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Summer Swelter Pay-Per-View Event - June 10, 2001
Ohhhhhhh....WOW!
[Title sequence, etc.]
Cut to Lee Marshall at the announcers' table.
Marshall: Fans, welcome to WOW Summer Swelter! [pyro and other pomp and circumstance] We're so glad that you've decided to join us here at the Great Western Forum for another pivotal moment in the history of the Women of Wrestling Federation. I'm Lee Marshall, and let me now introduce my broadcast partner for this evening. He is a man who is regarded as perhaps the greatest manager wrestling has ever seen. He has been on hand for many of the seminal events in the history of several federations. He is always controversial, and always entertaining. Ladies and gentlemen, I give you Bobby "The Brain" Heenan!
["The Brain" enters to suitable fanfare.]
Marshall: Good to see you again, Brain.
Heenan: I'm sure it is, Lee! I wish I could meet myself and experience
just how wonderful it is.
Marshall: Well, Brain, a lot has happened in WOW since you last joined
us at WOW Unleashed in February of this year. For one thing, the World Title
has changed hands twice. Selina Majors was able to wrest the belt from Terri
Gold.... the woman whom she saw as being responsible for her humiliating loss
to her arch-enemy Thug. However, Selina was not able to hold on to the championship
for long. She was defeated in her first title defense by Jungle Grrrl. Tonight,
Jungle Grrrl will defend the title for her first time, against Roxy Powers.
Heenan: Wow, well, Lee, you're talking about two amazing athletes there...
I would actually say the two best athletes in this federation. They're both
so strong and quick. That sounds like a battle to remember, for sure.
Marshall: Brain, the last meeting between Jungle Grrrl and Roxy was very
closely contested, and with the WOW title on the line, this meeting should be
even more intense. But we don't stop there. Every belt is on the line
at this historic Summer Swelter event. Thug will be taking on Tanja, Warrior
Woman for the Hardcore Title. Air Force will grapple with Caged Heat for Tag
Team supremacy. And Ice Cold challenges Jane Blond for the Intercontinental
belt.
Heenan: I like what I've seen from that Jane Blond! She is just absolutely
ruthless. And if she can't win it by herself, her Star Stable will pitch in
to help. No way Ice Cold can win that one.
Marshall: But Brain... Ice Cold is a very talented performer. In fact, many
observers felt that she would have won the Intercontinental Title tournament,
had not Poison interfered to take her out. And on top of that, she has a very
deep-seated hostility -- some even call it an obsession -- against the Star
Stable to which Jane Blond belongs.
Heenan: I don't care how crazy she is! Charles Manson was crazy too. How
many titles did he win? Lana Star isn't going to let her protege lose.
Lana is an outstanding manager. She reminds me of me!
Marshall: Well, let's look back at the history between Ice Cold and the
Star Stable, and see where all this came from.
[Video package detailing Ice Cold vs. the world. At WOW Unleashed, Ice was abandoned by her partner Poison, and Ice's head was then shaved. Poison later explained that after their team lost a handicap match to Lana Star, it was clear that Ice was no longer of any use to her. Ice got revenge by interfering in Poison's Intercontinental Title semifinal match, costing her a chance at the belt. Poison returned the favor against Ice later that evening. The two finally met in the ring at Spring Vengeance. Ice could not control her temper and got DQ'ed for hitting Poison with the ring bell. Ice then teamed with Jungle Grrrl against Poison and Jane Blond... and lost again. Poison then joined the Star Stable. Ice tried to confront Poison in the Stable's dressing room... and got beat down. Her behavior continued to become more paranoid and erratic, although she did manage to beat Jacklyn Hyde in a bitterly fought cage match. Ice finally got a break when Acting Commissioner Danger, displeased with Jane Blond and the Star Stable, punished them by setting up an Intercontinental match between Jane and "that psycho" Ice Cold, to be fought at next week's Summer Swelter event.]
Heenan: That little video package just proved my point,
Marshall. That Ice Cold is obviously a few cubes short of a full glass. I'll
be surprised if she can find the ring!
Marshall: Well, Brain, since you seem to love the Star Stable so much,
you'll enjoy our opening match tonight. Stable members Jaded and Poison will
be tag teaming against the Daughters of Darkness.
Heenan: Have those two fought as a tag team before? Jaded and Poison?
Marshall: No, they have not.
Heenan: That's some team. With Jaded's martial artistry, and Poison's
all-around skills... I would watch out for them.
Marshall: Well, let's see whether they can kick off their tag team careers
with a win here.
Poison grabs the mic and briefly gloats after the win.
Poison: That's right, baby! The Star Stable is still undefeated, and Poison is just getting started. You know what to do if you don't like it... [Jaded and Poison both turn around, slap their butts, and say:] KISS IT!
