[A wide angled lense is zoomed in to the complete max, leaving a very up close shot of the recognizable face of Marcus Gaines, but only him. A microphone is close to his lips. It's obvious he is on a city street somewhere, as the microphone picks up slight fluctuations of wind current. He waits a few moments before beginning to speak, but as he's given an off-camera cue which can't be seen or heard, but we instantly know there was a cue by the look in Marcus's eyes, he begins to talk.]
Gaines: Seriously, I don't think there's any calm rationalization for thinking ill towards me. I just do what I do. No single opponent I've faced has been anything to write home about as far as i can recall, which isn't all that much to be honest. Now I'm not one to expect too much from born losers, but you'd think Mister Viscosity, Johnny V. would have something better to say than try and insult my sexuality. I mean, sure if that's his thing, and I guess I feel his pain, although I'd never experience that kind of uncomfortability with my own sexuality, personally I'm not that confused. [Marcus looks closer into the camera.] John-boy, if you are indeed having an identity crisis call the children's help phone now. [He smiles and moves his head away from the camera.] So I guess if he want's to do the whole "gay" joke sh*t, ok, I'm not afraid of lies. It's the truth I'm after, so I'll just play his l'il game for a smidge of time. Now, I don't know how much he paid that "69" she-male, but it must have been something over ten figures if she's to act like that. Viscous, if NO woman is interested in Rob Van Dam, then no certifiably REAL woman is interested in you. And speaking of looks, lets examine that facet. Just look at the guy, he looks EXACTLY like some guy I saw in some other wrestling federation that I won't name because of copyrights and GWA will break my legs if I breach contract. But talk about unoriginality, am I right? I saw someone else who looked exactly like him in some other federation before that as well. I'm not one to ask the "chicken or the egg" question a lot, but seriously, he could have taken the money he spent on hiring that little harlot, 69, and instead put it into plastic surgery to make him look a little bit more presentable. What do you think about it?
[The camera finally zooms away from the close-up of Gaines's face and into a wide shot revealing him with another man, they both are indeed outside, on a street corner. The man is wearing a pin-striped business suit and standing immeditaly across from Marcus holding a microphone to his mouth, the man is in his forties and has a terrible comb-over. He doesn't look like any GWA interviewer I've ever seen to be quite honest. But the man goes about talking.]
Man: Well I don't know... not my business really... I-
[Marcus interjects sharply as the man is speaking cutting him off of saying anything meaningful. And the camera zooms back into Marcus' face in an extreme close-up again.]
Gaines: And, Viscous has the nerve to make excuses for skipping out of the match on Insurrection. Does he think either me or that beach bum are gullible? It probably took him a week just to get the nerve to send that promo of his to the station that broadcasts all these piece of sh^t broadcasts. It isn't like he is any less of a man then he already was in my mind just because he's a chicken. I already knew he was a wimp, so he isn't exactly saving any face by running over the last week's lineup. At least Splash Williams had the guts to come to the ring, even if he really wasn't there in mind or spirit. Viscous, you don't stand up to you're mistakes, and I hate that. I hate that more than I hate you almost. I said ALMOST, there. Take some sort of responsibility for you're cowardice. Or is the next promo gonna be about how you were too busy to make it to Insurrection because you were dedicating a new "Johnny Viscous" line of cosmetic products? Who are you fooling? You can't compete with Revlon, or any other of those pathetic companies. So I'm gonna ask that you at least admit you "wussed" out so I can get to stomping you're ass into next month at Avalanche. You know, it pisses me off that this guy is so egotistical that he thinks that just because the all mighty GWA says he's beat seven people, that he's invincible, I've beaten twice that in Mortal Kombat from Sega, so don't go telling me he's some piece of work. I'll call him a liar from now on. He isn't Johnny Viscious, Johnny Oil Slick, Johnny Viscous... Johnny WHATEVER anymore, he's liar. And I hate liars. Mainly because liars use furniture to elevate themselves above other people, I use physical prowess. You know?
[The camera again zooms out to reveal the second man. People mill about behind them on the sidewalk, and some younger people try their hand at being able to say they made it into some television show. The man goes to speak.]
Man: That's all well and good bu-
[Marcus again interjects as the man is about to finish his thought, and the camera again zooms back into the extreme close-up of Marcus' face as he smiles brightly into the camera.]
