Disclaimer: Let's make this short and sweet. I don't own them.
Warnings: Silliness, yaoi (1x2), Heero-torture

Duo Makes Lunch: Disaster Strikes
by: Akiri

"Please, Hee-chan?? Please????? Just this once??" Duo pleaded.

"Hn," Heero replied.

"Aww, come on Hee-chan! I promise I--"

"Gods, Heero! If it'll make the braided baka shut up, then just let him already!" Wufei interrupted, annoyed that Duo's incessant begging interrupted his meditation. Heero turned to glare at the Chinese pilot but was just met with an equally heated glare. He sighed and turned back to Duo.

"Ok, Duo. Just this once. But I'm warning you--"

"YATTA~!!!! I CAN DO IT~!!!!!!" Duo screamed as he glomped Heero.

"Get off me or omae o korosu!!!" yelled Heero.

"Sure you will, and when will that happen?" Duo asked sarcasticly, but still unlatched himself from the pilot of Wing Zero. Without waiting for a reply, Duo immediatedly bounced into the kitchen.

*********

The clanging of pot and pans, rummaging of cabinets and the crashes of things that had fallen could be heard throughout the house once Duo had started. Then.....BOOM!!!! Something exploded.

"Duo!!" all four of the pilots yelled once they heard the explosion. They all rushed through the door of the kitchen. Black ash covered every inch of the once-white room. Duo was also covered with ash, though you couldn't really tell with his clothes since they were black either way.

"What happened?!" yelled Heero.

"Nothing! Nothing at all!! Now would you please get out? I'm trying to work here!" Duo said. Before any of them could say anything they were pushed out of the kitchen.

~*~*~*~*~

Hours later, the door to the kitchen finally swung open and revealed a Duo still half-covered with ash holding a tray with 5 plates on it.

The pilots each took their respective seats at the dining table and waited for Duo to begin. Duo then placed a plate of.......something in front of each of each boy and one at his own setting.

He sat down and grinned, "Well, dig in!!" the pilots just stared at the brownish-green lumpy substance in front of them. After what seemed like forever, Wufei spoke up.

"Um......Duo? Ar....are you sure this isn't......alive?" he asked nervously as he poked at....'it' with his fork.

Duo glared at him, "Of course it's not alive! Now are you going to eat it or what?"

None of them made a move for their forks but Quatre ask, "W....What is it, Du-chan?"

"I don't know but I'm sure it tastes like chicken!" he said brightly.

"What's it made out of?" Wufei said, still poking at it.

"I don't remember. I just put a little of everything I could find in the kitchen," Duo replied nonchalantly. The others paled.

"W....why don't you try it first? I'm sure you would want to try some of your own cooking," Quatre said with a weak smile.

"No, I want Heero to try it first! Won't you please Heero?? Onegai??" he said as he batted his eyelashes at his boyfriend.

Heero gulped. He couldn't possibly resist that face. Besides, Heero Yuy, the Perfect Soldier, was not afraid of anything, much less a harmless plate of food. It was harmless....wasn't it? Heero gulped again. He tentatively reached for his fork. He speared a mushy lump of food and shakily raised it to his mouth. His mouth closed over it and.......

"AAAAHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" Heero screamed as he abruptedly sat up in his bed with cold sweat. He looked around as he panted. His room....Heero sighed. Just a nightmare.

"Heero, are you ok? Did you have a nightmare?" Heero nearly jumped at Duo's voice beside of him in the bed.

"No, Duo. Daijoubu," he said.

"I'll get you a glass of water. Ok, Hee-chan?" Heero just nodded as Duo got off the bed and out of the room. He once again gave a sigh of relief and fell back onto his pillow.

A half an hour later, Heero was wondering why it took so long for Duo just to get a glass of water. He was just about to go after him when the door opened. Duo came in and set a tray on Heero lap. On it was a glass of water and a bowl of...of....brownish-green guck.

"I thought you might like a snack," Duo said. Heero stared at it and did the only thing he could do. He screamed.

Author's Comments: *Evil Grin* Poor, poor Heero. Poor, poor pilot of Wing Zero. BWAHAHAHAHA~!!!!!

Back to the Fanfics!