“Chloe? What happened?” Flora came into the ward, surprised at Chloe who was sobbing on the floor. “Are you okay?” She put her hand on Chloe's shoulder tenderly and asked, “What's wrong with you?”
But Chloe was just sobbing with her head down, so Flora comforted her sympathetically without any more words.
A sorrowful silence hung between them for a while, but Chloe suddenly broke it in a mournful voice. “Kip has gone....”
Flora was surprised at those unexpected words and turned her eyes toward Kip. But his body was still lying on the bed as usual. “He is okay. He is still on the bed.” She cast her tender eyes on Chloe to appease her sorrow, although she didn't know why Chloe had made such a strange remark.
“It is just an exuviae,” Chloe rambled on.
“What do you mean by that, Chloe?” asked Flora in a soft voice as if Chloe was a patient who was mentally ill.
“Kip once told me before that the larva of some kind of insect casts off its skin when it metamorphoses into an imago and launches into an imaginal world. In the same way, he has changed his way of life and gone somewhere, leaving the shadow of his true self on the bed.”
Flora didn't understand what Chloe was talking about because some of Chloe's words were jargon to her. “Do you mean his soul has been disembodied and gone somewhere in an imaginary world?” She tried to understand Chloe by taking a guess. Then, after helping Chloe into a chair, she checked Kip's condition just in case, although she didn't believe in such a supernatural or philosophical matter. As she expected, his pulse was normal and nothing was wrong with his complexion. “I don't see anything wrong with him. He is fine as usual.”
Chloe jumped up from the chair and looked at Kip, but he seemed to be fine as Flora said. “But I saw his soul getting out of his body and falling into the chasm of the earth!” she shouted, leaving Flora dumbfounded. “I saw some weird creatures here, too! They showed me a virtual image of the forest. When Kip came into the scene, there was a sudden roar of the earth, and he was gulped up by the chasm of the earth!”
“Chloe, you must be tired. You come here every day to take care of him, but I told you it was my job. So, why don't you go home and take a rest? I take my responsibility as a nurse very seriously. You don't have to worry at all. Please entrust me with all the care of him.”
“You don't believe me, do you? I really saw weird creatures coming through a tunnel in the window. The strange man I was looking for was here, too! He tried to convince me that Kip wanted to die. He even tried to persuade me to let him die. But they all disappeared after Kip went into the virtual image they made... I can show you some evidence that the weird creatures were really here.”
Chloe looked closely at the floor for the poppy seeds that had dropped onto the floor from the dangling hand of Hypnos. “Here they are! She picked up some of the seeds and showed them to Flora with excitement, but Flora didn't understand why Chloe showed such seeds to her. “These are the seeds which dropped off the hand of one of the weird beings I saw. He was so strange that he had a pair of wings attached on his brow, but except for that, he looked handsome. I don't know why he held such seeds. But because he appeared somehow asleep, he didn't seem to notice that he was dropping these seeds continuously.”
“Well, you can write a fancy story,” said Flora, who didn't believe what Chloe said. “I don't know why there are such seeds on the floor now. But if you found them and created such a story, I think you have a good imagination. He might be a knight you have longed for, who will set you free from the grief and take you to the sky where there is no restraint. That would be why he had a pair of wings attached on his brow. It might be a manifestation of your desire,” she said half in jest. But when she saw Chloe frowning at her words, she quickly revised her remark. “Well, I am sorry -- your knight must be someone else.<”
Chloe was embarrassed by those words, but Flora continued to say, “If the man you saw had glassy eyes, holding those poppy seeds, he might be an opium addict. You know opium is made from latex of poppy seed, don't you? He might come here to entice Kip into smoking opium. But don't worry. I'll protect him from such a bad guy if you let me take care of him.”She chuckled at her own joke, but Chloe didn't laugh.
“Don't say such a silly joke. I am seriously telling you that I really saw some weird beings taking Kip away! If you don't believe me, I can even show you other evidence,” said Chloe turning her eyes to the TV. “Look at the TV. Although it is not hooked up to a cable yet, it is on right now! Don't you think it is strange?”
