Bwhahahahah! something that isn't And He Doth and huge!!! C and C are
REALLY APPRICIATED!!!!


Song Fic: Heropsychodreamer-Live
Kuriyamimizu
8/9/00

This was written in response to the challenge posted on the message
board at Shinigami Org. *HEEEELOOOO PEOPLE!*

Griffin: Plus I wouldn't even let her shower in peace until she
started it. By now you people should know that:

The G boys are not the author's and she doesn't claim that
they are.

A Note: This is set before Heero and Duo have really formally met.
They've seen each other a couple of times but otherwise don't
know
each other all that well. Has to be so for the ficcie to work out,
enjoy!!!

(- indicates a flashback
)-indicates end of flashback

Griffin: Now on with the fic!


      Duo strode patiently up to the window of the beaten building
that held a club within it. This was the oddest assignment that he
had been given in the last three months. He was to work through the
club and get quasi aquatinted with everyone there. There was an
informant somewhere in the club. They knew him, but he didn't know
whom the other was, and from what G told him, it was vice versa as
well. He was to find the person and see if he could get the info out
of them. For the occasion he had been told to dye his long braid
black and take on a totally different persona then the one that he
showed the world lately.
      In actuality it wasn't that hard for him to do so. He was
very familiar with club life through circumstances that he didn't
usually let people in on. He let himself out of what could have been
humiliating memories simply by informing himself that he had done
what was necessary for him and that was that. Truly that was all that
there was to it.

      For this assignment he'd adopted black hair and a rather
gothic, Renaissance-ish clothing style. He wore fairly tight black
slacks and a loose white silk shirt, over which was a lace-up black
vest. His slim hands were encased in leather gloves with the
fingertips chopped off. His fingernails were a dark shade of black
with a special top coat over them which would make them glow brightly
in a black light. His facial expression was perfectly fitted to one
who knew exactly what they were doing and what they would do to get
there. Without any more hesitation he stepped into the club, his
heeled boots clicking on the tiling inside.

      The bouncers knew him by now. Even before the mission he had
come on several occasions to unwind and let loose. The miasma of
drugs, men, women and music was the perfect balm for his ripped
soul.  As he walked out onto the dance floor his thoughts traveled
back to about two months prior. As he joined the communal motion of
the club his mind detached from his surroundings, leaving his body to
move as it would; and let itself free to wander to past days.

(      There had been a boy floating face down in the water, the
same one that later bailed out of the window with him at the OZ
compound. A boy with the most haunting blue eyes he had ever seen.
When he looked it were as if he were drowning in a sea of pure icy
fury and determination. Looking into those boy's eyes was looking
into the eyes of a soldier. He had learned a little later on that the
boy's name was Heero.

      Heero, it was a fitting name for the brash boy that had
literally tried to kill himself every time that Duo saw him. He
didn't know why the tall, silent Japanese pilot caught his interest
so. It wasn't as if he had said anything warm or acted friendly. Yet
for some reason Duo believed that given the right circumstances and
the right amount of time he might see something different in that
boy's eyes.

      As of right now though those weren't any sort of thoughts to
be thinking. G had informed him that if the other boy gave him
trouble he was to kill him. He was at the right impersonal level at
the moment to be able to perform the task without too much grief. )

      He hadn't seen Heero since the order to cap him had come his
way. It was just as well. His eyes were closed as his body moved in
it's own slow and sultry movements along to the music. The floor was
packed, people were everywhere around him, some always alone even
when in the crowded room; others were together, dancing close and
sometimes doing a little more than that; and yet others were forever
dancing with everyone else, caught up in the collective fever of
movement. He was by himself, and he would always be. He dismissed the
feelings of hands on him, over him as nothing more than background
noise. He knew that he would have to get to know these people slowly
and just enough so that they would talk with him. Some were just
there for a fling, but the ones that came back were the ones that he
needed to speak with. For now he let his body speak for him,
informing all around him that he was there and that he was very sure
of who and what he was and just how sexy he could be.

      The speakers droned on in the background, pounding out sound
at an almost deafening level. He could tell that it was a remix of
something he had heard back in the day. 

      As he stared across the room, letting everything flow into
his field of vision, someone stood out. It was a boy with amazingly
dark hair. His movements were slow and measured and precise and Duo
could tell that at least one of the sex-hounds of the place wanted
him. They were all around, daring to get close, but never quite
enough to touch. He had an air about him that defiantly said : Don't
touch, you can look, but don't touch.  It struck Duo how familiar
that he looked, but he couldn't place him. The evening was quick, he
left a little while after that, but he would come back the next day.

