Okey poke. This is how the story goes, although it may be a little to traumatic for your little mind to handle. *tear* All better now. What I’m about to tell you will rock your world and make you *twitch* if you’re really lucky. It is the story of the fateful freshmen year of 2393.
It started like any other day, really it did. I woke up, sighed, and turned off my unbelievably annoying alarm clock. Then, like ahms from heaven, I realized it was my first day of high school. I was out of bed in a flash, and was showered and ready hours before school started. To pass the time, I got online. Was it fate? Unfortunately, no. It was just plain bad luck. Online were my friends Sara and Kyle, the latter a stranger to nearly all who will read this website story thing. Kyle said “Hello, you’re up early.” I pointed the same out to him. Then he left. *sob* Sara was going to my high school, though, so she had a long conversation with me. It concerned such things as “peanut buttered mice” (see full story for full effect), the sad story of Shawnakin Lightsaber, which will never reach public ears unless I write down the story, and a stray dog named Lucky (he doesn’t come into the story, but I thought it would be important to say his name) So anyhoodle we had our conversation and went to school.
That’s when the REAL trouble started. I got to school, and asked an upperclassmen for directions to my Pyroma-erm I mean my math class, and he said to go to the pool. I, being wise and knowledgeable, said there was no pool. He giggled. Then I turned around, and LO AND BEHOLD there was a pool. Only it was full of JELLO! (that’s not important either) So, I got to my math class. Then throughout the rest of the year bad things happened to Sara and me. FOR EXAMPLE:
I was walking down the hallway when I tripped and landed in the jello-pool (oops, i lied) and I nearly DROWNED if I wasn’t saved by, hard to believe, a teacher. It was scary. So scary I called forth my magical powers (see full story for full effect) and zapped him. He disappeared and then I realized he was the ghost of a teacher because teachers kill each other off every now and then.
Sara was walking down the hall when a strange janitor with a nametag saying Papito on it pulled her into the janitor’s closet. Then she kicked him and hit him and bit him and stabbed him with her fingernails and got out safely. Turns out she fell in the janitor’s closet. COINCIDENCE? Hmmm...
And yeah, bad things happened. Duh. And after all this falling nonsense, ya know, some ppl mysteriously vanished and were found in the jello-pool (oops, another lie) and everyone blamed a middle school math teacher named (to be anonymous) WOOD-ruff. So she was sacked (FINALLY!) And then she was found in the jello-pool *smacks self in forehead* and when they fished her out she said that Janitor Bud did it, but Janitor Bud died five years ago, so they sacked her again. Then Dakota’s marching band won state 754 years in a row and (to be anonymous) WILLY Crooz retired to a retired ppl’s home when he was around 46. The 754 years were squished inbetween. And I learned to play french horn, and got a job, and a car, and a girlfriend, and made millions upon millions of dollars (and enemies) and fired WOOD-ruff again once I had enough power.