“You can see basic channels without a cable if you have an antenna.”
“But no one turned on this TV now because it will be hooked up to a cable tomorrow.”
Flora curiously looked around the TV but found no antenna-like device. She wondered for a moment but just said, “Well, this must be a highly sensitive TV.”
When she turned the TV off, another nurse came to the ward to call for her. Flora looked at her watch in a fluster and said, “Whoops. I almost forgot, I gotta meet Dr. Rorschach.”
“Why do you need to meet my father?” asked Chloe, with worry.
“I don't know. But probably he will ask me again not to let you come here as he did before, because he might already realize you used his spare key to sneak into the hospital this morning. So....”
“Oh, no...please don't tell him about it. I'll put the key back before he comes home,” Chloe disconcertedly begged Flora for her mercy.
“I won't if you go back home now to take a rest.” She then asked the other nurse to take Chloe home and left the ward in a hurry. Chloe reluctantly left the ward, gazing at the poppy seeds in her hand, and said to the nurse that she could go home herself.
All the way back to the parking lot at the hospital, Chloe looked around carefully to find the man in the black cloak, but she didn't see anybody like him. She asked herself again if what she saw was hallucination. But if it had been, she couldn't have explained why she found the poppy seeds in the ward and why the TV was on. She was perplexed in the same way she was confused about the tree on campus of the university. Remembering it, she reminded herself of what the man in the black cloak told her about the arrogant feudal lord, Erysichthon. According to the man, he was given a sever punishment to die since he forced lumbermen to cut the trees in the sacrosanct forest. Similarly, the hunters who set foot in the splendid forest that was considered a sacred place were killed by the stag. Kip was also almost killed in the forest, although she didn't know what he might have done there. If he did something wrong, she speculated that it might be true he was gulped into the chasm of the earth in the virtual image she saw in the hospital. She also wondered if it was already forewarned by her premonitory vision of the dead tree on campus being cut down to bring the rest of its life to a termination, though it was actually not being cut. If she hadn't seen such a hallucinatory scene, she might not have come back to the hospital to determine the existence of the man wrapped up in the black cloak. She even felt herself led there by something unknown to see what was happening to Kip.
While her thoughts drifted from one thing to another, holding the poppy seeds in one hand, she was already driving her car to the forest to find out if there was really a chasm in the earth there.
She parked her car in the same place where Kip had parked when he had taken her to the forest the last time. Then, she got out of the car with the backpack he had used whenever he went to the forest. After she made sure the backpack contained a flashlight and gloves, she started to walk at a fast pace. But for fear of straying off in the dark, dense forest, she tried to trace the same way she had walked with Kip before, as she made her way toward the glade.
After a long walk, she found the fairy ring in the same place. It had grown much larger. However, she didn't see the bird that had led her to the glade the last time. And nothing there made a sound in the eerie silence with a mysterious thin mist hanging over the forest. Furthermore, it was growing dark and cold as it got closer to evening. She felt forlorn without anybody who could guide her, and her feeling of loneliness rushed her to walk through a clump of nettles, having forgotten to put the gloves on her hands.
Without knowing exactly which way she was going, she pushed forward until she came back to the same spot. She didn't know if she had walked the wrong way through the nettles or if the glade she was looking for had disappeared. She then tried to hear the roar of the cascades by cupping her hand behind her ear, but there she still heard no sound. Instead, she noticed that her hands were tingling and felt exhausted so that she dropped onto the ground and clenched her fists to bear the pain.
“Are you all right?”
She suddenly fancied she heard a faint voice. She carefully looked around, but it was already dark enough that she couldn't see anything clearly without the aid of a light. She took the flashlight out of the backpack and turned it on.
“Augh!”
She heard the voice again, but she didn't know where it came from. She flashed the light all around her, searching, holding the flashlight with her hand trembling with fear and pain.
“Don't cast the light directly on me. It is too bright.”
