Slashwrestling.com - columns by me (Tom Dean) and other, much better writers ;-)
Analysis of WOW, Inc.'s (presumably) final financial report
8/30/01: See Ya
First off, sorry for the delay in this update. The basic explanation is that my house, which is pretty old, is falling apart. Anyway...
Honestly, I've been surprised that there haven't been more eulogies written for our beloved WOW. WOW fans, although a small group, tended to be quite passionate. I suppose the incredibly drawn-out nature of the federation's death has truly ensured that it ends with a whimper. Or perhaps the more casual followers checked out months ago, and all we've got left are hardcore fans who believe it can't possibly be over. I suppose that would make sense, since that's the nature of hardcore fans.
Personally, I can think of a few reasons to say some quiet words and file out. I could say that six months is enough time to wait... that would be tough for anyone to argue with, I think. I could say that I don't think the federation has any realistic chance to come back... again, that would be tough to argue with. I could say that I wouldn't enjoy being suckered for the next few months by someone who is a huge sucker himself (McLane)... that is definitely true.
By the way, the new fan-friendly McLane organization will not have a message board on their website. The acknowledged reason for that is that they're afraid that people will post anti-WOW stuff on it. Of course, McLane knows what the modern wrestling fan wants so well that he doesn't need to hear anyone's criticisms... right? And let's ignore the fact that the unique opportunity to interact with the wrestlers is a huge reason why there are any WOW fans at all left by this point.
Since the organization now running WOW is no longer traded on the stock market, expect it to be as honest in the future about its status as it has been in the past... that is, outside of the financial reports that they were legally obligated to put out when they were publicly traded... which is to say, "not honest at all."
Six months from now, you will likely be assured that "if everything breaks right, we'll be coming back soon"... just as you were six months ago. Except this time, you'll have to take their word for it. Whether to do so will be up to you, since you won't have any solid information to go on. Just for kicks, though, when that day comes, you could look back at the old financial reports. Then try to figure out what reason investors and TV stations would have to justify putting millions of bucks into a property that seemed to demonstrate virtually no demand. Or why such a property would be able to pull something off that no one else in wrestling seems able to do. Or why the investors and TV stations would wait till the property had ground to a total halt before deciding to support it. Or how the organization could have long-term viability, even if it did somehow get going again.
Anyway. Deep down, most of you probably know all that. Back to summing up.
As I just mentioned, WOW fans were always a small group. Despite being on television in almost every major U.S. city, the federation's events were barely even reported upon. I was surprised that so few educated Internet fans, or "smarks", jumped on the WOW bandwagon. Honestly, WOW was a smark's wet dream. Smarks love nothing more than to second-guess the writing and booking of the WWF. But when it comes to the WWF, smarks don't have a good answer to the question "if you can do better, how come you don't have the job?" Vince McMahon is, after all, (close to) a billionaire. And if the WWF does something everyone hates, they usually realize it and fix it very quickly.
WOW, on the other hand, was written and booked in such a retarded manner that it's literally true that any thoughtful wrestling fan could have done a better job. And that point isn't even arguable... it's obvious. I would like to think that my own WOW fantasy booking is an example. WOW did 19 episodes of original material, four episodes of various repackagings, and one pay-per-view. My fantasy WOW season had 21 episodes of original material, three pay-per-views, and three PPV hype episodes that you can imagine in your head ;-) I don't think I'm being immodest to say that what I wrote would have made more compelling television than what WOW actually provided. Even if you thought my booking was stupid, I think you at least gotta give it that. I would hope that my work showed better characterization, funnier humor, more attention to detail, and a greater ability to make the in-ring action seem important.
Anyway, like I said, it's smarky fun to speculate about how WOW's writing and booking could have been improved. If you say you could have done better yourself, you're probably not exaggerating at all. That was certainly WOW's most obvious problem... but it wasn't the one most responsible for the federation going out of business. WOW willingly plunged itself into financial waters so choppy that they were essentially suicidal.
