Legal: I don't own any part of GW, but I can dream, ne? Please don't sue me, I am a poor college student. You'll get nothing but some fine British Lit. books, and there is no GW in them!

Warnings: Umm, none really. A wee bit of violence, some shounen-ai situations. Angst, sap..all that good stuff.

"Private Thoughts"

I am not as cold hearted as most believe me to be.

I hurt him, and I realize that now.

I hurt him not just physically, but mentally.

He was so persistant! I didn't think he'd ever actually do it. When he finally admitted that he loved me, I saw the hope in his eyes. My heart did two things: First it fluttered in a way I was not used to, than it constricted.

I panicked.

I shoved him into the wall, and felt dizzy with rage.

All I remember is being angry. I was angry at his admission, and angry at my own response to it...but which response made me angry?

I raised my hand, ready to strike him, *wanting* him to feel the pain!

The pain that would surely follow if this went any further.

I looked in those eyes, and stopped.

They were filled with fear.

He was...scared of me.

He, who laughed in the face of death; who got captured by OZ; whose very nickname was Death.

He was scared of *me*.

My hand dropped to my side.

He trembled against the wall.

I slowly reached my hand out to his face again. I slowly let one finger trail against his smooth skin.

He cowered like a frightened dog.

His eyes were shut tightly, and he let out the most pathetic whimper that still haunts me to this day.

My hands were shaking, and I slowly exhaled.

I left him there, alone, paralyzed with fear.

That was two weeks ago.

Since then it is all I can think about. Was it so wrong to want to protect myself? And him?

I know he has moved since then, but he is not hard to find.

It is raining outside, but it is not a cold, unplesant rain.

It is a summer rain, the type that is relief from the stifling heat.

I know he will be unhappy about this. He is the type who was born for bright sunshine.

I stop at the run down shack, running a hand through my rain slicked hair.

The door flings open at my hesitant knock, and two violet eyes stare at me in disbelief.

I pick up where we left off, and let my hand caress his cheek once more, silently asking his forgiveness, and giving him my long overdue response to his earlier admission.

With an anguished sob, he pulls me inside, and embraces my wet body.

"Duo." I murmur softly.

I am not as cold hearted as most believe me to be.

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