"In
& Out"
a Gundam Wing Fanfic
by the Princess
**Warning--foul language, shounen-ai, characters frequently OOC...**
~Part 4~
Day 6
>passive<
Two more days lay before the Gundam pilots before the fabled retraction would occur...and yet, with their ranks significantly thinned, the likelihood of their living to see it is slim.
Wufei and Zechs were both arrested for the attempted murder of Kuruna Butsoyo, and sat in the cooler for a night, still awaiting their phone call. Whether or not Ms. Butsoyo planned to press charges remained to be seen. On the home front, Trowa had decided/realized that he was in love with Quatre, a fact which scared the living dickins out of the poor blondie. Also, Hiro spent the night wrestling with the fact that, while drunk, he had fantasized about Duo; this (and one other incident) was forcing him to ponder whether or not he was gay. An oblivious Duo, on this bright Friday morning, was happily unaware of the dramas unfolding with his teammates; all he wanted, after all, was a bottle of Humectress.
And somewhere too close for comfort, a powerful being awoke to laughter, relishing in his opportunity to wreck more havoc.
>Duo<
8:12 a.m.
Softly, slowly, *quietly*...that last above all.
I gently eased Hiro's bedroom door open a crack, and peered inside. The room was immaculate, anally neat and clean, like any soldier's quarters...all except for the bed. Hiro lay sprawled over the bed, his body weaving in and out of the tangled sheets and blankets; he'd knocked his pillows to the floor and had his head propped up against the bedstead.
>You're one friggin thrasher,< I thought, not daring to say anything aloud. Hiro had the frightening ability to wake up at the slightest noise, and he was a bear when he was wakened without express permission. As I valued my life, I didn't want to wake him up at *all*.
So I carefully crept across the bedroom floor, picking my footing carefully and delicately, trying to avoid any boards which looked like they might creak or do evil. Ten minutes later, I had crossed the 15 feet or so to the bathroom door, my fingertips brushing the handle. I glanced over my shoulder to see if Hiro was still asleep, and he was; his eyes were shut tight and his breath was deep and easy. I turned back to the bathroom, and started to ease the door open.
CREEEEAK--
>shit!< I hissed quietly in my head, afraid to vocalize the bad word. I looked back to see if I'd awakened the Beast--
And found myself staring into a pair of blazing cobalt eyes. He had gone from deep-sleep mode to maji-mukatsuku mode in roughly .001 seconds.
"Kuso!" I swore as he rose from the bed and stalked towards me. "Gomen nasai, Hiro! Gomen! I didn't mean to w--"
My pleas were severed off as Hiro siezed me by the throat. He yanked me closer, until our noses were nearly touching. Black mots of pain flecked my vision, and for one insane second, I was convinced he was going to kiss me, and I was scared shitless. He didn't kiss me, though; he bellowed: "I was TRYING to SLEEP, you CLUMSY little COCKSUCKER!!" and proceeded to throttle me.
I kicked him smack in the testicles, more on instinct than anything else, and fell to my knees, gasping. He shrieked in a high soprano and cupped his damaged goods. He collapsed writhing on the floor, and I started to wonder if he was going to be permenantly damaged.
Then, I noticed that he was laughing, and I got *really* scared.
>Hiro<
I felt like someone had touched a match to the network of nerves in my groin and they were going up like kindling. It wasn't the good kind of warmth, either; not the kind that Duo had managed to weasel out of me before. It hurt like hell, worse than any other pain I'd ever experienced...
And I was laughing. Of course I was; in addition to hurting like hell, it was also funny as hell. It was funny because I had spent almost all of last night wide awake, dwelling on Duo, brooding over the fact that I had had juicy dreams about him the night before. The mere thought of the dreams which had haunted me after I had vomited and gone to sleep after the bar made me flush. In my unaware state, where alcohol could not be blamed, I had fantasized about him. Some of it was kinky, worse than the yaoi trash that Trowa had found on his computer, but a lot of it had been simple and--let's face it--beautiful. At breakfast yesterday, when I watched him eat, when I was shooting those reporters, and mostly when we left the room, those dreams had been stuck in my mind; there was one relentless one where we were stargazing, and he tucked so neatly into my arms, and we whispered soft kisses over each other's faces, and the last thing I heard was my own voice saying: "God, I love you..."