Back to Marshall and Heenan.
Heenan: Oh, man! I like that Poison! She knows that when
the ref's back is turned, everything is legal!
Marshall: Well, don't wear yourself out too soon, Brain, because we're
about to see a hardcore rules match. It's gonna be Jacklyn Hyde against Vendetta.
Heenan: So basically, we've got a nut against a felon?
Marshall: We don't like to think of them that way, Brain... Vendetta
is serving her debt to society, and Jacklyn has had a lot of...
Heenan (interrupting): Yeah, like I said, a nut against a felon! Sounds
like hardcore action to me! Let's go! I'm loving this!
Marshall: Brain, Jacklyn continues to show an amazing pain
threshold. A couple of weeks ago, you all saw her thrown not once, but twice,
off the top of a cage. [replays of this shown] Now tonight, she took intense
punishment at the hands of Vendetta. But ultimately, Vendetta's power moves
wore Jacklyn down, and she was able to score the pin.
Heenan: Boy, that Vendetta is strong. I would not like to be in
a ring with her and a bunch of weapons, lemme tell ya that. Very impressive.
Marshall: And Brain, Vendetta will be accompanying her Caged Heat companions
to the ring in what is undoubtedly the most anticipated tag team match in the
history of WOW. Caged Heat -- Delta Lotta Pain and Loca -- are facing Air Force,
which consists of Terri Gold and Beckie the Farmer's Daughter, for the tag team
titles.
[Video package detailing the Air Force-Caged Heat feud. The team of Air Force -- Terri Gold and Beckie the Farmer's Daughter --originally formed so that Bronco Billie could be liberated from the Star Stable. But the team became truly motivated when Caged Heat got involved in Terri's title defense at Spring Vengeance. Delta Lotta Pain interfered on behalf of the Heat's ally Selina Majors, costing Terri the belt. Air Force then beat Caged Heat in a non-title match, and rolled over another team that had done Terri wrong, the Daughters of Darkness. Although Beckie has expressed discomfort about the gradual abandonment of the team's original mission, Terri has insisted that the team continue to concentrate on the Heat. In any event, the team of Terri and Beckie is one of the most talented that could be assembled... but so are the reigning champs, Caged Heat.]
Heenan: It's too bad Vendetta can't be in the ring with
Caged Heat for that match, Lee. But I have no doubt that they can win it anyway.
Those goody-goodies Terri and Beckie make me sick!
Marshall: That figures. My opinion, for what it's worth, is that Terri
and Beckie are not only amazing wrestlers, but very admirable individuals as
well.
Heenan: Just goes to show that your opinion ain't worth much, Marshall!
Marshall: Well, we're set to see another one of your favorites work right
now, Brain... The Disciplinarian. She is going to be taking on Hammerin' Heather
Steele. The Disciplinarian has been taunting Heather, trying to hit her where
it hurts. She says that although she admires Heather's outstanding work ethic,
Heather just doesn't have the talent to compete with her. She was able to prove
her point in their first meeting, getting Heather to tap out to her deathlock...
but then Heather beat Discipliarian in a re-match. So this match will settle
the score between the two of them.
Heenan: You're right, Marshall... I do like that Disciplinarian. We need
more teachers like that! She could straighten me out anytime. And Heather
could borrow my drill anytime, too!
Marshall: Umm, let's go to ringside for the introductions...
Heather celebrates and works the crowd as a shaken Disciplinarian is helped out of the ring.
Marshall: I've never seen that finisher from Heather before,
Brain... appropriately enough, the Jackhammer!
Heenan: Oh, she just lucked out. The Disciplinarian had that match wrapped
up before Heather hit a Jackhammer out of nowhere. Pure luck.
Marshall: Brain, I know for a fact that you'll enjoy one of the matches
we're having later today. Riot is taking on the New Beach Patrol -- California
Bobbi and California Wendi -- in a Poolside Battle Royale. Let's take a look
back and recall how that came about.
[Video package detailing the Riot-Star Stable feud. In show #31F, Lana and the Star Stable were doing their usual self-promoting bit. Riot interrupted the lovefest and told the Stable that WOW was for wrestlers like herself, not wanna-be actresses. Riot then tried to attack Lana, but was stopped by California Wendi. Later that night, Riot faced Wendi in the ring... and lost after Wendi's partner California Bobbi creamed her with a chair. It was the first time Riot had been pinned in a singles match. Riot issued a very stern warning to Bobbi and Wendi, but later, they sneak attacked her and ran off. Riot demanded revenge at Summer Swelter... but her greatest nemesis, Acting Commissioner Danger, granted her wish in a unique way. Danger decreed that Riot would face Wendi and Bobbi in a "poolside battle royale", thus forcing Riot, at least for one match, to become what she had criticized. Although Riot was not at all thrilled with the match's conditions, she will take any excuse to beat up on the two preening lifeguards.]
