And He Doth Descended Into the Depths of
Heaven
-Part Five-
Kuriyamimizu
Same copyrights as always.
Kuri holds up a sign: Gundam boy torture ahead. More weird shit. MUCH MORE SHONEN AI!!!! *WHEE HA!*
I let out a small sigh of satisfaction as the thermal scythe belonging to my Gundam finally ignited again. Id been slightly worried for a while because something had broken and it wouldnt start. However, with a little coaching form Howard, who happens to be in Hawaii right now, and a little elbow grease, I got it to work. Alex is hovering in the background. Ive gotten used to her by now. She isnt very intrusive. One might think that if you has a four-year-old demon constantly hanging around oneself, one would always be aware of it. Actually, its quite the opposite, most of the time I find myself forgetting that shes even there.
The beeping of my watch tells me that its time for lunch and almost time for my meeting with Sally Poe. Im going to see her to get my neck checked out. Im still getting those really annoying migraines and Im beginning to have trouble concentrating on small things.
In retrospect, the past few weeks have gone rather smoothly. Alex became my constant angel and Heero went off on a reconnaissance mission. I think it probably either was that option, or watch him slowly jump out of his skin. He really needed to get out of here. He still hasnt returned yet.
Wufei disappeared too, although I dont think he had a mission. I think he just needed to get out of the house. Hed been spending a whole lot of time in his room up to the time he left. Hell, if I lived in the room he has Id be suffering from claustrophobia by now. He left a note saying that he could be reached through the long-range communicator and left. Thats not a problem.
My other two remaining comrades have been spending a lot of time together, working on those scrolls that Quatre found in his fathers hope chest. He told me about them about a week back. It was some really interesting material, however, about halfway through his explanation I got another one of my lovely migraines and had to go and lie down. I really despise my head. I think theyre spending a little more time studying each other than the old parchments. Personally I think its good for them.
As for me, well, Ive taken up sleeping through the afternoon. Im both an insomniac and an early bird. Its actually really funny. Because I had finished the work on my scythe, theres nothing left to me now but to sleep.
Although, I really dont want to. Its almost a childish sort of fear that holds me back. Because, Im afraid of the dreams Im going to have. Theyre not your average, slightly scary dream material. Far from it, these dreams are bad enough to send some people straight to the nice place with the white padded rooms. These, visions Im seeing depict death, destruction, carnage and things that wear on the soul. Theyre showing me how loving Heero could hurt everyone, and so many other things. Im afraid of my dreams.
However, even now my eyelids are growing heavy and my vision is starting to dim. Ive always said that the hangar was too hot---
The dream starts innocently enough. It goes back and touches fond memories, of times back in the Maxwell church, with me sitting there, full of youth, vibrancy and innocence; kneeling at one of the slightly ramshackle pews and saying my prayers.
In the name of the father
the son,
and the holy toast.
At that point father Maxwell came in and laid a weathered hand on my head, tousling my already unmanageable hair. Hed kneeled down next to me and said.
No Duo, not in the name of the holy toast, but rather, the holy ghost.
In a tremulous voice I answered. Forgive me, but, g-ghosts are scary.
That had earned my hair another tousling. Father Maxwell, smiling with much amusement told me that,
This ghost is friendly. Its the father himself, hes watching you.
It was a hard concept to grasp, it took a lot of thinking on my part to come to understand that small fact.
So, you mean, hes not white and clanks chains and things?
No.
We finished off our prayers together that evening and then he had risen again, albeit a little bit unsteady. I knew what was wrong with him. There wasnt enough food to go around in those times. So he went without sometimes for us. Deep in my heart I was very grateful to him, because some days it seemed as if I would keel over and die if I didnt eat something. Since he wasnt eating, it meant that several of us little ones were.
Once he had walked out of the room I turned once again to the front and bowed my head, trying to covey in all of my sincerity, one simple thing.
Thank you.
The scene faded and was replaced by a very different one. One of fire and destruction. The beautiful stained glass windows that only a moment had been above me radiating warm light; were in shattered fragments at my feet. There was only the sound of burning timber to greet my ears. Everyone else was all ready dead. At the main alter, still on his knees was father Maxwell, in a supplicative position. It looked as if he had died in prayer, and he was virtually untouched. The blood that had stained his attire had long since faded into the black of his clothes. He looked pretty whole, except for the fact that he was missing his head.
