June 2003
30 June 2003
I started my classes today. They were okay. Chemistry is going to be hella tough. Music theory...the most boring class ever. I took it thinking that it would be fun and interesting because it was music. No. It's just things that I already know like learning how to read notes in treble and bass cleff and reading simple rhythms. Gah. If it doesn't get harder I might drop the class. It certainly would make my life easier because I could come home sooner.
29 June 2003
I have nothing to say...
28 June 2003
Okay. Now I actually have time to write a real entry.
I'd fill you in about my trip to California, but it was too long ago and a whole four days. I'm just too lazy. Just to summarize the trip:
Oakland/San Francisco/Vallejo were really hot
Six Flags Marine World was fun
Got the new Jack Johnson CD (woo!)
Got a digital camera (finally! Yes!)
That's the jist of the trip.
Now...let's see...yesterday I went to Alex's birthday party. Loads of fun (knarlin! Ask me later). Today, went to the Rotary Auction expecting to go there to buy stuff but I ended up doing volunteer work for 2-3 hours. Oh! I got a pair of skis. They're pretty old but still nice. They just need to be fixed up a little bit. Anyhoo, after the auction, Katrina and I went to a late lunch at Isla Bonita, drove around for a while, went to Lydia's house where I tuned her guitar for her, and then we went to Kevin's house. That was...surprisingly enjoyable.
Megan comes back tomorrow! I'm so excited. I haven't seen her in three years. That's a long time. We're having a surprise party for her. It should be exciting.
I start my classes on monday. Gah. I've no idea where on campus they are. Parade rehersal is on the 2nd and the parade is on the 4th. Pegasus and, the leaving of my little hippo are on the same day! Sadness. I cry. And then I get the money from the donation jar and then I cry but not so much. :)
I'm tired now so I'm going to go to sleep. G'night love.
Mood: Tired, content, overwhelmed 
Song of the moment: silence
26 June 2003
This is my half-assed entry for the night. I'll write a full entry tomorrow when I'm not so tired.
22 June 2003
Leaving for California tomorrow morning. No worries, I'll be back on thursday. This trip should be 'exciting'.
21 June 2003
Crap. The grades came. Crap. When my mom finds out, I'm screwed. Crap.
21 June 2003
I hate thunder storms...I'd hate to seem like a baby but I'm freakishly frightened by thunder. Meep!
21 June 2003
Harry Potter came out today!
SPIRIT is your chinese symbol!
What Chinese Symbol Are You?
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20 June 2003
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20 June 2003
I'm so tired of being here
Suppressed by all my childish fears
And if you have to leave
I wish that you would just leave
'Cause your presence still lingers here
And it won't leave me alone
These wounds won't seem to heal
This pain is just too real
There's just too much that time cannot erase
When you cry I'd wipe away all of your tears
When you'd scream I'd fight away all of your fears
And I've held your hand through all of these years
But you still have
All of me
You used to captivate me
By your resonating light
But now I'm bound by the life you left behind
Your face it haunts
My once pleasant dreams
Your voice it chased away
All the sanity in me
These wounds won't seem to heal
This pain is just too real
There's just too much that time cannot erase
When you cry I'd wipe away all of your tears
When you'd scream I'd fight away all of your fears
And I've held your hand through all of these years
But you still have
All of me
I've tried so hard to tell myself that you're gone
But though you're still with me
I've been alone all along
When you cry I'd wipe away all of your tears
When you'd scream I'd fight away all of your fears
And I've held your hand through all of these years
But you still have
All of me
My Immortal, Evanescence
19 June 2003
I hate not having anything to do. For two years in the summer I've gone to West Sound Tech's culinary program which started right after school got out. I'm not going to be doing anything until the 30th! Gah! I don't know if I can do this...
19 June 2003
Such...a...lack...of...things...to...do...gah!
I suppose I could go help with the Rotary Auction...
18 June 2003
I had the worst nightmare last night. It was seriously so scary I woke up in tears believing that it was real. I dremt that my family and I were moving away to somewhere like Tahiti or something like that. I had known that we would move at the end of the school year since the beginning of school but I neglected to tell anyone. Finally, it was the last day of school and I still hadn't told anyone. When the day was coming to an end, I just burst out in the middle of class that my family was moving away and started crying hystarically.
Gah. Even though it was just a dream, I'm absolutely horrified. In 2 years I'm going to have graduated and everyone is going to be going to different schools. I hate saying goodbye. I don't want to lose anybody. I don't know what I'd do. I feel so...dependant on other people sometimes....I need a hug...
Mood: Frustrated, terrified. 
