"A Greater Bond"
by The Czarina Merquise

Time: During Episode 29-30, before the escape to the Cinq Kingdom
Place: on Earth, OZ encampment near a beach
Pairing: Heero/Quatre

The two Gundam pilots stared at one another, eyes locked.  Heero, believing fully that there was nothing in his life but fighting and surviving to fight again.  Quatre, believing in the possibility that there was life beyond the fighting... and maybe even love.  In this tent they were isolated from the Colonies, from those intent on executing them, from any potential allies.  Here in this moment were only Heero and Quatre.

Quatre moved first, edging closer.  "You know, Heero, we pilots have a greater bond than you imagine.  You... in this place... are family to me, are connected to me.  You're all I have right now."

Heero was still, gazing darkly at the other pilot.  "I have nothing and no one.  I do not even have myself, Quatre."

"You're wrong, Heero," Quatre said softly.  He neared and laid fingertips on Heero's chest.  "You have yourself always.  But you are not alone, not right now.  You have me."

The dark brown eyes widened.  It had been longer than Heero could imagine since anyone touched him in a way not meant to cause him harm.  Well, maybe Relena, but she was blinded by her fairyland fantasies.  He could never live in her world.  But Quatre... Quatre knew his world, lived it, survived it as he did.  As they must.  "Do I?" Heero murmured, still searching the clear blue eyes of the other pilot.  "And what does that mean, Quatre?  Sex?"

"Heero..." Quatre sighed patiently.  "Perhaps that as well, but there is so much more..."

"We don't have time for more," Heero interrupted bitterly.  "We never would, so why start?"  He backed away from the tender touch.  It was more than he was willing to allow himself.

"Time doesn't matter, Heero," the other pilot murmured, edging closer again.  "Shall we not steal a moment from destiny?  From death?"

Heero's eyes glittered, and he allowed the light touch to his chest again.  "Quatre... I should kill you now and get it over with.  For isn't that what we will end up doing anyway?"  But he did not move away.  Strangely he felt drawn to the little blond.  There was a purity and sweetness to him that totally belied the killing machine within a machine that they all represented.  Heero remembered Quatre playing with the dogs along the beach.  He envied his free, happy spirit, in that moment released from the death and destruction that was their life as Gundam pilots.  If only...

"You won't kill me," Quatre replied, and dared to wink at him.  Then he laid his hand flat upon Heero's chest and began a light caress.  "We have a little time.  Even if we never get a moment more together... it will be worth it.  Just to have this memory of a moment when we loved instead of fought."

The gentle tone of voice, the warm touch... the promise of a single moment... all served to effect the hardened Heero Yuy deeply.  "Quatre... I don't know.  We're inviting pain.  What if..."

"I know, Heero," Quatre whispered, and laid a finger on the other's lips.  "So let's isolate this moment.  We do not need to let it shape the rest of our lives if you do not want.  Just... let us have now."

"Quatre, I..."  The resolve within Heero was crumbling under the hopeful gaze of those beautiful blue eyes.  He realized in that moment that it didn't matter which Gundam pilot was offering him this surcease of destruction, although Quatre of any of them was the most likely to bring something like this up.  He, Heero Yuy, was indeed bonded to the other four in a way he could bond with no others.  Duo might not have brought it up, but would be enthusiastic nevertheless.  Wufei... no, he, like Heero, worked too hard to keep others at a distance.  Trowa... with a pang, Heero remembered that they still did not know Trowa's fate.  But there, too, was a hidden well of hopes and desires.  Then there was Zechs... yes, even he was part of them, caught between the original purpose of OZ to defend the colonies and the recent evil machinations of the Romafeller Foundation.  Heero remembered vividly the brief, intense battle he'd had with Zechs some time ago.  The OZ Colonel had been challenging him to engage his passion and not just blindly strike out.  Yes, Zechs, too, understood the need to keep fighting.

