Author's note:
C&C are always welcome. Feel free to give good or bad comments on my work. All
criticisms directed at my work itself, will be accepted. But, please don't bash the
character-pairings. And I'll like to warn you, that most probably this fic, don't made
much sense, as I was under flu medication, when I wrote this, so well… I was too
"lost" to make much sense.
STANDARD DISCLAIMER APPLIED: I do not own any of the GW characters or mobile suits.
WARNINGS : Yaoi, Angst, Deaths, OOC.
Unlike the first two parts, this part does not follow the actual GW anime timeline. I
begged to be pardon for my inconsistency. Sorry.
(Sequel to Sorrow) This fic, can be read on its own, though its better to be read it after
"Sorrow".
~~~~~~ PART 1 ~~~~~~
<<HEERO>>
Seeing Quatre and Trowa cuddling, touching, kissing each other, always caused my heart to
shatter into millions of pieces… It hurt so much… so much… but this was the
best path for Trowa… I loved him too deeply to allow him to suffer by my side. He
deserved someone better, someone like Quatre.
"Hey, Heero! Oh Heero!" A voice penetrated my thoughts… I looked up and saw
Duo hanging at my doorway.
"What?" I asked coldly.
"Quatre called for an emergency meeting at his room, now!" the violet-eyed pilot
replied in his usual joyful manner.
Sometimes, it really puzzled me as to how Duo managed to remain so happy with all those
matters we were facing...
*****
<<QUATRE>>
"I've just received a mission message from the doctors, assigned to Heero and
Trowa," I reported.
"Hey, Quatre! You're not worried that Heero will snatch your lover, on their date,
huh?" Duo, the clown of the group, teased.
"Duo, its not a date," I laughed as I answered the long-haired pilot, "It's
a mission."
"Really?" Duo asked teasingly.
"Duo! Stop interrupting Quatre!" Wufei, the workaholic among us, snapped.
"Well… this mission is rather simple in comparison to all our recent missions.
But it is very important," I paused to check that everyone was listening, before I
continued, "Heero and Trowa are assigned to destroy the moon base totally, as it will
be one of the main suppliers for the final battle. Everything clear?"
"Mission acknowledged," Heero replied.
"…" Trowa as usual, just nodded.
*****
<<HEERO>>
"Mission accomplished," I said calmly, "All enemies destroyed."
Trowa just nodded. Since our fight sometime ago, Trowa never talked to me any time more
than necessary. I could not and would not blame him. What right did I have to blame him?
After all, it was my words that had hurt him. As we was about to leave, a man suddenly
appeared from nowhere behind Trowa, and fired his gun at him… Without any hesitation,
I pushed Trowa out of the way…
*****
<<TROWA>>
I was shocked beyond words, to see Heero's body slumping onto the ground at my feet…
I quickly reacted by gunning down that gunman and then, I kneeled down, beside Heero, and
scooped him into my arms.
"Heero!! Heero!!!" I called out, as I shook his body gently…
*****
<<HEERO>>
I heard the voice of the only person that I truely loved, calling out to me… With
much effort, I forced my eyes to open.
"Trowa…" I acknowledged in a feeble voice. His eyes were filled with
concern, and he was sobbing… sobbing? For me? I strenuously reached my hand up to
wipe off his tears. "Trowa… I… I … needed to… to tell you…
something…"
"Shhhhhh, don't talk now. Save your energy."
"No… I must… or… or else I'll never … have a chance
again…"
"No! Don't say that. You'll get well. You will!" His voice was agitated, so
unlike Trowa… It hurt me so… just seeing him felt sad for me… really hurt
me… I did not want this; I want him to be happy.
"Heero, please…" Trowa was literally begging me… But, I shook my head.
It's my body, and I understood it better than anybody else.
"Trowa… I know… it's better… if I…I don't say this…
but… but… I… I'm selfish… and I want you to… know how I
feel…" I gasped out my words, "I…I love you…"
On hearing this words, Trowa started crying again, "Heero, I… I love you too,
always."
"Please… please kiss me…" Trowa pressed his lips against mine, as my
eyes slide shut… I could feel my life force slowly disappearing… vanishing into
the darkness…
*****
<<TROWA>>
I felt Heero's body leaned back lamely in my arms… I knew he was gone… gone
forever… I sat there unmoving in the same spot for what seemed like hours, cradling
Heero's body in my arm, sobbing. I knew that it was of no use to cry… no matter how
much tears I shed, Heero will never come back to life… but I just could not seem to
stop myself. Tears continued to flow like a stream after a heavy storm… For once in
my entire life, I was totally at lost… I could not seem to control myself at
all… I tried really hard to get a grip of myself, to put back on my mask of no
expression… It was only after a long while, before I slowly started to calm
down… But, I still could not leave, not with all the tear stains on my face… No!