Marshall: And Brain, Acting Commissioner Danger has clarified the rules of the Poolside Battle Royale for us. It's actually quite simple. Contestants are eliminated when their feet touch the bottom of the pool. The last wrestler remaining is the winner. There are no other rules... anything goes in the attempt to knock your opponent into the pool. We have a camera set up at poolside now, in preparation for the match.
Cut to the poolside camera. The usual accoutrements -- pool chairs,
a boom box, a water hose, etc. -- line the poolside.
Heenan: That's a nice pool, Marshall... but it'll look
a lot better when the wrestlers show up!
Marshall: Brain, Riot feels that Acting Commissioner Danger is showing
her a lack of respect by placing her in this Poolside Battle Royale. But considering
the rules that Danger has set, this battle could be a lot more dangerous than
she might have expected. There are a lot of things around that pool area that
could really hurt somebody if used with intent to injure.
Heenan: And all of these competitors -- Riot, Bobbi, and Wendi -- are
not afraid to hurt somebody! That's why you gotta love 'em!
Marshall: Well, if you love that, then you'll really love this
next match. Harley's Angels are taking on Law & Order in a pool hall brawl.
If Law & Order win, they must sell their pool hall; if Harley's Angels win,
then Law & Order can never bother them again. And again, Brain, anything
goes in this one... no disqualifications.
Heenan: Wow... four of the toughest women in WOW... fighting in a pool
hall... with stakes like that? This could get ugly. So let's get started!!
After the three count, Law & Order aid each other out of the pool hall where EZ Rider and Charlie Davidson lie.
Marshall: Holy cow... that was total carnage.
Heenan: Well, I guess that's that, then! Harley's Angels have to sell
the pool hall!
Marshall: That's right, Brain. Well, maybe Law & Order are right...
a lot of unsavory things have gone on in that pool hall. Maybe it really is
for the best.
Heenan: Of course they're right! They're cops!
Marshall (sarcastically): Of course. Well, what a battle we have
just witnessed. Slam Dunk and Selina Majors will try to top it now. Both women
are trying to re-establish themselves as World Title contenders. So expect them
both to give you everything they've got tonight.
Marshall: So Selina defeating Slam there... with a little
help from a microphone cable.
Heenan: Cheat to win, baby! I love it!!
Marshall: Well, Brain, we're almost all set for the Poolside Battle Royale
between Riot and the members of the New Beach Patrol. I spoke to Riot before
today's events began, and she had a few choice words for the Beach Patrol --
and for Acting Commissioner Danger as well.
Cut to pre-taped Riot promo.
Riot: Danger, I hope you're having the time of your life right now. Oh, yeah... I hope you're really getting a kick out of trying to screw me over and bury me in this federation. This last insult is the final nail in your coffin. You dare to try to humiliate the Riot by putting her in a "Poolside Battle Royal", and making her wear a swimsuit? By forcing me, a natural born wrestler, to engage in this mockery of the sport? You think that's a victory for you, that you suckered me into this match? Well, guess what... the only victories that count are the ones in the ring. And Danger... every time you've set me up to fail, I've come through and won anyway. After I beat those two bimbos, I'll have done it yet again. Because after all, nothing can stop the Riot. Danger, I can't wait for you to get healthy again. I probably want it even more than you do. Like I said, I hope you're having the time of your life right now. When you and I meet in that ring, Danger.. all your affairs had best be settled. Because you're not coming out of it in one piece.
Back to Marshall and Heenan.
Marshall: Whew... well, we're ready to begin at poolside with the Battle Royale.
Cut to poolside, where a bikini-clad Riot is jawing with the Beach Patrol (in their usual red swimsuits) before the bell rings.
Poolside Battle Royale (Riot, Wendi, Bobbi)
Marshall: Well, in the most unlikely of settings, Riot has proven just how tough she truly is. And speaking of tough, it's time to lower the cell, please. Because Thug and Tanja, Warrior Woman are fighting it out for the Hardcore Title in ... Hell in a Cell.
The cell is lowered, and the match begins. Tanja is dressed in her now-usual "workout gear" type outfit.
Tanja-Thug match (Hardcore Title)
A very emotional Tanja celebrates with the Hardcore belt. Her tag team partner Roxy Powers rushes the cell and celebrates with her.
Marshall: Well, Tanja, proficient with so many weapons,
has just proven that she is the toughest woman in WOW... and her reward is the
Hardcore belt. Tanja wore down Thug, hung in there against her assaults, and
finally knocked her silly with a thrust kick to the head. Thug still hasn't
gotten up!
