May 2003

31 May 2003
Ahhh...I just went on the longest bike ride. It was very theraputic. I was going to go over to your house, Little Hippo San, but my mom didn't want me to bike alone so I had to go with Kevin who didn't want to go that far. But that's okay. We went to KC's house which is on the end of the spit by Fay Bainbridge. Went there to toss a frisbee around for a while, after which we went to KC's house to watch Aladin for some random reason. Left there around 4 and went to Kevin's house. Had some nachos. Rode the long way back home. Lots of hills. I got a lot of anger out of me. I'm tired now...and smelly. I think I might to take a shower, make some noodles and then take a nap.

31 May 2003
I think I got something in my eye last night when I was crying. I woke up this morning and my left eye was swollen shut. I put a hot rag on it to make the swelling go down and that was about an hour ago. I can just barely see out of it now. Why is my body so sensitive to everything? I get hives from putting on certain lotions! Gah. This was my ramble of the day.

30 May 2003
Third entry of the day, so fucking what?
You know what my mom was just doing? She was fucking yelling at me. After I FUCKING LOST THE DRUM MAJOR ELECTION. She actually had the nerve to ask why I was so angry. WERE YOU NOT FUCKING THERE? DID YOU NOT HEAR THEM SAY 'MOLLY JACKSON'??? After she asked me why I was 'upset' which wasn't really asking at all, it was more of a yelling question, I snapped at her. As if anyone else in my position wouldn't have. She then proceded to yell at me about how I always talk back to her and about how much of a bitch I am. Now I can only use the computer for 10 FUCKING MINUTES. I seriously need to just get out of here which isn't looking very likely because becoming drum major was my ticket to a decent college. MY GRADES AREN'T DECENT AT ALL I HAVE Cs. MY BEST SHOT AT A COLLEGE RIGHT NOW IS CENTRAL OR EASTERN! I DON'T WANT TO FUCKING GO TO THOSE SCHOOLS! I've only ever wanted to go to UW and that's not going to happen now.
I'm not going to ever be as good as Calvin in her fucking eyes. I'm not going to go to the UW. I'm not ever going to have a 3.8 GPA. I'M NOT THE SAME FUCKING PERSON.

I just don't fucking understand how she won. EVERYONE I fucking talked to said that they voted for me. I talked to a lot of people. Yeah. It was a close race. Everyone in the band voted for me and LJ and Jay voted for Molly. Great. I love rigged elections.
I have such a headache right now...

30 May 2003
Another thing:
One of the most important aspects of a drum major is being able to conduct and to keep a beat. A constant beat. Jay can't do that. He can't keep a constant beat. You saw it. It was there, on the field when we were marching and Jacob was conducting and so was Jay except Jay was off by half a beat. It's the exact same way with Molly. You saw it at the auditions. Conducting to the Star Spangled Banner. Molly had trouble finding the beat and keeping with it. The problem that she had was not following the recording. The problem was that she didn't keep the beat in her mind. A good conductor has to have the beat in their mind. They have to hear it, feel it. It has to be in them. She didn't have it in her. If you concentrate too hard on being technical, then you will be robotic which music is not.

30 May 2003
Fuck it all. It's so fucking stupid. You know, I was trying to have a fucking good week. Yeah. That's worked out well.
Molly didn't even want to be drum major. Jay made her run. She wasn't even going to run until a week before we started practices. I've wanted to be drum major since my first day at band camp freshman year. Ever since Jacob Sarget first called us to parade rest. I knew that that was exactly what I wanted to do. SHE DIDN'T EVEN WANT TO FUCKING RUN.
It's so fucking rigged. I know it now. Michelle lost. LJ likes Jay better. I lost. LJ loves Molly. It's not even just drum major. Even for office. Kevin won. What a surprise. KLOUS FUCKING WON. HOW THE HELL DID THAT BASTARD WIN??????? I'm just so fucking pissed off.
Molly was like one of my best friends. I don't know if I can deal with her. Tonight I couldn't even look at her. When I was in the hallway crying and she came in and was crying too, I just felt the need to get the hell out of there. I can't fucking deal with all of this.

29 May 2003
Went to the school board meeting. I think that we made a good impression but not quite the impression we were hoping to make. The people there totally missed the point of us being there. We were going there in hopes of installing a full time position over at Woodward. Everyone stood up and kept saying how great LJ was and that they thought that we should keep her. Great. But that's not what we wanted to say. They know that LJ is great and that we want to keep her. They don't know that we want a full time position at Woodward instead of the part time one that Mrs. Simons is proposing. Golly gee wiz. And you know what? Thomas wasn't there. He was the most gung ho person about this whole going to the school board meeting and he didn't show up! BLAH!

