2Shy
3x06
"Talk about acid reflux..."
Okay, the "fat-sucking vampire" is on a first date with this woman. Why is it that she's in the driver's seat? That means that she drove. Now, I can buy aliens, government conspiracies, liver-eating mutants, and...fat sucking vampires, but what kind of a far-fetched story would have the woman driving on the first date. I don't care how New Age and empowered you are, it just doesn't happen.
Check out the early 90s shades on Mulder. [in that scene when he and Scully first enter the picture] It's Mr. Cool.
When the detective tell Scully that he didn't realize that she was going to be performing the autopsy, doesn't it look like she's sort of happy that he said that because now she can be mean to him?
Ah! The crap that he spits down chicks throats is CONCENTRATED HYDROCHLORIC ACID! I am now shuddering. IT'S NOT MY FAULT! REALLY, WHAT DO YOU EXPECT TO HAPPEN WITH A ROOM FULL OF TEENAGERS AND DANGEROUS CHEMICALS!? GEEZ! WE ALL KNEW SOMETHING BAD WOULD HAPPEN SOONER OR LATER! I DON'T NEED TO BE MADE FUN OF FOR IT! IT'S HIS OWN BLOODY FAULT FOR SENDING THE KID BACK NEAR ME ANYWAY! BE A TEACHER AND TEACH! I'M NOT GETTING PAID! Whoa....uh...sorry about that. Just move along...
Hey, ooo! The second chick, who he's priming for a meal, has a neighbor/friend. And the neighbor/friend is Tracy from Roland! Wow! That's exciting! Remember her? She was Roland's girlfriend-type person.
If Virgil Incanto [nice name by the way...you have to pronounce it properly by emphasizing VIRgil IncanTO] is in such need of fat, lard and whatnot, why doesn't he start his own business for it and be enterprising. I mean, if he could just control himself better, rich women would pay him to eat their fat! I mean, he could just learn how to use a straw. *Tap, tap....slurp* Bada bing! I mean, he could make millions. If he had scruples, then couldn't he just break into the hazardous waste bins from liposuction clinics. I mean, has this man not seen Fight Club [the cool movie, not the crappy X-Files episode]? What happened to America, people?!
Okay, I now take back my earlier remark about the car thing. Well, atleast my criticism of the episode for it, but the other comments still stand. He tells the women that his car is in the shop so they drive him home. This shows that a-women in Cleveland are gullible; b-VIRgil IncanTO is obviously not a very creative person, which could explain why he never decided to sell his services; c-Not only is VIRgil a stupid, lousy, evil, fat-sucking vampire...he's a bum, too! I mean, come on, Verge [his nickname from highschool, I'm sure]. Where are the wheels? Are you trying to make me believe that you have all of these books and things like that, but you've never taken some cash and bought a car? How about maybe taking some money from your dinner? I mean, it's not like they're going to be able to use it...
I remember that I saw the dude who played VIRgil on some other show, but I can't remember which one. I think he was still an evil, smarmy guy, though, so don't worry.
Okay, I'm pretty sure that this one line wasn't meant to sound funny, but I laughed hysterically when I heard it. When wild-man VERGE comes over to Ellen's house [after hours...uh oh...Pa, get out the shot gun], Ellen is in her pajamas, because, like any good citizen without a life, she was sleeping. She tells VIRgil "I'm going to go put on some clothes." VERGE says "You don't have to do that." That just cracks me up. First off, the idea that he's already seen you in your pajamas, so really, does it matter anymore? And then if you weren't actually seeing the episode, but you heard "I'm going to go put on some clothes." "You don't have to do that." Cool it VERGE!
Apparently, Ellen's computer is the fastest loading computer in the world. I mean, mine takes like two minutes to fire up completely and she's going and changing clothes, which should only take like a couple of minutes, and emailing friends, family, and the like about her DREAM DATE, VIRgil. And then when the VERGE just like opens the door to her room, which she is supposedly changing clothes in... Awfully brazen for someone called 2Shy! And why is it that Ellen didn't just close the screen when VIRgil came in? Why is it that I never seem to get answers to my questions?...
Okay, so now we are at the point when Mulder and Scully rush in and save the day. First off, did Ellen stop paying her electric bills suddenly? I don't recall all of these lights being off before. I honestly don't think that VIRgil would worry about mood lighting for his midnight snack. Maybe Mulder and Scully are just so used to the dark that they turned the lights OFF when they got there.
Another thing, if all that was necessary to prevent Ellen from melting like the Wicked Witch of the West [a.k.a. Diana Fowley] was just wiping the gooey HCl off of her mouth, couldn't SHE have done that herself with her arm?
All in all, this is a highly entertaining episode. I enjoy it because it is both scary, and funny, even though the funny parts are subtle and not really meant to be funny.
"Mankind
is divisible into two great classes: hosts and guests."
-Max Beerbohm-