Chapter One


"STOP! PLEASE STOP!" Michelle yelled to her step-dad as he carressed her body up and down. She kicked him where it hurt and ran outside downstairs to the living room. Her brother and her friends were downstairs laughing to something they were watching on T.V. Michelle ran down the stairs crying and screaming lightly.
"What the hell is wrong with you?!" Her brother yelled.
"Jason! Help.. He's doing it again." SHe ran over to him and hugged him like a little girl.
"Get the fuck off me!" He knocked her down. She looked up and her step-dad was in her face.
"BITCH! If you ever hit me again I swear I'll kill your ass!" He slapped her and knocked her out. All of Jason's friends looked down but what they just saw was nothing. Michelle getting beat was a normal thing to be seen at their house. Michelle slowly opened her eyes and got up.
"Get the hell out of the way!" Jason pushed her away from in front of the T.V. She looked at him with water in her eyes and then turned around and went up stairs. She laid on her bed, and started crying uncontrollaby. She had gotten to the point her life where she no longer had any faith in God. She had given up on him the day she turned 8. That was the day when she was first raped by her step-dad and the day where her life changed forever. She hated her life and nothing would ever change. Sometimes she got tired of wishing for a new life, but that was the only thing she could do in life. She cried herself to sleep like every other night of her life...
"Mom.. Can I got to the park today?" Michelle asked quietly.
"I don't give a fuck. Do whatever you want." She said loudly drinking her coffee.
Michelle went upstairs and changed. She was wearing sweats with her hair up in a messy ponytail like always. She hated showing any part of her body ever since "the incident". She got her journal so she can write in it at the park. She left the house without disturbing anyone else. She slowly walked over to the park and went to her favorite part. The pond. She sat down on the edge and sat there thinking for a little while. She looked at the beautiful clean water and the ducks that swam in it freely. She tried to smile, but she couldn't. She didn't know how to. She guessed she was afraid to. She began writing...

February 16, 1999
Dear Journal,
Oh Gosh, Life is so difficult for me. It gets worse and worse everyday. John(my step-dad) tried something with me...AGAIN! He knocked me out later. I hate my life so much. I just wish that someday my life would change. Just for one minute I want to experience that word 'happy'. I want to be happy with a new family. But that's just a wish that will never happen. I want someone to fill all those holes in my life and make me smile. I want to learn how to smile. I want to learn how laugh. I want to learn how to be happy for the first time.
Michelle

Michelle ended her entry in tears. She sobbed quietly and wiped her tears. Sometimes she wondered if she would ever run out of tears since she cried so much. But that was just a joke that she hoped would make her smile... but it didn't. She looked at her reflection in the water. Her blue eyes were surrounded by red and her cheeks full of tears. Her clear light skin had brown hair going all over the place. She never really thought about being pretty or anything.. she never really cared. Although she had a great body she never showed it off. Never. She was scared of men ever since she met her step-father. She looked up at the grayish sky as she felt sprinkles come down on her. She liked the rain. She sat there for 5 minutes and just when it started pouring she got up and started walking home. She cried a little longer. She let down her hair and let it get wet. She went inside her house all soaked and walked upstairs.
"Where where you?!" Her mom asked.
"I went to the park. Remember?"
"Fuck Michelle! YOu don't even bother asking me."
"I did Mom.." Her mom got up and went to the stairs.
"Don't you ever talk back to me!!" Her mom slapped her and Michelle fell to her knees. She looked up at her mom and just ran upstairs. She went to the corner of her room, rolled herself up into a ball and cried.

|| + Chapter Two + ||