WOWF - WOW Fantasy

Matches in WOWF are simmed with ZeusPro.

NOTE: Sorry if the booking for this event seems a little rushed. Since WOW basically twiddled its thumbs for three weeks after the PPV -- not really introducing or advancing any angles -- I only had five "weeks" to set everyone in the fed up for a PPV match. I did the best I could, and I think it came out pretty good personally, but not as good as it would have, had I had those three extra weeks to work with. Oh well. Oh, and I also retconned Vendetta-Thug to a Hell in the Cell, which is what I wanted to do all along... I finally found a ZeusPro file that would run one without crashing the program...


Spring Vengeance Pay-Per-View Event - April 8, 2001

Ohhhhhhh....WOW!

[Title sequence, etc.]

Cut to David McLane and Lee Marshall at the announcers' table.

McLane: Fans, I'm David McLane, and this is my partner Lee Marshall. Thank you for joining us on this historic night for women's wrestling. Welcome to... Spring Vengeance! [pyro and other pomp and circumstance] Today's events are sure to shake up the Women of Wrestling federation. All three WOW titles are on the line tonight. And two will be given away for the first time ever! To determine the new WOW Hardcore Champion, Thug will go against Vendetta in a Hell in a Cell match. And Jane Blond will face Lotus in a match that will crown WOW's inaugural Intercontinental Champion.
Marshall: You're definitely right, David... we will see two women write their names in the history books tonight. On the other hand, Terri Gold holding the WOW World Championship is not news. But she will have to defend her belt tonight against her former best friend, the "Real Deal", Selina Majors. And the more I think about it, the more I'm convinced that this is Terri's most difficult title defense yet.
McLane: Could very well be, Lee. Selina is no stranger to world championships. She has been the champ many times before in other federations. And the rivalry between Selina Majors and Terri Gold is very, very personal.

[Video package chronicling the Terri-Selina feud. Terri and Selina were once good friends. Terri helped Selina out against the sustained attacks of Harley's Angels that left the Real Deal repeatedly brutalized and hospitalized. Selina invited Terri to be the guest referee in her steel cage match against Thug at WOW: Unleashed. However, something went terribly wrong. After losing the match, Selina, blaming Terri's refereeing for the loss, turned on the champion and beat her savagely. Later, as Terri was defending her title against Thug, Selina ran in and laid both of them out with a trashcan lid. The Real Deal then defeated Riot and Slam Dunk in a triple threat match. That earned her the #1 contender spot and the right to this title shot at Spring Vengeance. After that match, Selina explained that she blamed Terri for her failure to get revenge against Harley's Angels, and thus, Terri was now her target.]

Marshall: A lot of history there... tensions will be high. But today's opening match is a little less of a heated rivalry. The teams actually like each other! The tag team of Steele Wheels -- Hammerin' Heather Steele and Wendi Wheels -- is making its debut today against their friends, Sandy and Summer of the Beach Patrol.
McLane: Yup, the Beach Patrol volunteered to serve as Steele Wheels' first opponent. They didn't want their friends to have to debut against Harley's Angels, Caged Heat, or one of those other teams that will put you in the hospital if you slip up just a little bit.
Marshall: That's smart thinking, David, because given time, this Steele Wheels tag team could really be something. These are two athletic, strong women who just need some more experience. Wendi Wheels actually already has wins against both Riot and Danger, two of WOW's best. And Hammerin' Heather Steele has been coming on strong. She fought Slam Dunk evenly in a match eventually broken up by Danger, and then she beat the fabulous Lana Star.
McLane: Let's go to ringside as we see the introduction of what are sure to be two fan favorite tag teams, Steele Wheels and the Beach Patrol.

Wendi has abandoned her old "mechanic" uniform in favor of the T-shirt look she had at WOW: Unleashed.

Steele Wheels-Beach Patrol match

After the match, Wendi refuses to let go of the chickenwing hold. Summer screams in pain.

Marshall: My God! Summer just came back from a shoulder injury! This could cause permanent damage! Somebody do something!