Gaines: Not so fast, gargoyle. I got more to say. I saw this promo from J.V. and I'd have to say it was the first I've ever bothered watching of his. And I have to say it was thoroughly disgustipating. The guy lies again and says something like, "I've never seen one of his promos before" Whose he kidding? WHAT promos? Sure there's been a camera following me everywhere I go. Even to my therapist's... that might have been a tad embarrassing, eh? [Does a rather gross over production of a chortle.] I think J.V. has actually been following me, come to think of it. This is sort of scary, he might be my stalker? Ah well, he'll get over this perverse fascination with me once he loses them there belts he holds dearer to his heart then any sort of gonhorrea creme. That's right, you heard it here first. I'm trying to think too hard about Viscous ya' know? Like he'll be any sort of trouble to me? He's like a mosquito, he makes an annoying little noise everytime he talks, he flies around the ring then lands on you're back, makes you itch sort of, then you slap it around, swat it, then crush it. Nothing too complicated about beating a... [Chuckles.] "wrestler" like that. So he should concentrate on at least putting in a respectable showing at Avalanche, but who am I kidding? He probably won't even show, in lieu of being such a dipstick he can't even hold an audience of drugged up gymnasium goers, Al Gore could pull that off no problem, and he wouldn't even mention vote counting in Florida. This all makes me light headed.
[The camera yet again pulls out to a shot of both men, Marcus puts his thumb and index on either side of his nose and closes his eyes to give his head a rest no doubt. The man with Marcus views this as a chance to talk.]
Man: Um sir, that was a nice interview and all. But I really need to get back to work, my lunch break ended about ten minutes ago.
[Marcus doesn't really react, and the man just walks off down the road. He has made it only about seven feet from Marcus when Marcus look up and over at him.]
Gaines: [Shouting at the man.] Hey, I'm not done interviewing you yet. [Quiets down and talks into the camera again.] Ah, well. He didn't say much anyway. I hate investment bankers.
[The scene fades.]
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*Tap, Tap*
[The scene fades back into see Marcus' hand on the camera lens looking rather annoyed at the man behind the camera.]
Gaines: What the hell was that?
[The camera moves up and down a little as the camera man shrugs his shoulders.]
Gaines: What, just because I'm done talking to that guy means you instantly fade out? What If I had more to say or do?
[Marcus pauses for a minute, looking angrily at the man behind the camera through the lens.]
Cameraman: Well that's usually how wrestler interviews are done, sir...
[Marcus sighs and shifts his weight to one side as he searches the sky for some answer to a question known only to him. Then looks back into the lens at the cameraman.]
Gaines: What is this amateur night? You'll fade, cut, star wipe, or just put the damn lens cap on when I say I'm done conducting interviews with people I find on the street. Come on, we're going to find someone else to talk to.
[Marcus waves his hand to direct the camerman to follow him. He walks down the street, his corduroy pants making a comical swishing sound as his legs slide together in mid stride. And his leather coat hangs loosely at his sides under the strain of the wind forcing the lapels to fly loosely in the air. The chordless microphone swings loosely in his hand as he walks along. The camerman follows along slowly keeping his distance from Marcus, obviously being slightly disgruntled at either not performing up to the man's standards, or being chewed out so bitterly by him.]
[It is crisp afternoon in Toronto the sun is shining but it's heat isn't felt on this day, and only the bitter wind has any effect on the people habitating the city. The setting looks to be Yonge street, people walk by the two in typical busy sidewalk fashion, some look into the camera or wave their hand in front of the lens but the cameraman is able to guide his way through the swarm. Marcus slows ahead and strikes up a conversation with an elderly man. The camerman decides to stop as and watch what happens with Marcus and the old man. The two seem to speak with one another, and briefly after the old man nods his head in approval of something, Marcus motions for the cameraman to approach.]
[The cameraman, whom we shall call Dave simply for not having to say cameraman all the time, zooms to a fairly wide angle so as to pick up both Marcus and the old man. Marcus holds the microphone up to his lips and begins to speak as he looks into the camera.]
Gaines: Well, hi again folks. I'm Marcus Gaines. The reason I'm here with this enfeebled old man is so that some more light can be shed on my opponents, and the partner I have no care in the world for. What do you think about it old man?
[Marcus moves the microphone to the old man's lips and the dave motions the camera to view the old man better.]
Old Man: Well I, uh, I'm not really sure what the topic is...
[Marcus pulls the microphone away from the old man and Dave follows to zoom in on Marcus in another extreme close-up. Marcus smiles into the camera.]
Gaines: Well let me tell you about it. I talked about liar numero uno. Let's discuss Jimmy Jackson for a while.
[Though the camera is on Marcus the old man can be heard speaking up.]
Old Man: I don't really know who that i-
[Marcus roughly interrupts him just as Dave is swinging the camera back to the old man, making him stop and go right back to Marcus.]
Gaines: Quiet old man, you're being rude. You'll get you're turn. As I was saying. Jimmy Jackson is what I call, a nobody. I saw him and that little tryst he had with Reina Sockittome or whatever, and he just never shut up. It was on and on about his ability in the ring and how he doesn't hit woman, blah blah blah. He doesn't seem to realize he's treading over no new ground that I can see. It's been done before, dude. How many people do you think have hit a woman? Geez, get over it, woman can fend for themselves. I think it was just another excuse for when he lost ya' know? He knew he was going to lose against that l'il b*tch so he made up excuses for why he would before he had to even face her in the ring. So right off the bat, him and his partner liar numero uno are making excuses for things, things that don't matter. I think everyone around here knew Jackson was gonna lose, afterall he doesn't even have the talent needed to step in the ring against a barn let alone a woman. If these two could learn that they're truly not that important, they'd figure out that they don't have to make excuses for the failings, it's just readily assumed they have some sort of handicap or other serious problem with their body. I mean, I know I wasn't expecting Jackson to do much other than run around talking about bein' "rock hard" or some such catch phrase that couldn't catch on in Estonia or any other loser country. So I s'pose Jimmy is now liar numero douze, eh old man?