I must not allow anyone to see me crying… After all I was a soldier, and soldier
should not cry. It was just not right! It was only until all my tears dry up, did I stand
up, carrying the lame body of the one I truly loved away from this nightmarish place…
~~~~~~ PART 2 ~~~~~~
<<TROWA>>
I was the one who should have died… not Heero… I sat down, with my back against
the wall, hugging my knees and cried… its been so long since I last cried… I
didn't want to cry… but the more I tried to control myself, the more my tears escape
my eyes. I should not be alive… I… I should just end my life… but… but
Heero had sacrificed his life for me, I… I… would be wasting his life if I were
to suicide… yet… yet… Heero must be so lonely… being alone… I
must find him, in after life… I felt so confused. Never in my whole life had I felt
so lost, not even when I had lost my memory was I this lost… Suddenly, I felt so
frustrated with my life. I felt sick of this surroundings… I wanted to escape… I
wanted to die… Calming myself down, I stood up, and walked over to the table to
write… I needed to explain my situation and decision to Quatre. This was the least I
could do… I owed him too much…
*****
<<QUATRE>>
I headed towards Trowa's bedroom, to find Trowa, so as to inform him regarding some
changes made to our battle plans. On reaching his room, I knocked at the door.
Silence… Strange, Trowa had to be in his room… after all, ever since the death
of Heero, Trowa never left his room, unless there was a mission… I knocked once more
before finally deciding to try and push open the door myself. The door was unlocked…
and the lights were on… and lying on the middle of the room's floor… was Trowa
in a pool of blood… On the floor beside him, was a gun… He…he had shot
himself? But why?! Why?!! The sight appalled me so much, that moments passed before I
could react…
"Trowa!!!" I screamed, as I rushed forth towards him… I checked for his
breathing… but found none… he was died… I looked him over, and spotted a
paper clenched tightly in his hand. With trembling fingers, I took out the paper from
Trowa's hand, unrolled and read it…
// Dear Quatre, I'm a coward. I don't dare to tell you in words, so this was the only way,
I can think of. You must think that its very silly of me to kill myself, but I really
can't think of any other way to repay Heero's kindness. I have nothing, except my life. He
sacrificed himself for me. No one had ever done something like this before; I'm nobody of
any importance. I really don't know what to do, or how to react. You can call me a coward
for trying to escape from reality. But, I really can't comprehend such feelings. Since
young, I've learned that I have to protect myself, by closing up, by locking out all my
feelings. I don't know how to react to love and neither did Heero. I guess this is why we
can't be together. But now, with his death, I've understood that I really love him and
without him, there's no life for me. Quatre, I really thank you for all the things you've
done for me. Thank you, for being such a true friend. I really do not deserve your
kindness and love. I'm just a worthless being. I'm sure you can find someone much better
than me. I'm sorry. Goodbye, Quatre. Trowa//
Tears clouded my vision…
*****
<<DUO>>
I paced around, mumbling, "I'm sure they've received my message. I told them to meet
here, before the battle. Where in the world are they?"
"Wufei, have Trowa or Quatre contacted you?" I questioned the Chinese pilot.
"Nope." He replied in his usual calm manner, but there was a quizzical look on
his face, that prompted me on.
"It's at the verge of the final battle, and they've both disappeared," I
answered. My voice was clearly tainted with anxiety.
"What's the matter, Maxwell? You sounded pretty disturbed," uttered Wufei, as he
eyed me. "I don't know… it's just… it's just… I've got a really bad
feeling about this," I answered, sending across my nervousness along with my words,
"its so unlike them to be this late."
"Yes. I understand, your worries. After all, even a perfect soldier, like Heero, can
die," Wufei said quietly. His tone expressed the sorrow he too had felt, with the
death of our fallow comrade. No! More than that, much more. We were like a family…
*****
<<QUATRE>>
"I… I'm really… sorry Trowa… sorry…" I said aloud, my voice
echoing through the empty room, "Please forgive me, Trowa." I knew that Trowa
was dead and that I would never ever get to hear his reply… but… but I was still
hoping, praying that his spirit, his soul would be around still and would forgive me for
my mistakes. I had never meant to separate Heero and Trowa, I would never have wished for
any of my friends to feel miserable. I really don't mean it. But… but still…
they are… My tears poured down onto the lifeless body that I was holding… I
stayed in the position for quite a long while, before I regained some of my composure.