A couple more referees rush the ring. Wendi throws Josh Milton over the top rope, but eventually she is restrained and led off.

Marshall: Good Lord! So much for what was supposed to be a friendly -- almost an exhibition -- match! Wendi just went bananas there. I can't explain why!
McLane: Neither can I, Lee. There must be a lot more to what just happened than we saw just now. We'll have to talk to Wendi and see what the heck has gotten into her.
Marshall: Could Steele Wheels be as short-lived a tag team as Danger and Riot were?
McLane: Well, Danger and Riot are very, very proud individuals...let's just say that neither of them "plays well with others." I didn't think Heather and Wendi were of that uncooperative stripe. I still hold out hope here, Lee. Maybe there is some kind of explanation.
Marshall: I hope so... I'd love to see that team stay together. Well, we'll be back in a moment, and see Slam Dunk take on Randi Rah Rah.

Cut to backstage, where Lana Star, her bodyguard Jane Blond (in sunglasses), and Bronco Billie are talking.

Lana: I am so excited about buying your ranch, Billie! I know that we're gonna be such good friends now! It'll be super!
Billie (very unenthused): Yup.
Lana: Awww, c'mon! Why the long face?! We can gossip... we can do each other's hair... and we can go shopping together. On Rodeo Drive! Hahahahahahaha!
Billie (sarcastically): You're a real hoot, Lana.
Lana: Get it? 'Cause, you're, like, a cowgirl? Rodeo Drive?
Billie (very fakely): Ohhh! HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!
Lana: That's so much better!! Now, I'm not gonna ask you to do anything too hard. That's what Jane is here for. (Jane nods crisply) Like right now, what I want you to do is beat that idiot Patti Pep. That shouldn't be too tough! I mean, she's even more incompetent than you are!
Billie: Sure, Lana. I'll do my best.
Lana: Hope so! (Waves her cell phone at Billie) One phone call, and your family's out on the.. umm... dirt road. Or something.

Cut to ringside for the contest between Slam Dunk and Randi Rah Rah.

Randi-Slam match

Slam (dressed in her now-usual Boston Celtics gear) gets on the mic.

Slam: Boy, that felt good. I never got along with cheerleaders. At least the female ones. McLane, pleeeease... do not send me any more opponents with one eye and little girly arms. You're insulting your Franchise Player, and ask your pal Jeannie Buss... you do not want to do that. I'm out!

Slam drops the mic and exits.

The next match is Bronco Billie against Patti Pep.

Billie-Patti match

McLane: Lana Star getting revenge there against her former personal assistant, Patti Pep. Lana felt that Patti was incompetent because she failed to cheat to help Lana win matches. Personally, I just don't think Patti had it in her to play dirty like Lana does.
Marshall: Jane Blond, Lana's new "bodyguard", has no such qualms. We saw Jane backstage just now, and she will be going for the WOW Intercontinental belt later today against Lotus. Let's see how we got to this point, by looking back at the WOW Intercontinental Title Tournament.

[A video package recaps the WOW Intercontinental Title Tournament. The first round saw Jacklyn Hyde beat Farah the Persian Princess; Poison squash Paradise; Tanja defeat Boom Boom the Volcano; and Jane Blond defeat Jade, dumping her in her grandmother's lap after disposing of her. In the second round, four more wrestlers jumped in the fray: Ice Cold beat Tanja, Lotus beat Jacklyn, Jane Blond beat Caliente (again disrespecting her afterwards), and Poison beat Jungle Grrrl after spitting venom at her. In the semifinals, Jane (with help from Ice) beat Poison, and Lotus (with help from Poison) beat Ice. Thus, the finals pit the plucky overachiever Lotus against the arrogant, obnoxious Jane Blond.]

We then go to ringside, where Jade is taking on Roxy Powers.

Jade-Roxy match

After the DQ, Jade turns around and clocks Josh Milton on the head with the chair as well. Roxy is still downed from the first chairshot. Jade sails the chair across the ring and walks out.