I have never been a wrestling promoter, but I can tell you this. Before this show even went on the air, someone must have looked at the situation that the company was about to get involved in. Someone must have seen that they were going to be spending almost a million bucks a month to get the show on TV, and that they were only receiving about $30,000 a month from their sponsors. Someone must have said "well, go ahead anyway, it'll work itself out." Someone was not living in the real world when they made that decision. And you don't have to know anything besides basic math to figure that out.
So if you want to criticize something about WOW, start with the business model... in terms of significance, the flaws in the writing, booking, production, acting, and wrestling all pale in comparison. Their business decisions ensured that the federation was doomed from the beginning.
Does WOW at least leave a legacy for the future? Unfortunately, it's easier to think of the negative legacy first. McLane has now failed four times to start up a women's wrestling federation -- Gorgeous Ladies of Wrestling (GLOW), Powerful Ladies of Wrestling (POWW), the Ladies' Sports Club, and now WOW. Infuriatingly to fans of the art form, he has made many of the same mistakes each time. One has to assume that now, more than ever, American women's wrestling is associated with McLane's corniness... and associated just as strongly with financial death. That can't be good. Even though McLane is the only person who has ever gotten a women's wrestling federation off the ground in this country, you nonetheless have to wonder if American women's wrestling would be better off had he never been born. Damn, that's insulting, but it really is true... his failure has been that total, and that consistent.
Okay, I've painted a rather grim picture. Can WOW leave a positive legacy? I don't know. No one can say how WOW will be remembered years from now. Will it be lumped in with GLOW as a cheesy amateur hour that was barely related to the rest of the wrestling world? Or will it receive credit for being the first U.S. all-women's fed to try to put women over as in-ring workers first and foremost?
If WOW alumnae eventually reach prominence in the wrestling world, that might help WOW be recalled in a more positive light. Or, if women's wrestling becomes a big part of the program offered by the WWF or some other future federation, we might look back and draw a connection to the ground that WOW had broken. I think that at least one of those two things will one day happen... hopefully both.
I hope that, somehow, WOW ends up being remembered favorably.
I very much enjoyed doing this web page and talking to all of you. I learned a lot of things in the half year or so I did this.
I learned that businesses will flat out lie to you... as WOW did when they said that their scheduled post-PPV taping was cancelled because "the girls needed the rest". I learned that businesses will stretch the truth beyond recognition... as WOW did when they tried to spin their shutting down as "the end of season one." I learned that businesses will say things are "definite" when they really mean "not totally impossible"... as WOW did numerous times when their webmaster, wrestlers, and management all solemnly reassured us that WOW would be back soon. I learned that a struggling business has little to lose by resorting to such tactics, and so they will be shameless about using them.
On the flip side of that, I learned a ton about how businesses work in general, and how the wrestling and television businesses work in particular. And I learned that everything -- and I mean everything -- ultimately comes down to those dollars and cents.
I learned that many employees show a lot more loyalty, dedication, caring, courage and guts than their management. The WOW wrestlers were set up for failure from the very beginning, and were given virtually no support at any point. But they still did their damnedest to improve their skills, to entertain us more, and to represent the organization incredibly well.
On the flip side of that, I learned that wrestlers are often the most gullible marks there are.
I learned that, even when you're not dealing with personalities and egos (which is undoubtedly the really difficult part!), writing and booking wrestling is very difficult. I learned how to write essays in a more direct and comprehensible manner. I learned that, if you look hard enough, you can find the truth, and if you try hard enough, you can explain it to people.
On the flip side of that, I learned that not everyone wants to base their opinions on facts. Hell, I learned that there are all kinds of nuts out there out on the Internet. I learned that some people are just too innocent and trusting to believe that anyone would ever lie to them or mislead them. Other people only believe what they want to believe, and get defensive when their beliefs are questioned. And some people get so blinded and seduced by the idea of being an "insider" that they part with both common sense and common courtesy.
And on the flip side of that, I learned that there are a lot of folks out there on the Internet who are intelligent, open-minded, idealistic, articulate, and just plain fun to talk to. If you're one of those people, and you enjoyed my work, I hope you'll look for my name elsewhere on the 'Net writing scene. And if you're one of the people I got to know by doing this, I hope you keep in touch. See ya.