So it had gone on, the memory of those dreams stuck firmly in my consciousness, refusing to let me forget. I had just gotten through building up a wall of denial and had barely fallen asleep, when a sudden CREEEEAK had woken me up.
And here we were, with my fingerprints on his neck, and my balls swelling up to the size of Mason jars from the pure pain of it, Duo gasping for breath, and me laughing like a lunatic.
I laughed because, in that second, I knew that I wasn't going to say my typical "Omae o korosu", or commit another violent act against him, ever again; it made me realize all the more that I was pathetically in love with him.
"Kuso!" I swore good-naturedly, continuing to laugh. "Ain't this just a fine kettle of fish!"
"Fish?" He looked dazed. "Hiro, what's fish have to do with--"
"Shut up," I said, not laughing but grinning.
"Dude, are you feeling all right? Did that kick--"
"Genkidayo," I said quickly. "Don't worry. What about you? Are you feeling all right? Tell me, how is my little Duo?"
"E?!" His amnethyst eyes went wide.
"Danijoobu desu. Kawaiine, getting so worked up over nothing!" I resisted an urge to touch his face, but only just.
"Hiro, are you drunk or something?"
"Nope."
"Damn. Well, there was hope."
"I've been up all night." I started to get the giggles.
"I suspected as much."
"Hee hee! You wanna know why?"
"Not really, but I'll bite. Doshite?"
"I was--ha!--thinkin' about you."
"I was afraid of that."
"You've been on my mind--hee hee!--a lot recently." I gave in to the urge to touch him,and brushed his bangs away from his eyes. He yelped like my hands were made of lava and jumped away. "Your hair looks cute."
"Shitfire! Back off, man! You're scaring me!" He started to scoot back against the wall.
"Ha ha! Funny you should phrase it like that. See--ha!--I've been pretty scared by you, too, recently. Cuz you've been on my mind--ha ha!--all the time--"
"I'm happy for you." His eyes were bulging out of his head as I crept closer to him.
"And after that...I started to dream--*ha!*--about you--hee hee!--and me together. And, ha ha! I'm pretty damn sure that I'm in love with you, Duo."
The giggles were suddenly gone. There it was, as simple and baldfaced as that. Duo's jaw appeared to unhinge; it dropped open, wider and wider, until it hit his chest. I would have reached over and closed it for him, if I wasn't convinced that he would bite me. Suddenly, his mouth snapped back shut, and he said: "Look dude, all I came in here for was conditioner--"
"Of course, koishii," I purred, gesturing to the bathroom.
"Never mind! Forget it! My hair will be just fine without one treatment of cream rinse! And *don't* call me 'koishii' again!" He slithered out of my range and ran like a rabbit out of my room.
He left, and I suddenly realized what I had done. It was like the temporary insanity I'd had while drunk. All mirth left me; I must have paled to the color of tissue paper. I stole into the bathroom, and looked for where I had left my detonator, so I could kill myself.
I was gay, and in love with Duo...Relena was going to commit hara-kiri.
>Quatre<
I had not slept at all the night before.
My hands shakily brought the espresso to my lips; I swallowed deeply, relishing the herbal bitterness. I had lain in my bed for hours and hours, staring blankly at the ceiling, and thinking about what Trowa had told me at breakfast the day before. I had easily blocked out the conversation for most of the day, but night has a fascinating ability to make you think about all the things you want to avoid...boogeymen, debt, death, war...or, say, the way your heart squeezes into a little lead ball when you best friend tells you that he loves you...
I had been awake, and I had been thinking, and I didn't care a bit for the things I was dwelling on.
I needed to talk to someone, but who would listen?