Heero sighed deeply, his eyes closing.  "Quatre... yes, let us have now..."  He gave no thought to the fact that neither he nor Quatre had any experience in this sort of thing.  It would not matter.  What he did let his mind settle on was the expectation that Quatre Raberba Winner was going to taste as sweet as he hoped...

"Heero..." Quatre whispered almost reverently just before their lips touched.   His arms slid around Heero's back, pulling him in closer; after a moment he felt the touch of the other's fingertips at his waist.  They kissed lightly at first, testing the sheer sensation of kissing, then Quatre made a whimpering sound in his throat as desire surged.  When he opened his mouth to Heero and let his tongue press against the other's lips, Heero froze, nearly pulling back, then was opening his mouth as well, allowing him to enter.

And oh, yes, Quatre indeed tasted sweet.

The deepened kiss served to enflame their growing desire and both pilots grew hard, their erections pressing against each other's hips.  Heero shifted, running his arms around Quatre's back finally, and the movement brought their erections into alignment.  Quatre moaned into Heero's mouth at the sensation.

At the sound, Heero pulled off abruptly, breathing hard.  He looked into Quatre's surprised gaze.  "We have to do this quietly," Heero muttered, steering the other pilot over to his camp bed.  He glanced furtively at the entrance to their tent, but there was no sound without, the Treize Faction camp silent except for the muted snores of the soldiers.  "Take off your clothes," he added softly.

"Heero..." Quatre murmured, then the two pilots silently undressed.  When finished, Heero pushed Quatre down onto his bed gently, bidding him lie down.  "Quatre..." he murmured back, climbing onto the bed and draping his body on top of him.

Sighing, Quatre pulled Heero down for another kiss.  He knew full well that this didn't mean a whole lot to the other Gundam pilot, but it didn't matter.  He had Heero for this short time.  It was something, which was better than never loving anyone in his short life at all.   Quatre did not know if he would ever get another opportunity to be this close to someone ever again.  And something in him wanted to give the too-serious, too-negative Heero Yuy a moment of the kindness he did not believe in.

Heero shifted to align their erections again.  As he did so, Quatre let loose a muffled whimper into his mouth, but Heero did not stop kissing him deeply, tasting avidly of the other's mouth.  He began to move against the blond pilot, starting a rhythm sliding his erection against Quatre's.

Quatre pulled off Heero's mouth with a gasp for air after a while.  "Heero!" he whispered hotly to the other, and began to move his hips as well, matching the other's rhythm.  He held onto him tightly, arching his neck as Heero kissed and licked along his throat.  The sensations began to build, driving them higher and higher until Heero latched onto his mouth again, plunging his tongue deep into his mouth.

It was all Quatre needed.  He bit back a cry as he came, one hand abruptly moving down to clutch Heero's ass, holding him taut against him as the orgasm crashed through him.  Heero, a moment later, moaned into Quatre's mouth as he, too, came hard, trembling against him.

They lay still, then, letting the sensations calm down.  Heero broke the kiss and scooted down to fit his face against Quatre's neck as if he wanted to hide his eyes from him.  He felt a bit of moisture at the corners of his eyes and swiped at them angrily.  Stupid tears.  Never, he should never have let Quatre, dear, sweet Quatre, kiss him, never held him, never made love to him.  Why did it have to be Quatre?  Somehow he thought none of the others would have caused him to feel such a loss so soon.

He felt lips touch the top of his head.  "Heero?" Quatre inquired gently.  He began to rub light circles on the other young man's back.  "You okay, Heero?"

"Yeah," Heero muttered, then levered himself up and off the other pilot.  He left the bed to go clean himself off using the pitcher of water and a towel that the soldiers had put in the tent for them.  In a moment, he heard the bed squeak as his companion got up as well.  Then Quatre was beside him to clean up also.

"I won't make any sort of demands on you for this," Quatre murmured quietly.  "I know you believe you're incapable of love.  I know you do not have real feelings for me.  It's... okay."