I screamed. I screamed so loud that I think God heard me. I screamed until my throat was raw and I could barely draw another breath to scream again. I didnt want to see that. Never again. It was horrible and awful and wrong.
The pool of blood I was standing in rippled and I watched with morbid interest as droplets flew into the air and swirled around me, making it seem as if I were being slowly engulfed by crimson, translucent orbs. They floated around my and swirled, casting red light on my face from where it filtered through them.
I was waiting for something to happen, for someone to appear and die. However the spheres continued to swirl and that was it. Then someone appeared. I couldnt see them yet, just a shadow. I almost expected to see Alex or Quatre coming to wake me from this nightmare. However, as the figure drew closer I found myself recoiling. I was looking into my own face.
The boy in front of me was my double in every aspect, save that he had a set of black batwings arching gracefully from his back and ending at his ankles. In one hand the other me held a scythe loosely, as if familiar with its presence. He looked at me with eyes mirroring me and smiled. He held out a hand beckoning me to take it. To join him. In all honesty I was thinking about it. Maybe that action would let me wake up. Something stopped me though, I guess it was my instinct of self-preservation.
What do you want?
I was staring myself down, it was the weirdest thing. He spoke, still holding out his hand as if in urgency.
Just come with me!
Why is it so important?
Id never used that tone before to my knowledge. It was almost as if he were pleading with me.
Dont ask! Just take my hand!
I really wanted to. It didnt seem as if the world would collapse if I did take his hand. Maybe I was just being overly paranoid in refusing. I started to reach out, and my fingertips were bare inches from his---when I was rudely awakened.
Quatre watched Duos eyes flutter open and a vast,
overwhelming relief flooded through him. The boy had been about
to do something above and beyond stupid. He smiled warmly at the
new arrival to the conscious world.
The first thing I saw when my vision cleared was Quatre. That was something different to wake up to. The next thing I realized was that my face was all wet. That made no sense whatsoever. When I caught an eyeful of the empty glass sitting on the table suddenly all was clear. The little bastard had poured a glass of water on my head!
I didnt know that I needed a shower that bad Quatre! You know you could just hint, you dont have to douse me!
Quatre laughed. It sounded genuine enough, however he was hiding something. Im learning how to read my fellow pilots. Their masks have faults in them and I can read between the lines. Quatres concerned, the little quirk of his lips that hints at a frown is all I need to know. I wonder why he woke me?
Your alarm went off five minutes ago but you slept through it. I swear Duo, you sleep like the dead.
He has a point there. A quick glance at my watch confirms that yes, I am indeed late. My back protests as I quickly rise, stretch, shake my head like a dog, sending droplets of water flying everywhere, and then run down the hall, shouting my thanks to Quatre as I go.
My motorcycles down the hall in the garage.
Its my other baby beside Deathscythe. A classic Harley
Davidson. God, Im in love with my bike! Pulling on the
helmet is no problem, and I can detect none of the warning signs
that I will get a migraine anytime soon. Assuming that one
doesnt hit me on the freeway, then I might even be able to
make it to Sallys on time.
Quatre watched Duo go silently, his expression cold and unreadable. Trowa was beginning to be able to recognize that look as the one that passed onto his friends face when he was in deep thought. He came and stood next to the shorter pilot and wrapped his arms about Quatres waist. There was a silent agreement between them that due to mutual interest they should pursue their relationship further. Yet both were slightly hesitant and didnt know quite where to take it, so they simply went by what felt right. As to intimacy, the closest they had gotten was that one chaste kiss the night that Quatre had first started to translate the scrolls.
Quatre looked up at Trowa and smiled. Trowa returned the gesture with the little quirk of his mouth that passed for his smile. Quatre leaned back against him in contemplation.
Something happened there.
hmm?
When Duo was dreaming. Something bad almost happened. I wasnt monitoring him.
Silence fell for a short while as Quatre further contemplated their situation and Trowa watched him. The taller teen ventured to speak after a moment, thinking aloud.
Its not really your responsibility to watch over him all hours of the day Quatre. From what youve told me, this all is preordained, and unless we remove either of the two main factors, somethings going to happen.