"Quatre, we need to talk," Duo declared as he suddenly burst into my room. I jumped a mile and spilled a little espresso on my hand, hissing in pain. "Gomen, but this is important!"
I thought about it for a second. Duo was not exactly someone I would seek out for advice, but maybe if I helped him, he would help me in return. "Shoot," I replied, licking the spilled coffee off my hand.
"*Thank* you," he said breathlessly, and flopped down on the bed. I noticed that he looked pale and a little frightened, and I got worried; why would he look like that? The last person I'd seen look like that was Trowa, before--
"You're not confessing your love for me, are you?"
"NO! Why the hell would I do that?! No, it's not that. It's that I just talked to Hiro, and he thinks he's in love with me."
"Nani?!"
"Our ranks are thinning. Hiro's got the gay!"
"He needs to join the club," I muttered.
"E?"
"It's Trowa. He thinks he's in love with me, too."
"Oh God, you're joking!"
I shook my head. "Iie."
Duo hopped off the bed, and started to pace my room. "OK, let's take stock of the situation here. So Hiro and Trowa are gay. So what? That won't affect us in the least. Of course not. You're sure you're straight?"
I was a little offended at the question. "Hai. You're the one that should be worried; you *did* ding Hiro's dong, after all."
"I WAS DRUNK!!"
"I have never known any man get drunk enough to lick another man's lollipop!"
"SHUT UP WITH YOU DAMN PUSSY EUPHEMISMS!" He started to jump up and down in fury, like the floor was electrified or something. Then, he stopped, and took three quick, deep breaths, trying to relax. "Look, we can't get freaked out and start a witch trial here. We're both straight, and that's cool. I'm perfectly straight; just last week, I fucked a prosti--never mind. What's important is that we come up with some sort of game plan which will keep the faggots at bay before we catch their germs or whatever."
"A prostitute?" I couldn't help but giggle.
"It's more than you can say," he said hotly, a blush rising in his cheeks. "What are we gonna do? We can't fight something we can't see!" He started to pace the room, waving his hands around for emphasis. "There's got to be some sort of disinfectant. Or a gas mask, that's the ticket. This is obviously some sort of infection of the mind, and we *can* keep healthy if we're both very careful, and--" He stopped suddenly, and looked at his hands, which were still flopping around midair like fish out of water. "And what the hell am I doing with my hands?!"
"Limpwrist!" I snickered, sipping at my coffee. That sent him into a paranoid rage, darting around my room and shrieking like a banshee. I briefly considered calling Rashid with some elephant tranquilizers to subdue him...but I had wanted to talk to him, not send him into a coma. "I'm sorry, Duo. I think the stress of Noin's accusations proving correct in two out of five has deep-fried our brains. Lord knows I couldn't sleep at all last night thinking about it. I think that maybe, what would help us *both* to be reassured is if we simply tell Trowa and Hiro that we're not like that. If we vocalize it to someone other than ourselves, that might be all the immunity we need."
He paused. "Ikemasen. Could it be that simple? Here and I was thinking about sealing myself from the world, like the boy in the bubble--"
"As much of a blessing as that might be, no. Just tell Hiro that you don't love him."
"I dunno, man. He was acting like he was on crack. Like he was wired beyond belief."
"It happens to people who don't get enough sleep."
"Really? Ajapa, I hope that's it! Thanks, Quatre, you're a big help!" He ran back out of my room, crowing about lunchtime.
I looked down into the bottom of my empty espresso mug. "Now, then, you baka," I muttered, "let's see if you can practice what you preach."
>Wufei<
3:40 p.m.
I felt naked without my sword.
"I hate this place," I grousled as I tried to get comfortable on the cot. The mattress was made out of shredded cardboard stuffed into a burlap sack, for all the comfort it gave. The actual bunk was rusting steel and shrieked in pain every time I made a move. Thankfully, I got the top bunk; the idea of Zechs suddenly falling on top of me in the middle of the night wasn't a pleasant one.
And hell if I didn't miss my sword!
"You're not supposed to like it," Zechs said, like the high-and-mighty asshole that he was. "If people liked it, then they would never leave."
