| You make me positively ill. I did not want to believe you capable of something as carnal as this, but I am forced to admit that my belief was misplaced. You are no better than the other commoners, when I thought you made of greater stuff. There was a time when I would have worshipped you, but now I see that I am better than you. Never would *I* stoop so low as to do what you have done. You truly deserve all of the spiteful things I said long ago in anger; you are no better than a common whore. To allow yourself to be overpowered by some insane, lustful moment is the absolute height of ignorance! I am still in disbelief, yet I know it to be true. My wrath knows no bounds, yet it knows no target, either. I am greater than you, and all those like you, it seems. Why must I always be a paragon of morality in a world gone to hell? Ah, but it is a comfort to know that I have more self-control than the rest of you combined. So what if I have no one? That simply means that I will never suffer another heart ache. I am finished with whores and morons. They, and you, make me sick; you are an affront to my control. A constant reminder of the disorderliness and chaos that I avoid. No, you no longer hold your sway over me; I'm sure that it frightens you to think that I am not as easily controlled as the rest of your thralls. And you... If you were near, I would tear off your arms and beat you to a bloody, half-dead pulp with them. Satan, himself, would cringe at the pain that I would visit upon your wretched carcass for what you have done. I can forgive many things, but this I cannot. May God have mercy on your soul, for I never will. I am through with this game. It seems that all I am to find is disappointment and pain, so I remove myself from the field. It seems that no one wishes to associate with such a demanding person, so I happily retire to my own devices. Play your games, run your rat-races. I shall watch from above and laugh at your witless escapades. My ultimate disappointment has been realized. My final trust broken. Go back to your kind; prostitutes and thieves, all of you! My faith in you has been destroyed. Leave me alone. |
| July 22, 2001: |