Warning: Extreme weirdness. Yaoi. Pure, unadulterated fluff. I don't own these guys, or BN, but I do work there. Mako doesn't; she's in this fic anyway, cos she's kool. So don't sue, please. All I have is a pink plastic elephant I stole from Bel--erm..hahaha *sweatdrop*...anyway, you can't have it.

The Boys Do Bella Napoli

Duo drummed his fingers against the window, bored out of his skull. 'Man, this city is so ghetto.' [1] He stared disinterestedly at the buildings outside the car, when suddenly, they passed something that looked . . . fun.

"Trowa! Stop, stop! Quick, Tro, go back!"

"What's wrong, Duo?" Quatre said, leaning around the front seat in concern.

"We just passed an Italian bakery! We gotta stop. I'm starving!"

Heero whacked him upside the head, but then Duo gave him his one hundred percent fool proof, sure fire, gets 'em every time, hurt puppy-dog eyes. Heero sighed in exasperation.

"Whatever."

"Yay! I want a donut, and some tira misu, and a canoli . . . ."

Ten minutes later, Trowa had swung around the corner, the five boys had exited the car, dashed across the street, realized they had forgotten their money, gone back to the car, nearly got run over, found the money, nearly got run over again, and were now standing inside the bakery entitled 'Bella Napoli'.

It was a small bakery, though through a small glass window in the swinging door behind the counter they could see the building stretched back, almost to the bank of the majestic Hudson. [2] A girl with shoulder length blond hair was bent over a piece of glass, which was held between her leg and the donut case. She picked up a bottle of windex on the counter and spritzed a little on the glass, wound a few paper towels around her hand, and scrubbed mercilessly at a spot of jelly on the inside of the glass, glaring as she did so.

"Hey, Em. A blueberry donut decided it didn't want the honor of being eaten and self destructed ALL over the case," she muttered.

Another girl, with a short brown ponytail and glasses, looked up from a binder and a pad of paper spread out on the counter in front of her. She set down her pen and swept the whole mess to a little desk under the phone.

"Yeah, I noticed that when I was cleaning that case, Mako." She turned to the five boys looking around the room hungrily and smiled. "Hi, can I help you?"

Quatre glanced up at her and smiled back. "We're still looking, thanks.

"Ok, take your time."

Duo crouched down in front of the cake carousel, salivating. "Mmm, cake."

"We do not need a whole cake, Duo," Wufei said.

"Awww, but I want one. Oh wait, what are tho--" He was cut off just as his finger was about to press against the glass of the pastry cooler. Heero had yanked him back by the braid.

"Baka. She's cleaning. Don't make smudges," he growled, indicating Mako and her bottle of windex.

Mako nodded and glared, spritzing the Windex menacingly.

"Eeep! Sorry," Duo apologized, flashing a cheek grin. He hovered his finger a few inches from the glass. "What's this? The sign's falling down; can't read it."

"That," said Em, "is a magic bar. It's got brownie and chocolate and coconut and nuts, and it's really good."

"Can I get a box?" Duo asked.

"About how many pastries do you want?"

"Um, on second thought, hang on. We're all together; maybe the other guys know what they want."

Trowa sneezed. Quatre patted him on the arm. "Bless you, koi."

Em and Mako exchanged a glance. Mako raised an eyebrow as she finished washing the fronts [3] and came back around the counter.

"It's the windex," Em explained. "It always makes me sneeze, too."

"That's ok."

Quatre pointed to one of the cases. "Can I have two brownies, please?"

"Sure," Mako said, grabbing a bag and a spatula, and proceeded to fight with the brownies, which seemed welded to the pan.

"What does Bella Napoli mean?" Wufei asked curiously, examining the cookies.

"Beautiful Naples," Em answered.

Duo looked up. "Are you from Naples?"

"No, the owners are from near there."

"Do you speak Italian?"

"No."

Duo pouted for a moment, then brightened. "Are you Italian?"

"Yes."

"Sugoi!"

"Are you Japanese?"

"No, but I speak it. Do you?"

Em shrugged. "A little."