"Thanks a bunch, that fact hadn't occured to me. No shit! I know I'm not supposed to like it! That doesn't mean I'm not going to bitch about it!"
"Just keep your eyes closed, all right?"
I willingly did. There were drawings of genitals and the like all over the walls here, as well as crude messages about where past inmates liked it slipped to them. I had nearly blown up like an overfilled water balloon when we'd first came in, and now Zechs forced me to keep my eyes shut at all times. "So," I said, "how'd you like it when you dropped the soap?"
"Leave me alone," he growled. I could picture him putting a reflexive hand to his sore behind, and smirked.
"I've heard of not giving a flying fuck before, but I never thought I'd see one."
"Fuck you. I'm just waiting until I get my phone call, so I can get the hell out of here."
"Isn't this a violation of our Constitutional rights? Not giving us our phone call right away and not posting bail?"
"Those only apply to people who aren't suspected to be gay. They assume we like it here."
"Yeah, well, I HATE IT HERE!!"
"You got a phone call."
I risked opening my eyes, and glanced at the barred door in surprise. There stood a guard, dangling a ring containing a bunch of keycards in his hand. "Nani?"
"You yahoos both got your phone calls, doncha? Come on if you wanna make em." He flipped through the keyring, selected a card, and slid it into the appropriate slot on the door. "Hey, how's Monica Lewinsky like a vending machine?" he snickered as he let the both of us out and we walked down the hall.
"They both put out for a dollar?" I guessed, feeling a little lightheaded. The prisoners in the cells we passed were looking at me with dull, piggy eyes.
The guard hee-hawed and wiped tears from his eyes. "Naw, but that's a quick answer!" he snickered. "They both got holes that say 'Insert Bill Here'! Of course, she's nothin compared to that Trieze character. Swear to God, he's a sex pervert, all the papers say so, has an obsession with online pornography. God knows what kind of freaky shit he'd engineer just to get a buzz off it."
"Ajapa, we're in the presence of an intelligence far greater than our comprehension," I said dryly. Zechs snorted, but his eyes were glued on the prisoners as he passed, and I saw him reflexively cover his backside. About half of the people in the cells we were passing had gotten free shots at Zechs's ass.
But still, something about his comments on Trieze made me think...
"Here's the phone," the guard said. "Make it quick." He stood off in the corner, his hand gently resting on the butt of the gun strapped to his hip, watching us closely.
I snagged the phone off the hook first, but Zechs came up from behind and wrestled it away. He quickly dialed and patiently waited as it rang on the other side. "Noin?" he said. "Thank God! Listen, I got arrested last night and I've been shut up ever since...Wufei was caught trying to kill that reporter Butsoyo...I was there. It wasn't my fault; I was trying to stop the bastich...Hai. Hai. Hai. I don't know what my bail is. They haven't told us any--...iie. I told you, they won't tell us anything. Hang on a sec." He cupped a hand over the phone and hissed to the guard, "What's our bail, do you know?"
"Not for certain," the guard replied, "but the rumors I've heard put it at maybe 500 grand."
"NANI?!? HOW MUCH?!?!"
"Attempted murder's a helluva serious crime, jimbo."
Into the phone, he said: "He thinks it's 500 grand...A-kochimo bimbo-dayo...I don't know what we're going to do. Pull whatever strings you have to. Remember, this is your fault...How? If you hadn't accused us of being gay, Wufei wouldn't have had a reason to attack that reporter...Don't give me that lip, just give me some money, and soon! And don't forget your press conference in two days!" He hung up. "Your turn, Wufei."
"Thanks," I muttered, "now that I'm practically hung, I suppose I could call a lawyer to get a will written out." I took the phone from him, thought about who I wanted to call. I thought back to Trieze, and decided to take a risk. I dialed; it rang; an answering machine picked up. "Hello, you have reached the home of Kuruna Butsoyo. I'm out right now; leave a message at the beep, and remember that Jesus loves you, but everyone else thinks you're an asshole."
