I'm so lonely
I just can't stand to be with people
I'm so bored
So I'll do nothing for a change
Waiting for the phone to ring
And hoping that it doesn't
Don't want to be by myself
But I'm the only one that's here

I feel the black
I feel the darkness
Drag me forward
Through the night

Empty heart
And desperation
Onwards searching
For the light

I see the light
It shines right through me
Sun rise heart
And perfect day

But all around me
There's a numb fog
All is fading
Fade to grey

I fear the grey
It suffocates me
Silent story
Never told

Dark of passion
Light of angels
Push me onwards
Save my soul

Dream of a blue flame
Flickering in space
Silver sparks in the dark
Clouds of bright fire
A wall of candles
Slowly burning out

I'm paranoid enough
I don't need your help
I'm delusional without you
I can be foolish on my own
Don't have enough highs
But I have enough lows
I'm screwed up enough
I don't need your help

Angel wings
Fluttered through a heart
Tender warm breeze
Sparkle in dark

Angels loving someone else again

I don't want to bother you
You've no reason to be concerned
I won't open up
So things won't close down
Alone here with nothing
I'll take nothing from you
I can look without touching
Pretend I don't care
Until someone bothers you
And you don't let it bother you

If I had nothing
Could you look inside?
See the pain + the hate and
the love besides
(if) I had nothing

I used to be so cold to the touch
But you, you brought the heat
You gave me fire inside
I warm to your touch
I'm warm to the touch

A million ways
A thousand roads
But only one I took
And now it's all too late

Many choices
Ways to go
But all in retrospect
And somehow I didn't see

christmas past
tears of joy
given everything
giving everything
forever
that didn't last

Falling flakes
Glistening light
Bright white beauty
But it all feels cold

Fire side wamth
Gift wrapped romance
Seasonal dreams
Not for the lonely

Coloured emotion
Festive cheer
Surrounded by joy
You drink to dull

Thanks for telling me you're tired
I'm sure last night was fun for you
Nursing all our hang overs
You knew just what you were doing

Thanks for telling me the truth
I need to know just how things are
Feeling so happy
I'm sure you will be, sure you could be

But if you're unsure for a second
Tell me
Because you know I'm sure
Tell me
And if he's too sure
Tell me
Because you're in control
Tell me

You took away my time
My one week of the year
Our extended riot
So now I sit inside
Somehow so denied
They too away our time
So wait some more
And I'll be older
As it all slips by
Somehow lost my time
Everything falls away
Cut down in my prime
Running out of time
Loseing all my life
Running out of time

I watch you walk
I watch you walk on by
I see you pass me by
I see you as only the lonely can see

I don't know what you mean
I don't know what you mean to me
Scared of what you mean to me
Think you might mean everything

I have security
But I'm hanging from the rope that holds me
I feel secure
But I'm caught up in my safety net
Choking on my medicine

Slow thoughts like continents drifting
Colliding at fault
Building heights and lows
Sinking into deep waters
Lost forever?

Early in morning
End of all days
Junction of truths
Start of all lies
(Alone in the dark)

I couldn't understand
Direction all lost
No motive, no excuse
No way, no where abouts
Unknown emotions
But maybe I think too much
+ you don't think at all

How can you feel nothing?

I can feel you sinking away from the distance
Your fantasy life seeming so unreal
Such care for some unknown tomorrow
So alive feeling so dead
A whole world of happiness
Makes it so hard to smile
The lights making dark darker
And all your cries silent
As you cry again

feeling you in my dreams
that nervous smile
careful 1st steps
just us two
but fiction

I remember
The dreams I couldn't touch
The time I couldn't have
The racing calm
My warmth so cold
so close yet so distant
So lost and so found
Leaving happy + sad

everything important walked away
memories are meant to fade
but it remains
that which lies within the mind
promises made to the world
and what's a new world
when I'm disconnected
when I don't follow my plot
lying here on standby