STANDARD DISCLAIMER APPLIED:
I don't own any of the Gundam Wing characters or the mechanics mentioned.
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PAIN
I woke in up in a daze…I…I'm still alive…But where am I…
I turned my head slightly to my left…ouch…. I winced mentally, only mentally,
but not physically. Even, such a small movement was enough to send endless tremors of pain
running through my aching body. It hurts badly, really badly, and I no matter how much I'm
trained to be the perfect soldier, the perfect killing machine, I am still human. As a
human, I too, like anybody else will feel the pain feeding away at my body; killing off my
senses…but unlike others, my face was a mask. I show no visible sign of pain, no
visible sign of distress, for I'm used to pain, pain has always been with me. Its part of
my life…no…its more than that. Its part of me. No longer will I feel hurt
easily; I'm numb, desensitized to pain, since a young age. Pain had long ago eaten up my
heart, my emotions, my soul. Numbing me from inside out. As my vision cleared, I saw a
person…no…a girl…a young lady to be precise, sitting with her back against
me in the far corner… I craned my neck for a better view…Relena? I shifted
myself slightly, and tried to sit up…but I was feeling so exhausted, alienated
exhaustion. It has been a very long time since I last felt this tired. I allowed my body
to drop back to bed, causing the bed to make a crackling sound. The girl stood up, turned
around and walked out from the shade, over to my side…
"Hi! I'm Catherine. Glad to see that you've finally decided to wake up," she
said in a bright, cheery voice, before turning towards the door, leading to this tiny,
dark bedroom, and called out, "Trowa! Trowa! Your friend has awaken!"
Trowa… Who is Trowa? I don't remembered knowing anyone named Trowa. At that moment
the door swung opened…and in walked a boy of dazzling beauty. He seemed so lovely,
like an angel, with the light that shines through the door outlining him, emphasizing his
physical beauty… The boy moved closer, coming to my side…his movement was
silent, yet full of grace…I was never ever so attracted to anybody, as I was to him.
He stared at me silently, with his one visible emerald-green eye…his eye seemed
depthless, seemed so mysterious, yet so lovely, like the boy. Every part of him was filled
with mystifying beauty…
A cheerful-sounding female voice broke my thoughts mid-way. "Well…it had been so
long, since you have last eaten. Guess you must be really hungry. I'll go make some food
for you," Catherine said as she turned to go.
I stared back at the boy silently for some time, before asking, in my usual monotone,
"Where are we? How long have I been here."
"We're at the circus where I hide, and you have finally woken up after one whole
month," the boy replied. His voice was surprisingly emotionless, like mine. I never
thought that I'll meet anyone who concealed his emotions as well as me…but yet his
voice seemed so familiar…Yes! He's one of the Gundam pilots…If I'm not wrong, he
should be the pilot of MS3, Gundam Heavyarms…
"One month," I said with a slight tinge of surprise, rare surprise.
Trowa nodded and continued, in his quiet voice, "To the world and to 'OZ', you're
already dead." He then walked towards the window, and drew back the curtains, letting
in rays of sunlight and stared out of the window. After a while, he turned back to face
me, and said, "Maybe…maybe we should all learn from you and killed
ourselves."
It's weird, really weird… It's been such a long time since I last experienced such
intense feeling. His words cut right through my heart and caused a sudden flow of panic,
of worry, of pain…it's been so long since my heart actually felt hurt, like now. Why?
But, my face as usual remained blank, and said in a casual tone of voice," Then, I've
only one warning for you, dying hurts like hell."
Trowa stared back at me for a moment and then, all of a sudden, he burst out
laughing… His laughter was crystal clear…it's been such a long time since I
heard such a lovely sound. The wondrous music of his voice pulled at my heartstring and
caused me to do something really unexpected, I started laughing. It was a real, sincere
laughter, unlike my eerie-sounding laughter, that I normally gave before I killed or
destroyed…
At that moment, Catherine came in the room, with a bowl of soup in her hand. She looked at
Trowa and then at me and back at Trowa in amazement and said happily, "It's really
unbelievable. I really wonder, what could actually make our stoic clown laugh?"
"…"
Both of us just stared back at her blankly. She looked at us and sighed, "I must be
imagining things, if you two would actually be laughing."
Catherine then walked over to Trowa and handed him the bowl of soup. Before leaving, she
looked at me, shook her head and said, "I thought Trowa is an extreme rare case, so
expressionless and quiet. But now…but now…from nowhere he brought home a friend,
just like him. Is this what people mean, when they said birds of the same feathers flocked
together? You two are still young, and should be livelier and happier. And Trowa? Do laugh
more often. If what I hear just now, was your laughter, all I can say is that it was
beautiful." She shook her head sadly, as she walked out. It's funny, but her
concern…her concern that was directed towards Trowa actually made me feel
angry…no…no…its jealousy. Jealousy? Why should I feel jealous? After she
left the room, Trowa pulled a chair to my bedside; he then put the bowl of soup on the
bedside table and propped me up with the help of a pillow.
"You're going to feed me?" I asked.