29 May 2003
BLARG! Tomorrow has so much potential for a absolutely wonderful, magnificent, spectacular day. There's the moving up assembly, yearbooks, field day and all that. Tons of fun because it's just hanging out with friends all day and stuff. After that! Band officers have a meeting after school. After the meeting, SB officers (me, Kevin, Molly, and Nick) are going to get dinner. Probably fake Chinese food from Safeway. Then...the concert. Ahh...if only I could win. I want tomorrow to be an absolutely supurb day. I hope it is.
Mood: Hopeful
Song of the moment: Always Something There To Remind Me, The Hippos

28 May 2003
Ahhhh! Only 2 days until we find out who's going to be drum major next year...AH! THE SUSPENSE! It's actually not all that bad. The waiting. It's really killing Molly not knowing. I laugh at her. Ha.
Michelle told me that if I lost not to cry. I sure won't try to, but sometimes those tears just start flowin'.

28 May 2003
Gaaaaah. I'm only going to this budget meeting for the good of the band. Half of the officers aren't even going. Stupid them...

27 May 2003
Mmmmmmm...budget meeting tomorrow. 3-4 whole hours of sitting and listening to clubs give reason as to why they should get more money. It's funny how band gets just about the least money out of any of the clubs and yet we have the most members. Bah. Oh well.
Beatrice, if you don't mind, I'd like to meet Mandy. She seems like a cool person.

26 May 2003



WHAT TYPE OF WILD CREATURE ARE YOU? (New Pictures!)
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You are Bob Marley!

Who are you?
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26 May 2003
I really want to go on a bike ride but my mommy won't let me go alone...

25 May 2003
Oh yeah, I forgot to say: I have an updated movie list. I watched 4 1/2 movies yesterday due to Calvin being out at Prom and me having nothing else to do. So yeah.

25 May 2003
Heehee, Calvin went to Prom last night. He's still sleeping right now so I think that I'm going to go wake him up and ask him questions. Later much.

24 May 2003
I was just thinking today, a really fun (at least for me) Homecoming/Tolo date would be going to Gameworks. I mean, you know. Play games all afternoon, have dinner there, and then go to the dance. I think that would be a lot of fun. I don't know why I thought of this. But I did. So there.

24 May 2003
Asian luck worked so far, eh? Now we just have to keep using it until next friday when we find out who won.
Calvin's going to Prom today...heehee. It's funny. Really.

23 May 2003
Gah. I want to kill Ffitch, Mike and Klous. They seriously need to shape up. All those questions they asked today were not cool.

You are Tank, from "The Matrix." Loyal
till the end, you spare no expense in ensuring
the well-being of others.

What Matrix Persona Are You?
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You are a Rubber Band.

What Fruity Object Are You?
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22 May 2003
Ahh. Did concert band and percussion ensemble today. Wasn't as bad as I thought it would be. Oh yeah, one more thing...
I LOVE YOU LITTLE HIPPO-SAN! THANK YOU! I can't say it enough. I love you so much, you are such a great friend. Thanks for always being there and supporting me and listening to me bitch and moan about my problems. Love ya!

21 May 2003
Crap. Concert band an percussion ensemble tomorrow. Crap. I can't do it. I can't get the baton up into the pike. Crap. I'm going to lose. BAHHHHH!
Mood: Still screwed.
Song of the moment: The Hammer Holds, Bebo Norman

20 May 2003
Baaaaaaah, shoot me now. Need to get grade up....aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhh...
Oh my gosh. Drum major elections are in 2 DAYS!!! I don't know if I can do this...

19 May 2003
Crap. I'm so dead. There's no way I can get my grade up by the end of the semester. Shit, shit, shit. If I have a C I can't go to Tijuana next year. Shit.
Mood: Screwed.

18 May 2003
Tijuana slide show was today. Michael did a really great job. The pictures really captured the spirit of Tijuana and the music that he chose to go along with it was just wonderful. Anyhow, after the slide show, Katrina drove Michael and I to Lydia's house because she left her sleeping bag at the church (since we came back from Tijuana!) and we dropped that off. We stayed there for a while looking at her ducks (which I gave her). After that we went to Walt's to buy food which we ate at Michael's house. I had Ben and Jerry's ice cream for the very first time; Phish Food. Good stuff. Watched Indiana Jones and the Raiders of the Lost Ark for a while and then I had to come home to get ready to teach piano and here I am now. Good times.
Mood: Content. Calm.
Song of the moment: Sanctuary, Tijuana songbook

16 May 2003
Bah. Drum major elections next thursday and friday. So soon! I really doubt that I'm going to win. Molly's so much better...
Yay! Yang's mom let us borrow a bunch of pirated DVDs so I'll have an updated movie list soon. Gotta go, watching Catch me if you Can

15 May 2003
Die die my allergies. I wish that certain people weren't such jackasses. Certain parental units need to die now.


You are the fox.