It was a very small voice, but she was sure that somebody was speaking. She tried to make all her body sensitive to any stir of the speaker, but she didn't sense the presence of anyone.
“I beg you not to cast the light on me.”
She was so frightened by the unknown voice that she tried to run away. But the small voice promptly said distinctly, “No! Don't go away. I know you need help.”
She stopped running and shouted out of fear, “Where are you? Show yourself!”
She again looked around cautiously.
“Come close. Don't be scared. I won't hurt you.”
She tried to focus on the direction from which the voice came and aimed the light there.
“Augh. Don't cast the light on me. Please turn it off.”
Chloe now figured out exactly the location of the voice and shined the light on that particular spot.
“Please don't. It's too bright for me.”
When Chloe gazed at the spot carefully by opening her eyes wide, she saw mushrooms in a ring there. “It is a fairy ring! Why do I hear from such mushrooms?”
She murmured to herself in surprise.
“I can show myself if you turn the light off.”
But she hesitated to do it until she could figure out who was talking. “Who are you? You should first tell me who you are.”
But the voice replied, “You'll see if you turn the light off.”
It was difficult for her to decide, but she gradually realized who it would be, remembering what Kip had told her about a fairy ring. So she fearfully turned off the flashlight and tried to adjust her eyes to the darkness as soon as she could.
When she stared at the spot carefully, a tiny gleam fluttered around slowly. It was a very delicate glimmer that warmed her heart. It must be a fairy! she thought. But it didn't look like the image of a fairy she pictured.
“Are you a fairy?” asked Chloe in a small voice.
“Yes, I am,” said the gleam, lightly fluttering onto the mushroom.
“But you just look like the faint glow of a firefly. I thought a fairy looked like a mayfly.”
“That's merely an image you have. People have their own different images of a fairy. So don't worry, even though I don't look like what you think I would be, because a fairy is just one in a fanciful tale, and there is no definite image you should have.”
“Wait a minute. You said you were a fairy, didn't you?”
“Yes, I did.”
“But you said a fairy was just someone in a fanciful tale. So, what is the one I am seeing now?”
“It's me.”
“I know it's you. But what actually are you?”
“I told you I was a fairy.”
Chloe was quite confused and tried to ask in a different way. “Okay. I understand what you are -- you are a fairy. How about...who are you?”
“I am a fairy,” said the voice plainly.
“I know.” Chloe was almost stamping her foot but tried to calm herself.
“How about...what is your name?” asked Chloe. That was the best way she could think of so far to ask.
“Well, people call me a 'Fairy godmother.' You know the story, 'Cinderella,' don't you? The fairy that helped Cinderella was actually me. People often consider me a benefactor. That's true. I am very benevolent, so I'll help you as much as I can. You want to bring your friend back, don't you?”
Its remark was very surprising to Chloe. “How did you know that?”
“I know whoever wishes for help sincerely, from the bottom of their heart. I help those people... simply because that's my job.”
Chloe was gaping at the tiny gleam, wondering if she was having a dream or hallucination again.
“I know you are wondering what such a tiny gleam can do for you,” said the voice, and the gleam flitted off the mushroom again. Then something like a human gradually loomed in front of Chloe. She quickly turned on the flashlight in surprise and shed the light on it.
“Augh. I asked you not to cast the light on me, didn't I?”
It was the same voice, so she turned off the light without any more fear. But she couldn't see it clearly now because it seemed to be wrapped up in a black cloak with a hood. “Now, I am what you think I would look like, right?” said the voice. Then it held a lamp out of its cloak. When the lamp shed a faint glow on its face in the hood, Chloe saw the haggard look of the old woman. “I've recently become emaciated,” said the fairy godmother, “since the time I helped Cinderella was the last of my beneficence. I used to burn with the youthful ardor of charity when I was young and used to think nothing of helping even thousands of people, but I've now become like cinders since I started to live a retired life. And what was worse, because I kept staying indoors in the dark, I became very sensitive to sunlight -- even to your flashlight. So, I am like the eyes of night now. In other words, I am like one of the stars constellated in a night sky. Do you know what I mean?”