Then, I carried Trowa's body into his bedroom and carefully laid him down onto the bed. I
sat down beside him, my hands holding on to his, as I studied him… Trowa looked so
beautiful this way… so fragile… so peaceful… I knew I had no right to do
this… I was not the one Trowa loved, but still I bended down and planted a kiss
gently on his cold lips. Trowa… I straightened up, and gaze down at him… my
love, then, now and forever… Even though now, I knew that I would never win his
heart, and that the one he truly love was and would only be Heero, but still… I would
love him, only him, always.
"Goodbye, Trowa, I don't mean to leave you here, alone, but the battle called out for
me," I spoke audibly facing Trowa… as if… as if he was still alive…
but too me, he really was… and would always be, for he would always be alive in my
heart… It was definitely not within my desires, to leave his body lying here…
alone… he deserved something better… he deserved a proper burial, but… but
I had to return to war, now. I stood up reluctantly and walked briskly out of the room,
not daring to turn back… I could not turn back now; I knew that just by taking
another look at Trowa was enough to kill me… For now, the thing I really wish for was
death… to die with the one I loved… but I could not die… not now at least,
not with the war still on. I was needed to help stop the war, to stop the continuing
bloodshed. I knew that this was the path that Trowa too, would want me to choose. Goodbye,
my love, goodbye. I will join you someday… in heaven… or in hell, I will go
wherever you go… Goodbye, Trowa…
~~~~~~ PART 3 ~~~~~~
<<QUATRE>>
Unending streams of group after group of mobile dolls… one after another… When
would this ever stop? It was not within any human ability to continue fighting for hours
without feeling exhausted and getting hurt. Our opponents were but remote control mobile
dolls. They, unlike us, would not feel drained…
"Trowa, pass me your strength," I whispered. Calling out to the love of my
heart…Trowa… I could feel crystal droplets, slowly making their way down my
cheeks… for within my heart, I knew that we were doomed to fail…
*****
<<WUFEI>>
Most of the functions of my Nataku was no longer in working condition, and by looking at
the movements of my comrades' gundams, I could easily conclude that their gundams too were
suffering from the same fate as mine…
*****
<<DUO>>
Blood… endless flow of blood… I was soaked in blood… I was hurt but….
but I had to continue to attack… had to… I was weakening and was starting to
lose control of my 'partner', Deathscythe Hell.
"Shimigami to hell we'll go together," I said out loud, with a bitter smile.
*****
<<WUFEI>>
We were losing… This was an impossible battle, which we were destined to lose even
from the very start. We all knew that, all three of us. Yet, we still fought on… we
had to, because we were Earth's only hope… If we lost this fate deciding battle, the
White Fang would destroy Earth… We had to stop them, no matter how impossible this
was, we had to try… at least try… We needed to try and find the justice that was
buried within each and everyone of our hearts. We had to follow what we believed in. We
had to, as there was no other way out… I shut my eyes in despair… memories of my
deceased, head-strong wife flooding over me… Meiran… this will most probably be
my last and final battle… I will join you soon… Wait for me, Meiran… please
wait for me. Wait for me, up there, in the vast heavenly sky…
*****
<<QUATRE>>
I could feel my energy slowing draining… draining away… I felt so tired… so
very tired. Fatigue had finally gotten hold of me. All I wanted now was to rest… I
glanced out of the window of Sandrock, watching the endless stretch of space… and
smiled wistfully, knowing that I would never ever get another chance to see my family
again… I closed my eyes, fully resolved to let go… to give in to the weariness I
felt… It was odd, but I actually felt genuinely relieved, when the huge ball of
glowing red-flames blasted towards me…
*****
<<DUO>>
All of the sudden, time seemed to slow down its pace, creeping slowly by… as the
horror of witnessing the explosion of Sandrock, the gundam of my ever-caring friend, the
angel amidst us, unfolded slowly before my very own eyes… For once in my entire life,
I, the ever-talkative Duo, was actually suffered from a loss of words… Moments past
before I finally found my voice again.
"Quatre?!!!"
My shout thundered across the battlefield, bringing with it all the biting pains and
worries of my heart. But in return, I received only silence… total silence. Never
again would there be a reply… Never again would anyone be fortunate enough to hear
the sweet voice of the golden-haired angel… Goodbye Quatre, farewell to you, the
angel of mankind.
Goodbye…
~ THE END ~
Special thanks to Neesan Tracy (hugs) and Neesan Uni (hugs) for the C&C. ^_^
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