>Charming,< I thought, then left a quick message. "Listen, Kuruna, I'm calling from the jail--don't delete this yet. I'm sorry for attacking you, but I think we can work out a trade. If you can possibly get me out--bail is 500 grand--and drop the charges against us, then I swear to you I can give you info about this whole story that'll make everyone's head spin. It's about that online buyer, dead_gorgeous. I think he's someone powerful. Sayonara." I slammed it back down on the hook. "Let's go."
As we were led back to the cell, Zechs gave me a weird look. "Do you really think she'll bite?"
"Of course she will. She's a reporter. They live for finding the truth and making it as dirty as possible, and if I'm right, then this is as dirty as it gets."
>Quatre<
9:14 p.m.
Oh, God.
He was crying.
I didn't remember ever seeing Trowa cry before, and the sight of it now nearly broke my heart. He didn't know I was there, thought he was alone, and I guess if he knew I was there, he'd have freaked out considerably. He was sitting in front of his computer, staring at the screen and crying silently, the tears slipping out of his emerald eyes and trickling down his face before dripping to the keyboard. It was almost exactly the way I had found him when he'd told me he loved me the first time, except that the computer screen was blank--the machine was off--and there was still a little daylight making its way through his window. I stood there at his doorway, the door barely eased open, not quite inside or outside of his room, and watched.
He was dead silent except for an occasional shuddering breath, and I wished he would speak, even if he cursed my name. There was something *wrong* about crying and not making any noise. People were supposed to sob, or sigh, or choke up, or get runners of snot and have to blow their noses. >Perhaps his sadness is beyond verbalizing,< I thought, and felt even worse. I had come in there to tell him that I was straight, that I didn't love him, but I didn't know anymore if I could risk breaking his heart anymore than it already was.
>Why do you care if his heart is broken, Quatre?< I thought. >Doshite? Really, now, let's not fool ourselves.<
>...Wakannai.<
>Liar.<
"Quatre," Trowa suddenly said, and I glanced at him sharply, but he was still oblivious to my presence. I listened intently as he muttered to himself, "What is this? Why *do* I care so damn much? Was it really like this all the time? How could I have been so unaware of something this strong? What power do you hold over me, this beautiful boy who haunts my dreams?" And he continued to weep his silent tears, as if pretending that his words had been a figment of his imagination, and had never been spoken at all.
I felt a league of questions begin to press down on my mind, and I resolutely ignored them. No. I was sure, dammit. There was no question. I knew who I was. And no matter how badly I felt for Trowa, it was friendship and nothing more. I wasn't going to do some crazy gay stuff just because we were friends, I wasn't going to be obligated--
Suddenly, my thoughts about the others fighting a few days ago bit me in the butt: >Methinks the boy protests too much.<
>But I don't love him. I...<
"Who's there!!" It was an exclamation, not a question. Trowa spun around in his seat, and the look on his face surprised me: the one visible eye was wide with fright, like he'd been caught freebasing instead of weeping. "Quatre! What--how much did you hear?"
"I--" I stammered, knowing that I had a caught look on my face as well. "I--Trowa--I didn't mean to--"
"It's all right," he said, wiping at his eyes. "Don't worry about it. I'm fine. I'm just..."
"Don't try to lie to me," I said, suddenly feeling angry at him. "Let's get it all out in the open. You were crying over me. I heard what you said, so don't try and bullshit with me. You've made it clear how you feel, and I came here to make it clear how I feel."
"Which is?"
"I have no bloody clue," I said. "Honesty, remember? I don't know anymore. I came in here, expecting to just say that I'm straight and I don't love you, and that would be the end of it, a finale to the whole rotten affair. But...I saw you crying over me, and I heard what you said about me. And now...well..." I shut my eyes, trying to think. I was always the open one, always the one who felt free to share my feelings, but I didn't know what to say, because my heart was pounding in my head and I couldn't think past the throbbing rhythm of blood, what to do, what to do--
My body, as though tired of my mind's interference, solved the problem for me. Without thinking, without even realizing what I had done, I stumbled over to where Trowa was and yanked him out of the chair with a warm embrace. His entire frame was stiff with shock, and I sometimes wonder what the expression was on his face when I gave him the deepest kiss either one of us had experienced.
