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Author's Note: Everyone has internal debates from time to time, and everyone knows that Heero Yuy is much more psycho than most people. (Ducks the raving Heero fans) ^_^; This is just my thoughts on what might have been going through his brain the first time Duo seduced him. ^_~ This fic was partly inspired by Brain Elves, an excellent Rurouni Kenshin fic by someone whose name escapes me at the moment. <sheepish grin>

Internal Debate

The front door of the small, dingy motel room practically exploded inwards as the two Gundam pilots staggered into the room. "Man, oh man, oh man! Heero, that was absolutely crazy!" Duo exclaimed, plopping himself down onto the double bed. "I thought those OZ guys were NEVER gonna give up!"

"Hn." Was Heero's only comment. He eyed the single bed in the room with some distaste. "You sure this is all they had?"

Duo yawned, sprawling backwards onto the bed. "Hey, man, not only was this all they had, I had to pay more than double what it would normally cost!" He grinned provacatively at his partner, and patted the bed beside him. "Whatsa matter, Heero, don't wanna share a bed with me?" He batted his eyelashes.

"Baka." Heero replied.

/No, I don't want to./

(Yes, I do!)

/Huh? Where the hell did you come from? Go away./

Duo stretched, his jacket riding up his torso to expose his abdomen, and Heero had to tear his eyes away with an effort of will.

(Sigh. Wow. God, he's so incredibly good looking. I'd give anything to be able to touch...)

/He's a weakness. Emotions are a weakness. Desire is a weakness./

(But it would feel so good...)

/Shut up. When did you come back anyway? I thought I got rid of you years ago./

(Duo called me. I want him. I NEED him.)

:violent denial: /I don't need anybody!/

Heero gabbed the top blanket, wrapped it around himself and laid down on the bed, facing away from Duo. He studiously ignored the sound of Duo shedding his clothes in preparation for sleep, and concentrated on his own rest.

"Saaa, Heero man! Doncha know its not good for ya to sleep in yer clothes?"

Heero warily opened his eyes to find Duo standing in front of him, hands on his hips, wearing only a thigh length T-shirt which had been pulled up until it barely covered the neccessities, because of his pose. Heero's face was right at crotch level, less than a foot away from the braided boy, and he had a glimpse of silky black briefs...

He squeezed his eyes shut and tried to keep his breathing normal.

(Oh. My. GOD.)

/Shut UP! This is just hormones. I have better control over my body than this, dammit!/

(He's doing it on purpose. I swear to god he's teasing me!)

"If we have to run for it, we'll need to move fast."

Duo blew out his breath in exasperation. "We lost them hours ago! They'll never find us here! Man, Heero, I swear, sometimes..." He wandered off to the bathroom, and Heero couldn't keep himself from following the swaying motion of that delicious ass with his eyes.

(Does he KNOW what he does to me? How can he not?)

:dripping disdain: /He IS Catholic, remember? He would probably think you were disgusting if he knew. All this lusting over him is a waste of time and energy. Now go away!/

(Sigh. A guy can dream.)

/Not me./

While Heero fought to ignore the sounds Duo was making in the bathroom, he became increasingly aware how restricted he felt in his clothing.

(He's right, you know. You should take them off.)

/I've slept in my clothes before. It won't hurt me./

(Just because you've done it before doesn't mean you should always do it. I want to be able to stretch out for a change - feel something against my skin other than spandex and cotton...)

/No! You're just trying to find a reason because you're hoping you'll rub up against Duo in the night./

:wistful: (Well.... yeah.... )

/Absolutely not!/

Heero thought that ended the internal argument, so he was surprised to find himself unwinding from the blanket long enough to shed his tank top and spandex shorts. As he curled back up again, he found that it did indeed feel good to have something other than his clothing against his skin for a change.

(See? This isn't so bad, is it?)

:grudging: /Just make sure the blanket stays between us and him./

:placating: (Of course, of course.)

Heero's thoughts fell silent, and he sighed in relief. Absently, he wondered if other people had this much trouble with themselves. Not that he usually did - the Perfect Soldier had been in control for so long, he'd almost forgotten about these arguments he used to have with himself. But Duo seemed to bring another side out of him, a side he thought he'd lost long ago in training. A side he neither wanted nor needed.

Duo returned from the bathroom and crawled into his own side of the small bed. He slid under the remaining blanket with a sigh, and a muttered, "Oyasumi nasai, Heero!" Heero declined to reply.

Just as he was beginning to fall asleep, he felt ghostly fingers touching the back of his neck.

(He's touching me!!!)

/Omae o korosu!/

:hastily: (No, no, no...)

"Duo, what are you doing?" Heero gritted out between his teeth.

"You're way too tense, man. You oughta relax once in a while, you know that?" The ghostly fingers rubbed harder, soothing the knots in his neck.

:moan:(Ohhhhh.... that feels REALLY good...)

"Omae o korosu!" Heero growled, jerking away from his partner's touch. Duo just chuckled at the familiar threat, but made no move to touch him again. Finally, Heero began to relax, and started falling asleep again. Minutes passed, then something furry wormed its way through his blanket to press against his shoulder blades.