[Again Dave zooms out to show both men as Marcus moves the microphone over to the old man.]
Old Man: Well yeah, I gue-
[Marcus bursts into the old man's sentance almost immediately, and Dave zooms the camera back into Marcus' face as he resumes talking.]
Gaines: Another thing about Jimmy Jackson that bugs me. He had to bring some other guy onto a show I've never heard of, and didn't even know existed until he announced it, this may be a callous thing to say but... who is Evan Levine? IF he exists, he doesn't exist in any place I've ever been to, and that means he isn't alive in my world, and that's all that matters. Is liar numero douze so desperate to win he needs to leech off the star power of his imaginary friends? If so, that's pretty damn messed up. Even moreso then liar number one. So I guess I should ask myself. Is Liar number two worth putting up much of a stink over if he needs imaginary friends to help him win matches? Or maybe give him some sort of confidence reinforcement when things get too tough? Thats hardly someone I need to worry about on a subway or bus let alone a damn wrestling ring. He might even try and wring his imaginary friend's neck when things in the ring get too hot to handle against me. Another thing they all have in common is they seem to think that because they like women enough to mention them in various sexual fantasies of there's they think that makes them real men. Moreso liar one than two, but he is still the same. And if I've learned anything, it's that I dislike anyone who thinks they're a real man if they can't prove it other than talking about wishing they had made sexual conquests. It disgusts me really, you to, pops?
[Marcus moves the microphone towards the elderly man and with that Dave follows it with the camera. The old man seems almost startled that he gets a chance to speak but opens his mouth eagerly to mention something.]
Old Man: Funny thing about that is; Back in my day we never trea-
[Marcus moves the microphone quickly away from the old man and to his own lips with camera's lens quickly in tow. The old man sounds a little put out but doesn't make much sign that he plans on leaving the area, perhaps he's more happy to be at least on film, even if he doesn't get to say anything.]
Gaines: Sure thing, daddy-o. In watching that whole Reina/liar two thing, I thought Reina made a good point when she mentioned the fact that liar two always says he can taste or smell the whole victory idea. Now sure, that was a good strategy, but honestly, it was a metaphor, even I could see that, plain I see that wart on this old man's forehead. It's the idea that liar two has nothing better to do than talk about what the hell he's tasting and feeling at the moment. If I wanted to hear all that, I'd watch The View. Who honestly cares if he can taste sh*t or not? Although if he's tasting sh*t I'd seriously suggest getting that checked out by a veteranarian pretty fast, or that's going to leave a damper on the match on Avalanche. I really can't say much else about Jimmy Jackson, because I haven't heard or seen much of him since around Monday, when all contact with him was mysteriously cut off. Hopefully GWA will have come to it's senses and terminated his contract before he stinks the place up anymore than one man possibly can. Either or, I don't like him much.
[As Marcus finishes up talking, he smiles impatiently into the camera, and his eyes explore beside him looking for the old man. As dave zooms out from Marcus' face, it is plain to see that the old man has given up on talking to Marcus and has left without either man noticing his absence. Marcus looks puzzled at the camera then merely shrugs.]
[The camera fades.]
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[Despite the camera being faded and all, Marcus can still easily be heard talking into the mic as soon as he notices the Dave has faded out.]
Gaines: Damn it, dude. What did I tell you? Fade it back in.
Dave: No. You've wasted enough time with this.
Gaines: [His voice gets hoarse as his irritation mounts.] Fade it in. Now.
[There is a slight pause after Marcus had spoken. And suddenly the camera's image came back with Marcus looking fairly happily into the camera again.]
Gaines: There's really no point in me asking anymore people what they think about anyone involved in my match. Everyone out here either has no tongue or they're camera shy. So I'll say this to you all in the hopes that this tape survives my brutal attack on the cameraman. The one man I didn't get to mention was Chris Carpenter, my supposed partner. I kinda' hate this guy, he has no vision, no real attitude, and I don't think he is too bright. I get the idea that maybe I'm going to be fending for myself on Avalanche, despite his so-called assistance. This tag-team match is nothing short of a joke, and if this Runner guy thinks he can shedule me in fights I don't care for then I'm going to have to agree with it. Only 'cause he's the C.E.O of the company, and the man who pays my salary, but at least he knows I'm fairly ticked off. You can fade now, dude. Nah, know what? On second thought, Star Wipe.
[The camera star wipes to a black screen, and Marcus Gaines' personal logo.]