Saint Exupery's 'The Little Prince' Quiz.
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14 May 2003
I have a math test tomorrow...I really need to do well on it or else my grade is going to be in trouble (not that it's not already) and I won't be able to be drum major...GAH!

13 May 2003
My thoughts today are a little scattered and so my entry will be, too.
I wrote a poem today about Tijuana and Asian-ness. It was actually quite theraputic.
I need to get away from my family. They're really just...gah! I don't know.
I'm so glad to actually be doing something for this entire summer. Classes at Seattle Central Community College. Chemistry and Music Theory.
I really hope that I see friends this summer. Last summer that failed. Sure, I saw Kevin and Laura about every week, but come one. How about a little variety? I love Laura to death and Kevin is, well, Kevin. I just want to see more of the people that I love but everyone is always gone...and when people are not gone, they do things...without me...


You're depressed. Really you are. And you
definitely have a reason. You often space out
and stare at things blankly, even if you're
normally hyper and energetic. This is because
nothing really seems important anymore. You
might just be sad right now, or you might be
manic depressive. Don't worry. Have some cocoa
and stuff'll be ok.

How Depressed are You?
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Strawberry Pocky! You're energetic and you probably
bounce around a lot. You're also a bit naive,
and you probably fall in love easily.

What Kind of Pocky are You?
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11 May 2003
I...ahh...I need summer. I need...to be drum major...except that I'm bad at conductin, twirling, and everything else that has to do with drum major-ness...I need Carnagie Hall...


You should be a Pisces, Sensitive, imaginative, multitalented, multifaceted, intuitive, compassionate, people oriented, sympathetic, receptive, big-hearted, generous, but can be escapist, unpredictable, irrational, gullible, passive, indecisive, weak, uncertain, clueless, vague, lethargic, vindictive, lazy, self-indulgent

~*What is your TRUE Zodica sign?*~
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Your ideal mate is Bobby Drake. With his innocent
sweetness and his boyish good looks, how can
any girl go wrong? He's the type of guy to
supply you with all the TLC that you can
handle, and he'll always be there for you when
you need moral support, or just a shoulder to
cry on. Though he is still young, he lacks the
experiences of life, and can be naive.

Who Is Your Ideal X-Men 2 Mate? (ladies only)
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Japan - Viewed as the technological powerhouse of the 21st
Century, it has lived a reletively solemn and
singular history.

Positives:
Technologically Advanced.
Economic Superpower.
Healthy Populace.

Negatives:
Small.
Isolated and Sometimes Ignored.
Unlucky with Disasters.


Which Country of the World are You?
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8 May 2003
Blarg...my frustrations are getting to be too much...

Song of the moment: My December, Linkin Park

7 May 2003
Jason has failed again. He said that drum major auditions would be on the monday before the concert. We don't have school that day. I swear I'm going to kill that boy.

6 May 2003

Yale You're second best, and you know it. Still, those
riding the crimson wave may be slightly
smarter, slightly more prestigious, but you
know you're hipper. I mean, you're not hip --
your a nerd, for fuck's sake -- but you're
hipper.

Which Ivy League University is right for YOU?
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You are Strider. The world needs to be more like
you. Be proud.

What Lord of the Rings Character Are You?
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5 May 2003
I must say, driving is fun. I got to talk to some people that I almost never see today. That was enjoyable.
327 days until Tijuana 2004
Mood: Okay. A little better than normal.
Song of the moment: Every Breath You Take, The Police

4 May 2003

Piano recital...blah.


You are Wolverine! A loner by nature, you feel uncomfortable when
around those you don't know and even those you
do. You are awkward when it comes to
relationships, but fiercely loyal to those you
love.

Which X-Men character are you most like?
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you are BLINK 182

what band or singer are u?(with imagesss) =))
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3 May 2003
I need a hug...

2 May 2003
Yay, Branford Marsalis and Seattle Symphony tonight. This makes me happy.

1 May 2003
I'm quite relieved that I made Wind Ensemble...although, I can't believe that certain people made it (e.g. Doug, Thomas, Willy). It makes me really wonder...
Mood: Confused

The Dante's Inferno Test has sent you to Purgatory!
Here is how you matched up against all the levels:

Level	Score
Purgatory (Repenting Believers)	Extreme
Level 1 - Limbo (Virtuous Non-Believers)	High
Level 2 (Lustful)	Very Low
Level 3 (Gluttonous)	Low
Level 4 (Prodigal and Avaricious)	Very Low
Level 5 (Wrathful and Gloomy)	Low
Level 6 - The City of Dis (Heretics)	Very Low
Level 7 (Violent)	Low
Level 8- the Malebolge (Fraudulent, Malicious, Panderers)	Low
Level 9 - Cocytus (Treacherous)	Very Low

Take the Dante's Inferno Hell Test