Quatre nodded again, looking solemn. I know it, and I dont want that to happen. I care for you all, youre as close to me as brothers.
He rolled his eyes as he heard Trowa snort in the background. I know I never had brothers but still! The principle remains sound. What Im getting at is simply that I dont want to hurt any of you unless its really necessary.
Trowa noted the softening of Quatres eyes as he spoke, trying to convey all of his sincerity. He tightened his hold about the small Arabian and smiled.
I understand.
Quatre smiled and then turned back to the wall that he had been contemplating, trying to deign answers from.
Now the question is, how do I keep tabs on Duo?
Why Duo?
Quatre laughed slightly. Because, its easier to stay attuned with his mind. His thought patterns are much more normal when compared to Heeros. When Im with Heero it feels as if theres a cold dampening my mind.
Trowa nodded, not having any experience in that respect
to base an answer on.
Wufei walked down one of the steeper trails off the Tibetan mountains and tried to gather his thoughts again. Two weeks since he had left and he still couldnt seem to get his thought arranged. He trekked onward and ever upward now, trying to find answers for his confused mind. Shen Lon, no Nataku, as it was affectionately called was waiting patiently for him in the jungle below. He had been climbing for the past two days. The backpack he was carrying was almost too much for his rather lithe frame to support, but he didnt care. It didnt matter.
Sheer exhaustion finally drove him to stop and rest, leaning back against one of the cool stones of a set of boulders, jutting out of the ground. He was completely alone up here. He could get out by calling Nataku, but he wasnt planning on leaving for a while, not until he found some answers, about himself, and about the others. He was distinctly aware of the fact that his breath rasped and grated against his throat painfully and almost every muscle in his body ached. It felt horrible and wonderful in the same time. He had never realized how fulfilling exercise could be.
After a period of time he found that his breathing had returned to its normal rhythms and the general serenity of the place calmed his heart. It was cold up there, and just about to turn into winter, it was perfect.
/Get your ass up and go and face your problems!/
The instant that the unfamiliar presence was in his head Wufei was on his feet, gun drawn. He was used to Quatres warm and slightly inquisitive presence, but anyone else would be considered an uninvited guest.
Whos there and what are your intentions?
/My name will mean nothing to you boy! As for my intentions, I can say that they do not go against you/
Forgive me if I sound rude, but I dont trust random voices in my head.
/Well, high, almighty asshole, you cant see whats smack in front of you, so its not my fault that I earn your distrust./
You are certainly vulgar arent you?
/Youll have to forgive, I completely lost my manners after hiking up a bloody Tibetan mountain with you for no other apparent reason than because youre a little lost, dazed and confused./
Id really like to have your name, so I can address you in some other manner than, hey, you, the voice in my head!
/Bokuwa Sakura./
You say youre right in front of my face, and you also mentioned that youd followed my up the mountain. If its that much of an imposition then why did you bother?
There was a pause, and he could almost swear he heard his guest sigh, a weighted, long sigh at that. The wind around him stirred and blew, chilling him. The upper altitudes were not a place for tank-tops. In the lapse of conversation he opened up his pack and pulled on a sweatshirt. When he had it arranged in the manner that he wanted, she started to speak again. He could tell the voice was female because of the quality and timbre.
/I have to follow you./
It sounds as if youve been doing it for a while if youre this fed up.
/Ive been following you since you were born Cheng Wufei./
Wufei blinked. He hadnt given the voice his name. His confusion must have been very apparent to his guest because she laughed, her incorporeal voice blending with the singing of the wind all around him.
/Does it surprise you that I know something so simple as your name? Does it surprise you to know that I know exactly where Nataku is resting right now; cloaked in the shadows of the forest that thrives at the bottom of this mountain?/
He took an involuntary step back, surprised. He was sure that no one had seen him land---when that thought occurred his brain found its way back into logic. If she had been hanging around him for as long as she said she had, then yes, she would know about those things. Recently he had lost a whole lot of his skepticism about things that he couldnt see.
So what are you?
/Cant you figure that out on your own chibi ryu?/
Little dragon? Hmph, Im not that small thank you.
Another moment of silence fell, the wind the only sound filling it. Sakura apparently became annoyed again and answered his earlier question.
/Im your guardian angel baka./
I didnt believe I had one.