The fairy godmother seemed to half grumble at her age, so Chloe didn't like to listen to her and even wondered if she could really help her.
“I suppose you didn't understand what I meant,” said the fairy godmother looking at Chloe, who didn't pay much attention to her talk. “Well, what I meant is, in short, that I can show my own existence only in the darkness. As you couldn't find me when you shed a light, nobody recognizes me unless I am in the darkness. I am like a star that emits a very faint gleam. Even the lucida, the brightest star, will not be recognized by anybody in the daytime.”
Chloe didn't know what the fairy godmother wanted to say at all. And to her, what the fairy godmother was like was of no concern now. She just wanted to talk about how she could bring Kip back from the chasm of the earth in the virtual image she had seen. But the fairy godmother, who noticed Chloe's distraction, said frankly, “Well, I guess you don't want to listen to my tedious talk.”
Because it was so sudden and candid, Chloe had no words for a moment.
“You want to talk about your friend, don't you?” said the fairy godmother in a low voice.
“Yes...I do. Well, I am sorry for my attitude about your talk. I was just wondering when you would start to talk about how you could help me to save my friend, Kip.”
“Oh, you call him 'Kip.' Is that his name in this world, or just his nickname?” asked the fairy godmother as if she were saying that Kip had another name.
“What do you mean? 'Kip' is his real name. He doesn't have any nickname.”
“Oh, that's right. I've just forgotten it. My memory tends to fail with my age.” The fairy godmother seemed to become flustered, so Chloe suspected there might be something she didn't want to tell. But she continued to talk before Chloe asked about it.
“Anyway,” said the fairy godmother brightly, “let me get back to the previous subject I talked about.... Well what did I talk about...?”
Chloe was dumbfounded and said, “You said you were like a star that was not recognized in the daytime.”
“Oh, that's right. I am glad you actually listened to me. You seem to understand all so far. Good.”
The fairy godmother looked amusing to Chloe, but she didn't know if the fairy godmother was really forgetful with age or if she was just making sure Chloe had listened to her previous talk.
“Now, I am going to make the main point. As I said that a star could not show its existence in a sky other than a night sky, your friend, well... Kip cannot find his own space to live in a place other than the abyss of his profound mind. He actually exists on a bed in hospital, but he is now invisible to people in the same way you cannot see a star in a diurnal sky. He, himself, is now going deeper and deeper into the profound darkness, where he can live most vividly...well, at least he believes so. The chasm of the earth into which he fell is obviously the manifestation of his mind.”
Chloe was astonished at the fairy godmother's remark. She seemed to know everything that had happened to Kip and Chloe, although she hadn't told her anything about it. As the fairy godmother started to talk about Kip, she became excited and couldn't help asking questions. “So, he is not on the way to the place for the dead such as heaven or Nirvana, is he? Has he just confined himself in his profound mind?”
But the fairy godmother gave an unexpected answer to Chloe. “I don't know. What I told you now is just my guess. I don't know if it is true or not. Unfortunately, I cannot tell you exactly where he is now. All I can tell is that he is now in a different world, not in this physical world.”
“I know he is now in a metaphysical world... isn't he?” Chloe promptly answered to the fairy godmother.
“That's right. I am glad that you study psychology. I guess I don't have to explain in detail for you.”
“But how can I go into such a world without knowing where it is?”
“You can go there. Just go wherever you believe you should go,” said the fairy godmother plainly. But it was not an answer to Chloe.
“Well, even if I knew where I should go, I could not go there in the way you open up his skull by a trepan to observe, for instance, his experience of tasting ice cream that is locked inside his mind. You can know the taste of the same ice cream he tastes, but you cannot know how he actually tastes it. Well, I don't know if this is a good example. But I think you know what I want to say. I suppose it is impossible to go into such a world unless I die to change my form of life.”
“Don't be pessimistic. There is always some means to make it. I know you cannot go there in a normal way. That's why I am here to give you a clue,” said the fairy godmother with a definite confidence. “You know a thaumatrope, don't you?”