Heenan: I gotta give Tanja her due. To outlast an expert brawler like
Thug is very impressive.
Marshall: Tanja is still celebrating, with her friend and tag team partner
Roxy Powers. But we'll see Roxy in that ring in just a few moments... and this
time, the spotlight will be on her. Because Roxy Powers is challenging Jungle
Grrrl for the WOW World Title.
[Video package detailing the careers of Jungle Grrrl and Roxy Powers. Jungle Grrrl beat Terri Gold in her first WOW outing... but proved unable to repeat the feat when Terri's World Championship was on the line. JG took her frustrations out on her succeeding opponents, going on a lengthy win streak and showing off her unique combination of incredible athleticism and strength. Eventually, she was given a shot at World Champion Selina Majors. Selina trash-talked JG before the match, but JG responded in the ring, achieving the win that finally got her to her championship goal. Can anyone defeat this force of nature? Her challenger is Roxy Powers. The "Total Athlete" reached WOW's top level via her feud with Slam Dunk. After two inconclusive battles, Roxy beat the previously undefeated Slam in a strap match. Roxy, a friend of Terri Gold and Beckie the Farmer's Daughter, then got involved in their feud with Caged Heat. Roxy defeated the huge Vendetta, and then overcame the interference of the Heat to beat Selina Majors. This qualified her for a #1 contender's match against her old enemy Slam Dunk. Roxy again defeated Slam, thanks in part to the seemingly unsolicited help of Terri Gold, and now gets the opportunity to win the greatest prize in women's wrestling.]
Heenan: I'm not sure I can wait for that match, Marshall!
That is simply an athletic showdown at the highest level.
Marshall: Well, we've got plenty more to come, Brain... that's just the
capper to a very full evening. The second most treasured individual prize in
WOW is going up for grabs right now. Ice Cold is coming to the ring, and she
will be facing Jane Blond for the Intercontinental title.
Heenan (as Ice enters): She's still bald??
Marshall: She has continued to shave her head regularly. She says it's
so she will never forget the wrongs that the Star Stable has done to her.
Heenan makes "cuckoo" noises as the match begins.
Ice-Jane match (Intercontinental Title)
A crying Ice cradles the Intercontinental belt. Poison, open-mouthed, watches in shock as Lana Star attends to the fallen Jane.
Marshall: Ice Cold completely overcome by the moment, Brain.
For all these months, she has been so angry... feeling that she was betrayed
by David McLane, by Lana Star, and most of all, by her ex-tag team partner Poison.
Now, after an epic battle with Jane Blond -- and after overcoming interference
from the members of the Star Stable -- she finally has achieved redemption.
Heenan (making sarcastic crying noises): Ohh! Ohh, I'm so touched! Boo
hoo hoo!
Marshall: Laugh it off all you want, Brain, but this could be a real
turning point in Ice Cold's career. She has not only dealt the Star Stable their
first loss, but cost them a belt as well. Perhaps now that she has exacted her
revenge, Ice can calm down a bit, and enjoy her position as WOW's Intercontinental
Champion.
Heenan: No way! She should never do that! She won that match because of
the killer instinct! I had it called all along!
Marshall: Sure you did, Brain. Well, we've got another title match for you
right now... Air Force and Caged Heat are finally going to meet with the tag
team belts on the line.
Air Force-Caged Heat match (Tag Team titles)
Terri Gold takes the mic.
Terri: I'm so happy to become the first woman ever to win two different WOW titles! Yes, I was the first WOW World champion ever... and the first woman ever to repeat as WOW World champion. But to become the first woman to win two different titles is even more special. It shows my diversity of talents, something that I'm very proud of. I couldn't have accomplished any of it without you... the fans! Thank you!
Beckie merely waves to the fans as the two exit, showcasing their new Tag Team belts.
Marshall: Brain, as she just reminded us, Terri Gold was the first ever WOW World Champion. Jungle Grrrl is the fourth to hold that title -- the most illustrious in the world of women's wrestling. Can Roxy Powers become the fifth? We're about to find out. It's time for tonight's feature event... the World Title defense.
JG holds up the belt in her usual triumphant, yet businesslike, fashion.
Marshall: Fans, that's all for WOW Summer Swelter. Let's sum up what we just witnessed.
So three of four titles changed hands tonight here at Summer Swelter, along with innumerable other highlights. You just saw the most beautiful and athletic women in wrestling give you everything they had. Tune in next week for more of the same! Check your local listings for WOW - Women of Wrestling! Good night!
WOWF Federation File (goes in main ZeusPro directory)
Moves List (goes in "moves" directory)
Lee Marshall Commentary File (goes in "commentary" directory)
David McLane Commentary File (goes in "commentary" directory)
Bobby "The Brain" Heenan Commentary File (goes in "commentary" directory)
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