/HA! How else do you think youve survived jumping off of moving motorcycles, all of the MS battles that youve been through and even climbing this mountain. It wasnt luck, I assure you of that.
Wufei gave a sidelong glance to where he presumed Sakura to be and raised an eyebrow.
Somehow I find it so hard to believe that I have a positive force watching over me. Id always thought that my purpose was to serve justice.
/That you do ryu, that you do. And shes grateful for one such as yourself./
Why do you call me ryu?
/Thats my pet name for you. Its better than what Fusei calls Heero./
Wufeis eyebrows moved further up his forehead. You know Heeros guardian angel?
There was another moment of silence and Wufei could imagine the look of guilty shock that ran across her features as she realized that she had spilled a bit of information that was not meant to be spilt.
/Ah hell, Ive already told you too much anyway, why not plunge all the way ne? Yes, we all know each other, except for Duos guardian./
Why dont you know his guardian?
/Shes a hell spawn. I havent had the pleasure of making her acquaintance yet. The last time you were in the same general area as Maxwell was when you were dancing, and I couldnt speak with her then because she wasnt present. You know, I cant just flit off and go talk with my friends, it doesnt work that way. Im forced to stay with you wherever you go./
How close?
She laughed again. /Dont worry Ryu, I dont watch you too closely. You do have a little privacy./
There was a pause and then the sound of her amused voice came again. /Though, I do know things about you that no one else does./
Silence was fast becoming the normal sound between the two of them. In that time Wufei had re-shouldered his pack and was digging around in his pockets for something. Sakura found herself curious as to whether or not she had gone over well or if Wufei thought that he had gone insane.
/So, do you accept me?/
Wufei turned and found himself staring into the slightly doubtful face of a beautiful woman. Her gentle features were placed into a face that was as exquisite as the sunrise. Her eyes were the color of ripe cherries and her lips held the same shade. Her skin was a beautiful shade of golden brown, making her seem slightly oriental Her hair was a long cascade of onyx silk that tumbled down her shoulders between wings that were placed at rest with grace. The whole effect was breathtaking. He was unaware that his shock showed on his features.
She could see it though, and if he were looking like that it could only mean one thing. He could see her, and also the time was coming closer. From what information she had gotten from Fusei the likelihood of such an eventuality had seemed to be not much, however, the fact that he could see her threw all of her doubts to the wind. She threw her eyes upward in a silent askance for the avoidance of the worst. She then looked back at the face of her shocked protectorate and smiled.
/Hello boy, my name is Sakura. And I am holier than thou!/
Heero gripped the controls of zero tightly and looked
around in a frantic fashion. The whites of his eyes were showing
and his breath came in ragged uneven intervals. In the background
the smoldering wreckage of 01 burned. OZ had gotten to his old
friend. They had destroyed it before they died. And rest assured
that they had all died.
I stare out onto the battlefield. All that presents itself to my eyes are corpses, blood, and fire. Part of my mind cannot accept the fact that 01 has been destroyed. Part of me thinks that it isnt possible. Im just waiting for the next enemy to show their faces, to present themselves to be served a quick death. I was never one for torture, it wasnt in my training, I just have to get he job done. Duo is the one to contact when its time for torture.
My sensors are showing nil. Theres nothing around. I cant kill anything more, simply because Ive killed everything. Dimly awareness of the fact that Im hyperventilating pricks at the back of my mind. I shove the thought aside for later review. I have to make sure that theyre all dead. Another sweep confirms what I had already figured. All targets were eliminated.
Once that thought hit my mind lost its fragile grip on the façade of the machine. Recently Ive found that after all is said and done in missions Im beginning to loose my control toward the end of missions. I find myself out of breath and shaking, the most obscure feelings flowing through my mind. And then theres the nightmares, which had never occurred before. I cant tell whats happening anymore.
The orders from a few weeks ago flash through my whirling mind and I reach out to the panel under which my self-destruct button is hidden. My hand is shaking so badly that I cant open it. Im still hyperventilating, I cant catch an even breath, whats wrong with me?
Fusei had taken all that she wanted to. She was only
allowed to help Heero when he hit a certain point. Recently she
had been getting in trouble when the almighty had deemed it
unnecessary. All pleasantries aside, this in her mind
qualified as necessary. Heero looked as if he might have a mental
breakdown in the cockpit if she didnt do something. Usually
he was able to take prolonged bouts of fighting in stride.