      The last vestiges of the night faded quickly as sleep drowned
the formerly chestnut haired pilot. He dreamt of the Japanese boy, of
standing out on the airstrip where they had last spoken and arguing
with him over what was the right thing to do, and if the mission was
all that really counted. And then he had shot Heero. He'd brought a
gun up and shot him, as if to illustrate the point that the orders
weren't what really mattered. It was the person behind the orders
that did.

      As he stared at the boy lying on the ground, his expression
dazed and a crimson flower of red spreading across his chest Duo
started awake, a single tear rolling down his face.

I'll kill you in my dreams
I turn the other cheek during the day
I'll kill you all.

      Duo checked his laptop later that morning after taking a
shower and washing the last of the night out of his hair and off of
him. The nightmare flowed away from him much as the water curving
down his body fell to the drain. He smiled and drew a little stick
figure with demon wings and a scythe and then wrote under it, `the
Shinigami'. On a moment's thought he brought his fingertip to the
steamy mirror's surface again and drew a little braid on the stick
figure too. After which he meandered out of the bathroom and down to
eat something and go to work. After he did that he would be hitting
the club once again.

      Something in the back of his mind told him that he ought to
get a little closer to the boy with the strange air of solitary
around him.

(Later that evening)

      Duo stepped in once again onto the crowded floor. After a
preliminary scan of the area he sighed his target. The aforementioned
boy was sitting at the bar, sipping something with a look of detached
calm on his face. Duo sauntered over, taking his time and working
through the crowds, subtly flirting to appease the hungry eyes that
looked at him. He'd been propositioned many times. Just because they
asked did not mean that they got however. He wasn't interested in
casual fucking. That wasn't why he was here, and especially not with
a bunch of drugged idiots. There were a couple of times that he had
accepted and in turn had gotten some fairly decent sex.

      After a short time of walking he got to the bar and took a
seat next to the boy. He made sure that his expression was one of
complete and utter neutrality. Bi was the best way to be in this kind
of an atmosphere he had found, and if nothing else this boy had
caught his interest. If it wasn't his cold, calm face that he had on,
so different than the hungry, lustful creatures around him, it was
his body. Everything was beautifully proportioned; and in that moment
he admitted to himself casually that he wanted him. To hell with the
mission. To hell with anything else for that mater. He had found my
target here.  

      After sitting for a while I looked over to him and spoke
simply, a non-assuming tone. "Wanna dance?"

      Heero looked into the violet eyes of the person that had been
sitting next to him for a while and fought a quick and decisive
internal battle. He was here on a mission, and he really didn't have
time to be fooling around with club goers, and yet the person sitting
next to him was something else entirely. He reminded him of that boy
Duo, that had been around a couple of months back.

      After having a month or two to think about his priorities
Heero understood that somewhere inside he had fallen face first and
unashamedly for the bouncy, vibrant, Deathscythe pilot. However he
hadn't seen the boy in months and he could very well be dead by now.
It would be a shame. He had discovered as of late that he was
attracted to the same sex, and it had been quite a revelation to him.
In a way he had Duo to thank for that. And now someone that looked
eerily like the same boy was sitting across from him, offering to
dance.

      With a quick nod of his head he rose and looked over his
shoulder waiting for the other to come and join him. At first Heero
was hesitant. There was so much confidence in the way that the other
boy moved and danced. Everything about him was entirely alluring.
From the way he moved to the little smirk on his face and the
brilliant twinkle in his violet eyes. The resemblance to him and the
boy named Duo was mounting ever more steadily, it was very weird. And
yet this time he wasn't going to question. Following some advice that
he had been given long ago he let the moment take him, his emotions
moving him rather than his mind.

(pass a couple of hours)

      Duo awoke with a start. There was someone in bed with him. At
his side there was the boy from the club, curled up on his chest and
sleeping peacefully. His eyes widened and he wondered how the hell he
had gotten where he was. The hotel room was very familiar. Oftentimes
he had been brought here, sometimes the seducer, sometimes the
seduced, and sometimes dragged against his will. Last evening he had
definitely been the seducer.
     
      He reached down and stroked a hand through the other boy's
hair. He had never gotten his name, nor had he told his own. Perhaps
it was just better that way. Roused by the fingers in his hair the
other woke up, blinking large cobalt blue eyes at Duo. He blushed,
muttered something in what sounded like Japanese and rolled off the
side of the bed, getting dressed and leaning over to give Duo a quick
and chaste kiss on his lips before hurrying out of the door. Duo
shook his head and smiled, closing his eyes and drifting back to
sleep.

The subculture of my dreams
Is waiting for me to fall asleep
I know you're scared, you should be
I know you're scared. 