Heero remained silent.  He really did not hate the other pilot, nor did he feel all that callously about him like he did everyone else.  Quatre had just been trying to lift him beyond himself, beyond the fighting for a moment.  And Heero had to admit to himself that Quatre had felt good and tasted good.  Maybe...

Heero finished and turned away.  He got dressed and heard Quatre behind him doing the same.  The silence again buffered what either of them might be feeling.  It was safe, but Heero hadn't felt safe in his life and wasn't going to give into it now.  When he heard a bed squeak again, he turned back to the other pilot.   Quatre had sat down on his own bunk, looking very lost.

"Quatre," Heero sighed and sank down beside him.  After a moment, he slipped his fingers into the other's hand.  "You know," he murmured in his deep voice, "you're right.  We do have a greater bond with each other than is possible with anyone else.  It's not love, it's barely even friendship.  But it's a connection anyway, and very real.  And... I think I'm glad we have that."

Quatre tightened his hand around Heero's as he looked over at him.  To his relief, Heero looked back, unsmiling but not turning away either.  "You are?  You're not angry?"

"Of course I'm not angry," Heero sighed.  "And I think I've just realized something that more than just you have been telling me.  Even Zechs tried to tell me this... that my allies are my hopes, and I should not be trying to kill them.  That... I need to allow myself to trust a little more.  At least to trust my fellow Gundam pilots.  Or to just try."

"You know I believe as you do," Quatre murmured, looking down at their joined hands.  "We've been spared by the OZ forces and now must seek a new path together to continue to fight what the Romefeller Foundation is doing to Earth and to the Colonies.  They say the Cinq Kingdom is one such place where we might get help to do just that.  Heero... trust me?"

It was almost harder to trust Quatre than it would have been to kill him, Heero thought.  Then he thought of the bond of the Gundam pilots again.  "I want to.  If I can trust anyone, it would be another Gundam pilot.  And... you're wrong about me in one way, Quatre."

The wide blue eyes looked up and into his.  "How's that?"

"I have... feelings."  Heero felt relief that he'd admitted that, but more he was unable to say, articulate.

Quatre stared at him in disbelief, then smiled.  "So do I, Heero."

A day after they'd escaped, Heero and Quatre stood at the entrance of the plane Lieutenant Noin had flown to bring them here.  So much had happened in that day!  Heero had joined the Treize Faction in attempting to defend against the invading OZ Mobile Dolls.  Quatre, dear, faithful Quatre had found Heero before death could claim him and convinced him to come to the Cinq Kingdom.

Quatre turned and caught Heero's glance, then smiled briefly at him.  To his relief, Heero at least nodded at him.  The Gundam 01 pilot had reverted to his usual cold demeanor, his body poised for fight or flight.  They began to descend the steps down from the plane when they were greeted by a strident female voice.

"HEERO!"

As the pilots looked up, they saw a young woman with flowing light brown hair running toward them.  "Heero, you're HERE!" she exclaimed and stopped just short of the steps.  "I knew you would find me, Heero, I knew it!"

"Relena," Heero sighed, crossing his arms over his chest.  "I did not come to the Cinq Kingdom looking for you.  Quatre and I figured this might be a safer place than in the custody of OZ, which has orders to execute us."  He glanced over at his companion.  Why did Quatre have to look at him like his heart was in his eyes?  At least he wasn't batting eyelashes at him like Relena was.  "Relena Peacecraft, this is Quatre Raberba Winner, pilot of Gundam Sandrock..."

"Or was," Quatre said ruefully.  He did the polite thing and offered his hand when they'd descended the steps.  "Nice to meet you, Miss Peacecraft."

Relena looked at the new pilot with widened eyes as she shook his hand.  Another Gundam pilot! "Welcome, Quatre... Heero."  She looked sidelong at Heero, wondering at his silent iciness.  "The Cinq Kingdom is devoted to total pacifism.  You are safe here.  And we welcome your assistance against the Romefeller Foundation..."