However, his mental state had suffered much as of late.
She brought her hand down and stroked it through his sweat-tangled hair, humming. That was always how she started to go about calming him. It stemmed back to when she had been with him at a younger age.
A smile came to her tired face as she saw the youth begin to relax. His death-grip on the controls of zero loosened and he fell back against the leather seat. It worried her the way it took him as much effort as it did simply to breath. The same action was causing his lithe frame to jerk with each repetition.
/Easy Heero-kun./
When he jerked and brought his slightly glazed eyes to
stare directly at her she gasped with surprise. He could see her
again and this time she wasnt trying to let him.
Shes there again. I can hear her. I know that shes there. Shes always there when I need help. The melody of her humming is flowing through the back of my mind like a slowly meandering stream. Suddenly things are becoming a little more clear.
/Easy Heero-kun./
Someone spoke, and someones hand is in my hair. I wheel and turn to face the very same person that I had just been thinking about. Only she doesnt look as nice as she did back at the restaurant. She looks tired. Her feathers have lost some of their gloss and shine. Im worried about my angel.
Are you all right?
She looks so surprised that I can see her. Still, I suppose my question caught her off-guard, because it takes her a moment to answer. When she does it is behind a fake smile.
/Im just fine./
I frown, theres nothing that I hate more than people who lie directly to my face. She sees my displeasure and frowns herself. With a sigh and a resettling of herself which causes a couple of feathers to fall from her wings, she answers again.
/Im not fine Heero. Im tired, and Im hurting, and Im getting confused./
Im a little curious as to what would put an angel through all of that.
Whats happening to cause all of that?
/Nothing you can prevent Heero, although, thank you for the concern. Actually that was simply you being curious as to what would cause an ethereal being to be in such a haggard state, so I suppose I shouldnt thank you, but still./
She leans forward and gives me a hug. Its kind of like being hugged by air. A curious feeling. Her voice is right in my ear, whispering, sounding like faintly ringing bells. /Breathe/
Directly following that action I find it a lot easier to draw a breath without twitching, although that still happens to an extent. Even as it grows easier for me, it appears to grow harder for her. Id never thought that I would see an angel turn ashen. Silence stretches through the cabin like a taught wire ready to snap. I move almost in the same instant as zero beeps, alerting me to the presence of the auxiliary squad coming my way.
I look their way and smile, speaking solely to myself, for the intercom is not on.
Come join me, in my journey into hell!
/Oh Heero/
After that little comment I stop paying attention to her. I dont need comfort. I need blood, I need to stay focused and to win against the odds that have presented themselves to me. Nothing gets to me as I replace my hands on the controls and move zero forward, through the rain of laser fire.
Alex fluttered rather uncertainly next to Duo, although far
enough away that he wasnt immediately aware of her
presence. He was engrossed in a magazine and doing his pointed
best to ignore Sally, who was just about to stick a rather long
and sharp looking needle into his neck. His eyes flicked up once
to see what she was going to do and then back once again to the
magazine. She noticed that he had grown about three shades paler
than he had previously been.
She knew what she had to do. She flitted over and sat down in his lap, the magazine going through her, creating a curious experience on her part. Duo raised an eyebrow at her, silently asking what she wanted.
/Itll be okay, it wont hurt./
He gave her a look that very clearly conveyed the fact
that he didnt believe her. She smiled at him, something
only youth could produce and patted his shoulder.
I cannot believe that I am actually going to let Sally stick a needle of that size into me. And my neck, of all places! She said she needed a tissue sample, but I wish that she would go about getting some other way than that. Ive always hated needles, because invariably they always hold something bad, be it messed up narcotic to truth serum. I never liked either, and the latter particularly.
Alex flapped into my lap and sat there, and its
very odd to be able to read my magazine. She has varying degrees
of transparency that she can go through and when she goes
to the point where shes barely visible it gets odd. Not
that the fact that Im that familiar with a demon and her
habits isnt, but still.
After Sally gets done sticking me with the needle from hell shes going to give me a complete physical. Somehow I seem on the verge of having a shyness attack there, partially because shes a woman, and also because I might get some interesting questions on some various scars that Ive accumulated over the years.
