it is about time to get
everything set for the main event.

(Camera cuts back to the face locker room as Heather
Steele, Wendi Wheels, Beach Patrol and Terri Gold are
watching the monitor.)

Sandy: I don't like Lana Starr one bit, but that was
cruel of Cyrus.

Wendi: I can't believe that Jade and Lotus would sell
out to them.

Summer: That just means that if Cyrus can get Jungle
Grrl, Riot, Poison and Asian Invasion, then he can get
anybody.

Heather: (Whistfully) You know it would be nice though
to compete in WCW. It is on a big scale and I would
love to go back to Portland to wrestle in front of my
family.

Terri: I don't trust Cyrus one bit, he is up to
something!

(Terri gets up and grabs her belt walking to the
door.)

Wendi: Where are you going?

Terri: Whatever Cyrus has planned... I am not going to
let him do this!

(The rest of the women look in shock as we go down to
ringside as we see Cyrus at the broadcast position. He
sits right next to Lee Marshall.

Marshall: Welcome back fans to WOW and with me is the
WCW recruiter for Shane McMahon, Cyrus.
Cyrus: Get ready Stagger Pee, tonight we are going to
see the crowning of a new era!
Marshall: Who is this big surprise that you have
promised?
Cyrus: All in due time Stagger Pee, all in due time!

(We see a new announcer in the ring with referee Jay
Hernandez.)

Announcer: Ladies and gentleman, this match is
scheduled for one fall with a 15 minute time limit.
Introducing first...

('Hemorage' by Fuel plays.)

Announcer: Weighing in at a combined weight of 450
pounds, the team of Riot, Jungle Grrl, and Poison!

(The WCW women make thier way to the ring, high fiving
Cyrus before getting in the ring.)

Cyrus: And just to remind everyone here if any other
women from WOW interferes in this match, then they
will be suspened.
Marshall: You can't do that, your not even in Power in
WOW?
Cyrus: You would be surprised of my power within
WOW... especially with McClane at the hospital.

Announcer: And thier opponents, introducing first...

(Real Deal plays as Selena Majors and Thug make their
way to the ring. Selina has a mike in her hand, as she
smiles at Cyrus.)

Selina: You know Cyrus, you may think that just
because Caged Heat and Danger are both out, that we
wouldn't have a big surprise ourselves... Well here is
our partner...

(Rap music plays as Slam Dunk makes her way to the
ring, causing Poison and Jungle Grrl to look on in
shock. Riot just sneers at her as Slam Dunk grabs the
mike.)

Slam: Cyrus! Cyrus, you ponytailed fool! You better
not try to get in my face or I'll dribble you all over
this arena!

(Cyrus is shocked as Slam Dunk walks toward the ring.)

Slam: I may not like these two jokers I am with, but I
am not going to let you walk all over me in MY
federation... and Riot... I am going to stuff you
right now... BI$%^!

Team WCW-Slam Dunk/Thug/Selena match.

Post match.

(All six women are brawling in the ring as Shogun
Warriors make thier way to the ring and try to battle
it out.)

MARSHALL: This is insane! Where are Harley's Angels
and the rest of WOW!
Cyrus: I made sure they were taken care off!

(Camera goes to the back as we see all the women in
WOW locked up in their dressing room, a huge chain
locking the doors shut.)

CYRUS: You know what they say about a best laid plan!

(Suddenly trumpets blare as Terri Gold hits the ring
with a chair. Team WCW scatters from the ring as Terri
chases them off.)

Marshall: Thank God for Terri Gold, she just saved the
WOW wrestlers from a viscious attack.

(Selina and Thug struggle to their feet as Terri pats
them both on the back...

Before drilling both of them over the head with chair
shots!)

MARSHALL: NO! NO DAMNIT! THIS IS NOT RIGHT!

CYRUS: This is the big surprise Stagger Pee!

(Cyrus gets in the ring and walks over to Terri Gold
who has just blasted Slam Dunk over the head. Terri
looks over at Cyrus and glares at him as the rest of
Team WCW looks on in surprise. Finally Terri smiles
and hugs Cyrus before getting her hand raised.)

TERRI: You stupid fans should see the look on your
faces right now! This is what I call... A GOLDEN
MOMENT!

(Crowd boos as Terri parades around the ring, high
fiving Poison, Riot, Shogun Warriors and Jungle Grrl.)

TERRI: For the past year, I remained loyal to everyone
around here! Loyal to the company that turned me into
a dork, loyal to the fans who never accepted me, and
loyal to the wrestling pruists who called me
OVERRATED!

(Crowd boos more as Terri looks at them in disgust.)

TERRI: You see I am THE GOLDEN ONE... TERRI GOLD! I am
an NCAA champion in gymnastics, a great wreslter, and
a future star in this sport! And from now on I am not
going to let idiots like Dave McClane hold me down...
as I said in the back, I am going to do something
about this... and Cyrus... I AM READY TO CONQUER WCW!

(Terri high fives Cyrus before joining the rest of her
stable mates in stomping down on Selina, Thug and Slam
Dunk.)

MARSHALL: The Golden one is a big disgrace! And Selina
Majors, Thug and Slam Dunk are helpless...

(Crowd goes nuts as Paradise, Beach Patrol, Harley's
Angels, Jane Blond, Roxy Powers, Caged Heat, Ice Cold,
Bronco Billie, Wendi Wheels, and Becky the Farmers
daughter hit the ring. Team WCW bails out as the near
entire WOW roster gets in the ring to protect their
fellow wrestlers.)

(Fade out.)