McLane: I never thought I would see this day, Lee. Jade, who used to be so sweet and lovable, disqualified for use of a foreign object. Then taking out the ref!
Marshall: Well, David, we've seen Jade get more and more frustrated, as the weeks have gone by and she has still been unable to win a match. After her loss to her tag team partner Lotus, and then a humiliation the very next week by Jane Blond... well, it seems like Jade has gone over the edge, so to speak.
McLane: I suppose this is the end of the Asian Invasion tag team, Lee.
Marshall: I would have to think so. I can't see Lotus resorting to those kind of tactics.
McLane: Amazing. Well, what the heck will happen next here at WOW: Unleashed?? Next up, we've got Beckie the Farmer's Daughter versus The Fabulous Lana Star. This match was scheduled by Acting Commissioner Danger at Beckie's request. Beckie hopes to be able to free her friend from under Lana Star's thumb, although Danger made no promises about that.

[Video packaging detailing the Billie epic. Bronco Billie and her family fell behind on their bank mortgage, and had to put their ranch up for sale. At WOW: Unleashed, the ranch was bought by the Disciplinarian. Ms. D, however, found that Billie's intellectual and wrestling skills were not up to her very demanding standards. After the Disciplinarian/Billie team lost to Team Spirit, Ms. D was anxious to get rid of her protege. Lana Star had soured on her own "personal assistant", Patti Pep, and also wanted a place to film movies. So the Disciplinarian sold Billie's ranch to Lana. Meanwhile, Billie's pals Beckie the Farmer's Daughter and Terri Gold decided to team up to free their friend. After the ranch sale, their attention shifted to Lana, leading to this match, set up by Acting Commissioner Danger at Beckie's request.]

During the match, the escorts, Terri Gold (for Beckie) and Jane Blond (for Lana), engage in a lot of trash-talking, pointing, and shoving.

Beckie-Lana match

After the win, an outraged Terri rushes Jane Blond. The two escorts trade punches. Lana slides under the bottom rope and joins the fray. The refs eventually break it up.

Cut to Harley's Angels' pool hall. The Angels are smoking, drinking, and playing pool along with the other customers. They challenge each other to make shots, put down money, etc. Suddenly, Thug urgently tells everyone to put out their cigarettes and cigars, and put their money back in their pockets. They do so, and a moment later, Law and Order walk in.

Nikki Law (sarcastically): Wow, this looks like a real classy pool hall.
Charlie Davidson: Yeah, it is. We don't have any donuts though, so maybe you should run along.
Kristi Order (insincerely): That's really funny. Who runs this place?
Thug: Me.
Kristi: And your name is?
Thug: Thug.

Law and Order exchange glances.

Law: You sound like a real upstanding citizen, "Thug." Look like one, too. But you sure don't smell like one. (looks around, sniffing) Are you aware that smoking in this environment would be a violation of California's anti-smoking statutes?
Thug: Yup.
Order: Are you aware that gambling is illegal in this state?
Thug: Yup.
Law: Do you realize what we could do to you right now?
Thug:
No, I don't. (steps towards them confidently) Show me.

Law and Order break out the billyclubs and start beating on Thug. Charlie and EZ rush to their leader's help, brandishing pool cues. Meanwhile, the fight serves as an excuse for the other patrons to settle their differences with each other as well. It's a good old-fashioned barroom brawl, which rages for a while with inconclusive results. Finally:

Law: Okay, the three of you are under arrest.
EZ Rider:
Gee, officer... seems like you started the unprovoked violence. I'm not sure I would arrest us, if I were you. That's the type of thing that can cost the city millions of dollars... and two bimbo police officers their jobs.
Law
(considers EZ's point): Okay, then. If you want a piece of us, you'll be in the ring after the next bout.
Thug:
See ya there.

Cut to McLane and Marshall.

