What Causes Arthritis?

     A man who smelled like a distillery flopped on a subway seat next to
     a priest. The man's tie was stained, his face was plastered with red
     lipstick, and a half-empty bottle of gin was sticking out of his torn
     coat pocket.

     He opened his newspaper and began reading.  After a few minutes the
     disheveled guy turned to the priest and asked;

     "Say, Father, what causes arthritis?"

     "Mister, it's caused by loose living, being with cheap, wicked women,
     too much alcohol, and a contempt for your fellow man."

     "Well, I'll be damned," the drunk muttered, returning to his paper.

     The priest, thinking about what he had said, nudged the man and
     apologized. 

     "I'm very sorry, I didn't mean to come on so strong.  How long have 
     you had arthritis?"

     "I don't have it, Father. I was just reading here that the Pope
     does."