Now this will sting a little bit
Yeesh! Shes not kidding, that stings. I really want to move, however, Sallys warning hand on my shoulder tells me to stay still. It seems like shes going to keep the bloody thing in there forever! Once she removes it I feel a flooding sense of joy. Alex giggles. I guess the squirt found something funny in my expression. I didnt think it was funny at all. I stick my tongue out at her when Sallys back is turned. That elicits another set of giggles.
Whoops! Sally was talking to me while I was paying attention to Alex.
Huh? Sorry, I wasnt paying attention.
She turns and smiles. I guess the wall must be deathly interesting then. Now, would you care to repeat those symptoms for me please. And dont sweat the little stuff, it could be important.
I take a deep breath and try and recall all that has been going awry with myself. Things are rather indistinct in my memory and I cant seem to pin anything that specific down. Sally apparently could tell that I have no idea how to tell her what she needs to know, so it looks like a round of twenty questions.
How long has this been occurring.
That question in particular takes a bit of thinking. It actually all started around the time that Zero was built and Quatre was a little off his rocker. Wufei and I had been stuck in the cell in the lunar base, reviewing the specs for our soon to be updated Gundams and I had gotten one of my first migraines.
It was about six months back actually.
What happens when this is affecting you?
Umm, one thing I can definitely tell you, migraines! Dear God the migraines.
She raised her eyebrows at that one. Im not going to try to ponder the possible messages behind that simple gesture.
Ive been getting dizzy, from time to time loosing my balance.
On that fact Id managed to trip my way into the elevator and then fall against one of the walls, jarring my shoulder which now ached. My equilibrium had been way off lately.
And Im having trouble concentrating on things. Usually its stuff that is really complicated. But, recently Ive been loosing track of what Ive been doing.
Ive never seen anyone look so subtly worried and hide it so well as Sally did in that moment. The things that I said must have painted her a grim picture indeed. I think at that moment its time for a jaunty smile and a joke.
So doc, what s the prognosis? Take two Aspirin and call you in the morning or, and I going to keep over dead tomorrow?
Sally shook her head, a smile refusing to find its way onto her lips.
Neither. Im going to work with what youve given me and then I need a number where I can safely call you. The physical can wait for another time.
Thats easy, although I still dont like the serious tone of voice that shes suddenly taken. Its as if theres something really wrong with me and its not just stress like I thought. I write out the number on a stray piece of paper dredged out of my pants and smile at her again, asking her to lie to me and smile for now, even if there is something wrong. She obliges me, finding sudden cheer from blackness.
Dont look so glum Duo, it doesnt become you. Youll be fine, Im sure youre just stressed. Now go home and get some sleep okay? Take one of these and Ill call you in the morning.
I take the little orange bottle and nod, slipping it into my pocket. Theres another adventure getting into the elevator to get down to the ground floor but I make it in one piece. Collecting my helmet proves to be no chore and I walk the rest of the way out.
Never before have I ever doubted my ability to drive. Yet, this evening I feel shaky and Im not really sure if I can drive safely. Alex appears out of no where, suddenly making herself available in response to some silent plea Ive given. I look at her and suddenly something occurs to me.
Hey squirt?
/hmm?/
Can you keep me steady while I drive?
/I always do Duo-san. Its my job./
Arigato chibi.
Quatre smiled when he looked up from his cup of tea to watch Duo come in. Thankfully the boy looked as if he were still in one piece. Duo flashed him a tired grin and dumped his helmet off to one side of the table as he collected a cup and poured himself some tea. Quatre watched with mild disinterest as he added several spoonfuls of sugar and a little milk to his tea. He couldnt resist.
Would you like a little tea with your milk and sugar?
Duo rolled his eyes, smiled and stuck his tongue out at the small Arabian pilot. Quatre returned the gesture in friendship and sipped his tea. As Duo started to leave his little demon turned to look at him. Quatre waved a finger at the little girl and smiled again, sipping his tea. He had never seen anyone so thrilled to have someone smile at them. She grinned enthusiastically and waved back with all of her arm, and incorporated most of her torso into the motion as well. That caused Quatres smile to deepen and he gave her a wink as she flitted off after Duo.
-End Part Five
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