"I don't know if we can give it," Heero interrupted.  "We're not exactly pacifists.  When we're ready, we will strike back hard at OZ and the Romefeller Foundation.  They're trying to kill us."

Quatre spoke up hastily.  "What Heero means is that we, ah, have our own agenda.  It's not... clear how we will achieve it, whether helping your cause will aid us in what we must do or not."

Heero did not respond to this, keeping his gaze cool upon the young leader and heir of the Cinq Kingdom.

Relena nodded, then turned earnestly back to Heero.  "I know you have come to help me, Heero.  I have known we would meet again, that you would come back to me."

Quatre felt suddenly uncomfortable.  What did Relena mean?  Beside him, Heero stiffened.  "You assume too much, Relena.  We have one dance together at that party and now you're getting all mystical on me?  You've got things wrong, dead wrong.  I still might have to kill you yet."

"But... Heero..."

Heero had had enough.  She could never understand him, never make sense of the driven madness that was his life.  Only Quatre... and the others... could ever know.  "There's nothing between us, Relena," he replied, forestalling her argument.  "There can never be."  Then, before he realized what he was saying, he plunged on.  "I have someone else in my life now, Relena Peacecraft, someone who is able to make sense of my life for me from time to time, someone who lives in the nightmare that I live in, the nightmare of war and constant battle to remain alive."

He took a deep breath, ignoring for the moment her shock and Quatre's stunned expression.  "You see, Relena, only another Gundam pilot knows... and that is why I have taken Quatre as my lover."  He turned then to the young blond pilot at his side, the other's eyes wide as saucers.  "Quatre and I are together... because we are Gundam pilots... and he knows."

"Heero..." Quatre whispered so low he could hardly be heard.

"Oh," Relena murmured, her heart sinking.  But she could see the pain in both of their gazes, and realized to her dismay that she really didn't have any idea what their lives had been like.  At least Heero had someone, she thought.

She was heir to the Cinq Kingdom.  Her nation had much to do to help hold back the Romefeller Foundation.  She could not afford to remain miserable and rejected by the Gundam pilot Heero, no matter how much she thought they ought to be together or how much she loved him.

At least he had Quatre.

Heero wasn't sure Relena would give up on him that easily, so he decided to back up his words with action.  "Quatre," he said quietly, then slipped one hand around his companion's waist, the other reaching for the back of his neck.  The other pilot came into his arms willingly, looking at him with a mixture of wonder and hope.  Heero closed his eyes against the sweet, bright promise of those eyes and kissed Quatre deeply.

Here.  In front of Relena.  Heero felt a curious sense of relief and awe that he should be here at all, holding this man, kissing him as if he meant it.

And maybe he did.

Quatre melted against him, feeling a little surge of happiness, though a moment later, he forcibly tempered it with a reminder of just whom it was he was kissing.  Heero.  Cold, murderous Heero Yuy.  He, too, remembered the fevered battle with Heero when Quatre was feeling self-destructive while piloting the Wing Zero.  It was amazing either of them survived that.

"Ahem," Relena cleared her throat a minute later.  "Ah, boys... I appreciate that you want to make it clear what's what with you, but could we talk about the Romefeller Foundation now?"

Heero reluctantly brought the kiss to a close.  Ignoring Relena still, he separated just enough from Quatre to look into his eyes.  To his surprise, he felt a smile steal over his own face.  "Yeah," he murmured.  "Yeah, we can do that."

The smile hit Quatre hard.  Heero couldn't possibly... he didn't really...  Quatre had already figured out that the kiss and the declaration was just to get the persistent Relena off his back, but... what was that smile for?  Did Heero...  Quatre gulped and took a deep breath.  All right, he might actually have something going with Heero now after all, but even so, he could not afford to let himself forget that this was *Heero*.

Well, not all the time, anyway.

The End

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