McLane: Looks like we're on for a bout between the rogue cops Law & Order and the hellraising Harley's Angels. But first, we've got Jacklyn Hyde against Jungle Grrrl.
Marshall:
Well, Jacklyn felt that her elimination by Lotus from the tag team tournament was unfair. There was no merit to that at all, of course, so Danger "compensated" her by scheduling her against Jungle Grrrl. I get the feeling this will be more than Jacklyn bargained for!
McLane:
Most likely, but we can't say that for sure, Lee. An enraged Jacklyn is a very dangerous opponent, as I found out myself a couple weeks ago when she nearly choked the life out of me!
Marshall:
No offense, David, but it'll take a lot more than that to take out Jungle Grrrl. Well, let's go to ringside and find out.

Jacklyn-JG match

McLane: Jungle Grrrl pulled out all the stops there, Lee Marshall, as she wowed this crowd.
Marshall: Yup... Jacklyn actually had an advantage at one point, but once Jungle Grrrl got rolling, there was no stopping her. All Jacklyn could do was try to choke and claw. Jungle Grrrl was able to overcome those illegal tactics and win the match with that always-amazing top rope splash.
McLane: Speaking of choking and clawing, let's talk about the acknowledged master of those techniques, Ice Cold. She will be facing Poison later tonight in what can only be described as a grudge match.

[Video package describing the Ice Cold-Poison feud. Ice Cold and Poison decided it was in each of their best interests to go against their "loner" nature and form a tag team. But the team never completely jelled. In the Tag Team Tournament, Lana, who had a beef with Poison for dying her hair green, challenged Ice/Poison to a second-round match. Ice/Poison accepted and lost to Lana/Patti Pizzazz, after Lana hit Poison with her mirror. Lana later interfered in one of Ice's matches, knocked her out with the mirror, and snipped some of her hair off. Ice and Poison returned the favor by interfering in one of Lana's matches, knocking her out with an even bigger mirror, and snipping some of Lana's precious blond locks. All these shenanigans led to a haircut match at WOW: Unleashed. Ice took out Patti before the match... in spite of which, Lana beat Ice/Poison by herself, knocking Ice out with a crutch. Poison chose to walk away rather than save her partner, and Ice got her head shaved. Ice at first blamed David McLane and Lana for her humiliation, but then realized that she couldn't have expected any better from them, and focused her vengeance on Poison. They exchanged words during the Intercontinental Title Tournament, and with four participants left, they seemed fated to meet up in the finals. But Ice couldn't resist interfering in the Poison-Jane Blond match, leading to Jane's victory. Poison returned the favor by costing Ice her match with Lotus.]

Marshall: Pardon the pun, David, but Ice must be steaming to get at Poison. She believes Poison cost her both her hair and the WOW Intercontinental Title. And Poison is a very proud competitor who doesn't like losing belts, or losing handicap matches where she has a 2-on-1 advantage, for that matter. When these two go at it later tonight, hunker down, because it's gonna be a bumpy ride.
McLane: Whoops...here come Law & Order to the ring, Lee, and I think we're set to see them take on Harley's Angels.

L&O-Angels match

After the match, Law and Order try to handcuff the groggy EZ to the ringpost. Thug charges and catapults Order across the ring, then chokeslams her. Thug prepares for the Samoan drop on the stunned Order, but Law grabs her partner away and they make a quick exit.

Marshall: Wow! Those two teams really went at it. They gave you everything they had tonight, fans.
McLane: And somehow, Lee Marshall, I get the feeling that there's even more bad blood between the two teams now than there was before we got started.
Marshall: I agree, David... I doubt this one is over, by a long shot. And unless I'm very much mistaken, Law & Order is about to become a formidable force in the WOW tag team division.
McLane: Yup. And Lee, we just saw what Thug can do out there in the ring. And later tonight, she might get a belt around her waist.
Marshall: That'll have to be a big belt, David! [McLane pats Marshall's own sizable tummy. Marshall gives a "yeah, you're right" shrug.]
McLane: Anyway... Thug will take on Vendetta for the Hardcore Championship, in a match that has been a long time coming.