“I don't know. What is it?” Chloe frowned at the sudden strange question.
“Probably you have seen it at least once before. For example, it might be a disk that has a drawing of a bird on its one side and that of a birdcage on the other side. The bird and the cage are now on different sides just like you and Kip are in different worlds now. You cannot distort the disk as you cannot warp time and space. Now, it seems impossible to put the bird in the cage. But if you give the disk a fast spin, the bird will get into the cage. If the disk is made of thin paper, you can even see the bird in the cage when you hold the disk to the sun. Similarly, humans and divine beings in fact live in one side and the other of the same world. So, humans once used to hold communion with divine beings a long time ago. In Neo-Platonic theocracy, people sought spiritual communion with gods through meditation. Likewise, because Kip had led a life, on the bed in the hospital, which was a contemplative life in a sense, he could commune with the abstract beings that you somehow saw in the hospital. They are as abstract as divine beings, and they are, in fact, ones that Kip called for.” The fairy godmother then held the lamp over Chloe's face to make sure if she followed her logic. “So, there must be some way to go into a different world. You just need some kind of ingenious device.”
Chloe was trying to understand all that the fairy godmother said, but she still didn't know how she should go into such a world. “I am sorry, I still have no idea what I should do, although I think I understood all you said.”
When Chloe apologized honestly, the fairy godmother put the lamp on the ground and pulled a magic wand out of her cloak. She waved it, casting magic on a pebble on the ground, and it became a hand mirror.
“This is another way in which you can go into a different world.” She picked it up and gave it to Chloe. “Look at what you see in the mirror.”
Chloe curiously looked into the mirror, but she saw nothing special. “I see just myself.”
“Yes. You see that you, yourself, are in the mirror. That means, although you are now in the three-dimensional world, you are projected into the two-dimensional world in the mirror. Do you remember where the creature you saw in the hospital came from?”
“From the tunnel made on the window... well, I should probably say it was in the window. It seemed like...that there was another dimensional world in the window, I suppose.” With those words, Chloe felt she somehow understood the way the fairy godmother was telling her to go into the world where Kip would be. “But,” said Chloe, still trying to ask more details, “even though I see myself in the mirror, it... well, the image of myself in the mirror is not under my control. The mirror merely reflects myself, and that doesn't mean I am in the mirror... because I am still here. How can I, my real self, go into the world in the mirror?”
“I didn't say you should go into the mirror,” said the fairy godmother.
“But you gave me this hand mirror. That's because I should go into this mirror, isn't it?”
“Not necessarily. I just said you should go to another world where Kip went.”
“But I don't know where it is. Where is it? Tell me where it is, please.”
“I told you I didn't know...just go wherever you believe you should go. If you figure out where it is, ask your pendant for its help.”
“Ask my pendant? Why do I need to ask my pendant? Is this not just a pendant?”
Chloe turned her eyes on her pendant with wonder.
“It is an emblem of peace and medicine.”
“I know. That's why my father gave this to me with his wish that I should go to medical school.”
“Yes...that's true. But it is actually given from your future father-in-law.”
“From my future father-in-law? What do you mean by that? Who is my future father-in-law?” Chloe was quite confused by the fairy godmother and her mysterious statements.
“You'll see. Keep in mind that you are always with his help. Never lose it. Never. Ever....”
Then the fairy godmother faded into a tiny gleam as her words faded away simultaneously.
“No! Please don't go! Tell me what you meant!” Chloe shouted eagerly, keeping her eyes on the gleam that are fluttering around.
“Whoops. I almost forgot to give you these shoes.” The fairy godmother again loomed in front of Chloe and showed her white high-heeled shoes. “These are ones I once gave to Cinderella before. These will be for your good luck. Put these on before you go to another world.” As soon as she gave the shoes to Chloe, she faded again into a tiny gleam without letting Chloe ask any more questions.
“It is too cold for the old hag now,” said the tiny gleam in a small voice and then disappeared.