Hero dreamer

(Pass approximately one month)
      Heero nodded to Joe as he stepped into the club. It had
become all too familiar to him. He knew every inch and corner simply
out of familiarity. Behind him he heard the door close and the hazy
atmosphere claimed him. He was around here somewhere, his violet eyed
lover. For the past month or so they had grown steadily closer,
exchanging very little about each other but growing steadily closer
emotionally.

      He stepped out onto the dance floor and felt people close
about him, and yet the claustrophobic nature of the place no longer
bothered him. The first time that he had slept with Him, he had been
scared out of his mind when he'd woken up. The feelings stirred up by
the previous night had overwhelmed him and he had gotten the hell out
of there. Yet now he was completely at ease with the braided baka.

      He saw the boy out on the floor, dancing alone as he always
would. Heero stepped out to join him and Duo moved to meet him.
Wrapping his arms about Heero 's waist from behind they danced
together. Heero was familiar and comfortable with every part of the
braided boy. The name Duo was something far gone from his mind. The
other boy, with the same eyes was in his past, a remembrance of
something unfulfilled. Over the month he had grown so close to the
black haired boy that it scared him. The boy had claimed his heart
completely. As they danced his lover leaned down and kissed his neck,
gently nipping at the tender skin and in the same motion giving
feather light kisses.

      Duo smiled as he tasted his lover. By mutual consent they had
never exchanged names, and yet knew each other much better than
anything else. He was almost afraid to think it but Duo realized
something. He was completely in love with this stoic boy that he
kissed. The boy with the icy eyes had completely stolen his heart
from him, much as Heero, the Wing pilot had back a while ago. He
could never tell the other boy. He couldn't say it, because bad
things always seemed to happen to those that he loved. Sister Hellen,
Father Maxwell and the Church were all prime examples of that. As
well as everyone that he had lost during the plague. He closed his
eyes at that memory and held to his silent koi tight.

This attic of my mind
These feelings I can't hide
I can't share
I feel alone, ah yeah
The subconscious keeps me here
I feel in love with a balladeer
I saw your tongue, it licked my heart
They called you queer

      That evening as they wandered to their usual hotel room Duo's
koi stopped him. He looked at the slightly shorter boy and spoke in
his smooth, almost monotone voice.

"Want to come to my place tonight? I have a surprise."

      Duo thought about it and then nodded. "That would be good.
What kinda surprise?"

      His koi just smiled and shook his head. "I can't tell you."

"C'mooon! PLEASE?"

"baka"


(Heero's apartment)

      As they laid, tangled in sheets and each other's arms Duo
spoke lazily. "I have a question, what was the surprise? Or was yet
more mind blowing sex it?"

      His koi smiled, kissed him rather roughly and reached behind
him. There was a little black book filled with lined paper and neatly
written kanji. Duo squinted and blinked. That would be his koi's
handwriting, though he could only read some of the characters.

"What's that?"  he asked inquisitively, propping himself up on his
elbows. His koi smiled one of his few and enigmatic smiles.

"They're for you."

      As he read them in English Duo felt a steady blush mount his
face. The words were sweet and tender and sincere, much clearer as to
what his koi felt for him than any words would convey in a spoken
conversation. As the poems and songs continued he realized that the
boy lying next to him was completely in love with him. In respect for
that he'd have to tell him what he was, who he was, and what it was
that he did. It would only be fair. After his koi had read everything
he intended Duo laid his head on his shoulder and smiled, contented.

*"Those were the most beautiful things I have ever had said, directed
or written for me."

      He leaned up and gave his still nameless lover a kiss. "Thank
you."

(Next day)

      Duo took a deep breath. The black was almost out of his hair
and the chestnut was beginning to return to him. He was going to talk
to his koi today. He had to tell the truth.

      Getting into the club was no problem. They spent their usual
time dancing and then they went to the hotel room. As Duo sat on the
bed he looked at the other boy and took a deep breath. He didn't have
a chance to say anything because the other spoke at the same time
that he did.

"I have something to tell you."

      They both blinked and Duo went first, avoiding the argument
over who went first. "I need to tell you about myself. I'm a pilot,
and I'm involved in some deep shit. I don't want you to get hurt. It
wouldn't be fair not to tell you because it's very possible that I
won't come back sometime."

      The other boy's face wasn't quite what it should have been.
With slow and deliberate care he spoke. "I'm a pilot too, and also
involved in some deep shit, involving the colonies. What's your
name?"

      Duo blinked. "My name? My name's Duo, what's yours?"

      When he saw the dogtags glittering under his koi's shirt he
knew that he would recognize the name.

"My name's Heero."

      They stared at each other in shock and then Duo burst out
laughing, loud and long. Everything was suddenly worse and better all
in the same moment.

"So Heero-kun, how's Wing these days?"

hero
dreamer
hero

they called you queer
they called you queer
they called you queer
they called you queer

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