Song of the moment: Sonata Pathetique Movement No. 2, Beethoven
17 June 2003
I got my food handler's permit this morning. Now we have more options for fundraisers for band. Maybe I can still convince the officers that we should have a smoothie booth at the parade.
Yay for Gameworks tomorrow. I need to get away from my family. Any time that I'm away from them for a period no less than several hours, I'm actually happy. I need to be happy. It's like...my drug or something. I'm addicted to being happy.
16 June 2003
Look! Another fake entry:
Ave Maria
Gratia plena
Dominus tecum
Benedicta tu
In mulieribus
Et benedictus
Fructus ventris tiu Jesus.
Santa Maria, Sancta Maria, maria
Orapro nobis
Nobis peccatoribus
Nuc et in hora
In hora mortis nostrae
Amen
16 June 2003
Ah, okay. Here's the real entry. I just had that song stuck in my head earlier and I needed to get it out of my mind. Actually, I lied. There is no actual entry. I don't feel much like writing one.
16 June 2003
It's a better place standing high upon this mountain
I've seen your face full of the light that only this height can show
A blistered hand is what you've given
But you've been given all you'll ever need to know
So walk down this mountain with your heart held high
Follow in the footsteps of your Maker
And with this love that's gone before you and these people at your side
If you offer up your broken cup
You will taste the meaning of this life
It's a common ground and I see we're all still standing
Just look around and you'll find the very face of God
He's walking down into the distance
He's walking down to where the masses are
So walk down this mountain with your heart held high
Follow in the footsteps of your Maker
And with this love that's gone before you and these people at your side
If you offer up your broken cup
You will taste the meaning of this life
We're standing in a place of peace
This is how the world should be
--Walk Down This Mountain, Bebo Norman
15 June 2003
Although still very, very confused, I have decided that I really like bacon.
15 June 2003
After two very long bike rides which gave me much time to think, I've determined that I'm very, very confused.
15 June 2003
I hate my family.
14 June 2003
Ahhhhh...pushing myself to near exhaustion. That's always fun. Let me tell you, listening to Eye of the Tiger on the last hill of my bike ride was very...inspiring. Today was a fun day but...I'm still confused and in need of much thinking and talking to someone. The only problem is there's no one to talk to...I need a hug...
I think I'm having a bit of an identity crisis. Bah. Stupid lack of people to talk with...
Mood: Confused. Very confused.
Song of the moment: Superman, Five for Fighting and The Hammer Holds, Bebo Norman
14 June 2003
Mmm. Party at Laura's today. I'll probably only stay there a few hours and then come home on my bike. The long way. I need some thinking time.
13 June 2003
I think that...gah. The total amazing happiness that I got from Tijuana is almost totally gone now. I was riding on basically the longest emotional roller coaster ever. Everything before Tijuana was just the little ups, downs and turns in the beginning. Everything from the Compassion Overnight, Tolo, Tijuana, and drum major elections was the super incline. The day of the concert, that was like dropping almost straight down from right in the clouds. That's where I actually was. In the clouds. I was straight out happy.
Oh lookie here. I lost drum major. Okay. It's cool. I don't hate Molly. I do hate the fact that she won. I do hate Jay. It's cool.
I thought Tolo went well. Nothing happened after that...mmk...Why? Oh. He likes Britney? HA. *slap in the face* Thanks Britney for saying that you "weren't interested".
Gah.
I'm going to go cry now.
13 June 2003
Ah. I think I failed my Japanese final. Seriously. I couldn't fully translate any of the sentences. Bah. Hey, Bea and Mandy, whoever is reading this, if you guys have some time when you have nothing planned I could bike over there and hang out (I wanna hear you sing Mandy!).
12 June 2003
So stressed...gah! Why do I do so much work; more work than the friggin drum majors. Why do I care so much? I'm not an officer anymore! BAH!
I hope you didn't have too much trouble with the presnt. Wait...what am I saying? I do hope that you had lots of trouble with the present.
Side note: SCHOOL'S ALMOST OUT! Wait...not for me it isn't. I'm going to start school again on the 30th! Bah! Thwarted again.
11 June 2003
AAAAAAHHHH! FINALS!! 0_o *twitch twitch* AAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH!! *BOOM*
10 June 2003
Gahhhh...so stressed...
9 June 2003
It was so weird today with all the seniors gone. I actually sat in the commons for lunch. Not that much better. Actually, I don't think I'll be sitting there much. I don't really like it.
Also, it was actually easy to get out of the parking lot. Usually it took like 20 minutes or so just to be able to get to the main road. Today it didn't even take 5.
Bah.
8 June 2003
Okay, so amazingly mad right now because I just wrote a super long entry and then the page randomly decided to not work and make it dissappear so I will now do my best to recreate the entry. Actually, I don't think I can do that because it was really long so here's a summary of it.
