Bad Taste? No Way!

Why do brides wear white?

The dishwasher should match the refrigerator and the stove.



Why did God put women's two holes so close together?

In case you miss.



A guy goes up to a woman in a bar and tells her

"I'm gonna make your nipples hard."

She replies, 

"Oh, yeah? My husband will kick your arse."

He continues,

"And then I'm gonna turn you upside-down, pour beer in your cunt, 
and then guzzle   it all down."

She says,

"That's it, I'm gonna tell my husband, and he's gonna kick your arse."

She goes back to her husband and moans, 

"A guy at the bar told me he was gonna make my nipples hard."

He gets really pissed off, and starts to walk out the door.
She grabs him by the arm, and says, 

"He also said he was gonna turn me upside-down, pour beer into my 
vagina, and then guzzle it all down."

Her husband turns around and walks back into the house. She says,

"What are you doing?"

He replies, 

"I ain't fucking with anybody who can drink that much beer."



What's a beaver?

A beaver is a small furry creature that sits on your face and eats your tongue.



A blonde walks up to a salesman and tells him, 

"I want to buy this TV."

He replies, 

"Sorry, we don't sell to blondes."

She then decides to go out for a complete make-over. She gets a haircut 
and new hair colour, a new outfit, and puts on big sunglasses. She waits 
a few days and then she walks up to the salesman and again tells him, 

"I want to buy this TV." 

Again he replies, 

"Sorry, we don't sell to blondes."

"How do you know I'm a blonde?"

"Because that's a microwave."



A guy's tossing peanuts into the air and catching them in his mouth.
In the middle of catching one, his wife asks him a question, and as
he turns to answer, the peanut falls into his ear. He tries to dig it
out, but that only pushes it in deeper, so he and his wife decide to
go to the hospital. As they're about to go out the door, their daughter
comes in with her date. They explain, and the daughter's date says, 

"I can get the peanut out." 

He tells the father to sit down, shoves two fingers into the father's 
nose, and tells him to blow hard. The father blows and the peanut flies 
out of his ear.

The mother and daughter are all excited, but the daughter's date says,

"Ah, it was nothing."

After her daughter takes her date to the kitchen for something to eat,
the mother turns to   the father and says, 

"Isn't he smart? I wonder what he plans to be."

The father says, 

"From the smell of his fingers, I'd say our son-in-law."



A couple comes up to a wishing well. The guy leans over, makes a
wish, and throws in a penny. His wife decides to make a wish, too,
but she leans over too far, falls into the well, and drowns.
The guy says;

"Fuck...it works."



Harry and his wife are driving in the country when he sees a sign
that says, "Cow For   Sale...$5000."

He pulls in and says to the farmer, 

"There's no cow in the world worth five thousand dollars."

The farmer says, 

"Oh, yeah? Take a look at this."

He lifts the cow's tail, and Harry sees the cow has a snatch just
like a woman. So Harry gets back in the car, turns to his wife, and 
moans,

"It's just not fair. Here's this farmer with a cow with a snatch like 
a woman, and it's worth $5000, and here I am, with you, with a snatch
like a cow, and you're not worth shit."