"Hi, my name is Debbie and I have to admit the idea of writing this profile was, umm, overwhelming, but here goes. I was born on Jan 26-1966 on my mother's 16th b-day. My mother is manic depressive, but no one knew that until I was about 18. My mom used drugs to try and regulate her moods. Anyway when I was born I was set up to be adopted so as soon as I was born they took me from my Mom and she didn't see me until I was 3 days old. I was reminded all my life of this. My Great-grandfather put a stop to the adoption though so I stayed with my Mom. When my Mom got tired of me she pushed me off on my Great grandparents. I spent probably about 3 years of my childhood with my Mom. She would keep us(my little brother and I)for a couple of months then dump us on the grandparents. The worst thing about that was how she would go about dumping us. One time she said she was going to a movie and she would be back in a couple of hours. It was a year and half. Long movie eh? I loved my grandparents and was much better off with them though. When I was 2 my Mom got married for the second time. My step father was very abusive to her and to us. My Mom's drug problem was real bad and so was his. They were both alcoholics too. When I was 2 my Mom had my brother. She didn't want him and because of her drug problem if he cried or anything I would get beat. So I learned to feed him through his crib bars, give him a bottle etc. My grand parents tell of a time the came to see us and I was feeding my baby brother spoiled milk(because that was all we had) and cereal through his crib bars. My grand parents took us with them that time. When I was about 6, my stepfather started molesting me. When I told my Mom she was real mad and she told me I had done nothing wrong. She took me to my Grand parents and she stayed with my step dad. This made me feel like it really was my fault. When I was 7 I broke my arm and no one told my Mom. She came to my grandmother's to borrow some money and she saw me. She got real mad cause no one had told here about my arm and then she took my brother and I home with her. Well I was kind of scared because of my step dad but I figured as long as my Mom was there I didn't have anything to worry about. Wrong I had been home for about two days and it started all over again, but this time my Mom joined in. This went on for about 1 and half years. Then when I was 9 we moved to Texas and my step brother came to live with us. He was 12 and he could tell right away what was going on. My Mom started leaving us with our step brother(which was an improvement because up until then we had been on our own),but my step brother was real cruel. He would do things like lock me and my brother in a closet and drop a butcher knife down to see if it would hit us. Anyway when I was 9 my step brother took my virginity. My step dad was so mad. My Mom told me I had really disappointed him because he had waited all those years to be the first and I had given it to my step brother. I never told my Mom that my step brother held me down with a knife to my throat and took it. Well my Mom said I had to make it up to my Dad and a couple of nights later she made me up real pretty and took me out into the living room and laid me down on a blanket. My step brother held one arm, my brother held the other and my stepdad and Mom raped me. I couldn't go through with it because it hurt so bad and I started screaming. My Mom told him to stop and she would finish him. Then my Mom told me I was a spoiled brat and they all left me there laying on the floor. I remember feeling like a part of me died then. After what seemed like forever to me I got up and went to the kitchen and got a knife and cut my wrists. I had seen my Mom do this a couple of times so I knew what I was doing. My step father came out about then and I ran outside and hid. I don't remember them finding me or anything for the next 3 days. I do remember going back to heaven and telling my guardian angle I didn't want to stay on earth. I remember him telling me I had to do my father in heavens will and I did want to please him didn't I? I said yes and the next thing I remember was waking up to see my Mom setting by my bed. She looked so worried. They had not taken me to the doctors because the would have gotten in trouble. Well this is getting real long so I am going to cut to the chase. When I was 9 my Mom left my Dad and went to a mental clinic. I was given to my mom's dad and he molested me until I was 13 when he gave me an STD and d-pass placed me with my step mother. When I was 14 I married my hubby and I have spent 19 years with the greatest man in the world. I spent all my life overcoming my child hood and learning how to raise my kids normally. I have two well adjusted normal kids and I am so proud of them. When I was 21 I had a hysterectomy . I had wanted many kids and this threw me into one of the strangest depressions ever. I heard voices. I actually though I heard God's voice telling me I would still have more kids and this was when I was first diagnosed with depression."
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