Duo grinned and glanced at Heero, who was at the opposite side of the bakery. "Ai shiteru, Heero-koibito!" he bellowed. Heero glared. The other boys rolled their eyes. Em and Mako looked at each other and giggled.

"I can hear you, Duo, and -- why are you laughing?" He asked suspiciously.

"They can understand you!" Duo crowed.

"Omae o korosu."

"Aw, Em, isn't that sweet?"

"Uh huh."

"So what'd I say?" Heero growled.

Amidst giggles, the two Bella chickies in their ever-so fashionable striped aprons said, "I love you, Heero-lover!"

Trowa raised an eyebrow and whispered to Quatre. "So I guess they knew what koi meant, too." Quatre blushed and nudged his boyfriend gently.

"I don't mind if you don't."

"No." He turned back to the counter girls. "I'll take a frosted scone, please."

"Mm hmm." Em nodded and put one in a bag, placing it next to Quatre's bag on the countertop.

"How about you?" Mako asked Wufei.

"I will have three pepper rings." [4] Mako put them in a bag and tossed it onto the counter. Em was taking care of Heero and Duo, so she went back to her cleaning, muttering about inconsiderate customers who got crap on her nice clean glass. The boys immediately backed away from the Windex-weilding Bella buddy.

"A plain donut," Heero said in his nasal monotone. Duo socked him in the arm. "WHAT?"

"Live a little. Throw in a cream, a glazed, and one of those chocolate frosted with sprinkles."

Em complied, then got a nice big box for Duo's goodies.

"Ok, I want one canoli, a handful of Amaretti cookies, a magic bar, a piece of this chocolate caramel mousse cake, a raspberry stick, a gourmet chocolate chip cookie, two cream donuts, two glazed twists with sprinkles, a large apple turnover -- that triangle one with the powered sugar, and half a pound of Italian cookies."

Em tied up the nice big box and was about to total everything up when the phone rang. Her voice became increasingly annoyed and she rolled her eyes at the caller.

"Hello, Bella Napoli . . . No, he's not in right now. No. No, he left at five. He always does. No one is here to take your call. Well, I'm sorry, but -- no, I can't do anything for you, try calling tomorrow before five. Yeah. Bye."

She grimaced at the phone and muttered about irate customers and messed up cake orders. She smiled at the five boys, who managed to smile back.

"18.62."

"Wow, how'd we spend so much?" Duo asked. The others glared at him. He grinned and laughed weakly and shut up when Heero yanked on his braid. He pouted. "Sorry," he muttered sarcastically.

Em and Mako exchanged knowing smiles.

Back in the car, Heero quietly ate his plain donut and a glazed one, saving the others for later. Quatre licked chocolate frosting from his fingers as he finished one brownie, and wrapped the other one up for a late night snack. Trowa didn't eat his scone, for he preferred to drive with both hands and non-sticky fingers. Wufei munched on a pepper ring, while Duo -- well, Duo managed to polish off his raspberry stick before the car was put into drive. He also ate a donut, his chocolate chip cookie, and half of his canoli.

Duo was licking the cream out of the flaky shell in the backseat when he had an . . . idea. He glanced at Heero sitting beside him, then swiped a bit of filling onto his finger. [5]

"Remind you of anything, Hee-chan?"

"Hentai."

Duo smiled. "Yup, but that's," he smeared the tasty filling onto his lips and pouted them at Heero, "why you love me, ne?"

Heero turned to Duo, a feral gleam in his eyes. "Hai."

He pounced.

"Trowa?" Quatre asked, raising his voice a little to be heard over the music on the radio.

"Yes, Quatre?"

"Is it windy out?"

"Not very. Why?"

"Why is the car shaking?"

Wufei rolled his eyes and leaned farther toward the front of the vehicle.

1. My city is ghetto. Dead, dirty, drug-infested ghetto.

2. Ha! Dead bodies and sewage are soooo majestic.

3. Front glass of the cases. Yup. Bakery terminology.

4. They look like teething rings and taste like pepper.

5. Made with ricotta cheese, confectioner sugar, chocolate chips, and *gag* citron. Maybe more. I wouldn't know; I don't bake.

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