>passive<
10:09 p.m.
The following is an IM communique between Kuruna Butsoyo (getawaynow) and her boss (drop_dead201895265):
getawaynow:i think i have a big scoop in regards to the gundam case.
drop_dead201895265: Oh, you do? What's that?
getawaynow: there'z a gundam boy who thinks he knows who dead_gorgeous is. he hinted that it's someone in power. if i get him out of jail then he'll squeal. this could be big.
drop_dead201895265: Forget it. It's nothing important.
getawaynow: you sure? it wouldn't take much to get him to tell
drop_dead201895265: I'm very sure. He's better off in jail.
getawaynow: ok sir. i'm signing off now
drop_dead201895265: All right, Kuruna. LEAVE HIM IN JAIL.
getawaynow: yessir
The following is a second IM communique between Kuruna and her sister, Kittana-i Butsoyo (perverted_freakmeister00):
getawaynow: sis listen up. i have an idea i think you can bounce off your bosses at nbc.
perverted_freakmeister00: what?
getawaynow: how would you like to know the identity of dead_gorgeous? they think he's someone in power. i can get confirmation in a day.
perverted_freakmeister00: i think that the exec, Mr. Rasputin, would probably shit himself so many bricks he could build a house. spill.
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Disclaimer
The Gundam boys and anything pertaining to Gundam Wing belong to the creators of the show, not to me, no matter how hard I wish. They are being used without permission for fun, not profit. If you don't know this, then you are a sad sack of shit. Go crawl under a rock and wither up and die. Also, "In & Out" belongs to its writer, and not me; any semblances between the plot of this fanfic and that movie were done very much intentionally. Don't worry, similarities are rarer than you'd think.
In contrast, The Bunghole, Kuruna Butsoyo, Kittana-i Butsoyo, and any characters not belonging to the Gundam franchise are mine, and may not be used without my permission (God only knows why anyone would want to use them, but...). Kittana-i and Kuruna are 100% mine, but there is a bar in Portland, ME called The Bunghole. Whether it houses gays or not is beyond my knowledge.
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Preview of Part 5:
Duo: "Oh, hell! Oh, damn! Oh, shit! Oh, fuck! Of course I'm panicking! What am I supposed to say?! Relax, old boy, this doesn't mean that *you're* gonna wind up gay! It'll all work itself out, hahahaha!"
Quatre: "Right. Just because Noin was right about three out of five doesn't make you gay. Oh, by the way, Hiro's out stargazing. He wanted to talk to you."
Duo: "No way, it's a trick! I don't wanna get too close to him or I'll catch it! You caught it, for God's sake!"
Wufei: "You've got a sister?"
Kuruna: "Several. This is Kittana-i. She's a reporter for NBC. Her boss, Mr. Rasputin, is interested in learning the identity of dead_gorgeous. My boss wouldn't touch it, for some reason."
Kittana-i: "We're not exactly sure how many of us there are--sisters, I mean."
Wufei: "Great. Taihen kekkoo. Not only are we ripping off of that Kevin Klein movie, we're also slipping into copyright infringement with Elf Princess Rane!"
Zechs: "You know, 'drop_dead' and 'dead_gorgeous' are suspiciously similar. And I think the numbers have some significance...Oh, my God! Of course! That's the answer! We should have seen it from the start!"
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Now, cuz you're special--Japanese!!!
Gomen nasai--I'm *really* sorry
Genkidayo--I'm fine/cool
Kawaiine--You're so cute
Doshite--why
koishii--beloved
Ikemasen--no way
bastich [German]--bastard
A-kochimo bimbo-dayo--Oh, I'm poor too
Sayonara--goodbye (don't insult me and tell me you didn't know that!!)
Kittana-i--Gross! That's perverted!
On to Part 5
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