/NOW what?/

:uncertain: (Uh... I think that's his head. What's he doing?)

"Duo..." he said threateningly, and Duo popped his head over Heero's shoulder to grin at him.

"Just wondering, Heero."

"Wondering WHAT?"

"What kinda briefs you wore.. never figured YOU for the black silk type.. WAUK!! Heero! Ack! Man, don't kill me!"

When Heero was satisfied that Duo had been adequately beaten into submission, he settled down again.

:thoughtfully:(Black silk, huh? I didn't figure you for the type, either. Maybe you're not a total lost cause after all.)

:stiffly: /They're the only thing that doesn't show./

:snicker: (This from the guy who regularly makes a gun disappear in there. How do you do that, anyway?)

/Why the hell am I still putting up with you? Shove off!/

Just when Heero thought he was finally going to get to sleep, he felt those ghostly fingers again, at his back and shoulder once more. "AARGH!" He shouted, turning to face the braided pilot. "Duo, what are you DOING?"

Duo looked startled. "I thought you were asleep!" He blurted, then blushed furiously as he realized what he'd implied.

:wonder: (He wanted to touch me while I slept... masaka... could he... )

:vehement: /NO! Don't go there! He doesn't want me! No one in their right mind would ever want me! I won't make a fool of myself by letting you act on this! GO AWAY!/

(No!)

:startlement: /huh!?!/

(Duo's the one who called me, not you. I don't have to go away!)

/Omae o... ah, fuck it. I'm gonna deal with this at the source, and finish it once and for all./

"Are you teasing me on purpose?" Heero demanded of Duo, mouth pulled into a severe frown.

Duo grinned slowly at his expression. "Of course. Why? Don't tell me I'm getting to you? You, the Iceburg Perfect Soldier? Mr. Who-needs-a-parachute, I'll-set-my-own-leg Yuy?"

:joy: (He IS doing it on purpose!)

/No! Don't you get it? He's MOCKING me!/

:hesitant: (No... it isn't like that...)

:forcefully: /Yes, it IS like that. He's just playing a game with me. Damn him! I'll... I'll.../

"You need to learn there are consequences to doing that kind of thing..." Heero growled, then leapt forward to capture Duo's lips with his own.

The kiss started out harsh, brutal even, but Duo responded enthusiastically, bringing his hands up to bury them in Heero's hair, kissing back with all the passion he had in him. It took less than ten seconds for the kiss to soften, gentle, the Perfect Soldier losing his hold and sliding out of control.

:Fury: /No! Dammit, no! It's not supposed to be like this. I'm not supposed to feel anything!!!/

:gentle: (Doctor J. trained you well, but he couldn't get rid of me completely. Go to sleep - it's my turn to handle things. Trust me, you'll thank me in the morning.)

:resignation:

As the kiss gentled, it also deepened, until they were waging a silent battle with their tongues. When they finally broke apart, both boys were gasping for air, panting and trembling.

"Wow..." Duo finally managed, looking at Heero in wonder. "That was a hell of a kiss!"

Heero looked back at him, his normally harsh features softened, his blue eyes no longer flat and blank, but containing a wealth of emotion. Duo gaped for a moment, unable to believe the change in the boy above him. "He.. Heero?"

Heero leaned forward again, brushing a butterfly soft kiss over the other boy's lips. "Duo... ai shiteru," he whispered, then buried his face in his partner's shoulder, trembling, terrified of the reaction he was certain he would get.

Duo was struck speechless for the second time in thirty seconds. Finally, he managed to get his vocal chords working again. "Heero... Heero, look at me. Say that again. Please!"

Heero hesitantly raised his head, and saw the uncertainty shadowing joy in Duo's eyes. Firmly, he forced himself to say it again. "Ai shiteru. I don't know why, and I don't know how - brought you brought out a side of me I thought was long dead."

Duo began to tremble as well, and his eyes filled with tears. "He-Heero..." he choked.

Heero's eyes widened in horror. "No.. Duo, don't cry. Please. I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I didn't mean to make you cry..."

Duo cut him off with a fierce kiss. "Do you have any idea how longed I've dreamed of hearing you say that?" He whispered huskily. "I did everything I could think of, and then some, to get you to want me, but I was about to give up. I thought it wasn't working. I thought you'd hate me if I told you. Oh, Heero!" He kissed him again, twining his arms and legs around him as if afraid Heero would change his mind and try to escape.

Heero caressed him gently, love shining in his cobalt blue eyes. "Duo. I... I probably still won't treat you as well as you deserve. I've been the way I am for too many years to change all at once. But, I'll try. For you. If you'll put up with me."

Duo laughed shakily, wiping his eyes. "Baka! I've been putting up with you this long, you can't scare me away now! I love you, you idiot! Now that you've told me you love me too, it's gonna take a crow-bar to pry me offa you!"

Heero, kissed him, long and deep, and things quickly got serious from there.

His last coherent thought before giving into desire was, (He's the other half of my soul. And not even you, Perfect Soldier, or Doctor J, can keep me from him.)

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