Yesterday was the most mixed emotion day. I think that it was the first time that I've ever had tears of joy and tears of sadness. I'm really going to miss all my senior buddies. Who am I going to bother during lunch? That corner of the school will be empty now! It's so sad...I went to say goodbye to all of them after the ceremony and the tears were just pouring out.
I know that no one else reads this, but I'd still like to give a shoutout to all of my senior friends.
Best of luck and much love to all the seniors:
Anya, Genna, Jacob S, Jacob W, Jeanne, Jennifer, Lydia, Mari, Miles, Nora, Patrick, Ryan, Thomas; I'd say my brother, but I'm not going to miss him. He's just going across the water. He'll be back home pleanty.
The reality of them not being here next year really hit me today. I couldn't stop crying for the longest time. I hate saying goodbye...
You are a CLARINET
You're cool, calm, and laid back. You secretly wish
your name could be Rivers. (you rock!)
What Kind of Musical Instrument are You?
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You are a TRUMPET You're a concieted idiot, enough said.
What Kind of Musical Instrument are You?
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you're a bass!
what musical instrument are you, eh?
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you're a trumpet!
what musical instrument are you, eh?
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Violin
What Musical Instrument Are You?
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Clarinet
What Musical Instrument Are You?
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Pian
What Musical Instrument Are You?
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6 June 2003
Graduation is today. I'm all sad and such because all my senior friends are leaving...
5 June 2003
WHAT TYPE OF WILD CREATURE ARE YOU? (New Pictures!)
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You are Romans.
Which book of the Bible are you?
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You are an incredibly strong Christian! Way to go!
Are you a strong Christian?
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You are 12 Stones.
What Christian Band Are U?
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Goddess of winter, with a cold exterior but deep
down a warm, caring heart.
What element would you rein over? (For Girls)
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You are Psalms.
Which book of the Bible are you?
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An orchestra. You can't stick to one instrument,
you have to have the whole lot or it won't
sound right to you. You are loyal, unchoosy and
have alot of friends!
What musical instrument are you? (with pictures)
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4 June 2003
Went to Woodward to play with the 8th graders. They'd be a really good group if they'd only STOP TALKING! Gah. I'm so glad that Marshy is coming back for band camp. He'll whip them back into shape.
3 June 2003
So yeah...um, I think that things are cool now. Not totally, but like, between Molly and myself. I still...I don't know. It's hard for me to accept the fact that she's drum major. Even though we're still friends, I can't look at her in the same light as before.
Oh yeah, in case you were wondering, I got to this entry so early because we're supposed to be working on a project for History about Saddam Hussien but I don't want to. So there.
2 June 2003
Okay...I talked to Molly today...apparently she got the wrong impression. She now thinks that I hate her. This is not true. I do not hate her, but I do hate the fact that she is drum major. I hate how she was elected. I hate Jay.
1 June 2003
Talking to Emica, we came up with something interesting. Actually, she just told me an observation that she had made, but yeah. When LJ announced that Molly had won, kind of a hushed "oh shit" feeling fell over the gym. Only parents were applauding...and people being polite like me. Gah.
1 June 2003
I've just learned some shocking news. The election really was really close. It was a dead tie so LJ had a meeting with Jacob and Jay and they decided on Molly. I can't believe that they did that. I mean, correct me if I'm wrong, but that's just unfair, isn't it? If it was a dead tie, then there should have been a run-off. It's what's for the best of the band, not who LJ and Jay like more. It's not like they haven't had a run-off before. The year that Jacob was elected, they had a run off between him and Willy Griffen (thank God Jacob won). I don't think that my anger is directed so much at Molly any more. I'm so mad at Jay I can't even think straight.
Earlier I was talking to Laura about...well, can you guess? Anyway, I'm going to post some of it:
The5thLemming (4:34:30 PM): I really need to have a talk with Molly.
The5thLemming (4:34:40 PM): I haven't talked to her since before the concert.
zero61faura (4:34:56 PM): what do you want to say to her, if I may ask?
The5thLemming (4:35:08 PM): I don't really know. But we need to talk
The5thLemming (4:35:15 PM): if we don't, our friendship is going down the drain
The5thLemming (4:35:17 PM): I can feel it
The5thLemming (4:35:57 PM): I mean, something that major happening and then life going on just the way it did before without anything happening is not likely.
The5thLemming (4:36:01 PM): We need to just sort things out
The5thLemming (4:36:07 PM): and make sure that we're still cool.
zero61faura (4:36:30 PM): that's how I know you're such a cool person. You loose an election to something you've wanted since the beginning of freshman year, and then you worry about your friendship with the person who won. You've got a big heart, angela