[Video package detailing the Caged Heat-Harley's Angels feud. As part of the epic Selina-Angels feud, the Angels took Selina to the Heat's cell, and commenced the beatdown. Caged Heat, sympathizing with someone who -- like them -- had been unjustly incarcerated, saved Selina. Then the Heat attacked the Angels during the Thug-Selina lumberjack match. At WOW: Unleashed, Vendetta bodyslammed Thug and subjected her to a three-woman beating, as the Heat defeated the Angels and became WOW's first ever tag team champs. Thug then challenged Vendetta to a Hell in a Cell match. Vendetta went to Acting Commissioner Danger to accept the challenge. Danger said that not only would she schedule the bout, she would make it for the Hardcore Title at Spring Vengeance.]

McLane: That'll be in just a few moments. But now, Lee Marshall, we have a match between Riot and the Disciplinarian. Riot has more or less run roughshod through the federation so far in WOW's brief history. But the Disciplinarian claims that she is the superior martial artist!
Marshall: David, the Disciplinarian might just be the smartest woman in WOW, and this shows you why. Riot has been very successful with a brawling, no-holds-barred style. If the Disciplinarian's comments can take Riot off her game -- psyche her into fighting a style that she is not used to using in the ring -- that will make the Disciplinarian's chances much better.
McLane: Good points as always, Lee. Let's see how it turns out, as we go to ringside.

Riot-Ms. D match

Marshall: Looks like Disciplinarian's strategy backfired, David. She tried to prove her superior martial artistry by repeatedly going for submissions. But Riot didn't play along, and was able to capitalize on her size advantage to overpower the Disciplinarian for the win.
McLane: That's true, Lee... but at the same time, Riot certainly didn't disprove the Disciplinarian's claim.
Marshall: That's also true. And the Disciplinarian certainly gave Riot a very difficult time in there. She is not going to lay down for anyone.
McLane: Now let's go to a match I guarantee you is not going to have a lot of scientific wrestling... just a lot of good old-fashioned brawling between two gals who simply cannot stand each other. It's time for Ice Cold to take on Poison in a grudge match!

(As she described last week, Ice Cold has foregone the "snow" entrance.)

Ice-Poison match

After being DQed, Ice goes even more bananas. She bumps the ref, tears out a couple of TV monitors, and screams at the fans. Finally, she storms out.

McLane: Ice Cold throwing everything but the kitchen sink at her nemesis Poison. But unfortunately for her, she pushed it a little too far, and the ref picked up on it and awarded the well-deserved disqualification.
Marshall: I have to say, David, that despite her unsympathetic behavior, I feel sorry for Ice Cold. She doesn't have a friend in the world right now.
McLane: Well, you're entitled to your opinion, Lee... personally, I think she's gotten what was coming to her. And now, it's time for a little bloodshed. Could we lower the cell, please? Because it's time to crown the WOW Hardcore Champion... right now. Thug versus Vendetta... two of the federation's strongest and greatest warriors... this truly is Hell in a Cell.

Thug-Vendetta match (Hardcore title)

After the match, Thug and Selina Majors trade punches. Vendetta comes to and starts double-teaming Thug. Harley's Angels and Caged Heat charge the ring. Everyone brawls as the beleaguered refs once again try to contain the situation.

McLane: Well, Lee Marshall, buried somewhere in that mess is Thug, the new WOW Hardcore Champion.
Marshall: Like it or not, David, she sure does deserve that honor. Absolutely unbelievable... she goes through the cage... she gets bum rushed by Selina Majors... and she still wins the match!! I simply cannot believe what I just saw.
McLane: Well, I'm in a good mood, Lee... what say we give away another belt for the first time ever?
Marshall: Sounds terrific to me, David.
McLane: Well, here we go then, to the Lee Marshall-approved Intercontinental Title Match. I kid, of course; we've been having the Intercontinental Title Tournament for four weeks now [brackets are shown], in anticipation of just this moment. And it has all come down to these two competitors, Lotus and Jane Blond.
Marshall: Jane Blond has become quite the fearsome opponent, David... she's not only beating people, she's humiliating them. I hope Lotus can stand up to her. It'd be a heck of a time for the Exotic Flower to make her mark. Let's see if she can become the first WOW Intercontinental Champion.