"…"
He just stared back blankly for a moment, before he shoved a spoonful of soup into my
mouth, allowing his action to speak for him. Normally, I would get very angry, if anyone
tried to do this. After all, I'm always an individual worker. I remembered the time, after
Duo had rescued me out from the hospital, I had insisted on fixing my broken leg by
myself. But…but now, oddly, I wanted Trowa to feed me…I wanted him to be near
me…Am I in love? Is this what one called love at first sight? No! It's not
that…it's just that I can sense a bond linking him to me, a bond of pain, of terrible
pain from the past…He too, I guess…no…I know, I can sense it clearly. He,
like me, must have had been hurt horribly in the past, causing him to be like me, to be
numbed from pain…to shut off from the outside world… After Trowa had finished
stuffing me with soup, he put down the now empty bowl and eyed me.
"What?" I asked.
"Bathe,' was all he said. He was like me, a man with few words. Trowa walked out of
the trailer for some time, before coming in with a tub of water, a towel and some clean
bandage in his hands.
"You do this always…for me?" I inquired.
"…"
He just nodded.
"Why?" I questioned.
He put down the tub of water on the chair, which he sat on just now, and dropped the towel
into the tub. Following that, he placed the cleaned bandages on the bedside table and then
helped me get undressed.
"Why?" I asked once again. My voice sounded strangely insistent this time. He
swept his long unusual bangs of his eyes casually and said in a calm tone, with a slight
touch of hidden humor, "I can't let you stink up my bed. Imagine allowing someone who
didn't wash up at all to sleep on your bed for one month."
"Where have you been sleeping?" I asked with a sudden pang of guilt. He pointed
casually at the floor.
"Sorry."
"For what?"
"…"
All of the sudden, I lost total control of myself. I stretched out my hand and pulled at
Trowa suddenly, causing him to loose balance and crashed down on my bed. I rolled over
him, trapping him down below me.
He stared up at me and asked coolly, "What did you do that for?"
"…"
I was speechless. Why did I do it? "I…I don't know…"
He looked up at me, and before I know it, his hand was behind my head, guiding me down to
his waiting lips, eating off my words with his kiss…It felt so good… Suddenly, I
felt something soft and wet teasing at my lips…Trowa's tongue. I opened my mouth and
allowed it to plunder my mouth, to spur with my tongue… Finally, when Trowa broke
away, we'll both gasping for air.
"Is this what you want?" Trowa asked.
"No, I want more," I said hungrily, hungry for Trowa, as I leaned down and
shower his neck with kisses.
"You, sure you're up to it," Trowa mumbled as he tighten his hands around my
waist.
I lifted my head up and stared down at him, and laughed slightly, "You want this too,
don't you?"
Trowa blushes slightly. He looked even more beautiful…more tempting…when he
blushed.
"Let's be fair," I said with a grin, as I caressed his cheek tenderly, "
You help me undressed, now I'll return the favor and help you remove your clothes
too." I reached down and help pull off Trowa's figure hugging turtleneck. He looked
so wonderfully lovely without his top on. I bent down and traced his body downward with my
kisses, stopping at his chest; my mouth sucking and teasing at one of his nipples, while
one of my hand toyed at his other. Mouth and hand switched places for numerous times.
Bringing out tiny gasping and moaning sounds from Trowa. Sounds that were music to my
ears, sounds that set me on fire. While my mouth and one hand was busy playing with them,
hardening them, My other free hand started moving downwards. Toying at Trowa's jeans zip,
before I pulled off his pants and his underwear in one go. Although such intimate acts
brought back horrid memories of abuses from the past, of pain that no child should suffer.
Yet with Trowa, I felt so hungry…so very hungry…I wanted to take Trowa…I
yearned for him badly… I continue my journey downwards, kissing him, licking him,
until I reached his aroused member. I teased its length with my tongue, before engulfing
it fully in my mouth. At the same time, pushing my fingers into him gently, stretching
him, preparing him for my entrance later. By now, Trowa was in a state of total ecstasy,
thrusting his shaft into my mouth, wanting me to take in as much of him as possible. Then,
he tensed, and spilled his seed into my mouth. I swallowed them all, savoring the taste of
Trowa. Then, I kneeled between Trowa's legs and stared into his eyes, I could see fear in
his eyes, fear and pain flooding his beautiful green eyes. He too had suffered like me; he
too had a childhood that was not meant to be.
"Trust me, Trowa," I said gently, tenderly, and at the same time, lifting his
legs up and hooked them around my waist. As I was thrusting inside the hot, contracting
channel of Trowa, I leaned down and kissed him, muffling of the sounds of pleasure that he
was making. It feels so good, being inside Trowa, feeling him hugging me from inside. The
pleasure of being joined with him in such an intimate way of indescribable. The bed rock
violently under me, under my increased force of thrusts, as I approached climax. Then, I
stiffened and released my seeds into his body, before collapsing onto Trowa. I snuggled
close to him, feeling his body heat and sweaty skin.
"I love you, Trowa," I whispered in his ear.
"Me too, err…"
"What?"
"Err…up to now, I still don't know your name."
"Heero. Just called me Heero Yuy."
"Yes, Heero," Trowa whispered back as he pulled me into a tighter embrace,
"I love you too."
~THE END~
Special thanks to Tracy for correcting my work. Also to Trowa and Michi who volunteered to
correct my work.
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