Jane Blond is introduced first. To a hail of boos, she walks down the ramp, balances on the top rope, drops into the ring, and grabs the mic.

Jane: "The Exotic Flower"? I've been doing dirty, grimy undercover work for years, and I'm supposed to be scared of someone nicknamed the "Exotic Flower"? Get the little princess out here so I can pluck her petals off, one by one.

Lotus enters, and the match is on.

Jane-Lotus match (Intercontinental title)

After the match, Jade puts on sunglasses. Lana Star, dragging Bronco Billie, makes her way to the ring. So does Wendi Wheels. They all put on sunglasses and then put their arms around each other. Lana gets on the mic and gloatingly speaks.

Lana: Hi, fans! Welcome to the Lana Star Show!! As you can see, the cast is getting bigger and bigger! You already knew about my personal assistant here, Bronco Billie, and my bodyguard, Jane Blond. But now the Star Stable has two more players! You used to know them as Wendi Wheels and Jade. But now you can call them California Wendi, and Jaded! Isn't that super???
[The announcers weep and moan about this development.]
Jaded: My grandmother has watched all my matches very closely. She told me that I was doing fantastic. I mean, I can do top-rope hurricanranas... I can do Samurai headscissors.... I can do everything our (sarcastic) "unbeatable champion" Terri Gold can do, to be honest... and I'm only getting better! It was that idiot Lotus who couldn't do anything right. She moved around as much as a three-toed sloth on a hot day. Grandma said I needed to take my destiny into my own hands. So I did. I took care of Lotus, and gave the Intercontinental belt to the baddest woman in WOW, Jane Blond!
California Wendi:
Right on, Jaded. It was a crime for someone of my talent, size, and strength to play second fiddle to that corny-as-hell team of Beckie the Farmer's Daughter and Terri Gold. I have bigger plans than that. We've got the Intercontinental belt right here in the Star Stable, and we've got the woman right here [points to Lana, who gestures grandly] who wields the power behind the scenes in WOW. You'll be taking "Wendi Wheels" a lot more seriously now.
Lana: That was a fabulous debut, you guys! Well, there's some stupid world championship match up next, but who cares. You can all go home now, and tune in next week for another edition of the Lana Star Show!

The five stable members leave the ring waving to the fans, as they hear the boos.

Marshall: Umm, fans, don't listen to Lana. You do not want to miss the centerpiece of today's card, the World Title match between Terri Gold and her sworn enemy Selina Majors.
McLane: I am very concerned about all this, Lee. I mean, let's face it, when Lana only had Patti Pizzazz to back her up, there was only so much damage she could do. She was more of a thorn in my side than anything else. But now, with the stable she's building... I shudder to think what could happen next. And by the way, may I mention that Wendi's not even from California!!!
Marshall: I think the name represents a state of mind more than anything else, David.
McLane: That's not the point!!!
Marshall: Sorry, David. I know this is difficult for you.
McLane (trying to recompose himself): Okay...okay. (sighs) Well, we saved the best for last, fans. Here we go with the World Championship match... Selina Majors against Terri Gold.

Selina-Terri match (World title)

Selina and Caged Heat celebrate in the ring as Terri slinks away, muttering and looking extremely angry.

McLane: Well, fans, what can I tell you... anarchy has been loosed upon the WOW world. Let's recap today's action.

McLane: So three title matches... three new champions... and a huge number of unanswered questions. Fans, tune in next week to WOW: Women of Wrestling, because the fallout from Spring Vengeance is about to begin. And it's not gonna be pretty.


ZeusPro

WOWF Federation File (goes in main ZeusPro directory)

Moves List (goes in "moves" directory)

Lee Marshall Commentary File (goes in "commentary" directory)

David McLane Commentary File (goes in "commentary" directory)

An excellent ZeusPro resources page

 

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